Today's pick has already presented itself to me... and so I give to you the ridiculous CNN.com headline of the day:

"Pope meets koala, texts pilgrims"

That's right folks, CNN.com felt that little gem belonged in the top ten headlines this morning, right next to actual relevant headlines such as "US Marine dies from injuries in Iraq" and.. er... "Dozens of catfish 'walk' on street". If you feel particularly moved by the catfish headline, you may go ahead and buy your t-shirt here.

Labels: CNN.com

 
Anyone else interested in flogging a dead horse with an unwelcome and self righteous guest who has scary and narrow minded points view? No? Let's move on then, shall we?

I'd like to start a new feature that I have had rolling around in my head for a long long time now. Until I think of a catchier title for it, it'll be known as the "ridiculous CNN.com headline of the day". You see..... I spend a lot of time on various news websites throughout the day and CNN.com offers me an often amusing point of view. It's amusing in that, I enjoy seeing what the folks at CNN consider important news.... important enough to make their headlines at the top/front of their page. If you don't know what I'm referencing, go have a look. We'll wait here.

Ok, so when you go to the webpage you will see the "big" headline of the moment, accompanied by a picture. Then to the right you will see another list of headlines that they deem important enough to make the top 20.... and this is generally where I start to have a good laugh. Allow me to cite an example.

"Cerebral palsy boy mows lawns"

Now before any of you go off on me, I am not laughing AT the boy and his condition (or that fact that he mows lawns in said condition) but I am questioning how this was a headline. Unquestionably, it's a heartwarming story about a boy who is doing things against all odds, but REALLY? A headline?? Why not scroll down and put it in your "Health" or "Living" section?

But here is where I really have to question CNN and their taste; do you not find it just a little bit disturbing that you actually SELL T-SHIRTS with that headline on it?? Has anyone seen this? If you go look at that top 20 list of headlines there are a special chosen few that have a little t-shirt icon next to them that indicates you can actually buy a t-shirt, that in this case says "Cerebral Palsy boy mows lawns" * I just saw it on CNN.com -7:24pm 07.12.2008"

I kid you not, folks.

It'll go nicely with my "Man sticks finger in big cat cage" t-shirt, don't you think?
Am I the only one who finds this crazy and tasteless?? Blecch.

Labels: CNN.com, rant

 
Sometimes having a blog means putting yourself out there and potentially being in the line of fire. I think all of us realize that. It also means that there are people out there that are going to feel that they have the God-given right to come along and read your blog, think they know who you are, and then lay down some heavy judgment.

Know what I REALLY can't stand? Self righteous people. Know what's worse? Self righteous Jews laying judgment on other Jews. It makes me embarrassed to be a Jew, especially when that self righteous clown posts under the name "anonymous", like a coward.

Below you will see two comments made a few hours ago on my blogs, one on my photo blog and one on a post about my tattoo, both by my new friend Anonymous.

The first was in response to some Pride photos I put up in 2005. The rant is as follows:

Honestly, what is your interest in all this junk pride stuff? You, a Jewish girl?

Haven't you learnt in your very short Jewish education that all these lesbians and homosexuals are losing their life on earth?
Do you want to be part of that and also lose your own life on earth, you a JEWISH girl?
If you have learnt one thing about your Jewishness is that these people are not helping themselves in any way by living the SHAMEFUL lives they live.

I do not know if you are lesbian but, if you are, you are simply losing your life. It leads to nowhere and these lesbian "feelings" are just false associations you put in your mind, usually by seeing videos or pictures of these lesbians and perverting your very fragile mind while watching these lesbian videos.

Instead, plan happiness in your life and think of planning a family and having children one day and this path will lead you to TRUE HAPPINESS.
Finding a man in your life is what will bring true happiness in your life, not "admiring" people who have lost their minds and who want to lose the minds of others like you.

You might find these people very friendly. They sure are, as they are always very keen to have as many people join them in their craziness.
You, the Jewish girl, you deserve better for yourself.

Haven't you learnt in your life so far that these people are losing the very short life they have on earth with all this junk pride stuff?
There is nothing to like or to admire or beautiful about people wearing these crazy, sick outfits? NO PRIDE to have for having lost their minds and have become either homosexual or lesbian?

You deserve better than being attracted to all this shit!! Come, you are a JEWISH GIRL, you should know better. You know deep inside you that these people lose their lives, so why "admire" them and find them "beautiful" when they destroy their lives and want you to join them in their self-destruction.

Conclusion: NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF PARADING IN THESE CRAZY, SICK OUTFITS!!
NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF BEING A LESBIAN OR A "GAY"!! ON THE CONTRARY, THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEIR SICKNESS!
YOU DESERVE BETTER IN YOUR LIFE. TRUE HAPPINESS COMES WITH CHILDREN, THAT WHAT YOU DESERVE FOR YOURSELF IN YOUR VERY SHORT LIFE ON EARTH.

Delete all this junk pride stuff and photograph children and families instead.

I am not here to sermonize you. BUT, wishing you only TRUE happiness, it is my duty to be honest with you, even if you feel that I am too open with you!
I just want you to remember who you are, a Jewish woman, and from where you come from, the Jewish people.
Your past experiences of being a Jewish girl and of belonging to the Jewish people might not have always been great but always remember to differentiate between people claiming to represent Judaism and anything Jewish and the values transmitted by the Tanach.

Take care of you. And G.od bless you and show you the TRUE PATH toward happiness in your life: children. Children brings deep, lasting happiness and, through children, you can claim true pride.
G.od be with you and guide you. Take care.

The second is from the prior post, about my tattoo:

Tattoos, you the Jewish girl? You really have money to waste really!
And many feel sorry later on to have had these tattoos in the first place!!

Come on, use your mind, do NOT let you convince that a tattoo is what you need because, the truth is, you do NOT need a tattoo, you the Jewish girl!

I believe you are in contact with the wrong friends to be influenced in such a bad way to have tattoo, to be fascinated by the pride march junk and so on.

Stop having these contacts and introspect deep into your SELF instead of imitating friends whose influences are no good to you!

Honestly, I don't even know where to begin to comment. Then again, I don't think this even really deserves a comment. I don't know what kind of a Jew YOU are "Anonymous" but I am an open minded and loving Jew who believes everyone in this world deserves love and I shall pass no judgments for how someone chooses to pursue that happiness. What kind of Jewish education did YOU receive that you have been taught such venomous hate and judgment?

It must be a very scary world you live in and I feel terribly sorry for you. I hope one day you find happiness within yourself and don't have to seek it from a man or children in order to achieve it. In fact.. and this may be hard for you to believe..... but at this point in my life, this VERY point..... I have never been happier. And that is the truth.

Imagine that.

 
So I saw two movies on Friday and one on Saturday.

First I saw The Happening. Really, don't even get me started. In fact, I just read THE most brilliant review for it ever here. Go read it, but only if you have no intentions of seeing it because the review is chock full of spoilers. It's hilarious and made me realize even *more* just how absurd the movie concept was. Trust me.. at best, it's a rental. Don't waste your time in the theatres if you insist on wasting it at all.

However, the Incredible Hulk more than made up for my disappointment over The Happening. I went in with very low expectations (if you saw the Hulk movie in 2003 you'll know why) but was very pleasantly surprised by this new one. Great writing, decent special effects (I don't think there will ever be a computer generated Hulk I will be completely satisfied with) and just a well thought out movie. And a tie-in to the Iron Man movie! Awesome!!! Go see it, it was a great film and needs to be seen on the big screen. Oh and as an added bonus? It was filmed in Toronto! We locals really enjoyed seeing all the familiar landmarks of the main drag in Toronto during the big final fight scene.

I also saw the second Chronicles of Naria movie... er.... but I have no idea what happened in it. I really wish I had watched the first one over again because I had virtually NO recollection of it and it seriously impaired my enjoyment of the latest sequel. I'm not saying it was good or bad, I just didn't enjoy myself because I couldn't follow along (and it's a children's movie!!).

But enough about all that. There is something infinitely more exciting to discuss. For those who have been following lately, I have been gearing up to get a tattoo on my back sometime in the coming weeks. Today however, I went to a big tattoo convention going on here in Toronto with a couple of my friends and took along a few other tattoos I was interested in getting. I have a tattoo on my right ankle I want to cover up and I had some ideas I wanted to bounce off some tattoo artists there. Before I knew it.... I was gettin' inked! And I LOVE IT!!

Let us not mistaken "I LOVE IT" with "I LOVED GETTING IT!" because I really really did NOT. The guy doing my tattoo (I love you, Perry!) had the genius idea of going over my ankle..... as in that bone that juts out of your ankle with little more than a thin stretch of skin over it. No "meat", as it were. And can I just tell you? My language has *never* been so colourful. Mother*@ker was the word of the day and I called poor Perry that name more times than you could possibly imagine. I did not enjoy the process one iota and after all is said and done my ankle, though beautiful and colourful, is very very swollen.

I also learned some important things about my body and gettings tattoos. First, when a very sensitive spot is inked, repeatedly, it may cause you to twitch for a moment, quite involuntarily. Nothing like jerking your leg around and giving your guy a moving target. At least we soon learned which two spots were the nastiest and we both prepared for the inevitable reaction.

Second, and a much more important lesson, is to EAT before you sit down for a tattoo. It may seem counter-intuitive, but trust me it's not. I hadn't eaten for probably about 5 hours and even on a good day that's bad news for me; I tend to get shaky and nauseous if I don't feed the need and if left long enough I get a migraine.

In this case I indeed left it a little too long because I was so nervous that I didn't really feel hungry... in fact my body skipped almost completely past the shaky stage and went right into the nauseous stage. As Perry was working on the outline and the most painful part over my ankle (insert ridiculous amounts of swearing here) I noticed I was feeling.... not quite right. I lifted my arms and held my hands out and saw that I had the shakes. Uh oh, I thought. Then my head started to swim. I began looking around for one of my two other friends to beg them to get me food, and eventually one did come around to check on me. I told her I needed sugar, pronto, and I didn't care if it was a coke or a chocolate bar, I just needed it quick. Perry stopped the tattoo right away and asked if I was ok. I tried playing it cool and said I was just gettin' the shakes and would be fine as soon as I got the food; meanwhile, I'm checking out the garbage pail beside Perry and thinking... if I had to... I could puke there. But did I really want to do that in front of ALL these people? In front of the 16 yr old kid beside me who is being shockingly cool about getting his first tattoo (and it was BIG)? Not so much.

My friend returned with a muffin and a granola bar, but as she began to hand it to me I turned to her and said: "... I think it's too late..... I think I need to go puke now". Perry stands up immediately and announces he's going to walk with me to the bathroom because it is a long way away and he wants to make sure I get there ok. Once I started walking I realized why he said it... my head wasn't just a bit dizzy.... I was starting to get tunnel vision. Omigod, I thought, I'm going to pass out on the way to the bathroom and cause a scene. Little did I know until later that as I was making my way through the crowd, growing greener around the gills by the second, Perry was behind me motioning to the people ahead to clear the way. Such a sweet guy.

Anyway, by the time I got to the bathroom (after considering every garbage can along the way) and got myself locked into the stall and crouched in front of the toilet... it would not come up. I suppose it was because there was nothing TO bring up, but still. At this point I wanted it to, if nothing else than to give me some relief. But it was not to happen, so I picked myself back up, splashed some water on my face and headed back.

Perry gave me a few minutes to eat my muffin and within 5 mins my colour came back to my face and my stomach settled right down. Duh, I am such an idiot.

Anyway, below are some pictures and a video of my tattoo, before and after (pay particular attention to the one where I'm giving the thumbs up... that was before he started. my mood would shift rapidly after that. LOL!) Click on the images for a bigger size. I LOVE my new tattoo and all the detail and shading, even if my ankle is now swollen to twice it's normal size.

THANK YOU, PERRY!! You rock and you took my abuse and name calling like a trouper. And your work is beautiful; you were SO nice and patient and fabulous to work with. See you next year!!












































UPDATE: Got these pics from my friend Phil who was there to document the goodtimes. Go ahead and laugh at my pain, Phil did too.

 
Oh look out. I'm in a great mood. It's sunny and beautiful, the scent of potential new love is in the air (come on it's spring! lol), and it's FRIDAY. Not only is it Friday, but it's Friday the 13th, and given that I was born on a Friday the 13th this date tends to hold a special place in my heart.

And so many things around me to make me happy!! Going to see the new Incredible Hulk movie tonight. Then I want to see the new movie The Happening as soon as possible; so help me god if M. Night Shyamalan angers me like he did with The Village I'll kick his ass. That movie looked good, and was, right up until the end. If he does that again I might have to beat my $12 out of him.

And there is a tattoo convention going on here in Toronto this week, all weekend!! Giddy up!! I totally want to go!! Wouldn't be surprised if I walked out with a little work done. Besides that big tatt I want (see prior post if you're just joining) I have an ankle tattoo I would either like fixed up or covered up, and it's small enough that it could be done in an hour or so. We'll see. One tatt at a time. ;-)

And as icing on the cake, a new episode of Battlestar Galactica is on tonight. OH. YEAH!!!! Does it get any better than all this? I think not...

Labels: movies, tattoo

 
this one is for Angry Chad...

Labels: music

 

Yeah I didn't write again because I was busy pouting. I had a slight.... what should I call it?... falling out with my friend who was going to be doing my tattoo. This lead to some time spent in my cave being miserable because I was really looking forward to my tattoo and I don't like fighting with friends. I have tried to patch things up but I am getting silence on the other end.

I have picked myself up since and found someone else to do the work I want for the pricetag I am trying to keep it at so I'm pretty happy. Still trying to iron out when I will start the tattoo... either June 24/5th or July 7th. I'm trying to let go of my need for instant gratification and remind myself this is a permanent move, so sometimes waiting isn't bad. *pout*

I have made the foolish decision to give my mother the heads up prior to getting the tattoo this time; the last 3 times it was sprung upon her after the fact and the reaction was a range from crying the first time to the last in which she said "Jim! look what your daughter did". I notice I become my father's daughter when I do something my mother doesn't approve of. I also mistakenly thought that 3 tattoos later she would be used to the idea but she didn't seem keen on this one either. I regret telling her as her reaction has been a bit hurtful. I thought the tattoo was beautiful when I showed her the concept picture, she said it wasn't beautiful at all.
Made me sad. :-(

you be the judge..... the image in this post is the basic idea of what I am getting.
Yes it's big, I've heard quite enough of that. I'm well aware, people!
But it's pretty, no? I think so. :-)

Labels: tattoo

 
Oh boy.... it's happening again. That itch that needs to be scratched.....
The need for a tattoo.

It's been a number of years since my last tattoo (sounds like I'm in a confessional...) and frankly I thought I had managed to overcome the desire after only three, but in the last few days I have spent hours on various websites trying to hone my desires down to one concept. I have it down to two ideas and I will work out with my man Travis what we will do in the end. I am beyond excited about it and all going well I might get it on Sunday. Stay tuned on that front, coz this tattoo is gonna be a BIG one.

Having spent hours upon hours on various tattoo sites I can safely say I cannot always account for people's choices. I mean, we often make choices with our tattoos that we might not feel as strongly about later, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to ever tattoo myself with the word "slut" as I saw *repeatedly* on women. I have no idea why they thought that was a good idea.

Here are some other gems I found... be sure to click the pic for a larger image.

Oh HERE'S a beauty!!! Taking two of the most cliched tattoos (the butterfly and the dolphin) and COMBINING them!!! Wow, there are no words for such a monstrosity, let alone one so very large on the girl's back. The only consolation is that she won't have to look at it all the time. She can kinda forget it's there.




This one you should really click on to enjoy the full size... go ahead, I'll wait here. Stunning, isn't it? Sure is! And that's right, you're seeing a chicken dressed up as a nun! And why not, really. It was my first choice for my next tattoo but upon seeing this I didn't want to come across as a copy cat, so.....

A strangely recurring/common theme in the tattoo world is one of the male and female genitals. Disturbingly, they are often mutated into creatures or monsters or.... well... just have a look at this "cockstrich". I'm not sure what I like more about it.... the old school military garb on the guy riding it or the seemingly superfluous cupid with an erect penis flying overhead. I cannot possibly imagine what this person was going for, I really can't.




Perhaps the cockstrich chap is friends with this fella who thinks penises also make beautiful butterflies. Really? Because I gotta tell ya.... a penis is not exactly the most attractive part of a man, no matter how you try to pretty it up. The squirting ejaculation doubling as antenna are a nice touch. Pure class, gentlemen.

Here's one my sister-in-law would appreciate, given that she too is a librarian. This is like some kinda badd-ass rogue librarian.... coz whoever heard of a librarian who gets tattoos?? Kudos to the librarian who goes against social expectation!







Now HERE'S a tattoo I can get behind.... a cereal themed tattoo! I mighta chosen something closer to my heart like Booberry or Frankenberry, but Toucan Sam gets my respect just the same. In fact, hats off the person who loves his cereal so much that it required a tattoo love-profession. Even *I* don't love my cereal that much and anyone who knows me knows I loves my cereal.

And last but not least...... I of course need to give a nod to something in Hebrew. This one has a Matrix feel to it, which gives it bonus points. You can't go wrong combining two loves (unless of course it involves butterflies and dolphins in which case you might need to have your head examined).



Alright, that's it for now. Perhaps I shall entertain you with more again.... this has been an amusing way to start the day. ;-)

Labels: tattoo

 
Ooo, it's very exciting. It's like waiting for your acceptance letters to see which university/college you got into. As I was munching on my delicious bowl of Vanilla Mini Wheats this morning my mother shouted out a mail call; my MRI letter is here. Eek! How exciting! What will the magical date be?? August? September??

Here in Canada such diagnostic procedures may well be free but it means waiting for months on end to get an appointment. I had to wait nearly 2 months just to see the liver specialist who then spoke to me for 10 minutes and set me up with yet more tests months in the future. My ultrasound is in August but I lucked out with my MRI and have an appointment at the end of July. So high is the demand for such appointments that they actually run the machine 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! I guess when it's free people are more willing to go and doctors are more willing to dole out the procedure. *shrug* By the time this is over it will have taken probably about 8 months to get an answer about what this tumour is on my liver. Good thing they don't think it's malignant, but just to be sure......

Anyway, screw all that. Guess what!?!?
I got me a PROMOTION yesterday!! Yay!! Finally better pay and title for what I have already been doing for a year or more now! Woot woot! You may go ahead and call me the senior training and merchandising specialist for eastern Canada. Or senior sales rep, if that's easier. lol!

 
1) play with my cats. feed my cats. snuggle with my cats. take pictures of my cats.

2) go on Facebook and create more flair.

3) break open the fresh box of crayons I got from the dollar store yesterday and draw and/or colour something. Maybe I could finally colour my Cat Castle.

4) play some ridiculous game I just found called Comboll. The music is weirdly hypnotic and I cannot help myself.

5) Stumble Stumble. Stumble. If you have not discovered the joy/addiction of StumbleUpon I advise you to stay away. Far away. Whatever you do, do not TRY IT. You will end up clicking the Stumble button over and over and over again like a rat looking for his reward.... just one more click..... one more... You will lose hours of your life and have no explanation for it. It's best you claim you were abducted by aliens.

6) catch up on shows I've missed or always wanted to watch on Surf The Channel, the world's best website ever.

7) play Titan Quest. Yes I'm a she-geek, shuttup. You know it's hot.

8) ponder my love for peanut butter.

9) read Battlestar Galactica forums and lay my bets on who the final cylon is.

10) make a big bowl of popcorn and a giant glass of Airborne. The lunch of champions! (and those sick with a cold)

11) sing the ole Richie Valens song, Oh Donna, loudly and out of key while tapping my fingers along on my desk.

12) Laugh at stupid people. Repeatedly.

Really, I'd rather do just about anything than my paperwork.

 
I just received a message on StumbleUpon that read:

5:08pm Hi,

I would seriously love to buy a pair of your well-worn shoes or boots!

Sincerely,
bootlicker



Dear bootlicker503:

Um.. no.
Thanks, but ew.

sincerely,
celestial blue

 
First of all, I commend anyone who has the patience to check back here to see if I've written anything. And thanks to those who raised their hands.

Without further ado, let me catch you up on the last few months....

- I believe I last left off saying I was heading to Atlanta for work. I spent a week in cold rainy weather in sales meetings all day. I'd like to say it was exciting but it really wasn't. Luckily I love the people I work with, so it was fun in that respect. A week later a tornado went through Atlanta and hit the hotel I had stayed in. Did I mention that my one big fear is tornadoes? *gulp*

- After I got back from Atlanta I had all of a few days to pack and move out of my apartment and back in with the parents. It was a nightmare and I am still looking for the box with all my shoes. I finally gave up and just bought new shoes.

So far living with the parents is going quite well and we all get along famously. My cat is happy to have me home and is stuck to me like glue at all times (this very moment included). The plan is to knuckle down and save money for a year to buy my own place. So far so good, I have my credit cards paid off and now I have a line of credit to pay off from my last trip to Israel.

- After getting an ultrasound back in February that showed some kind of tumour on my liver I had been waiting 6 weeks to see the liver specialist (welcome to Canada where it's free if you don't mind waiting a few months!). I finally saw said doctor last week who promptly took 7 vials of blood and told me I will be getting another ultrasound and an MRI to determine whether or not this tumour should be removed (he doesn't think it's malignant, but wants to be sure with the MRI). Lucky me, I get to wait until August.

- In an exciting, if not surreal, set of events.... I was standing in a post office filling out paperwork for a package when suddenly an SUV drove through the front of the store. Yeah you heard me. I just sort of stood there in shock for a moment... and asked the guy who owns the place (he was behind the counter).... "Did that really just happen?" Indeed it did and at that point the fella behind the wheel was now backing out of the store taking half the front of it with him and just missing my car by inches. After a few more frozen moments I walked outside to check on the driver and assess the damage. Eventually 2 fire trucks and an ambulance appeared, and of course, all kinds of cops. I had to stick around for an hour to give my statement and to be the voyeur by taking pictures on my cell phone. It was a crazy, crazy day.

- I'm kinda cooking up another blog..... I'll share when it's ready (probably tomorrow) but want to make sure I start to get back into the rhythm of writing again first. Blogging was much easier when I wasn't on the road so much, and often by the time I get home I just wanna crash. The new blog will be themed, so that should help. Pet lovers will enjoy. ;-)

- work is kicking my butt the last few months, and the last few weeks in particular. I'm hustling for a promotion, so it's all work and no play for this girl. If living with the parents didn't cramp this single girl's lifestyle, working long hours will do it. Dating has become a write off as I have time for little more than work and sleep. I'm a fun girl.

- a special shout-out goes to Mulder in Israel for being persistent enough to keep trying to reach me; you are a better friend than I am. I miss you! And to My Big Gay Daddy who remembered it was my 9 year celebration/birthday yesterday; you were only one of two who remembered. I adore you with all my heart for remembering.

Nu? Was that enough for now? If I think of anything else I shall post again.