Sunday, November 30, 2003
eat drink and be merry
Sometimes I think that I am having the best years of my life. It's taken a lot to get to this realization, but I have developed the ability to step back from my life and see all that I have, and be grateful for it. :-)

Friday night I got together with my "Gang of Friends" for a birthday dinner. I call it my Gang of Friends because we are really a lot like a larger cast of the tv show Friends. By that I mean, we have a long history together (we have all been friends for about 15 years) and therefore an incredibly wonderful comfort level. The guys in this group are all like my brothers, and the girls my sisters. We talk, we laugh, we recall the old days, and make plans for the future. Just think about how amazing it is that 12 people have all managed to stay friends for that long! (and there's usually more of us, some of us just couldn't make it) It's amazing that we haven't lost touch, and that we can get everyone together in the same place. I am in awe of it everytime, and it's that kind of effort that keeps us together.

On this particular evening one of the guys decided he would have us over to his home and he would make dinner for all of us (yes ladies, the man can cook. and it was deeeelicious!). The food was amazing, and the company was top notch. I just sat there all night with a big, dumb, happy grin on my face. I can't tell you how much I love this group of friends. We have grown up together and seen each other through the tough and awkward times in highschool, through getting married and having children, and in some sad cases, burying a parent. In my life I have a very small family, so friends have always played an extremely vital role in my life, as they become my extended family. That is why I put everything into a friendship, and offer undying loyalty (and expect the same of them). These are my true friends who have never once let me down, nor I them.
Anyway, good times, good friends, good food, and as always, we played some cards. LOL.

Then on Saturday Princess Blondie and I (and a few others) went to the Whole Life Expo in downtown Toronto. It was pretty entertaining and educational fun. Lots of herbal remedies, lotions, potions, and organic food. It always amuses me to see all the different things people are peddling as "cure alls" for whatever ails you. For real kicks Princess Blondie and I saddled up to the Oxygen Bar to get us some oxygen. Let me just tell ya, we looked pretty sexy with the oxygen tubes running up our noses. LOL. It was interesting, but not something I would really opt to do on a regular basis. Kinda made me dizzy at first, and then gave me a sharp headache, and then I was fine. An odd assortment of reactions....

Then I spent a long time with the guys of Barefoot Science as they tried to convince me I wanted these foam inserts in my shoes. After trying them on I told them there was no way I would ever put those things in, and was happy to have my boot back to normal. lol. But still, I must have sat and laughed it up with them for like, 20 minutes. They were really funny and super nice to talk to. That's what I love about this show...talking to different people and hearing different ideas and opinions. It's good for ya! :-) Except for the annoying lady who was trying to tell me that burning candles was all toxic for me unless I burned her beeswax candles. That may well be true, but I hate people who get preachy or launch into lectures and make it seem like they are better than me. tsk. There'll be none of that, thank you very much.

After that the gang went to The Fish House for lunch and it was goooooood! I had grilled catfish with garlic mashed potatoes and veggies. And Crème Brulée for dessert. MMM-mmmm! Food is good.

So there you have's been a busy and happy weekend for me. Today I'm trying to slow things down a bit and spend some time tidying my apartment, and maybe do some homework. This morning I walked across the hall to Princess Blondie's place and sat and had tea with her and her beau and her beau's sister. It was nice, we just sorta hung out and talked about how noisy the drunken neighbours upstairs were last night. Idiots.
Later on we're all going to some dance....thing. Recital? Performance? Show? I dunno, it's something a friend of Blondie's is putting on, so we're gonna go check it out.
And then maybe later tonight I can actually settle down to my cleaning and homework. lol. It's not going well so far.
Hope everyone had a good weekend! :-D

Friday, November 28, 2003
forked tongues
May I just say that if only it was colder, we would have one awesome snow storm right now!! But unfortunately it isn't, so it's pouring buckets and buckets of rain, making the drive into work long, and tension filled. Tis a grey day which kinda sucks coz one of my bestest friends is celebrating her birthday today. I called her up and left a birthday song on her voicemail at work so she would have it when she went in this morning. Tonight we're all heading downtown for a big dinner with our gang of friends; I'm looking forward to it, it should be a blast. :-D

Last night I went over to hang out with a friend I haven't seen in a few weeks. Julia is a friend of mine who has moved here to Canada from Israel about 4 -5 months ago. A friendship was spawned when I was looking for someone to help me with my Hebrew, and she was looking for someone to help her with her English. We hit it off right away, and get together and talk for hours and hours on end. :-) Last night was pretty funny as I was explaining some stuff in English, and she in Hebrew, and by the end the two of us were just pretty much cursing each others languages. LOL.
All I know is I've got a lot to learn and I don't know if I have the time and patience. LOL

Also when I hang out with her we always end up talking about Israel. Lots and lots. Sometimes it depresses me, coz this is now my second friend in a year that I have met who has moved here from Israel, and when I talk to them about their reasons, it makes me worry about the country. Both friends (from last year and this year) tried their best to carve out a living for themselves in Israel (both Julia and her husband are *very* well educated) but the economy and political system is such a mess that they were finally forced to give up and go somewhere else in order to realize their dreams. In talking to these two separate friends I have had an opportunity to get interestingly different points of view, but the answers, sadly, have been the same.

The first friend ("Gnat", now living in England) was born and raised in Israel, calling it home for the first 30 years of her life. She finally left for Canada with her husband and son because the economics of Israel were preventing them from ever getting ahead, and thwarting their dreams of ever owning a home. So they came here. And while they loved Canada immensely, they found it was too far from family in Israel, so they moved to England. Gnat has said flat out "I will never move back to Israel". That, I think, says a LOT.

Julia was an immigrant to Israel and lived there for over ten years. She had to learn the language and adapt to the culture. Eventually she met and married her husband, and had a daughter. They too left largely due to the economy of Israel. She spoke to me of a political system that only pretends to serve the people, and an overall attitude of not caring (especially in terms of voting). Do I need to point out how many strikes go on in Israel on a regular basis bringing the country to a standstill, and crippling an already ailing economy? While the bond within the Israelis (to each other and to the country) is strong and wonderful, the system is crumbling. She says she now feels very comfortable in Canada, like she has been here a year already, and has made many friends. I for one, am thrilled she came here. :-)

All this worries me because I have people in Israel I care about and who are struggling to make a life for themselves there. What's to become of them and all the others? Israel and it's inhabitants are highly misunderstood which does nothing to help their situation. And with no end in sight in terms of the Palestinian conflict, I worry about the future of Israel.

Israel has survived this long, and I have faith that it will continue to do so. But getting by is not enough. I want it to grow, prosper and flourish. I want my friends there to be happy and do well for themselves, and build a long meaningful life there. I want the Palestinians to have a future too, they deserve it as much as anyone else (I know that will spark a hot debate, but I want people to remember that not every Palestinian out there wants war). And I find it incredibly unfortunate that a group of angry Palestinians have turned to terrorism to try and get what they want, making the rest of the Palestinians, who want peace, look bad.

If you are interested in learning more, please check out my links in the Israel section of my sidebar.
Recommended blogs: Gil, Rinat, Imshin, Allison, Smooth Stone, Israellycool, Lorien, Meryl, Solomonia, Israpundit and Havdala. (if you know of any others, please feel free to share)

Thanks for listening to me rant!

Do you know who I simply adore? my buddy-ole-pal across the hall at home, my Survivor pal, my confidante and friend, and my beloved Avon lady....Princess Blondie. Ever since she and her beau moved into my building I have been a very happy camper. They have been an awesome addition to my life, and I just thought I'd put up a pic of her (at her best! lol) so that you had a face to the name, since I talk about her almost every other post. lol
Now you can see why this girl makes me laugh. Coz she is friggin' HILARIOUS is why! lol

Thursday, November 27, 2003
Gobble Gobble Gobble!!
First of all, I'd like to wish my American readers a Happy Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed mine this year, and I hope you do too. Safe travels to you and your family, and happy turkey eating. For an amusing spin on the matter, I suggest you pop over to Michele's site; she's dispensing "helpful" Thanksgiving advice. If you have a question or concern, let her help you out in her own special way. LOL.

As for me, I'm in a pretty agreeable mood so far today (of course I haven't gone into work yet, but let's try and be optimistic). I had a good night last night over at Princess Blondie's place, watching Survivor with her and her beau. I don't know WHAT it is about the show this year but I am way into it. I couldn't have given half a shit about the last 5 seasons (I watched the first one, I admit) but I sure got sucked into it bigtime this season. Anyway, Princess Blondie, still feeling slighted after last week's upset, tried to ignore the show and was reading her book off and on throughout. lol. You can't ignore it, try as you may, missy!!

Anyway, I woke up this morning troubled by a dream I had about my grandmother. I'm going to have to give her a call before I head to work and check up on her. I know, that sounds silly, but I unfortunately tend to put a lot of stock into my dreams. Sometimes it's better to just play it safe, ya know? Besides, gives me a good excuse to call her. :-)

Yesterday I called up a friend of mine, whose brother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer (I mentioned this before) to check up on her and her brother, and make sure she's holding up. We did the polite dance around the subject, talking mostly factually about it all, glossing over the emotions of it. Sounds cold, I know, but it's how people get through the hard times of cancer. You deal with facts because THAT you can more or less wrap your head around. She said he is getting chemotherapy every two weeks. I asked for how long, and she said "well....forever and ever". His cancer, as I said is terminal, but they are doing their best to buy him some time. I said nothing. I understand the need to hold on to hope, but I myself wouldn't put up the fight. Not if I'm going to be bed ridden my last months on earth. She says he sleeps a lot now, and spends a week with her and then a week with her parents. She has stopped after three weeks of hysterical crying about it all, and is beginning to come to terms with it. I told her I was here, as always, if there is anything I could do. I only wish there was. :-(

See what I meant in my previous post about quality time over quantity? It's a tough call, to be sure. And just because I wouldn't choose the treatment doesn't mean I don't understand and agree with someone who IS willing to try. I don't think anyone really knows until they are in that situation, and I don't think there is one answer for anyone. But I have seen the tail-end of cancer too many times to know what it looks like when you do heavy treatments. And I, unfortunately, have a bit of a pessimistic streak since no one in my family has survived cancer. I watch tv shows where they bring on all these wonderful people who have fought and survived cancer and always wonder how the hell THEY did it, and no one in my family did. I think we're cursed. lol.
So yeah, you got my view (and I'd still like your input, so go comment in my previous post). If things were grim, I would rather enjoy what time I have left. And in fact, I might just choose not to tell a soul I was sick, if that were the case. I'd rather laugh than cry, and I'd want the same for my friends and family. ;-)

That being said (sorry to be such a downer folks), I once again wish a Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating. And to those that aren't, I still encourage you to find a few things to be grateful for today. Maybe start with your health. *wink*

Wednesday, November 26, 2003
to tell or not to tell
Let me pose a hypothetical situation to you, my fine audience, and see what your thoughts are on the matter.

Let's found out you had a terrible disease of some sort and you were told you had a limited amount of time to live (cheery thought, I know, but stay with me here. it's a game of "what if"). K? Now then, the doctors tell you they have a treatment that may buy you some extra time, but it will (in all likeliness) make you very sick. Either way, your time is still limited, it's just a matter of how much extra time you can buy.

So. Do you take the treatment and take the chances that your last days are terrible because you are sick all the time, and can barely muster the energy to move (but hey you might get another month or longer on this planet, even if you're watching it from your bed!)?
Do you decide to live out your last months in relative health, opting to live out quality days with friends and family, essentially choosing quality of time over quantity of time. Maybe travel and see the world, or follow other dreams you had never gotten around to doing (but ya can't do it if you're sick from the treatment!).

Which would you choose?

Now let me ask you a third possibilty would you consider not even telling anyone? Would you consider not telling your friends and family, and instead elect to try and lead a normal life for as long as possible (and thereby sparing your friends and family the dread of knowing what's to come)?
What if you had the option to not know for sure to begin with? Would you want to know? What if you were the type of person who wouldn't take the treatment anyway? Would there be a point to knowing?

This is all tricky stuff. Hypothetical stuff like this is good....get's ya thinking about stuff a bit. ;-)
And maybe make you Thankful for what you DO have, hm? It's always said that you should live each day like it's your last... so how would you live it? Would you go and make amends with people? Why would it take something like that to get you to do it? Would you finally take that trip? Would you surprise someone and tell them you love them? Or would you keep it as your little secret?

What're your thoughts, folks? (and I realize I ask this at a time when many of my readers are gonna be off eating Turkey......damnit...bad timing. Oh well.)

murder by numbers
I can't remember when I've been this grumpy. It's been months. Grrr...I hate it. It's so energy draining. I cancelled my plans for tonight so I wouldn't have to subject my friend to my mood, and so I could stew in it right proper. LOL. I think my parents are going to drive me out my mind. I'm telling you, they make me want to flee the country. Where shall I go? I think we Canadians can get into England and Australia pretty easily... Hm. The Irish in me calls to Ireland. Then again, Israel is a gorgeous country (yes it is! get all that bad imagery of bombs out of your head!), but I would miss the winter. I know that sounds crazy, but I would. So I guess that puts Australia out too. I need snow, I can't have it warm all year round. Why must my parents make me so grumpy that I actually seriously consider crap like this? *sigh*

Let's talk about something else. Like my class last night. It was my last class until the new year. This makes me sad coz I truly adore my teacher and have become quite fond of my classmates as well. That and I am afraid I'm going to forget everything I have learned during the break. That would be bad. I told my teacher I wanted her to pile on the homework for me to do during the break (there's that browner thing I mentioned. lol). She loaned me a second textbook and showed me what I could do to get ahead. And she's going to sneak me into her advance class when classes resume, so after my class I'll stay afterwards and sit in on her next class. Hurray! This makes me happy.
Anyone wanna help me with my homework? Can ya speak Hebrew? :-/ No? Drat.

Know what I did last night? I went crazy-obsessive about cleaning my keyboard. At like, 12:30am I decided I needed to take my keyboard into my bathroom and use my hairdryer to blow out all the crap between the keys (I only WISH I had a can of air!) and then I spent..I have no idea how long....15? 20 minutes? cleaning between the keys with alcohol and q-tips. How nutty is that?? What can I say, I LOVE my keyboard and mouse (which yes, also got a cleaning) as I had been noticing the two year build up of filth on them so it was cleanup time. lol
I can't believe I just admitted to that.

Anyway, my pizza just arrived, and Survivor is on tonight. Since Princess Blondie has washed her hands of the show in light of last week's vote, her boyfriend is coming over to my apartment to watch it tonight (I usually go over to theirs). She won't watch it now, so it's just us. LOL and tv.....

Tuesday, November 25, 2003
look at me, NOT getting my work done!!
Omg, I have wasted FAR too much time today making changes to my blog. Bloody hell. Maybe it's because I don't know what I'm doing, so at one point I had the thing in complete shambles as I was feverishly writing and rewriting html code. I thought my brain was going to melt, and panic (and frustration) was seriously beginning to set in.

The problem is that I am an insane perfectionist. I have overlooked a few things on my blog that bugged me, but today, for whatever reason, I just coudn't let them go. So I mucked with my links and set up a news section. I am now an affiliate with CBC News. I have no idea if this means I have sold my soul to the devil or what, but I thought it would be something new and interesting to look at. Please let me know if it slows down your page load too much, and if such is the case with enough people I will remove it. I just thought it might be nice for some of you to see how Canada reports the news. Open your mind a little and see how we see the world. :-) It's updated frequently throughout the day, and just so you don't get bored of Canadian news (I admit, things can get a little dry up here) I put the "world news" section first. K? So let me know what you think.

And now I am going to friggin' well get some work done. Talk about panic....I haven't done any work today, and I really needed to as I have deadline as of yesterday that I am missing. And I have homework to do before class tonight. Crap. AND I gotta go to the dentist, which pretty much ices the cake on how my day is going. *groan*
As it is I am resisting doing more things to my blog. Must...stop...tinkering!! What the hell has gotten into me today?!

As a final note my nerd friends and I are desperately trying to get tickets to the Lord of The Rings Marathon. The theatres in the area (and I think much of the U.S.A.) are hosting a marathon of all three movies on December 16th. It runs from 1:30pm to about 1am. How crazy will that be?? Eeeek!! I am dying to do this movie marathon with my buddies!! We are hitting a few snags, in that the two theatres closest to us are ALREADY sold out, if you can friggin' believe it (the tickets are something like $50). So we're trying to get tickets to a theatre a little farther away. *fingers crossed*
Here's hoping.

Monday, November 24, 2003
King Henry's Arms
Ya know what? Sometimes I'm just silly.
I just went out with my friend Melra and had a friggin' wicked time, making me wonder...what the hell am I ranting about with the 'I don't have a best friend'? Ok, like, I don't call her my best friend because I'm 'best friend scared' at the moment (and frankly I don't want to scare her off with a title like that. lol), but damn if she doesn't fit the profile for this past year. We've grown extremely close (we've been friends off and on since highschool, a period of time that now seems like a lifetime ago) and she is just the best person to rant and rave to. We get together under the pretense of coffee, but really we're just picking a spot to get together to talk for like, 3 or 4 hours.

Tonight I unloaded and bitched about my recent family woes. I am not exactly in my family's good grace right now, and probably really haven't been for a long time (and who knows if I ever will be again). So this is depressing me a bit coz if you don't have your family, who do you have? So it's crap like this that gets to me and makes me want to do something nutty like move to another country knowing full well I could never possibly "make it" (I have a nice apartment and car now, but sometimes money can be tight).
Anyway, I got to rant to Melra and then she got to rant a bit back, and we swapped stories, and then I walked out of that pub feeling like I was ten feet tall and bullet proof. I love it. I love what a good friend can do for you, ya know?
I have had some really good friends come to the forefront lately (like Melra and Princess Blondie) and it's made me believe in friendships again, at a time when I'm feeling like no one can be trusted. LOL

Hurray for friends. Now I'm happy again. :-D
Sometimes we just gotta look at what we have, not what we don't have.....

once again
I just did a serious bonehead move and erased an entry I was working on. The "funny" part about it was that I was attempting to copy the entry and paste it somewhere else so I wouldn't lose it. Ironic isn't it? Just friggin' HILARIOUS, isn't it? *sigh* I highlighted the whole entry and then right clicked. Only instead of clicking "copy" I clicked "paste" and put in a link to something I was posting about, causing the entire post to be replaced by one little link.

In an effort to calm down I am now going to go meet my friend Melra for a coffee. I *could* blame her since she interrupted my blogging by calling me and inviting me out, thereby causing me to stop mid-post to meet her.....
But that would just be silly, and desperate. It ain't'a gonna bring my post back.
and DAMNIT it was good too. grumblegrumble, fragga shmagga.

Melra will raise my mood, however, and the I will come back and take another stab at it.
Damn you all to hell Blogger, you will cause me certain insanity.

Sunday, November 23, 2003
gettin' jiggy with it
Last night I eventually blew my "I'm going to do nothing all day" mentality, and did some homework for school. But I enjoy doing my homework for this class, so I don't count that. I guess that's the thing with going back to school as an're there coz you want to be, and it changes the whole outlook and experience of it. I'm loving it. :-D

Today has been pretty good too. It's a *gorgeous* warm sunny day here in Toronto. We're all wondering what is going on with the weather gods, what with temperatures topping 15C (59F) today. It was too nice to stay inside so I went for a walk. I took a stroll up Yonge St. to check out the little shops along the way. I also passed a park called Ransom Park. Yikes, hardly seems like an inviting name for a pretty little park, now does it?? LOL.
The used book store I wanted to check out was closed for some reason, much to my chagrin. I have finished the book I was reading, Holes, and have been shopping around for what I'd like to read next. I'm open to suggestions from y'all.

Walking along I saw a new store that had just opened up, claiming to be a Mediterranean food store/restaurant. Well I just had to go in, now didn't I? I had seen some advertisements the owner had put up on some hydro poles, so I thought I'd stop in and show a little support for a new store. I'm a firm believer in supporting local businesses.

It had about what I expected..some imported foods from various Arab countries, and I grinned as I looked over all the foreign food. I love this kinda stuff, I really do. I chatted it up with the guy a bit, telling him I had seen his sign (wanted to let him know his efforts were paying off) and asked him how long he had been open. Only two weeks, he said. I walked around looking for something to was hard being the only one in this tiny little store; I knew he was watching me the whole time. lol. We Jews get nervous when an Arab is watching us that closely!! (rofl. I'm kidding folks, don't get your shorts in a bunch)
Anyway, I wandered over to the fridge to see what beverages he had. He noticed me looking at the drinks and came over to tell me that the ones I was looking at were from Turkey. Really?? says I. So I grabbed me a couple of the Turkish pops/soda called Uludag Gazoz. They looked pretty tasty. One is an orange flavour pop, and one is some ambiguous "fruit flavour", but looks like it will be a lemon/lime drink.

This made me happy. Happy to try the drinks, happy to show this guy some business, and happy in some crazy way to support Turkey a little. I know, that sounds crazy, but buying products is one way to support a country so I'm doin' it for Turkey. Did you know Turkey was the first Muslim country to acknowledge the state of Israel? Turkey and Israel have very good relations indeed, and the Jews and Muslims there live well together. And after the recent bombing I think Turkey has done very well to handle the situation. It was a horrible loss for everyone.

Anyway, I also bought some dried red lentils he had in bulk bins. I can always use more of those. As I was paying at the counter my wallet sort of fell open as I was digging for change and his eye caught sight of a sticker I had in there; it's a Canadian and Israeli flag sort of super-imposed over one another (looks pretty damn cool, actually). In an effort to ascertain my heritage he sort of fumbled for a minute and then asked "So... do you live around here?". Well chosen words, my friend. I gave him a big smile and said yes, I live just down the street, and that I'm sure I'll be back in again soon. ;-)

So after my Turkey drink purchase I have come home to sample the beverage and tend to my stew (the orange drink is VERY good, I might add!! Mm-mm!). Earlier today I had groceries delivered to my house, so I was able to make some real food. With Si's vote for stew, I went with that as my dinner of choice. In an effort to ease recent tensions with the parental units, I have invited my mother and father over for dinner. *sigh* I hope I don't live to regret that one.

Have I mentioned that I have found out my mother has been on my blog a few times? Yes, I keep a close eye on my visitors and I began to notice that MY ip address from work was coming up....when I wasn't there. My mother had been using my computer at work and "tripped across" my blog. I think we all know how catastrophic this can be.
I said to her "look, it's a public blog, I can't stop you from going on there. But you never snooped and read my diary when I was living at home, why would you want to read it now? it's public, but at the same time it's personal". She wasn't getting it. She felt slighted because she thought all my other friends were reading it, to which I explained that no one I know (in real life) really reads it. I have had friends ask for the address and I haven't given it because it might alter how or what I post. There's something therapeutic about ranting to an anonymous audience. She kinda didn't say much after that. Neither did I. I was pissed off. In fact it's pissing me off now just thinking about it. LOL
And if I am REALLY lucky she'll read this post! lol

Ah well. I have stew to fill my belly tonight. MMMMM....want some?

For a laugh go see this. If you are somehow easily offended, don't. I don't need angry spam from those lacking a sense of humour.

And I apologize for the long upload, but stay the course, it's good stuff.

Saturday, November 22, 2003
zen day
Today was my day to do absolutely nothing. And except for an interlude whereby I met up with my friend "Will", I seemed to have accomplished the objective. :-) You laugh, but do you know how hard it is for the average person to just do nothing? I don't know about you, but one of the most common lectures my mother drilled into me as a teenager was the ole "you're wasting your day away by sleeping" (closely followed by the "you're turning your nights into day and your days into nights" lecture). Both lectures were spawned by the idea that when you sleep in until whatever hour, you are wasting precious daylight hours. This never actually sat well with me because I am, by nature, more of a night owl. Whoopidoo if I miss daytime. lol.

Anyway, I slept in until the oh-so-late hour of 9:30am. I hope my mom is happy, she's ruined my inability to really sleep in. lol. I got up, I mucked around on my computer for a few hours, ate some breakfast, and crawled back into bed to read a book. I finally fell back asleep for another hour and half. Bonus! Later I woke up with a headache from over sleeping (my mother has officially cursed me) and I decided it was time to get up and shower and act like a real human being. My friend Will calls to chat a bit. Twice. I hop in the shower. Ahhh...that feels better.
I get out and crank some music. I begin to tidy my apartment a bit. (am I boring you yet? GOOD! this is your lesson on how to relax and do nothing, so pay attention :-). My friend Will calls me again. We decide to meet up at the mall and hang out. I love him, so I decide it's a good plan. That and it forces me to get out of the house and get some air. After hanging out and shopping we separate and go our merry ways.

On the way home I head to the convenience store, get some milk, some Sprite Ice and some Cherry Coke. I'm in the mood to try some funky drinks, ya know? (ok, now I'm even boring me. lol) Blah blah blah .....I watch my taped shows and kick back for the rest of the night. The end.
See that? I feel better. Rejuvenated, even. I suggest you all give it a shot (unless you already live a life of leisure in which I suggest you get your ass out there and get some work so you can actually appreciate your free time. ;-)

Shall we talk about Gothika? Yeah, I saw it last night with Princess Blondie. It was ok, I suppose. It entertained me, and overall I'd say it was good. Not exactly the most original storyline, but it was fun. Princess Blondie, however, was far more entertaining to watch than the movie. I sat there and watched my friend revert back to a screaming 12 year old. It was hilarious, complete with arm clutching, squealing, and ear plugging. Yes folks, she's the type that jumps when the black cat dashes out from behind the garbage can. LOL. She was great fun to watch it with, I'm glad we went. :-)

Speaking of Princess Blondie, she was devastated by Thursday's episode of Survivor. She swore all the way through that if Rupert was voted off she wouldn't watch the show anymore; I guess I won't be going over to her place Thursday nights anymore. LOL. Never get attached to the players, folks!!

As for me, I am a happy girl today. I got some eggnog while at the convenience store. I LOVE EGGNOG!!!!!! AND I ordered another hundred bucks worth of groceries from Grocery Gateway today, to be delivered tomorrow afternoon. woohoo! I think tomorrow I'll make stew. Or chili.
Stew or chili? Whattya think? (I know, you actually couldn't give a shit, just humour me and make like you do, k? lol)

Friday, November 21, 2003
position available, apply within
I had an emotionally shitty day today. Everything else was great, I just had some moments that drained my emotions and energy in a cruddy kinda way. I hate to succumb to a bad mood when it's such a beautiful Friday; the temperatures here in Toronto have been phenomenal, with it reaching a staggering 12C (53.6 F) today. That might not seem so "staggering" to some, but that's an amazing temperature in mid-November in Canada. Other parts are currently buried under 6 feet of snow, and I'm walking around without a jacket. In fact on Sunday it's supposed to hit 15C (59F)! On one hand I like it, on the other hand I am dying for some snow. I love it. :-)

But I digress.
The point is that today I could really use a best friend to talk to. Not just someone to talk to, but a best friend who knows me inside and out, knows that when I sigh it means I got something on my mind I need to share, knows that sometimes it takes a bit of prying but in the end I will share everything, and someone who knows my history to know how a particular problems fits into the big puzzle that is me. Know what I mean?

Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of friends that I love and adore, and that I feel very close to. Some I have known for over ten years (a few over 20 years!), and they know me pretty damn well by now. But I'm the sort of girl that has a large group of friends, but one really close friend. That person is my friend, my soul sistah, my confidante, and my shoulder to cry on. We finish each other's sentences, and share the same silly and sick sense of humour. This is the friendship in which the line between friend and family gets blurred. This person knows everything from what I take in my coffee to what the name of my hometown is (a hole in the wall few have even heard of). I feel as welcome at her dinner table as I do at my own.
Getting the point? lol Okay, no need to drag it on, you get it by now, I'm sure.

So the position of best friend has been void in my life for a few months now. It hasn't really been a problem, because as I said, I have close friends that I can go to if I really need to talk. But I am missing that kindred spirit that comes with a close friend. My last friendship had dissolved under difficult conditions, and I hold no ill will towards her throwing in the towel on our friendship. I still love her, and I, for the most part, understand why she did it. I'm not sure I agree with how it was done, but I think I get why. And just because I get it doesn't mean I have to like it or agree with it.

So now I am left feeling a little jaded and not exactly keen to get back into the friendship saddle again anytime soon. It was years before I allowed that friend to get close to me, and I'm not so sure I'm interested in doing it again. Letting someone know you that well is a pretty scary thing, especially if you're let down. I have another friend of mine trying to instill patience in me, telling me that perhaps one day down the road that friendship can be put back on track (she herself had been in the *exact* same scenario, and reconciled the friendship after 2 years of silence), but I have said there is little to no chance of that ever happening. I know precisely what I need to hear from that person in order to begin to fix it, and I know for a fact I will never hear those words. With that in mind I have closed the book on that friendship as best as I can and I have most definitely moved on. I still talk to her here and there which is pretty cool (and sometimes she even helps me with my homework!), but the depth is long gone. I miss her, but life goes on. Friendships ebb and tide...such is life.

Relating this back to the start of my post, I have had one of those days where I wish I could call her up and talk about the emotional crap I went through today. It was hard, and she would SO get me, and have some good stuff to say on the matter. And none of that coddling crap; if I need to be told something straight up, she woulda given it to me.
For now I guess I'll put a cork in that bottle and put it up on a shelf. Instead I'll share with you, my audience (of about 4. LOL). Not the details, but the moment. :-) Thanks for listening to my rant!

On much brighter note, I think I'm going to see the movie Gothika tonight with my buddy-ole-pal across the hall, Princess Blondie, and her beau. Eeek!! I'm so excited it looks like such a scary movie. :-D This oughtta scare that other nonsense right out of my head. lol
Speaking of nonsense in my head, why the hell aren't you people reading my other blog Technicolour Dreams? My dream last night was friggin' hilarious!! I dreamt Harrison Ford was telling everyone his name was Peanut Butter. LOL

Oh, and one more thing (how much longer does this entry need to be?!)..... While I was sitting in the ever charming rush hour traffic on my way home from work I looked in the car to the left of me and noticed a glass unicorn hanging from the rearview mirror. Cheesy looking thing with two red beads tied to the string above it. Odd, I thought. Then I look in rearview mirror and looked into the car behind me and noticed this woman had some kinda small purse/pouch type of thing hanging from HER rearview mirror. Now I'm thinking, that's it I'm posting about this when I get home.....when I glance over at the truck beside me. Buddy had the stereotypical fuzzy dice hanging from his mirror along with an ugly yellow maple leaf air freshener (a delightful variation on the Christmas Tree freshener). Very nice, bet the ladies love this look.
So my question is this: do you have anything hanging on your rearview mirror? if so, what is it? This leaves you out Dogg, since you have no car, but Si, you're up to bat. (I got 5 bucks that says it's a cross or rosary beads. :-)

Thursday, November 20, 2003
Bingham & Caicos

Okay, forget that other post, I'm still too bitter to recreate it. Instead let's talk about my new friend, Bingham.
Bingham belongs to my bestest buddy/neighbour across the hall, Princess Blondie (or more accurately her mom), and I was lucky enough to get to dogsit him today. I thoroughly enjoy doing this sort of thing. It allows me to make like I have a dog without all the ongoing responsibility of owning a dog. (That will come when I share a house with a beau and the responsibility can rest on both our shoulders)

This is not the first time I have borrowed someone else's dog. I used to take my friend's dog, Caicos, out for walks all the time. I loved it. And today was good coz I even faked being part of the secret dog owner community. You know, like how mom's talk in the park while their kids play.

Today as I was walking Bingham up the street there was a little shih tzu up ahead at the corner. As we neared the other dog I was getting a little nervous....I have only known Bingham for all of 30 minutes, and in fact have NO clue how well he interacts with other dogs. This could go badly for all I know, I have no idea. The shih tzu is small, Bingham is a big ole Golden Retriever.
As I arrive at the corner Bingham begins the usual tail waggin' and butt sniffing that all dogs go through when greeting each other; I held the leash very tight to me in case I needed to extricate him quickly. It went pretty well except that his new girlfriend could not have cared less that he was even there. She let him sniff wherever he liked, but she turned her head and made like he wasn't even there (poor Bingham, love denied can be a painful thing!). The owner explained that her dog doesn't really believe she's a dog, and so has very little use for other dogs. We had a cute little chuckle and watched the puppy fun for a second or two longer. Then I gave Bingham a little tug and informed him it was time to move along, and so we did.

I walked away with the biggest dumbest grin on my face. I fooled her! She thought I was one of them! She thought I was a dog owner too! Ha....I blended in perfectly. LOL!!

I leave you with a picture of my friend's dog, Caicos. I love her and miss her dearly, as she now enjoys life in Thailand instead of chilly old
It's a rough life! :-)
Caicos was my favourite dog to borrow coz she got all kinds of attention being a dalmatian and all (well that and she's about the bestest puppy dawg ever). I actually had someone ask me once: "...uh.....what is that? that them there 'spotty dogs?'. For real! I said yes. It's a "spotty dog". LOL

I could not be more bitter if I tried.
I just spent half an hour writing a post (making me VERY late for work) and then accidentally clicked the "back" button. Despite blogger asking me if I'd like to save the post before continuing (to which I said yes, in a panic) it doesn't seem to have saved it. I am now swearing like a trucker. I will rewrite it when I get home from work and am much calmer. Right now all I can see is RED.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003
I will NOT let my blog make me late for work, I will NOT let my blog make me late for work...
Ok, this has to be quick because I am some kind of time calculating misfit and when I set my alarm last night I didn't give myself NEARLY enough time. I finally work up *before* my alarm went off because it just felt like I should be up. And yes, I should have been, at least half an hour before, if I planned on spending any time on my computer before heading out the door. Nice job on my part.
Anyway, moving along.

Last night's class was fun. I love my class. And while I sometimes think I will never learn another language this late in the game, I still enjoy it. Keeps my brain stimulated, and keeps me in the habit of learning. Yesterday I got labelled as the browner in the class coz I did a lot of work WAY ahead in our textbook. I tried to quietly go up to the teacher before the class started to ask her a question about something I had done when she got all loud and said "Oh HO! Look what we have here, you have done well to get so far! And you have only one question??". She sort of went on like that for a bit as I turned more and more red. I could hear a few guffaws from some of my classmates (not that I truly care, I'm there to learn, but it certainly doesn't help when trying to play a bit of the classroom politics game). When I sat back down someone said "you're a BROWNER!!" to which I mighta mumbled that she only wished she was. The teacher said to me "you know what? I LOVE browners, I really do". This wasn't helping helping, coz now I'm sounding like a total teacher's pet. I'm sure she meant well, but it was making things worse. The guffaws went up a notch. I said that I wasn't trying to be a browner, just that I wanted to do more because it was easy and I wanted to challenge myself to push ahead. *sigh*
At any rate, I got the last laugh coz when she was assigning homework she gave them stuff I had already done. *grin* HA! Take that, you little wise-assed monkeys!!!

Ok, I was going to write more, but I am really REALLY running late.
Tzaddi, I am absolutely delighted to hear you got the box of candy I sent you. And I included the stickers of the Canadian flag so you could remember where you got them from. :-D Happy candy eating!! From Canada to Japan. How crazy is that??
See? Blogging IS COOL! I don't care what nay-sayers tell you!!

Off to Kitchener for the day, anyone wanna come? Coz I love driving for a few hours before working and then when I'm dog tired from working all day I just LOVE driving for a few hours home again. lol
have a good day, folks. Stay out of trouble.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003
message in a bottle
I'd like to thank my friend and neighbour across the hall, Princess Blondie, for making me a slave to text messaging on my phone. Prior to her entering my life, I never really used my phone for text messaging; frankly I found it extremely time consuming to press the same freakin' button three times just to produce an "L", and so typing out a whole message was an exercise in aggravation. But is there any greater joy than receiving a little message on my phone in the middle of the day, indicating to me that at that very moment someone was thinking of me? I can't help but squeal and anxiously go to my inbox to see what little nugget of joy was left there for me. It's pathetic, but it is true, ladies and gentlemen. And of course in my excitement I must reply to what was sent to me, and before you know it we are zipping messages back and forth.

And NOW I am even into texting my friend's cell phone over in England. It started as a way to establish whether or not the other was there in order to make the long distance call (or not if the person isn't home). Last night we just messaged a few times and I said I would call her later in the week, but that she had better message me when her baby is born (we're due at the end of the week).
I'm a text whore, what's become of me!?!!?

A funny side note; when I got up this morning I got a message from someone I don't know. " when will she give me the laptop? I will meet the laptop guy tomorrow"
Good to know. LOL. I wonder who was supposed to get that message....

The thing is, I know these messages cost money, but I have no idea how much. I have yet to get a bill for my phone since I started this, and I shudder to think. I'm sure it's some innocent amount like 25 cents a message, but good lord, how many have I sent?! So help me, if I have to go on a new plan because of this habit I'm not gonna be happy. lol
Damn you, Princess Blondie!!! :-P

Anyway, I have a crazy week ahead of me. I'm on the road, and working long crazy hours. I'm feeling spunky this morning coz I was in bed by 8pm last night (I had a splitting migraine) and slept off and on until 6am. Booyah! So I gotta drive to Burlington today and somehow make it back into town for my class at 6pm tonight. I hope I can make it. Coz I love my night class.
I also love milk. The colder the better.

Monday, November 17, 2003
admiration and friendship
I believe the first blog I started reading (many many moons ago, now) was Wil Wheaton's blog. I enjoyed his self deprecating humour, and the little following he had. I eventually drifted away because his need for his readers to tell him he was special was just getting depressing after a while. Still, I think it's a solid blog, and he seems like a pretty good guy.

Then I didn't read any blogs for a long time. That is, until my best friend told me she was moving to Israel. It was at this point that I was going to learn everything I could about where she was going, from the basic geography and political system, to what kind of life she would have. And it's that last point that brought me to the blogosphere. I could go on all kinds of factual sites about Israel and get information, but it didn't give me an idea of what day to day life would be like. So I somehow came across Lorien's blog. Which lead me to Imshin, Rinat, Gil, and Civax. They gave me a window on a world that I had no idea about. Sometimes it made me feel better and sometimes it made me worry more. I became closest to Lorien as she took me in under her wing and answered all my questions. She had an especially helpful edge, in that she is an Israeli living in Canada, so she has lived in both worlds and can answer my questions with a certain understanding.

Of course with time I followed the links of those other blogs, leading me to Solomonia, Brian Blum, Meryl, Allison, Israellycool, Wadiuwant and all the other great blogs you see in my blogroll. I read each and every one of them, and get something from them all (and no, that are not all Israeli or Jewish).

My point here is this: because I have been reading those first few blogs for so long that I have a deep admiration and respect for them. I guess I look up to them in a way, for it was they who had inspired me to finally start my own. Lorien was the first to link me, and was an amazing help in setting my blog up. And when I saw links to me on Imshin's page and Gil's page, and all those others who have been kind enough to include me on their blogroll, I was beyond honoured. I really appreciated the acknowledgment, for it was they, in part, that got me here. So, to all those who have linked me, I extend a heart-felt thank you. I am honoured and flattered.

But what about some of my more recent friends? This is the truly great part about blogging....all the friends you make along the way. When I first fired up this blog JustAGirl and Dan were right on board with me, posting comments left, right and centre. As was a new friend and supporter, Si.
Si, Si, Si. What an angel you are. This girl here is da bomb, people. She's got it ALL going on...she's got the brains, she's got the wit, and she's got the talent. And more importantly she has been *right* there for me helping me out and showing her love! I don't even remember how I came across her was sometime in July I think....and I had happened onto her page at a time when she had posted about something that matched what was going on in my life. We just sort of hit it off from there, and the rest is history. Thank you for everything, Si. ((hugs))

And now with the infamous K-Dogg, Smooth Stone, Havdala, Geoff, Wayne and Tzaddi coming on board it just doesn't get any better. :-)

So go explore the blogs of never know what you'll find.
(and if I have somehow missed acknowledging you like some kinda bad Oscar speech, I apologize, it wasn't intended to be a slight of any kind.)

Sunday, November 16, 2003
mission accomplished!
First of all, I'd like to extend a thank you to Havdala and Smooth for your kind and supportive comments in my last entry. You guys are the best at showing me some lovin' when I need it most. Hugs to you both; I appreciate your understanding.

And now let me just say I had a fabulous day afterall. It's late, 1am, just got home and I am feeling a million times better than I was this morning. :-D
I went with my friend 'Tony' to The Everything To Do With Sex Show downtown and it was an absolute blast! I don't think I have seen so many dildoes and various other sex gizmos and gimmicks in my whole life (if ONLY stupid Blogger would let me upgrade so I could post pictures!! Damn you, Blogger!!). We had a great laugh and even learned a little along the way too. Tony is just one of my dearest friends, and it gave us a great opportunity to spend some time hanging out without our usual gang of friends; not that I don't love my other friends! But a little one on one time gave us a chance to get to know each other way better, and to get a little more personal and deep about things, ya know? I really truly had a great time with him. He totally pulled me out of a bad mood and made my day.
What a sweetheart.

And then after I hung out with him all day I met up with my friend Melra and we went out to a pub and sat and talked the night away. She is the fuckin' BEST person to both talk with about the shit going on in my life, AND to just shoot the breeze and have a good laugh. I adore her muchly as well, and have come to appreciate her friendship with each and every outing we have. You simply couldn't ask for a better friend.
We talked at one point about how we need to win the lottery. We both firmly believe that our happiness CAN in fact be bought, contrary to what people try and tell you (with the ole "money can't buy you happiness" line. pfft! HELLYA money can buy my happiness!). We concluded that if we won 49 million dollars (as some one has recently done in the States), one of the first things we would do is divide up large sums to those we love. We agreed that it would just NOT be fun if you didn't share it. Coz sure, you could go travel the world and have fun...but who are ya gonna do it with if everyone else is at work all the time?? And are THEY gonna wanna hear about all the fun you're having if they are at work bustin' their asses to make a living? So what fun is it if you don't share?? Tsk. The part that's important to being happy when you have money is to spread the joy, no? :-)

Anyway, we day dreamed for a bit, which is always kinda funny. "Oh if only...."

So there. I am back into my good mood again and all is well. Doesn't mean I'm any happier about the days events in Turkey, but I can deal with it now.
Thanks gang, I love ya all!

Saturday, November 15, 2003
operation: mood restoration
"Istanbul synagogue blasts: 20 dead"
This is making me cry, I'll be honest. Jews are targeted in all parts of the world, not just Israel. Nowhere is safe for a Jew, with attacks occuring in places from Turkey to Kenya to Morocco. I hope people now get an understanding for why Jews want so badly to have a land of their own in order to try and realize some semblance of security in their future. I hardly think that's too much to ask. :'-(

Anyway, I have made plans for the rest of the day in order to pull myself out of this mood. I am going with a friend of mine (I think we called him "Tony" the last time. lol) to go check out The Everything To Do With Sex Show going on down at the Toronto Skydome. Should be very very interesting. I adore him, he's a sweet guy, so this oughtta be a lot of fun.

After that I am meeting up with my friend Melra for a fun evening of hanging out. Not sure where or what, but I don't care what we do. So long as we get to hang out and unwind and bitch about life a little and have a few laughs. It's what it's all about with friends. :-)

Today I will take comfort in the company of my friends.

heart of glass
All good things must come to an end, and this includes that succulently good mood from last night. I am in a mood most foul right now, that I would say might even border in some kind of strange seething anger, though I can't be clear what the anger would be about. I just woke up a short while ago and it totally feels like I just got up on the way wrong side of the bed. Some shit went down in my life last night that has me uncertain about future dealings with some people, and I think it's making me just a wee bit moody.

Anyway, I am not interested in stewing it....I have made a conscious effort in last few months to change a few of my habits and behaviours, and that's one of 'em. What's the point of stewing, it's not going to change anything. So I'm gonna eat some breakfast, have a shower, tidy my apartment, and decide what to do tonight. Might be a good idea if I went out and did something social.

It's funny, I've noticed my desire to be social has started to taper off with the colder weather settling in. It's totally not an anti-social thing, I just notice that I tend to almost start hibernating. I like to stay in my little warm cocoon of a home and curl up with a book or new tv show. Then come spring I get all antsy to get out of the house and I pop out of my cocoon like a little social butterfly, and away I go. lol.

And, I might add, WHERE did my snow go?? We had snow yesterday and now it's gone. *pout*
Such a tease.

Friday, November 14, 2003
Mighty Mouse
Hellya. I'm in a good mood. Not sure why...just feeling that good feelin', ya know? Makes me wanna write corny e-mails to my friends and tell them I love them and stuff. However, I've learned from doing that in the past, that it actually freaks them out coz then they think something is really wrong and/or you're dying or something. lol. I think when I'm done this post I'm gonna do it anyway.

I'm conjugating verbs. What fun. LOL. Ohev. Ohevet. Ohevim. Ohevot. (?? AM I even right? I have no idea.)
Learning a new language at this point closely resembles teaching an old dog news tricks. *sigh*
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....

My brother stopped by my home today, which was nice. We had tea and Halloween candy and talked. :-)

Third Watch is on tonight. Happy day. And then I am having coffee with a friend. Happy Day.

I. Am. Canadian.
I'm not sure if my American readers ever saw any of the "I am Canadian" ad campaigns up here, but they were brilliant. And they were specifically aimed at dispelling American misconceptions of Canadians in a humourous fashion (oh, and to sell beer, of course. another great Canadian pastime). If you don't get any of the references, let me know and I'll help you out. heh.

Joe the Canadian.

invisible sun
Let's just review things. Wednesday? 20C (66F). I was wearing a t-shirt while walking around outside. Thursday? 4C (39F) and our first snow storm. Now, by snow storm I mean we actually had a minimum amount of snow but the high winds blew it around making it LOOK like we had a lot. It's so disappointing. And the winds were pretty bad, bringing down power lines up north and tearing roofs off houses and stuff. Can ya dig it?

But this is how it goes for us in Toronto at the start of winter....we get some snow, I get excited that it's finally winter and I get to frolic in the snow, and then it melts. Then I pout. Then it snows again, I get excited thinking it's really going to stay this time...and then it melts. It keeps up this cycle until maybe January, when I've finally given up, and then a load of snow is dumped on us, we act all kinds of surprised, and the city comes to a standstill for a day or two while trying to deal with it. Hee. I love it. I love wintery chaos. I am Canadian, hear me roar!!!!!

So now there's this ever so slight dusting of snow on the ground outside, but it won't stay long. In fact, our winters never get all that exciting here in Toronto. I know this maybe come as a shock to my American readers, but we don't get much snow here. We are on the GOOD side of the lake. Not like poor Buffalo that gets all that brutal lake effect snow that buries them every year. Ouch. Sorry about that guys. Even at our worst we really don't get that much snow...but if you go about an hour north of us (to Barrie), now THERE'S where the snow really starts. But here, thanks to the lake and the warming brought on by city heat, it's not usally too bad.
Hm. I have a feeling I've just doomed us to a very snowy winter.

Thursday, November 13, 2003
a blustery day
Yesterday was not one of my better days.
It started off okay...I merrily drove the 3.5 hours to Windsor, watching the scenery go by and bopping along to my music in the truck. Now, admittedly, the view along (highway) 401 can be an extremely boring one after a while. It's a long stretch of fields and sporadic farms; not much to look at, especially since it all looks the same after an hour or two. However, I grew up in this area, so I kinda enjoy the warm and fuzzy feeling I get while looking at it. And I'm the little nature nut who likes to watch for all the Red Tailed Hawks that can be seen sitting in the trees along the road, looking over the fields. They are such magnificent creatures, and I get all excited when I spot one. I lost track at about 12 or 13, but needless to say I saw many. It was awesome. In fact at one point I got squealing because I saw one right after another...three in a row in a time span of like, 20 seconds!
Okay, I'm probably boring you....I see that now. lol

I also saw the most spectacular road kill ever, and I have seen PLENTY of road kill in my time. Lots of skunks, raccoons, squirrels, porcupines, and the occasional deer at the side of the road. But the deer I saw yesterday looked like someone had shoved a stick of dynamite in it's ribcage and let 'er rip. It was horrifying. In fact, I only knew it was a deer by the sheer quantity of what was there (and a tail). It was unlike anything I have seen before, and my jaw dropped. Poor thing. :-(
Okay, now I'm telling you more than you need to know.
Moving along!

I ended up spending more time than I wanted to in Windsor, and didn't end up leaving until 6pm. This means an arrival time home of approximately 9:30pm. And it was going fine, except along the way I developed a migraine so bad that I was ready to apply for my death certificate. I kept checking in the mirror to see if my brains were bleeding out my eyes like it felt like they were (they weren't. lol). Made for a long terrible drive home. Ever have a migraine? It's a headache to end all headaches. And with the rain reflecting all the headlights of all the trucks around me and flashes of lightning.....well let's just say I couldn't get home fast enough. Ow.

Talked to my friend Melra on the phone for a good portion of the way, which was nice, it kept my mind off stuff. And I like her plenty, so it was good to talk with her. She's a pal.

And let me just ask what the HELL is going on with the weather???? It was 19C (66F) yesterday.....I was wearing a t-shirt outside, for Pete's sake!!! In November!!! IN CANADA!! lol And now it's 4C (39F). What the hell is up with THAT?? It's sunny, it's rainy, it's sunny, it's rainy, it's warm, it's freezing, it's warm, it's freezing...
Crazy makin'.

Seems the days events resulted in some crazy assed dreams for me....

Wednesday, November 12, 2003
rise and shine
I can't tell you how often blogging makes me late for things...things like WORK.
I woke up at 6:30am this morning, without the assistance of an alarm or any of that. So I thought, PERFECT, I'll get an early start to the day coz I gotta drive alllll the way to Windsor again, and alllll the way back. I'm not looking forward to it since it totals about 7 friggin' hours of driving. But I thought, good, I'm up early, I'll get an early jump on it, and I can be in Windsor by 11am if I get movin' right now.
But first let me just eat some breakfast and check my e-mail..................dum dee dum dee dum....and really, I should post my dream on my dream blog, Technicolour Dreams, before I forget the dream, right? Right.

And now it's 7:20am. See what reading the news and blogging can do to a day? Crud.
Anyone wanna go to Windsor with me? Maybe drive a little? I am NOT looking forward to it, especially since all this warm weather lately is supposed to cause some big thunderstorms this afternoon. That'll be a treat to drive in.
Bah humbug.

Whine whine whine.

Anyway, be good while I'm away...I'll be NEVER, it seems.
lol. I'm sure when I get home late tonight I'll come on and regale you with all kinds of tales of adventure.
I'm good like that. :-)

Tuesday, November 11, 2003
sleep please!
So I said to myself last night while going to bed (or this morning, if you want to get all technical): "Self! You've worked hard today! I'm not going to set my alarm, so that you can sleep in as long as you like!"

Seems like a good plan, no? Yeah, self slept in until 8:02am. Tsk. Way to sleep in. 5 hours of sleep and I feel worse than I did before I went to sleep. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. I feel like hell.
I tried to go back to sleep, but it was too late. Once I gained consciousness I was made aware of my need to use the washroom, and of my grumbling, roaring stomach. Once that happens, there is no going back to sleep.
So screw it, I'm gonna shower and head back into work, what can I do.

Here, I'll leave you with this little present: you can dissect a frog online, using a virtual frog!! it's the damnedest thing!

Also, much of the world will be pausing for a moment today to remember the men and women that were lost in war. I will remember, and I will make an effort today to be more aware and grateful for the freedoms I have because of those who fought for them; I encourage others to do the same. Remembrance Day, Veterans Day, whatever you want to call it. Let us not forget.

"We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields."

because *I* know how to have fun, let me tells ya!
Well looky here, it's after 2am and I only just now got home from work. I think it's safe to say I'm feeling a bit bagged at the moment. But talk about fun! Hoo whee! Wouldja like my recipe for such goodtimes? Okay, here goes.

First, get up earlier than necessary and head into the office. Waste a few hours walking around the warehouse barking orders and complaining that you could have been asleep the whole time. Maybe post on your blog a bit to kill time while waiting for your truck to be loaded up.

Second, get in the truck and drive for 3.5 hours to a little town on the Canadian side of the border, called Windsor. (and yes Immy, I thought you of you while I was there, and waved to Detroit coz I could see it. if you wanna hook up I'm lucky enough to have to repeat this trip on Wednesday). Once in town go to a Bay store and waste an hour doing what should have taken 15 minutes, but thanks to the staff it dragged on.

Third, get in the truck and drive to a Home Outfitters store. Proceed to spend what feels like the longest hours of your life working and setting up a new display. Slug as much heavy crap as you can, climb many ladders, and try repeatedly to cut yourself open with a boxcutter. Wait until the staff finally kicks you out because they want to go home, and then leave, promising to come back later in the week (all the while, in your head, trying to map some way out of the promise you just made).

Fourth, find food. It has been 9 hours since you ate last, and you now realize you might die before you get food to your mouth. Head to a Kelsey's and beg the waitress to bring you food as fast as humanly possible. Proceed to inhale food, and then pay bill. When it comes time to leave you realize the last 30 mins of inactivity has caused your body to seize up; you must now nearly crawl back to the truck. Get in, turn it on, and play some loud music to keep you awake. You have 3.5 hours of driving ahead of you, tiger!

Fifth, locate coffee and gasoline when necessary. Fifty cups of coffee should do it.
Drive home. Post on blog. Have a shower. Go to Bed. Get up at 8am, and start over again.

FUN HUNH??? And now you can try it at home! lol
The best part are the crazy games your eyes start to play on your after about 5 - 6 hours of driving. I mean, on the way THERE it was no problem. I was vaguely awake (though I realize 5 hours of sleep the night before was NOT enough for this journey, but hindsight is 20/20, right?) and it was sunny and beautiful.....I mean I actually saw DEER in a field at the side of the road, man! Does it GET more Canadian than that? I think not.
But on the way home, all I wanted to do was crawl into a cave to die. So it was long and I was tired and I began seeing little shadows running across the road....and one tanker truck looked like a big scary face from behind. It freaked me right out.

I think I should go to bed now. lol

And HOW did I know that the shower/bath post would spark such a debate? LOL!! I knew it!!!
Thanks for the commentary, it was nice to come home to.
See you guys in a few hours.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz..

Monday, November 10, 2003
bath vs. shower
I have found, generally speaking, that people are either bath people or shower people. I like to think that I am almost equally fond of both, depending on the time of year, and time of day. If it's summer, I am almost strictly shower. It's hot, it's sticky, I don't need to add to that. But come winter time, it's a shower in the morning, and very often, a bath at night. Helps me to warm up and relax before going to bed.

Now then. People who are "bath people" are not strictly bath people, for obvious reasons of time constraint. Who the hell has time for a bath in the morning before work?? But "shower people" almost exclusively stick to showers, claiming that baths are filthy and disgusting. I have had people ask me "how can you just sit there in your own filth and dirt?". And I ask them, exactly how filthy ARE you that this is an actual concern?? I mean yeah, I can see not wanting a bath if you are a construction worker fresh off the job, but if you're an office worker or something, who had a shower in the morning, what are you doing during the day that you are so filthy at night??

This being said I know people who will have a quick shower before having a bath to "de-filthify" themselves before having a bath, and I actually know one person who will take a quick shower *after* the bath to rinse off! Maybe I'm just too comfortable with my own dirt, but this seems a little overboard.

A bath is meant to be enjoyed. Savoured. Put in some aromas, or bubble bath, or oil. Let your pores open up, and breath in the nice warm moist air. It's good for ya!! And above all, RELAX. This is an actual problem for people, myself included. My mother can sit and soak in a tub for like, half an hour. I get bored after 10 - 15 minutes. I can stick it out a little longer if I put some kind of mud masque on, but even then it only buys me another 5 minutes. I sit, I soak, I close my eyes and take some deep breaths. Then I soap down and get out.
And no, I don't feel filthy afterwards, I FEEL CLEAN.
Crazy people.

Anyhoo, it's been fun but I have to head out to Windsor for work, work and more work. Be good kids, and I'll talk to you tomorrow. :-)

Sunday, November 09, 2003
Let your soul be your pilot
I have had the best weekend. Good and bad peppered the last few days, making it an overall rewarding time for me.
I spent some quality time with family and friends. I headed out on a new path investigating a possible congregation, and am happy to report I think we have a fit. It was wonderful. As I stated, I find religion to be a very personal matter, so I will not go into greater detail, but know that I am deeply excited by the connection I have made.

My parents have come home after a week in Savannah, Georgia and seem happy and re-energized. Tomorrow is my father's birthday, so I look forward to showering him with presents and love, coz my dad rocks. However, tomorrow will be a long day for me, for I will be going to Windsor to work all day. It's a fair drive, I think about 4 hours from here, so I'll likely stay overnight.

In other news, my mother has told me that my grandmother has gone out to a protest today, being the fiery 83 year old that she is. Disturbingly, it's against gay marriages. Now, we could ALL get into a large debate on this matter, but I'm not interested. Everyone has their owns feelings on the matter, and that's fine. I'm just annoyed that my grandmother is so bothered by it that she's actually participating in a protest. Just what catastrophic event does she think will occur if two people get married? The end of civilization as we know it? And really, how is it going to affect HER? What does SHE care if a couple want to make it legal and share the same rights as others?
tsk. I'm not even going to go there, it'll get me all fired up and then we'll get an ugly debate going. My basic principle is live and let live; these people did nothing to my grandmother. *sigh* Some generations will never understand. (hey, remember when women weren't allowed to vote? 'nuff said)

On a happier note I got to talk to my friends over in England yesterday. I had sent a package a while back, and I was happy to hear it was extremely well received by their son. I had included tablets that you drop in the bath water to change the colour, and apparently he is now far more willing than ever to take a bath. LOL! Green water is his favourite.
Anyway, my friends have begun to really settle in now, never an easy feat in a new country. I am looking forward to hopping on a plane next year to see them (and their new baby, due next week!). I will not let oceans separate me from my friends. :-D

How was everyone else's weekend?

Saturday, November 08, 2003
reality check
Tonight I had someone try and tell me that I should care about the eclipse because "it's important". This miffed me because at the very same time that this person was telling me this, something more important was going on. I had just gotten a call from a close friend of mine telling me that she had found out that her brother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and wasn't expected to live long (...and he's so young..). To me, that's a bit more important then a few moons and planets lining up. I am very sad for my friend tonight because I have had cancer take many members of my family, and I know the extremely difficult time that lies ahead for her. I also know there isn't a damn thing I can say or do to make her feel better. I told her I was very sorry to hear the news, and offered whatever help I could. She suggested that I might get her away from things later in the week and go out. I said she just had to name the time and place and I'd be there.


This lead me to be in a bit of mood later in the evening. Then I got a call from one of my guy friends (one of my nerd buddies, we'll call him "Will"), and he noticed that I was a little quiet and asked what was wrong. I said I was ok, and that my mood would pass, not really wanting to get into it. He convinced me to meet up with him for coffee, and so I hopped in the car and met him at the coffee shop. Looking back on it now, it was all a bit strange.....
There we sat discussing my friend's plight, with the moon eclipsing into an odd orange colour in the background giving the whole thing a sad if not eerie feeling. Will then opened up to me about losing his dad ten years ago to AIDS, something I had always wanted to ask him about, but was afraid to dig too much into what can only be a painful topic. We had a long good talk sharing our experiences, and he really opened up and spoke so warmly and fondly of his father. It was very nice, and I only wish I had had the chance to meet his dad. We talked about what it's like to sit bedside with someone while they died, and how hard it can be on everyone. To this day, I am still haunted by the image of watching my aunt literally take her last breath while I laid a hand on her to let her know I was there. We all were, the whole family circling her bed, and letting her know we were by her side.

But I digress, this isn't about me. The fact of the matter is, what's important to people is different from person to person. If that one friend feels the eclipse is important, so be it. But tonight my thoughts are for my friend and the difficult road that lay ahead for her. Talking to her tonight and making sure she was okay was more important to me.

Tomorrow will be a new day, and with it new challenges and experiences. I will be checking out a congregation I am considering joining. Never a religious girl, this is a big step and I am feeling very cautious. It's sort of an information session where those interested can come and ask questions and get a feel for them. I am also happy because it's taking place in a highschool....neutral territory so there's no pressure. I like it already.
But like I said, I have steered clear of religion most of my life (having had it forced upon me as a child repelled me greatly) but in the last year I have been on a personal journey that has brought me to a place where I'd like to see what's out there and explore the possibilities. I am excited, because I think this could be a good match, and might not have me running for the hills as most religious institutes have. LOL.
Should be verrrrrry interesting....

Anyway, if you are in a giving mood at the moment, please give generously.

happy days
Feeling pretty good today. I had an AWESOME time last night. I had my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner, and we had a fabulous time. I made a pretty darn good dinner, and we ate, laughed and chatted the night away. I must say I am pleasantly surprised at how very much I enjoyed it. It was great. *grin*
We finished the night by gathering around my computer and watching some Homestar Runner cartoons and laughing our asses off. I highly recommend you check them out.

Now then, on a completely unrelated note I want to mention the t.v. show "Cops". I was watching an episode the other night and was amazed at how ridiculous this episode was, yet was made out to be the coolest ever. When I first flipped to the channel I could tell that the cops had set up some kind of sting operation, usually involving a cop in a motel room posing to be a drug dealer, or a lady cop pretending to be a hooker. Cool shit, right? They just spend all night reeling in drug addicts and desperate "johns" looking to get laid (yeah, real cool THAT is. *sigh*). However, in this particular instance the sting involved the cops leaving a BICYCLE out and waiting for people to steal it. No lie folks, and they were taking it just a *tad* too seriously. They would prop this damn bicycle (a nice one, of course) up against a wall and hang back and wait for some fool to come along and nab it. Then the lead cop would radio all the other cops when the bait was taken and they'd all go running in, sometimes with GUNS DRAWN, and tackle the poor sap for stealing the bike. I could not BELIEVE I was watching this. Are they for real?? All this over a BIKE?? Well thank god they are putting away those hardened criminals and getting them off the streets before more bikes are stolen. lol.
What gripping episode of cops. Thank GOD they are there to protect us; I felt safer knowing someone is looking out for my bike.
Am I the only one that sees how absurd this is? Aren't there some real criminals out there that they could be chasing??

Friday, November 07, 2003
rollerskate skinny
I'm in a happy mood today. Things just kinda went my way, ya know? Doesn't happen too often, so I must revel in the moment.

I went for dim sum with a good friend of mine (we'll call her....Hannah), which was fun coz I haven't seen her in a month or so. It's bizarre how someone can be just 10 minutes down the road, but you never find time to hook up. Silly. So we had lunch, and this has made me happy. I think we also did well to amuse the restaurant workers. Watching two confused caucasian girls trying to order food that they don't know the name of in a Chinese restaurant, where the waiters english is passable at best. Fun for all. lol! " you have any of ..those....uh...white rice...noodles...things...they wrap around some kinda....uh...meat. And there's some sort of....sauce on"
Yup. But we managed and it was TASTY!

Then on my way home I got a call that I don't have to go to Ottawa next week afterall. Whew, this makes me VERY happy. Apparently my presence is no longer required, which now leaves me able to go to class on Tueday and watch my shows on Thursday! YAY!!! And no cold unhappy trip to Ottawa. Double yay!

So Betty Crocker and I are whipping up a cake right now, to go along with the dinner I'm making for my brother and his girlfriend tonight (we'll call them Brad and Faye). Should be nice, I think dinner is gonna be yummy. And what could be better than a little bonding time with my brother? My mom will nearly weep when she hears that we did just warms her heart, this kind of thing. *shrug* Whatever makes her happy. lol
(I mean come on mom....we stopped beating each other up years ago. LOL)

It's a good Friday for me, hope it has been for you guys too.
Want some cake? (chocolate marble!)

Thursday, November 06, 2003
just call me Martha
Hoo wee....I just had me a crazy cleaning fit. It started off as a "maybe I should clean the floors since I'm having company over tomorrow night" into a full blown cleaning frenzy. Sometimes I get into it, what can I say? Cleaning supplies can really inspire me. I love them.

A funny thing; a few months back I decided I was going to stop being messy. Just stop. Stop letting clutter take over, and stop allowing my home to get so messy that I wouldn't ever want someone to show up unexpectedly. Now I'm not talking maniacal cleaning, just frequent maintenance. It started with me going through every junk drawer, every corner and every closet, and chucking out all the crap that I was keeping for no reason. I was militant about getting rid of clutter and finding a place for the stuff I decided to keep. My theory was that if I had an actual place for everything, there's no reason why I should collect clutter again, because nothing should be sitting out. Everything gets a home. Also, I have become tough on crap that seeps into my home. Anything from junkmail and flyers to boxes left over from presents or pizza, or whatever.

Remarkably I have actually been able to keep up with this, I am DAMN proud to say. The only area that tends to clutter up from time to time is around my computer, but even then I make sure I crack down before it gets out of control. And I friggin' love my clean home, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. My only weaknesses seem to be dusting and floor cleaning. Who the hell wants to dust every little knick knack on a bookshelf?? And really, do the floors need to be cleaned EVERY week? LOL!! But otherwise, it's always neat, including dishes. *gasp* Does this mean I'm a grown up now!?!

Anyway, the floor cleaning was strictly for my brother's benefit. I have invited him, along with his girlfriend, over for dinner tomorrow night. Should be you have any idea how often I actually cook? lol I'll do my best not to poison him. Also, I think Betty Crocker and I will make a cake tonight......she always helps make a good dinner.

And after that.......SURVIVOR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Princess Blondie and I will be glued to the tv between 8 -9pm. I can't wait, tonight is gonna be so good!!!!!!!

And what the shit? Nobody had anything to say about the new Matrix?

Wednesday, November 05, 2003
quitting while ahead
Why oh why do movie makers need to take a perfectly good concept and drive it into the ground with sequels? WHY??
Do you have any idea what I would give to have the hands of time turned back so that George Lucas could perhaps rethink and nix his plans for those bloody awful Star Wars prequels he did? The classic three are good, I love them all (it took me some time to come to terms with the Ewoks, but I'm okay with them now). But then he had to make those god awful "prequels" and he made me wanna cry for destroying something so near and dear to my heart (do NOT even get me started on Jar Jar Binks). Same with Alien. Loved the first two movies, and I only WISH they had quit while they were ahead. But oh no, they had to go on and make two more crappy films to really ruin it for me. Must greed force people to make bad movies!? Do I NEED to even talk about Police Academy 7??

I think you can see where I'm going with this and the latest Matrix movie, right? *sigh*
I think it's safe to say I'm in the majority when I say that the second one seriously paled in comparision to the first. Well folks, strap in, coz the shitmobile is about to take you for another ride.
In it's defense, I was pleased to see that some of the mistakes made in the second film didn't occur again in the third; the length of the fight scenes were within reason (unlike the exhausting Neo vs. multiple Agent Smith's fight). This is good, coz all that fight served was to offer a break to go to the washroom. Also, the effects were much more believable...unlike a certain fight scene between the protagonist and an agent x 1,000 in the previous movie. All this was a welcome step up.

But what I missed the most was the brilliant dialogue from the first film; that and the subtle humour. Remember the window washing scene when Mr. Anderson was getting a lecture from his boss? Brilliant. As was the rest of the dialogue with it's clever little quips.
Not only was that missing from the second and third film, but by this last one it had been replaced with the most painfully CHEESY dialogue I have heard since Spider-Man. To quote my friend as we were leaving the theatre tonight: "Well, I woulda brought a bottle of wine had I known there'd be so much cheese!" hurt me right to my soul. If it's one thing I can't abide by, it's bad dialogue, especially horrific one liners (aren't YOU sick of hearing "I'll be back" out of Arnie's mouth?? yeah well good luck California, YOU voted him in!)

I can't even talk about this right now. I need to stew in it a bit.
Am I alone? Did anyone else see it? Help me see the good in this film, PLEASE.
(and you can ALL thank me for not putting any spoilers in this rant, despite my anger for the Wachowski Brothers)