I know I know, you're all probably sick and tired of hearing about how wonderful my neighbours are. *snore* Well maybe if they weren't so darn nice to me this wouldn't be such an issue for you, my audience. The fact of the matter is I have Princess Blondie and Bruno "the big Italian Chanukah fairy" living across the hall from me, so I have been showered in love and gifts. This morning I put my face right up to the crack of their door and in a low demonic voice, asked if they were awake yet (it was around 8:15am. heh). Princess Blondie opens the door to find me standing there (with my friend visiting from out of town) as I was heading out to work. "Hold on a sec!!" she says as she shuts the door to retrieve my present. She and Bruno feverishly gathered up my present and then she opened up the door again to present me with a beautiful cookie jar. *grin* You see, everytime I go over to their place I stick my hand in their cookie jar and fish out some cookies. Now I have a jar of my own! Hurray! Thank you again guys, you have been making my day with all this thoughtfulness. ((hugs))

Yesterday was a busy day for me. I met up with "the girls" to do a present exchange at the Golden Griddle. A little breakfast and a little fun to start off the day. Amusingly, we were all absolutely exhausted from being up the night before together at our gathering, and could barely keep our eyes open. I scored nicely, as both my friends gave me awesome dvds; Pirates of the Caribbean and Fight Club. Wheee!! I am so excited!
After that my old chum came in from out of town and we dropped her boyfriend off at the airport and then we went to my parents place for dinner. We were both pretty tired so we went back to my place and went to bed *really* early. I was in bed by 9:50pm, and that's only coz I made myself stay up that late. I was ready for bed hours before that.

Anyway, today is a new day. The temperatures here in Toronto are going to reach an incredible 6C (42.8F) which I guess is kinda nice, but there is NO SNOW here!! Damnit, where's my snow???? *pout* I like dee snow. }:-)
When I checked the news this morning I saw that the American government has raised the terrorist alert to "orange". This annoyed me on behalf of the American population. I just don't understand why they do this all the time...every holiday they scare the general public by saying something *might* happen, and that everyone should be aware. What the hell are you supposed to do with that kind of information?? Is that just to cover their asses so that if something *does* happen they can say they warned you?? (coz as time marches on, it's come to light that they knew of a possible threat of hijackers before 9/11, but nobody said anything. so is this there way of saying something just in case?) I dunno what to say anymore. I guess we cross our fingers, hope everything turns out okay, and keep our eyes open. But try not to let it ruin your holidays...these are special times. :-) When I light my fourth candle tonight, I will send "stay safe vibes" to all my American buddies, south of the border. And just remember, Israel thwarts suicide bombers nearly everyday. Be thankful. That was the 40th suicide bomber stopped since the bombing on October 4th.

 
I'm just wondering if life gets much better than this. I have people in my life right now that have a way of making me feel SO damn loved. Princess Blondie and her boyfriend Bruno have been playing nicky nicky nine doors every morning now, leaving a little Chanukah present for me to find when I open the door. It's just about the sweetest thing I have ever had anyone do for me (day after day! lol). It amuses me to think of how fast they must move in order to knock on my door and then get back into their apartment before I get to the door. This time I was given a wonderful little day to day calendar called "A Little Joy, A Little Oy". It's awesome!! *sigh* {I love you guys!!! Thank you so much!!!} This has been the bestest Chanukah ever, thanks to them. :-)

And like I said...life doesn't get much better than this. Last night I gathered with my friends and had an awesome time. I have tried a few times now to explain the great love and bond I have with this large group of friends, but words don't seem to do justice in describing how I feel. I guess the best way is to say that when I gather with them I feel like I've come home. We are *so* comfortable with each other, as our bond runs 15 years deep, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I come alive when I am with these people....and I remember who I am and where I've been.
Since it was a potluck we all brought some food to contribute to the evening, which always makes it fun. And like any family gathering, we are all in the kitchen getting the food ready and setting the table. I love it. And we all pitch in cleaning up with shifts rotating between playing cards, and cleaning up. We laughed, we played cards, we drank, and we exchanged gifts. Everybody got to go home with a present in hand, a belly full of laughs and food, and a song in their hearts. This morning I am feel extremely tired, but very happy.

Today I am meeting with a select group of girls from the same friends from last night, in order to exchange more gifts. We just can't get enough it would seem. lol. So we're meeting for pancakes and coffee. Good, I could use a little caffeine.
And THEN I have a friend coming in from out of town to stay overnight with me. She's part of my 20 year friendship alumni. Not too many of those!! Gotta hang on tight to keep them that long. *wink*
I hope everyone has been having a great weekend. Tonight I light the third candle. :-)

 
I am having a wonderful weekend, and it's only Saturday morning. Last night I went out with some friends to celebrate a birthday. Always fun. And last night I lit the first candle on my Chanukiyah. I am in love with my Chanukiyah because it was hand made by my friend; he works with metal and I think he does beautiful work. When he and his wife moved to England this year he gave it me before he left. I will love and treasure it always. Isn't it stunning?? *sigh*


A few minutes ago there was a knock at my apartment door. I wonder what Princess Blondie is up to this morning, I think to myself as I walk to the door (maybe she was looking for toilet paper, she had just texted my phone looking for some. LOL!!). When I opened my door I found a gift at my doorstep. With a grin growing from ear to ear, yet again, I snatched it up and ran into my apartment. I opened it up to find the Coca-Cola logo, in Hebrew, in a frame so I can hang it up. *GRIN* She is genius!! Our hours together watching Survivor have tipped her off to my love for Coke, and she managed to tie it into something Hebrew for me for a Chanukah present. This girl seriously wants me to cry or something; she is just being too sweet to me. I cannot believe how thoughtful she is.... wow. This here is a friend I'm not letting go of, she is one in a million. THANK YOU AGAIN!!!! mwah!!! :'-) (I have hung it in my kitchen until I can find somewhere better for it)

My day can only get better from here. Well except that I am about to go into work for a few hours if you can imagine. Blah. But no problem, I have a great night ahead of me. I am getting together with my Gang of Friends for a huge potlock dinner. I can't wait. I love these people so much, they are like family to me. This will definitely be one of the highlights for the holidays. My god, do I have the best friends ever or what?? I am SO grateful. I will gather with my friends, eat tons of food, swap presents, play cards and laugh the night away. Today, my heart sings. :-D

 
Okay, do we all know who Princess Blondie is? My friend and neighbour across the hall? Well let me just tell you how much I adore this girl (as if I haven't before). Today as I was leaving my apartment I found a present taped to my door. My darling neighbour had taped Chanukah mints to the lock on my door!! How sweet is this girl??? THANK YOU, PRINCESS BLONDIE!!

The timing couldn't be better because I have just *not* been able to get into the holiday spirit. I have one foot in the world of Christmas, and one foot in the world of Chanukah, and sometimes it can be a little tough. But when I found those mints this morning I had a smile on my face that went from ear to ear. It was about the sweetest thing ever to have someone acknowledge Chanukah to me in a world swirling with Christmas music and maniacal shoppers. THAT is what friends are all about. Mwah!! Now I'm am finally excited about the holidays!!!

So yes, I'd like to extend a Happy Chanukah to all my Jewish readers. May you and your families celebrate great joy and love together over the next 8 days (in other words, stuff yourself with plenty of latkes and sufganiot!). Chag Sameach and Shabbat Shalom! And if you are getting tired and frustrated over the holidays (family has a way of doing that), you may toss sufganiot at various politicians. Give it a try, you'll feel better. (thanks to Imshin for the link)
And for those who are interested you may find out more about Chanukah here, and here (it begins at sunset tonight).

 
My day started off okay, and then a chain of events lead to what one would classify as a "bad day". Nothing big, but it's the kind of stuff that if you are not in the right state of mind when it comes, can really set you off. Events that I could normally handle somehow seemed like the biggest deal in the world, and I was ready to go postal.
It seemed like a simple assignment.....get 18 cans of spray paint from a particular store. Due to the quantities, I might be forced to travel to 2 or more, and buy the stores out. I shan't bore you with the details, but let's just say the staff in the first store were less than helpful. In fact, I'd go so far as to say they were ANTI-helpful. I walked out of that store empty handed and fuming. I drove to the next location and was met by similarly helpful staff. I really started stewing in my anger and had visions of running up and down the aisles with my arms out, knocking everything off the shelves just to get someone's attention. Maybe THEN they could help me find what I was looking for. I eventually found what I was looking for withOUT the help of the staff. I paid, I left.

Anyway, long story short, I got back to work in a notably worse mood than when I left (rush hour traffic really helped heighten my elated mood). I left work positively stewing (my boss would NOT let me leave until I had calmed down, as I tend to drive like a homicidal maniac when I'm mad) and the rush hour traffic was now worse than ever. My mood was growing. The drive home from work is about 35 minutes. Plenty of time to think about how pissed off I am. It starts off that I'm pissed off at the stupid sales people in the store, to being pissed off at all the friends who ever let me down or stabbed me in the back, to pretty much being pissed off at the whole world. I planned to order pizza, forget shopping tonight as planned, and aim for a long night of tv viewing. I was in a bad mood, and I didn't wanna be around people, and I sure as hell did NOT want to be out shopping.

When I arrived home I opened my mailbox...and what did I see? A cheque? Made out to ME?? Who is this from??
My landlord had written me cheque for $100; apparently it's interest on my deposit. WOO HOO!!! I cheered. I needed a break today, and I found it in my mailbox when I got home. Who'da thunk it?
Wow....sometimes you just never know you're gonna get a break....and often it comes just when you need it. Gotta keep the faith, baby!

On a parting note, let us have a moment of silence for the retirement of a fine Israeli invention. It seems that after 50 years of service, the Uzi, a submachine gun named after it's creator, is being phased out. It was a staple in the Israeli army, and a national icon. There's more info on it here if you are interested.

 
Nerds around the world united yesterday for one great cause: the viewing of all three Lord of the Rings movies. It was a geekfest extravaganza that started with the purchase of the tickets a month ago. Then yesterday my friends and I skipped out of work and were at the theatre for 12:15pm (the movies started at 2pm). Hopped up on sugar and free Coke refills, it was a true test of our bladders, our love of the movies, and of our attention span. (for a reporter's blow-by-blow description check out his report here)

Like many others I had packed my own food.....you simply HAD to if you expected to survive nearly twelve hours in the movie theatre. I took a quick stop to Wal-Mart before meeting up with my friends, stocking up on the beef jerky, water, Crispy Minis (mini cheesy rice cakes. so good!!), and wet naps. This was added to my bag of Doritos, and Halloween candy that I was bringing from home. I figured that if caffeine won't carry us, perhaps sugar highs will.

In the end it wasn't nearly as difficult to sit through all three movies as I thought it would be. Admittedly, it was getting tough in the final hour or so, but that's to be expected. I really enjoyed the extra footage included in the first two, that previously could only be found on the dvd; the footage really added to the movie. In terms of stamina through the movie, we all had our ways of dealing with sitting in one place for extended periods of time; some of us were fidgety, some stretched, and others actually got up and walked around at the back of the theatre. Some stood through portions of the film. Hey, ya did what ya had to....it was a looong day.

Of course if you know anything about these films, you know that they are about 3 - 3.5 hours long (with the added footage). This begs the question...just how many times DOES one have to break for the washroom given that Coke refills are free (and most of us bought a jumbo cup)? Well, for me (a "frequent pee-er") it meant a well timed washroom break about an hour before the end of the film, in the first two movies. I had seen the first two before, so I was fairly confident I could time my exit so that I would not miss too much (and I can get to the bathroom and back in record time, what with having so much practice and all). This timing was important because it would mean that when the movie ends I would not be in the super long line up desperate to relieve myself of my wares. We were alloted 25 minutes of break time between movies, so there wasn't a whole lot of time to go to the washroom and then grab some food. So. By making that trip an hour before, I avoided the lineups in the bathroom right after the movie ends (always a nightmare for we women) and then just before the start of the next movie I would go visit the little girl's room *again* (it's been an hour and a half now since my last trip) and had the joy of avoiding the lineups because everyone had already gone there first. Genius? I think so.

The fans were great, as we were all brought together for the same geeky reason. We laughed, we talked, we had a great time. We applauded, we cheered, and we booed. It's always great to see a film like this with like-minded people.
And we were rewarded for our efforts and dedication with a Lord of the Rings collectible. The theatre handed out a gift consisting of a strip of film, one cell from each movie. It's in this sort of...frame, I guess you'd call it. You can have a look at it here. Pretty cool hunh? Maybe I'll sell it on eBay like everyone else. Or maybe if one of you can give me a *really* good reason why I should give it to you, I will. Tis the season! Drop me an e-mail if you like.

Overall, it was yet another awesome day out with my friends. I love them, they are the bestest, and there isn't anyone else I'd rather be with for 12 hours of movie fun! mwah!! :-*

(and a Mazal Tov goes out to my geek friend Will....he told us yesterday that he and his wife are expecting their first child. hurray!!)

 
Raise your hand if you're sick and tired of seeing Saddam's mouth being inspected with a flashlight and tongue depressor!

Oy, it's getting old. But ya know what? There are worse things to have to watch repeatedly on the news. This one makes everyone a little happy, I think. Well.....almost everyone. Allow me to highlight my own personal reasons for being happy that Saddam is now out of the picture and forced to face the world for what he's done; I am happy because in the first Gulf War in 1991, Saddam and his soldiers fired no less than 39 scud missiles into Israel. Afterall, if your missiles can't reach America, why not hit one of her allies? Indeed, the Palestinians cheered as the scuds flew over the West Bank and into Tel Aviv, destroying buildings and lives upon impact. And do you know what Israel did? Israel did *nothing*. Israel was asked by the United States to stay out of the war and not retaliate against the attacks, for fear it would complicate things if Israel got involved. Afterall, that war was supposed to be between Kuwait, the U.S., and Iraq. So Israel did as asked and held it's fire. So thanks to his actions during the first Gulf War, I have 39 reasons for smiling because of Saddam's capture. He will never attack Israel again.

One more reason I am happy that he was captured involves the fact that Saddam has been known to not only support Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat, but help fund the terrorism Yasser's groups inflict upon Israelis (namely suicide bombers). Saddam would give money towards the planning and building of the groups who made the bombs, AND he would donate money to the families of the suicide bombers, as a reward for their great sacrifice. Thank you SO much Saddam, for making life terrifying for millions of Israelis, as well as of millions of Iraqis. Good riddance.

The problem people are having is understanding the significance of his capture; they need to understand how it will, or will not, effect them personally. Until you make something personal, you can't fully grasp the gravity of a situation. For some people this capture means religious and personal freedom like they have never known before. For others it will mean a step closer to packing up and leaving after serving in a long difficult war. For me it became that much more personal when a family I love very dearly moved to Israel last September. And when the Gulf War began in March they were terrified as they were told to seal off a room and prepare for war. It became VERY fucking personal for me then. And I was never so happy as to hear that not one single scud was fired in Israel's direction this time. And I will be very happy if it never happens again.

My rant ends here.... thank you for listening. Let's move onto something a little lighter. :-)
I just returned home from doing some shopping. I friggin' hate last minute holiday shopping, I really do. I have no patience, and I don't even like shopping on a good day. Put me in a hot winter coat in an even hotter shopping mall with crowds....and you have one short tempered girlie on your hands. So I try my best to make quick work of it. I managed to tackle quite a few on my list, but it's going to take another round to get it finished. I had better be able to finish this soon, coz one more Christmas carol and I might commit murder.

Tomorrow, however, is going to be a glorious day. Me and my geek friends are pulling an all time geek day; we are watching all three Lord of the Rings movies, back to back, in the theatre. It's a 12 hour movie marathon, and I can't wait!! Eeeek!!!! Meryl is getting in on the action too....is anyone else? (or am I the only geek? *gulp*)
So anyway, I won't be around much tomorrow..I'm sure you can find other ways to amuse yourself.
Try this (via Jill): Mr. Picassohead.

 
"HO. LEE. CRAP!!!"
That was my reaction to the news this morning. My routine in the morning is that I get up and go straight to my computer, and onto CNN.com to make sure the world is more or less in one piece, as I left it when I went to bed. For me this can often be a scary experience since most of my worldly interests are in the middle east and because they are 7 hours ahead of me, much of their day is over when my day is just beginning. This means that if something happened there in the morning, it's old news by the time I finally hear about it. There have been many times I have woken up only to find out about yet another bombing in Israel; not a great way to start the day.
But I digress.

When I first went on CNN.com and saw the *huge* headline "We got him" I had no idea who they were talking about. The picture beside it obviously didn't help since Saddam looks like a crazed caveman. Upon reading just who it was they captured I found a large grin growing from ear to ear. I could NOT be happier for the Iraqi people. It has been an incredibly tough road for them, and I hope to God this brings them some sense of relief and closure.
I have never really spoken about my views on this whole Iraq issue for a wide variety of reasons, but I will say this much: while I don't believe the ends justifies the means, I hope that this is the beginning of something positive. What I think doesn't really matter because the situation is what it is. What's done is done, and now we all must make the most of it. Things have become such a horrific mess over there that it's nice that something positive has come out of it. I hope the Iraqis sleep a little better tonight because of this news. May tomorrow be a new and better day.
And I don't know about you but I can only imagine how much Bush is patting himself on the back for this. His re-election was in grave danger...until now. He just got himself re-elected with this little victory, now didn't he?

I leave you with a link.....forget the footage you will see over and over again for the next few days of Saddam during his medical exam ...where the real happiness comes from is in the cheers of the Iraqi press at the conference announcing his capture. Go watch it, and tell me you don't feel a sense of relief for these people. (thanks to Imshin for the link...you should read her post about all this. it made me giggle in a devilish way)
More links to various reactions, including those of Iraqis, and interestingly, Palestinians, can be found here: The Command Post.

Anyway, moving right along. I'm sure we will all be sick of the Saddam topic as we are beat over the head with it for the next week (or months). Hey, at least it's a break from the Michael Jackson hoopla.

Yesterday was a pretty good day for me. I went and joined a birthday party for my friend's 2 year old daughter. It was a bizarre day as I sat around with a bunch of friends I have know for 10+ years......many of them now married with children. At one point I turned to my friend and said "If you had told me 10 years ago THIS is how it would be...I would never have believed you". She laughed and agreed. Part of what made it so bizarre is that the couples were all shuffled from what they had been all those years ago; my friend's ex-boyfriend was there with his fiance and baby. Their relationship dissolved long ago, yet here they were together and now friends, and with their respective spouses at the party (and their children playing together!!). It seriously melts my brain when I think about it too much. These are the people with who I partied and drank with all those years ago, and here we are going ga-ga over babies. I guess this is growing up. *grin*
I get to play the best role at these events. I am photographer and "Auntie" to all the kids. I adore my friends kids so I take pics all day. And I get to play with them and have fun....and then go home to the quiet sanctity of my own home. LOL! I'm telling you, I have it made.
All in all it was a fantastic time, and great to catch up with some old friends. Really truly great to see them again.

On my way home I called up another friend of mine, Karen, and invited her up to my place for dinner and a movie. I haven't had the chance to really sit down alone with her and talk for quite some time now, and I was in no mood for going out to any of the other parties I was invited to. She too was trying to get out of a party, so we got to use each other as an excuse. Perfect!
We ordered a pizza and talked for hours. We both seem to be in a very simliar "funk" this past week. A strange mix of emotions....resentment/frustration/sadness/anger/apathy/grumpy/directionless. I found some consolation in the fact that she had been feeling very much the same (isn't that the basis of every good friendship? that you find someone who feels the same way you do?). We talked at great length about the evolution of friendships in the last 6 months, and about where we thought we were going in life. We agreed that friendships have taken an increasingly important role in our lives, and that we have come to value them more and more. She has found that her friends have taken on a larger role now that her parents have moved to the east coast, and I found that I have learned, through personal crisis, just who my true friends are, and that I was surprised at who was and who wasn't in the end. It has shaken me up, and I am concerned that I am not as good a judge of character as I might have once believed. How could I have trusted so much in someone, heart and soul, only to have them walk away like that?? Seriously, it makes you wonder what the hell you were thinking.

Eventually we decided to put a movie on and just check out of the dramatic conversation. I think we both felt way better for finally talking about it and finding we were in similar boats, but it was time to cut loose and forget about it. End the night on a positive note. And this is where we made or final error for the evening. Has anyone else seen the film Basic? Let me first preface this rant by saying I will watch almost any movie and think it's good. I'm pretty easy going, and it takes a lot for me to hate a film; I can find good in almost any pile of crap. This film, was not only bad, it was so annoying that it made me angry. It made me want to hunt down the writer and director and ask them what the hell they were doing. Ya know what I like in a good movie? A twist...a little surprise thrown into the mix at the end. Ya know what I hate in a movie? FIVE OR MORE twists. Seriously, you mislead me enough times and I'm just not gonna give a shit anymore. I couldn't even tell you *what* the movie was about by the end of it, and at no point did I find it even a little bit clever. I felt like a sucker for having watched it. (I am not alone in the confusion of this movie. feel free to read the IMDb message board for the movie) I must find some way to pay Princess Blondie back for this....she's the one who loaned that dvd to me.

No matter! Because tonight is a very exciting night. Tonight is the 2 hour finale of Survivor. Princess Blondie, BRUNO, and I will curl up in front of the tv and watch, with glee, as the event unfolds. I can't wait, it's gonna be great.
Meantime, I have a lot of homework to catch up on, I am WAY too behind in my class.

Oh, and I just got off the phone with a friend...he told me to look out my window (I hadn't yet, coz my blinds are closed). IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT!!! FINALLY!!!!!! And it looks like it might even stay (our first few snowfalls always end up melting away). Hurray for snow!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooooo excited. I must go out and play. THEN maybe do some homework. *wink*
WOOT WOOT!!!

 
Yesterday felt like one of the longest days ever. Ever have one of those? It just feels like it goes on and on and on. It started with me taking my grandmother to a doctor's appointment. She lives 2 hours north of here, but she comes down to the city for appointments with specialists. We spent a total of three hours in the doctors office, mostly waiting around and being moved from one waiting room to another (welcome to the Canadian Healthcare System!). This made for a very long day, and an exhausting one for my grandma. And as much as I love and adore her (and I truly do) she can really try my patience in a situation like that. Anyway, we got her set up for cataract surgery in the new year, so she's happy.

After that Princess Blondie and her boyfriend BRUNO and I had chinese food for dinner (thanks guys!!) and we watched Survivor; they couldn't watch it with me on Thursday as is our usual routine, so I taped it so we could watch it together on Friday night instead. :-D We had a total blast, I love spending time with these kids. After watching Survivor we collectively went to Blockbuster to rent a movie to round out the evenings events. We rented the movie Wrong Turn, which wasn't the scariest movie by any means, but you wouldn't know that from watching Princess Blondie freak out. LOL. Bless that girl, I love watching a scary movie with her.....these films were made for people just like her. She jumps at every little thing, it's great.
Good time had by all!

So today I am going to a birthday party for a 2 year old; my best friend from highschool is throwing a party for her two year old, so I'm gonna go and play Auntie and take lots of pics. Should be a blast, we had fun at the birthday party last year. How old do I feel when I'm going to parties for my friends KIDS?? Yikes.

After that I have a house warming party I have been invited to...and I'm not sure if I wanna go or not. Seems like I have nothing better to do tonight (there's a family dinner that I am NOT going to tonight...I despise my dad's side of the family) so I might go to the house warming. However, there's gonna be not one, but TWO ex-boyfriends there (one of them being the host) and am I *really* in the mood for that? I mean we're all friends and everything, but I dunno....
*sigh* We'll see how I feel later. Maybe the birthday party will tucker me out. lol! A group of two year olds running around all afternoon?? I feel tired just thinking about it. We'll see......

 
Do I know how to start the day off right or what?! I got up this morning and went off to the diagnostic centre up the street for an ultrasound. Mmm...is there any better feeling than having cold goop squeezed onto your tummy, followed by having a rock hard transducer jammed into my ribs?? And that's saying nothing of the lovely paper gown I was parading around in. LOL.
Anyway, seems all is fine (*big surprise*) and the doctors still don't know why I have a stomach pain that occasionally puts me in the hospital when it gets really bad. We were looking at my gallbladder this time, as we have before, but found nothing. I was actually pulling for it to be the gallbladder; while I'm not excited by the idea of having problems with my gallbladder, I would like to have a name for my pain. But sadly, all these years later, I still do not. :-/

Moving right along to last night's events (I know si is snooping for details here. lol!). What can I say? We had a great time. :-D I made us a very tasty dinner, if I do say so myself. And Lucky was brave enough to meet my neighbour across the hall, Princess Blondie. And after dinner we curled up on the couch and watched Finding Nemo. How cute was that movie!?
So yeah, we had a fun evening. Hell, I think I might even see this guy a THIRD time, everyone!! This may very well be a new dating record for me; not many guys entertain me long enough to make it to the third date. Hmph. Must be something about this guy, hunh? *wink* Maybe if Lucky is feeling brave he will say a word or two in the comments....heh.

And now I am going to eat because I was forced to starve for 12 hours before this ultrasound. After that I'm gonna lounge a bit and then head out for a haircut. This makes me very happy.

Know what DOESN'T make me happy? Hearing news about mafia-style attempts at assassination in Israel. Seems one tough guy tried to kill another tough guy by blowing him up. Of course they missed the intended target and killed 3 and injured 33 others. Nice job! As if Israelis don't have enough to worry about, now they gotta worry about bombings from their own side? Idiots. Stop fighting amongst each other....there are bigger issues to contend with.

 
I went on a cleaning rampage last night. It started off as a little bit of tidying so I don't frighten Lucky off on what is only our second date, but it turned into me getting very into what I was doing and actually (*gasp*) enjoying the cleaning. I have a special love affair with cleaning products. And I simply *love* the happiness I get from a clean home. I just kinda wander from room to room admiring my clean apartment. It's ridiculous, but I figure it's a healthy obsession. There are worse things to be obsessed about....like....counting how many steps you take, or washing your hands fifty times a day.

I'm not sure what I was thinking by inviting Lucky over for dinner as a second date... I don't wanna mislead the chap into thinking I'm some kinda Kitchen Goddess. I mean I like cooking alright, but I don't make dinner every night. lol. I have always maintained that I would make meals more often if it was more than just me, coz eating alone sucks. As much as I enjoy living alone, I find meals become more of an obstacle or chore. It's sad but true. But when I have company over I get very excited about making food. :-D

Work is seriously impairing my ability to focus on the fun night ahead. I still have some things I want to do at home before he comes over, but I have this pesky meeting with a buyer this afternoon, so it's kinda important that I stick around for that. LOL. Who the hell invented this whole concept of work, anyway??
And my landlord called me to tell me he has a new door knob he wants to install (it's a long story, but Princess Blondie got a new door knob last night coz hers broke, so apparently my landlord feels the need to have mine match since I'm across the hall. weirdo). I said tonight is SO not the night for that. How romantic would it be to have dinner with the landlord installing a new knob on my front door?? LOL Good for a story later, not good for a date.

Should be an interesting evening..... *wink*

 
Okay, first of all I would like to draw attention to a website called Israel 21C, a site that "focuses beyond the conflict". It's a fantastic site that shows how life is in Israel, with everything from human interest stories, to stories about the tv shows there (like the Israeli version of Sesame Street that teaches that Israelis and Arabs can be friends. Or their version of "Big Brother", known in Israel as "Project Y"), to stories about Israel's contributions to the advances in the medical world. I highly recommend this site for those wanting to see Israel in a different light...a light other than the war torn country it is portrayed as in the media. I have put a permanent link to it in my sidebar as well. Please, show it a little support and go visit!

Now then, on with what's going on in my little world (for those still interested! lol). My mood is considerably better today. Princess Blondie and I went out after work yesterday and did a little shopping. It was nice. :-) A little sistah time is always good for the soul. Bitching about life and spending some money really seems to do the trick. LOL. We are a pair of women that are easily made happy.

After our outing we went back to her apartment and had dinner with her boyfriend BRUNO. I say BRUNO in capital letters because in prior entries I have posted I often referred to him as Princess Blondie's "beau". He expressed to me recently that he felt somewhat slighted when reading my blog and found that he had no real name. LOL. I told him that from time to time I had called him Uno, but if he felt like I was leaving him out too much I would start calling him by his name. That name again: BRUNO. Got it? lol
Anyway, BRUNO made a wonderful chicken chowder in the crock pot, and it was deeeelicious!! Hear that ladies? A man who likes to make food! How sweet is that?? Yeah too bad, he's taken, so you can forget about him. :-P THANKS FOR THE DINNER, BRUNO!! It was tasty!

As for me....I am going to try my hand at dinner as well. I have invited Lucky over for dinner tomorrow night, so I'm going to do my best not to poison him. That would make for a lousy second date, now wouldn't it? lol Lucky...you're a brave man!
I think just to be sure the date goes well, I'll include potatoes on the menu...I hear dem Irish like da potaties! :-P (I oughtta know!) Any other suggestions?

In local news, there was an incident at the Uptown theatre yesterday. The Uptown was an old theatre built in Toronto in 1920, originally used for stage shows, but later used as a cinema, and a mainstay for the Toronto Film Festival (the second largest film festival, I might add!). It was a gorgeous old theatre, and I am particularly sad that it was set for demolition as I saw the very last film shown there; it was the last night of the Toronto Film Festival in September, and also my birthday. It made it a doubly special occasion, and the audience in the theatre that night was very somber as we knew this would be the last film ever shown in that theatre.
Anyway, despite attempts to stop it from being demolished, demolition began and yesterday a terrible accident took place on site; a wall from the Uptown collapsed and killed one man, and injured 15 others, many of them children. The wall fell through the roof of a school next door, caving it in, and trapping many. I was stunned when I clicked on CNN.com yesterday and found it splashed across the main page. The families of the victims are in my thougts and prayers today; it's a sad accident that didn't need to happen. An investigation is of course underway.

In other news there was a murder overnight, just down the street from me. When I drove by this morning on my way to work there were police cars *everywhere* and they had the whole street taped off. I had to take an alternate route around it. Oh the drama! I feel terrible for this family as well....this will make for rough holidays this season for them. It seems that a 17 year old boy stabbed his father (or some other relation in the family, they aren't specifying at this time). They found the man dead on the sidewalk. *sigh* So sad.

It's stuff like this, right in my own neighbourhood, that helps to remind me that hey...my life isn't so bad.

 
I am in some strange emotional state today. Absolutely everything is making me cry (and no, it's not PMS, thank you very much!). I've been trying to figure out just what the problem is, and I don' think I know for sure. I think part of it has to do with last weeks events; I finally had time to stop and process it over the weekend, and it's bothering me. And with that, I am sad that it has shown once again that I can no longer rely on someone whom I believed was a friend once upon a time.

And I think this simple little date I went on has me examining a few things in my life. This is the first time in a very long time where someone has piqued my interest enough to have me wonder "what if"? I'm not explaining it very well, but I guess my point is that when new doors open others must close. And between this and the crisis last week, the door has been closed and now sealed on an old friendship. And without full closure on the matter, I'm having a hard time letting go.

For some reason this is has me now reflecting on my trip to Israel in June. The trip, without going into detail (to protect the other parties involved) didn't go very well. I have a sea of regrets and have more bad memories of it than good. This makes me deeply sad. And now I am worried that the trip will leave a sour taste in my mouth for a country that I love very much.
I was speaking online to a good friend of mine in Israel, and telling him about how badly I want to go back and do the trip right. And about how one of my greatest regrets was not taking the time to see him when I was there (we have talked online and on the phone for a year now). He was instrumental in helping me deal with my friend moving there, and I would love the opportunity to finally meet him.
So now I am a little on the bitter side that I wasted opportunities while I was there. I am angry that I have mixed feelings about Israel, and I am most of all angry that I cannot financially afford to go back and make it right for myself. They say that money doesn't make the world go round, but it's sure stopping me from going around the world. I am dying to go back to israel, but it's just not in the cards....not for a very long while.

Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and I'm feeling sorry for myself. Pity parties are an easy trap to fall into, so I had better pull myself together. Princess Blondie has been an angel and offered to do girlie stuff to help me chill out a bit, so we might do something after work. And Lucky has been a sweet fella, checkin' up on me and sending me an e-mail that brought a smile to my miserable face. He's a good lad.

And hey, I'm glad you're all excited about me going on a date! LOL! Almost as excited as my mom....I think she was resolved to having a spinster for a daughter; 40 cats, but no children. No pressure on Lucky and I at ALL...lol! *wink*
*grin* You don't always get what you want....sometimes you get what you need. :-)

 
I don't know about you, but I find it can be mighty hard to keep the faith that things will work out when you are in the middle of a crisis. This past week has been an intensely emotional one for me, as most of you know and have been reading. And as is the case with any crisis you really start to see who your friends are, which can sometimes be a painful lesson on one hand, but a wonderful one on the other.

And at the end of the week when I felt like all I wanted to do was crawl into a cave and disappear for a while I got a text message from my friend in England; the day after the funeral my friend had her baby boy. Just as one life drew to an end another began. I was so happy to get some good news that I actually cried....and I don't think I have ever cried happy tears at the news of a birth before. lol. But I was grateful that mother and son were well, and the timing couldn't have been better. (a big hug and mazel tov to the family!)

Then came Saturday. I spent the day doing absolutely nothing and just enjoying the slow pace of a day off. In the evening, I went out on a date. As I said, I'm not much of a keener when it comes to dating, but I found a fellow who has intrigued me. We met up and had a wonderful night filled with good food at Alice Fazooli's (the poor waitress was forced to listen to me go on and on about how good my food was), and then some fun and frolic at Playdium (an arcade of sorts), and finished off with a movie (Timeline). All I can say is that I had an awesome time....I can't remember when I've had so much fun on a date; it's been a long time, kiddies. lol. Who'da thunk it possible?? *grin*

Stay tuned, I might just give the Irish lad another date.....whattya say Lucky? :-P
(and once my arm has recovered, prepare to have your ass whipped again in another rousing round of air hockey)
BOOYAH!

In the meantime I am going to round out my weekend with more time well spent among my friends; 6 of us are heading out to stuff our faces with sushi. MMMMMMM!!!! A perfect end to a most excellent weekend. :-D

 
This will be the last I talk of this funeral. I don't want to wallow in it any longer.....it's time to close the book and begin the healing. The funeral was more difficult than I expected, and I am most certainly glad it is over. Every time I attend a family funeral I lose yet another piece of myself. I mourn for the person that has left us and for that lost piece that I will never gain back. As I stated, I have a very small family, so each loss hits us hard.
Going to back to my hometown fills me with an odd assortment of feelings, most not altogether good. I am in no hurry to return there for the next funeral.
I would like once again to thank you all for your fabulous words of support. When others let me down this week you were there for me. Your words and sentiments touched me deeply. Thank you very much. Toda Raba.
Let us close this chapter and move on.

In Israeli news, it seems that a Canadian is being held and interrogated in Israel. This Canadian is a Palestinian-born immigrant who had been trained by Hamas in the Gaza strip. His intention was to carry out terrorist attacks in Canada against Jewish and Israeli targets. This has me more than a little concerned. One of the (many) differences between attacking Jews in Canada and attacking Jews in Israel is that we are certainly not prepared for such a thing. We live under this false sense of security believing we won't be a target, that it won't happen here. Oh no? The fact that we are unprepared for such an event makes us a very easy target indeed. It's much harder to protect the second largest country in the world with a population of 30 million than it is a tiny country with a population of 6 million. We cannot implement the same measures Israel does, and this leaves us very vulnerable to an attack. I have a decidely uncomfortable feeling about this situation since Toronto has one of the largest Jewish populations outside of Israel. Our targets are obvious and not at all protected. How do I know I wouldn't be attacked leaving my Hebrew class on a Tueday night?
This has been a very interesting eye opener for Canada....but will anything change? We shall see. Right now there is bickering about mistreatment of this prisoner. I'm trying to muster sympathy......but I'm having a hard time.

Moving on then, I'm trying to find a way to pull myself out of this grumpy mood I'm in. I have had the worst sleep this week, with it really hitting it's climax last night/this morning. I have had nothing but nightmares all night, filling me with great anxiety today. I have to keep telling myself they were only dreams.....
And I have a date tonight. Take note coz this doesn't happen too often. LOL. The lucky chap has been doing his homework and reading this blog all week. I'll test him tonight. }:-) I feel a bit guilty that our first date comes on the tail of a craptacularly bad week for me, and I hope I can pull a good mood off for him. Wouldn't exactly be fair if I was moping, now would it? It's ok, I think this will be just the distraction I need. :-)

 
The funeral is today.
I couldn't really sleep so now I'm just trying to kill some time before I leave. I'm really anxious about this funeral for some reason; it's odd since I've been to so many. *sigh*
I just want this day over with.
:'-(

 
I just want to remind everyone, especially those who believe it's not possible, that there ARE Palestinians that DO want peace and ARE doing something to promote that. In this article: A Palestinian alerts IDF to bomb threat.
Good for him, I wish I could personally thank him. If only more Palestinians felt compelled to step forward.

 
I think it would be best if I don't post anymore until after the funeral. I'll only blab about nonsense and whine and complain, so it's probably better if I kept it to myself, hm? I have just spent an hour going through a large box of old pictures trying to find a few to take to the funeral. This is quite possibly one of the worst ideas I've ever come up with. Bah. Nice job, now I'm so depressed I could throw myself off a cliff. lol. Too many pictures of people I've lost. :-(

Anyway, I'd like to thank those who have shown me some lovin'. I think deep down I was hoping to see some from someone who once had a pretty amazing way of comforting me...but instead I got it from complete strangers. I really should have known better than to have secretly hoped or counted on that person, and I really should have trusted more in you guys. I am eternally grateful that you had such kinds words to offer.

Funeral is on Thursday, and then maybe after that I can get back to my usual happy broadcasting. ;-)

"All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
Peace in the struggle
to find peace
comfort on the way
to comfort
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love"
- Sarah McLachlan

 
Okay I'm really starting to annoy myself. All I'm doing is crying, and this isn't exactly productive. I think I'm just being overly dramatic because I've only had 1.5 hours of sleep. However, if I can't think of anything intelligent to say/post soon, I may suspend my blogging for the rest of the week.
Meanwhile I am going to go to work to try and get my mind off all this.
At least it snowed overnight. :-)

 
It's after 4am and I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning all friggin night, and have finally decided to just get up. This really sucks. I even took half a sleeping pill to try and stop thinking about funeral arrangements and to get some rest, but my brain refuses to shut off.
And then I come on here and read all the wonderfully kind comments you guys left for me, and I start crying all over again. LOL. You guys are the sweetest, thank you very much.

Truly, I am a sight to behold right now. When I got up I decided I was hungry so on my way to my computer I grabbed a bag of baby carrots (these babies are already peeled!). So here I am sitting in my t-shirt and panties, sobbing and munching on carrots. ROFL!! VERY attractive indeed.
*sigh*

Oh, and I called my grandmother to check up on her. She sounded terrible on the phone and it was obvious she had been crying. She's trying to sound strong but she's clearly a mess. I asked (several times) if she wanted me to come up and keep her company, but she said no she wanted "to be stomp around and be misery all by herself". :-( I'm not happy with that answer, but what can I say? She's a stubborn woman, and I sure don't wanna drive 2 hours up there just to have her be livid with me for interferring. I tend to respect her wishes, as I know everyone grieves differently. Hell, I prefer to be alone too (or do I?).

ANYway......

I'm gonna go watch some tv. Thanks again you guys, your words mean the world to me right now. ((HUGS))

UPDATE: it's just after 5:30am, and I have eaten about half a pound of baby carrots and a *giant* bowl of chocolate pudding. I'd say the grieving process is going swimmingly, wouldn't you?? lol And who programs these early morning tv shows??? I can find nothing but infomercials and religious programs. Perhaps if I keep watching them they will bore me to sleep. lol.

UPDATE #2: 6am. Screw going back to sleep, I've found Martha Stewart, and she and some chap are teaching me how to make a tasty halibut dish. Man alive, does it look good!
(I just looked up this episode in the tv guide and the synopsis is this: 'A man searches for a Ukrainian woman who saved his grandfather from Nazis; baked brie.' ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Hmph. Just now I suddenly felt bad for laughing at a time when I should be (and am) sad. Life sucks that way sometimes.

 
I just got a call from my mother; we have a funeral to go to this week. We have lost another member of my already dwindling family. I am sad and have a very heavy heart.....and I am dreading going back home. The only reason I ever go back to my "home town" is for funerals, which unfortunately tends to be a few times a year (my family isn't of the strongest stock it would seem). I get the creeps when I go back there now, and it takes it's toll on me for days.

Mostly I am worried about my grandmother. She is apparently taking it quite badly, and my mother and I have been discussing if one of us should drive up to her (she lives 2 hours north of us). The answer would seem like an obvious yes, but my grandma is a tough old bat, and likes to grieve privately. I'll call her in a bit to check on her and see if she wants me to go up.

Meantime I think I'll go have myself a little cry.
:'-(

(remember my little rant about how it'd be nice to have a best friend to lean on? Yeah, now would be one of those times. :-( Oh well. Props to my friend Melra for trying to cheer me up when she called and found me unhappy. I think we'll just chock this up as one of those things I don't really talk about. sorry bud, sometimes that's just the way I am.)

 
Yesterday Princess Blondie and I went to a dance performance in a little tiny theatre in downtown Toronto (in the Distillery Historic District). We went to see a dance group called Aurora Dance perform, as a friend of Princess Blondie's had choreographed some of the work that would be shown. It is for this reason that I went, as it is normally NOT my cup of tea. I also thought it would be something new to experience on a lovely Sunday afternoon; why not, right?

Now.....I don't pretend to know much about dance, because I certainly don't. I had attempted dance lessons as a child, but as my mother later reviewed, I had the grace of an elephant. And I had no idea exactly what kind of dance I'd be going to see, but I'm game for anything once.

First of all, this was a really cool area of Toronto that I had never spent any time in before. It was an area closed off to cars where you just sort of walked up and down these cobble streets and saw galleries and studios and little quaint shops. Cool stuff. To me, the trip was worth it for that alone.
Then we headed up into the building that had the theatre, which was also pretty nifty. All these old warehouses and distilleries had been turned into useful living/working spaces, like large lofts. The theatre we went into was small, with only 4 rows of seating (I would guess about 100 in total, maybe a bit more). This made for an interesting environment for a theatre because you sat only about 10 - 15 feet (3 - 4.5 meters) away from the performers. You could hear their breathing and see every ripple of their clothing. It was an odd experience, actually. Am I supposed to be able to hear their barefeet squeak as they turn and dance, I thought? lol

Anyway, I'm not sure I have the appreciation of the art to really give it the full review it deserves, but from my standpoint it was still a fascinating show. You can't help but be impressed by the incredible shape these dancers are in...athletes, to be sure. Hard sinewy bodies that made me just stare in awe of their very well defined muscles. They have worked very hard to get where they are, and for that I have great respect. And they even managed to make running around and throwing themselves on the ground (and rolling) look kinda artistic (like I said, this isn't normally my thing. lol).

What can I saw, I had a VERY busy and interesting weekend.
And now the week begins again, and it's off to a rough start. I seem to be painfully clumsy today...dropping stuff left and right. And more forgetful than usual if that's even possible. I got on the highway this morning, heading to work, when I forgot the chili I said I was bringing into work for lunch. Wouldn't be such a big deal if it was just for me, but I said I'd feed everyone (there's lots of chili) so there's more than just my mouth to feed. So I had to turn around and go back home to get it. It's safe to say I was quite late for work this morning.

Snow is forecasted for today and I couldn't be more excited. I want a blizzard. A BIG ONE. I love it when we get big storms, it's so exciting. It was snowing a bit this morning, but it was just kinda blowing around and melting...not much is actually staying on the ground. I want lots of it! Big piles of it!
Come on I DARE YA TO SNOW!!!!!!!! bwah ha ha!!!!

 
Sometimes I think that I am having the best years of my life. It's taken a lot to get to this realization, but I have developed the ability to step back from my life and see all that I have, and be grateful for it. :-)

Friday night I got together with my "Gang of Friends" for a birthday dinner. I call it my Gang of Friends because we are really a lot like a larger cast of the tv show Friends. By that I mean, we have a long history together (we have all been friends for about 15 years) and therefore an incredibly wonderful comfort level. The guys in this group are all like my brothers, and the girls my sisters. We talk, we laugh, we recall the old days, and make plans for the future. Just think about how amazing it is that 12 people have all managed to stay friends for that long! (and there's usually more of us, some of us just couldn't make it) It's amazing that we haven't lost touch, and that we can get everyone together in the same place. I am in awe of it everytime, and it's that kind of effort that keeps us together.

On this particular evening one of the guys decided he would have us over to his home and he would make dinner for all of us (yes ladies, the man can cook. and it was deeeelicious!). The food was amazing, and the company was top notch. I just sat there all night with a big, dumb, happy grin on my face. I can't tell you how much I love this group of friends. We have grown up together and seen each other through the tough and awkward times in highschool, through getting married and having children, and in some sad cases, burying a parent. In my life I have a very small family, so friends have always played an extremely vital role in my life, as they become my extended family. That is why I put everything into a friendship, and offer undying loyalty (and expect the same of them). These are my true friends who have never once let me down, nor I them.
Anyway, good times, good friends, good food, and as always, we played some cards. LOL.

Then on Saturday Princess Blondie and I (and a few others) went to the Whole Life Expo in downtown Toronto. It was pretty entertaining and educational fun. Lots of herbal remedies, lotions, potions, and organic food. It always amuses me to see all the different things people are peddling as "cure alls" for whatever ails you. For real kicks Princess Blondie and I saddled up to the Oxygen Bar to get us some oxygen. Let me just tell ya, we looked pretty sexy with the oxygen tubes running up our noses. LOL. It was interesting, but not something I would really opt to do on a regular basis. Kinda made me dizzy at first, and then gave me a sharp headache, and then I was fine. An odd assortment of reactions....

Then I spent a long time with the guys of Barefoot Science as they tried to convince me I wanted these foam inserts in my shoes. After trying them on I told them there was no way I would ever put those things in, and was happy to have my boot back to normal. lol. But still, I must have sat and laughed it up with them for like, 20 minutes. They were really funny and super nice to talk to. That's what I love about this show...talking to different people and hearing different ideas and opinions. It's good for ya! :-) Except for the annoying lady who was trying to tell me that burning candles was all toxic for me unless I burned her beeswax candles. That may well be true, but I hate people who get preachy or launch into lectures and make it seem like they are better than me. tsk. There'll be none of that, thank you very much.

After that the gang went to The Fish House for lunch and it was goooooood! I had grilled catfish with garlic mashed potatoes and veggies. And Crème Brulée for dessert. MMM-mmmm! Food is good.

So there you have it...it's been a busy and happy weekend for me. Today I'm trying to slow things down a bit and spend some time tidying my apartment, and maybe do some homework. This morning I walked across the hall to Princess Blondie's place and sat and had tea with her and her beau and her beau's sister. It was nice, we just sorta hung out and talked about how noisy the drunken neighbours upstairs were last night. Idiots.
Later on we're all going to some dance....thing. Recital? Performance? Show? I dunno, it's something a friend of Blondie's is putting on, so we're gonna go check it out.
And then maybe later tonight I can actually settle down to my cleaning and homework. lol. It's not going well so far.
Hope everyone had a good weekend! :-D

 
May I just say that if only it was colder, we would have one awesome snow storm right now!! But unfortunately it isn't, so it's pouring buckets and buckets of rain, making the drive into work long, and tension filled. Tis a grey day which kinda sucks coz one of my bestest friends is celebrating her birthday today. I called her up and left a birthday song on her voicemail at work so she would have it when she went in this morning. Tonight we're all heading downtown for a big dinner with our gang of friends; I'm looking forward to it, it should be a blast. :-D

Last night I went over to hang out with a friend I haven't seen in a few weeks. Julia is a friend of mine who has moved here to Canada from Israel about 4 -5 months ago. A friendship was spawned when I was looking for someone to help me with my Hebrew, and she was looking for someone to help her with her English. We hit it off right away, and get together and talk for hours and hours on end. :-) Last night was pretty funny as I was explaining some stuff in English, and she in Hebrew, and by the end the two of us were just pretty much cursing each others languages. LOL.
All I know is I've got a lot to learn and I don't know if I have the time and patience. LOL

Also when I hang out with her we always end up talking about Israel. Lots and lots. Sometimes it depresses me, coz this is now my second friend in a year that I have met who has moved here from Israel, and when I talk to them about their reasons, it makes me worry about the country. Both friends (from last year and this year) tried their best to carve out a living for themselves in Israel (both Julia and her husband are *very* well educated) but the economy and political system is such a mess that they were finally forced to give up and go somewhere else in order to realize their dreams. In talking to these two separate friends I have had an opportunity to get interestingly different points of view, but the answers, sadly, have been the same.

The first friend ("Gnat", now living in England) was born and raised in Israel, calling it home for the first 30 years of her life. She finally left for Canada with her husband and son because the economics of Israel were preventing them from ever getting ahead, and thwarting their dreams of ever owning a home. So they came here. And while they loved Canada immensely, they found it was too far from family in Israel, so they moved to England. Gnat has said flat out "I will never move back to Israel". That, I think, says a LOT.

Julia was an immigrant to Israel and lived there for over ten years. She had to learn the language and adapt to the culture. Eventually she met and married her husband, and had a daughter. They too left largely due to the economy of Israel. She spoke to me of a political system that only pretends to serve the people, and an overall attitude of not caring (especially in terms of voting). Do I need to point out how many strikes go on in Israel on a regular basis bringing the country to a standstill, and crippling an already ailing economy? While the bond within the Israelis (to each other and to the country) is strong and wonderful, the system is crumbling. She says she now feels very comfortable in Canada, like she has been here a year already, and has made many friends. I for one, am thrilled she came here. :-)

All this worries me because I have people in Israel I care about and who are struggling to make a life for themselves there. What's to become of them and all the others? Israel and it's inhabitants are highly misunderstood which does nothing to help their situation. And with no end in sight in terms of the Palestinian conflict, I worry about the future of Israel.

Israel has survived this long, and I have faith that it will continue to do so. But getting by is not enough. I want it to grow, prosper and flourish. I want my friends there to be happy and do well for themselves, and build a long meaningful life there. I want the Palestinians to have a future too, they deserve it as much as anyone else (I know that will spark a hot debate, but I want people to remember that not every Palestinian out there wants war). And I find it incredibly unfortunate that a group of angry Palestinians have turned to terrorism to try and get what they want, making the rest of the Palestinians, who want peace, look bad.
*sigh*

If you are interested in learning more, please check out my links in the Israel section of my sidebar.
Recommended blogs: Gil, Rinat, Imshin, Allison, Smooth Stone, Israellycool, Lorien, Meryl, Solomonia, Israpundit and Havdala. (if you know of any others, please feel free to share)

Thanks for listening to me rant!

 
Do you know who I simply adore? my buddy-ole-pal across the hall at home, my Survivor pal, my confidante and friend, and my beloved Avon lady....Princess Blondie. Ever since she and her beau moved into my building I have been a very happy camper. They have been an awesome addition to my life, and I just thought I'd put up a pic of her (at her best! lol) so that you had a face to the name, since I talk about her almost every other post. lol
Now you can see why this girl makes me laugh. Coz she is friggin' HILARIOUS is why! lol

 
First of all, I'd like to wish my American readers a Happy Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed mine this year, and I hope you do too. Safe travels to you and your family, and happy turkey eating. For an amusing spin on the matter, I suggest you pop over to Michele's site; she's dispensing "helpful" Thanksgiving advice. If you have a question or concern, let her help you out in her own special way. LOL.

As for me, I'm in a pretty agreeable mood so far today (of course I haven't gone into work yet, but let's try and be optimistic). I had a good night last night over at Princess Blondie's place, watching Survivor with her and her beau. I don't know WHAT it is about the show this year but I am way into it. I couldn't have given half a shit about the last 5 seasons (I watched the first one, I admit) but I sure got sucked into it bigtime this season. Anyway, Princess Blondie, still feeling slighted after last week's upset, tried to ignore the show and was reading her book off and on throughout. lol. You can't ignore it, try as you may, missy!!

Anyway, I woke up this morning troubled by a dream I had about my grandmother. I'm going to have to give her a call before I head to work and check up on her. I know, that sounds silly, but I unfortunately tend to put a lot of stock into my dreams. Sometimes it's better to just play it safe, ya know? Besides, gives me a good excuse to call her. :-)

Yesterday I called up a friend of mine, whose brother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer (I mentioned this before) to check up on her and her brother, and make sure she's holding up. We did the polite dance around the subject, talking mostly factually about it all, glossing over the emotions of it. Sounds cold, I know, but it's how people get through the hard times of cancer. You deal with facts because THAT you can more or less wrap your head around. She said he is getting chemotherapy every two weeks. I asked for how long, and she said "well....forever and ever". His cancer, as I said is terminal, but they are doing their best to buy him some time. I said nothing. I understand the need to hold on to hope, but I myself wouldn't put up the fight. Not if I'm going to be bed ridden my last months on earth. She says he sleeps a lot now, and spends a week with her and then a week with her parents. She has stopped after three weeks of hysterical crying about it all, and is beginning to come to terms with it. I told her I was here, as always, if there is anything I could do. I only wish there was. :-(

See what I meant in my previous post about quality time over quantity? It's a tough call, to be sure. And just because I wouldn't choose the treatment doesn't mean I don't understand and agree with someone who IS willing to try. I don't think anyone really knows until they are in that situation, and I don't think there is one answer for anyone. But I have seen the tail-end of cancer too many times to know what it looks like when you do heavy treatments. And I, unfortunately, have a bit of a pessimistic streak since no one in my family has survived cancer. I watch tv shows where they bring on all these wonderful people who have fought and survived cancer and always wonder how the hell THEY did it, and no one in my family did. I think we're cursed. lol.
So yeah, you got my view (and I'd still like your input, so go comment in my previous post). If things were grim, I would rather enjoy what time I have left. And in fact, I might just choose not to tell a soul I was sick, if that were the case. I'd rather laugh than cry, and I'd want the same for my friends and family. ;-)

That being said (sorry to be such a downer folks), I once again wish a Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating. And to those that aren't, I still encourage you to find a few things to be grateful for today. Maybe start with your health. *wink*

 
Let me pose a hypothetical situation to you, my fine audience, and see what your thoughts are on the matter.

Let's say.....that...you found out you had a terrible disease of some sort and you were told you had a limited amount of time to live (cheery thought, I know, but stay with me here. it's a game of "what if"). K? Now then, the doctors tell you they have a treatment that may buy you some extra time, but it will (in all likeliness) make you very sick. Either way, your time is still limited, it's just a matter of how much extra time you can buy.

So. Do you take the treatment and take the chances that your last days are terrible because you are sick all the time, and can barely muster the energy to move (but hey you might get another month or longer on this planet, even if you're watching it from your bed!)?
Or.
Do you decide to live out your last months in relative health, opting to live out quality days with friends and family, essentially choosing quality of time over quantity of time. Maybe travel and see the world, or follow other dreams you had never gotten around to doing (but ya can't do it if you're sick from the treatment!).

Which would you choose?

Now let me ask you this......as a third possibilty would you consider not even telling anyone? Would you consider not telling your friends and family, and instead elect to try and lead a normal life for as long as possible (and thereby sparing your friends and family the dread of knowing what's to come)?
What if you had the option to not know for sure to begin with? Would you want to know? What if you were the type of person who wouldn't take the treatment anyway? Would there be a point to knowing?

This is all tricky stuff. Hypothetical stuff like this is good....get's ya thinking about stuff a bit. ;-)
And maybe make you Thankful for what you DO have, hm? It's always said that you should live each day like it's your last... so how would you live it? Would you go and make amends with people? Why would it take something like that to get you to do it? Would you finally take that trip? Would you surprise someone and tell them you love them? Or would you keep it as your little secret?

What're your thoughts, folks? (and I realize I ask this at a time when many of my readers are gonna be off eating Turkey......damnit...bad timing. Oh well.)

 
I can't remember when I've been this grumpy. It's been months. Grrr...I hate it. It's so energy draining. I cancelled my plans for tonight so I wouldn't have to subject my friend to my mood, and so I could stew in it right proper. LOL. I think my parents are going to drive me out my mind. I'm telling you, they make me want to flee the country. Where shall I go? I think we Canadians can get into England and Australia pretty easily... Hm. The Irish in me calls to Ireland. Then again, Israel is a gorgeous country (yes it is! get all that bad imagery of bombs out of your head!), but I would miss the winter. I know that sounds crazy, but I would. So I guess that puts Australia out too. I need snow, I can't have it warm all year round. Why must my parents make me so grumpy that I actually seriously consider crap like this? *sigh*

Let's talk about something else. Like my class last night. It was my last class until the new year. This makes me sad coz I truly adore my teacher and have become quite fond of my classmates as well. That and I am afraid I'm going to forget everything I have learned during the break. That would be bad. I told my teacher I wanted her to pile on the homework for me to do during the break (there's that browner thing I mentioned. lol). She loaned me a second textbook and showed me what I could do to get ahead. And she's going to sneak me into her advance class when classes resume, so after my class I'll stay afterwards and sit in on her next class. Hurray! This makes me happy.
Anyone wanna help me with my homework? Can ya speak Hebrew? :-/ No? Drat.

Know what I did last night? I went crazy-obsessive about cleaning my keyboard. At like, 12:30am I decided I needed to take my keyboard into my bathroom and use my hairdryer to blow out all the crap between the keys (I only WISH I had a can of air!) and then I spent..I have no idea how long....15? 20 minutes? cleaning between the keys with alcohol and q-tips. How nutty is that?? What can I say, I LOVE my keyboard and mouse (which yes, also got a cleaning) as I had been noticing the two year build up of filth on them so it was cleanup time. lol
I can't believe I just admitted to that.

Anyway, my pizza just arrived, and Survivor is on tonight. Since Princess Blondie has washed her hands of the show in light of last week's vote, her boyfriend is coming over to my apartment to watch it tonight (I usually go over to theirs). She won't watch it now, so it's just us. LOL
Mmm....pizza and tv.....

 
Omg, I have wasted FAR too much time today making changes to my blog. Bloody hell. Maybe it's because I don't know what I'm doing, so at one point I had the thing in complete shambles as I was feverishly writing and rewriting html code. I thought my brain was going to melt, and panic (and frustration) was seriously beginning to set in.

The problem is that I am an insane perfectionist. I have overlooked a few things on my blog that bugged me, but today, for whatever reason, I just coudn't let them go. So I mucked with my links and set up a news section. I am now an affiliate with CBC News. I have no idea if this means I have sold my soul to the devil or what, but I thought it would be something new and interesting to look at. Please let me know if it slows down your page load too much, and if such is the case with enough people I will remove it. I just thought it might be nice for some of you to see how Canada reports the news. Open your mind a little and see how we see the world. :-) It's updated frequently throughout the day, and just so you don't get bored of Canadian news (I admit, things can get a little dry up here) I put the "world news" section first. K? So let me know what you think.

And now I am going to friggin' well get some work done. Talk about panic....I haven't done any work today, and I really needed to as I have deadline as of yesterday that I am missing. And I have homework to do before class tonight. Crap. AND I gotta go to the dentist, which pretty much ices the cake on how my day is going. *groan*
As it is I am resisting doing more things to my blog. Must...stop...tinkering!! What the hell has gotten into me today?!

As a final note my nerd friends and I are desperately trying to get tickets to the Lord of The Rings Marathon. The theatres in the area (and I think much of the U.S.A.) are hosting a marathon of all three movies on December 16th. It runs from 1:30pm to about 1am. How crazy will that be?? Eeeek!! I am dying to do this movie marathon with my buddies!! We are hitting a few snags, in that the two theatres closest to us are ALREADY sold out, if you can friggin' believe it (the tickets are something like $50). So we're trying to get tickets to a theatre a little farther away. *fingers crossed*
Here's hoping.

 
Ya know what? Sometimes I'm just silly.
I just went out with my friend Melra and had a friggin' wicked time, making me wonder...what the hell am I ranting about with the 'I don't have a best friend'? Ok, like, I don't call her my best friend because I'm 'best friend scared' at the moment (and frankly I don't want to scare her off with a title like that. lol), but damn if she doesn't fit the profile for this past year. We've grown extremely close (we've been friends off and on since highschool, a period of time that now seems like a lifetime ago) and she is just the best person to rant and rave to. We get together under the pretense of coffee, but really we're just picking a spot to get together to talk for like, 3 or 4 hours.

Tonight I unloaded and bitched about my recent family woes. I am not exactly in my family's good grace right now, and probably really haven't been for a long time (and who knows if I ever will be again). So this is depressing me a bit coz if you don't have your family, who do you have? So it's crap like this that gets to me and makes me want to do something nutty like move to another country knowing full well I could never possibly "make it" (I have a nice apartment and car now, but sometimes money can be tight).
Anyway, I got to rant to Melra and then she got to rant a bit back, and we swapped stories, and then I walked out of that pub feeling like I was ten feet tall and bullet proof. I love it. I love what a good friend can do for you, ya know?
I have had some really good friends come to the forefront lately (like Melra and Princess Blondie) and it's made me believe in friendships again, at a time when I'm feeling like no one can be trusted. LOL

Hurray for friends. Now I'm happy again. :-D
Sometimes we just gotta look at what we have, not what we don't have.....

 
I just did a serious bonehead move and erased an entry I was working on. The "funny" part about it was that I was attempting to copy the entry and paste it somewhere else so I wouldn't lose it. Ironic isn't it? Just friggin' HILARIOUS, isn't it? *sigh* I highlighted the whole entry and then right clicked. Only instead of clicking "copy" I clicked "paste" and put in a link to something I was posting about, causing the entire post to be replaced by one little link.

In an effort to calm down I am now going to go meet my friend Melra for a coffee. I *could* blame her since she interrupted my blogging by calling me and inviting me out, thereby causing me to stop mid-post to meet her.....
But that would just be silly, and desperate. It ain't'a gonna bring my post back.
and DAMNIT it was good too. grumblegrumble, fragga shmagga.

Melra will raise my mood, however, and the I will come back and take another stab at it.
Damn you all to hell Blogger, you will cause me certain insanity.

 
Last night I eventually blew my "I'm going to do nothing all day" mentality, and did some homework for school. But I enjoy doing my homework for this class, so I don't count that. I guess that's the thing with going back to school as an adult...you're there coz you want to be, and it changes the whole outlook and experience of it. I'm loving it. :-D

Today has been pretty good too. It's a *gorgeous* warm sunny day here in Toronto. We're all wondering what is going on with the weather gods, what with temperatures topping 15C (59F) today. It was too nice to stay inside so I went for a walk. I took a stroll up Yonge St. to check out the little shops along the way. I also passed a park called Ransom Park. Yikes, hardly seems like an inviting name for a pretty little park, now does it?? LOL.
The used book store I wanted to check out was closed for some reason, much to my chagrin. I have finished the book I was reading, Holes, and have been shopping around for what I'd like to read next. I'm open to suggestions from y'all.

Walking along I saw a new store that had just opened up, claiming to be a Mediterranean food store/restaurant. Well I just had to go in, now didn't I? I had seen some advertisements the owner had put up on some hydro poles, so I thought I'd stop in and show a little support for a new store. I'm a firm believer in supporting local businesses.

It had about what I expected..some imported foods from various Arab countries, and I grinned as I looked over all the foreign food. I love this kinda stuff, I really do. I chatted it up with the guy a bit, telling him I had seen his sign (wanted to let him know his efforts were paying off) and asked him how long he had been open. Only two weeks, he said. I walked around looking for something to buy...it was hard being the only one in this tiny little store; I knew he was watching me the whole time. lol. We Jews get nervous when an Arab is watching us that closely!! (rofl. I'm kidding folks, don't get your shorts in a bunch)
Anyway, I wandered over to the fridge to see what beverages he had. He noticed me looking at the drinks and came over to tell me that the ones I was looking at were from Turkey. Really?? says I. So I grabbed me a couple of the Turkish pops/soda called Uludag Gazoz. They looked pretty tasty. One is an orange flavour pop, and one is some ambiguous "fruit flavour", but looks like it will be a lemon/lime drink.

This made me happy. Happy to try the drinks, happy to show this guy some business, and happy in some crazy way to support Turkey a little. I know, that sounds crazy, but buying products is one way to support a country so I'm doin' it for Turkey. Did you know Turkey was the first Muslim country to acknowledge the state of Israel? Turkey and Israel have very good relations indeed, and the Jews and Muslims there live well together. And after the recent bombing I think Turkey has done very well to handle the situation. It was a horrible loss for everyone.

Anyway, I also bought some dried red lentils he had in bulk bins. I can always use more of those. As I was paying at the counter my wallet sort of fell open as I was digging for change and his eye caught sight of a sticker I had in there; it's a Canadian and Israeli flag sort of super-imposed over one another (looks pretty damn cool, actually). In an effort to ascertain my heritage he sort of fumbled for a minute and then asked "So... do you live around here?". Well chosen words, my friend. I gave him a big smile and said yes, I live just down the street, and that I'm sure I'll be back in again soon. ;-)

So after my Turkey drink purchase I have come home to sample the beverage and tend to my stew (the orange drink is VERY good, I might add!! Mm-mm!). Earlier today I had groceries delivered to my house, so I was able to make some real food. With Si's vote for stew, I went with that as my dinner of choice. In an effort to ease recent tensions with the parental units, I have invited my mother and father over for dinner. *sigh* I hope I don't live to regret that one.

Have I mentioned that I have found out my mother has been on my blog a few times? Yes, I keep a close eye on my visitors and I began to notice that MY ip address from work was coming up....when I wasn't there. My mother had been using my computer at work and "tripped across" my blog. I think we all know how catastrophic this can be.
I said to her "look, it's a public blog, I can't stop you from going on there. But you never snooped and read my diary when I was living at home, why would you want to read it now? it's public, but at the same time it's personal". She wasn't getting it. She felt slighted because she thought all my other friends were reading it, to which I explained that no one I know (in real life) really reads it. I have had friends ask for the address and I haven't given it because it might alter how or what I post. There's something therapeutic about ranting to an anonymous audience. She kinda didn't say much after that. Neither did I. I was pissed off. In fact it's pissing me off now just thinking about it. LOL
And if I am REALLY lucky she'll read this post! lol

Ah well. I have stew to fill my belly tonight. MMMMM....want some?

UPDATE:
For a laugh go see this. If you are somehow easily offended, don't. I don't need angry spam from those lacking a sense of humour.

And I apologize for the long upload, but stay the course, it's good stuff.