Tuesday, February 08, 2011
pondering rebirth
As I have been contemplating kick starting this blog again... and/or possibly starting another..... I thought about a cousin of mine that used to enjoy reading my blog. I didn't ever give this blog address out to any friends or family, rather, I enjoyed the anonymity of blogging without having to worry about self-editing of my thoughts.

I had created a separate blog for friends and family 5 years ago when I went on a 3 month trip to Israel, and kept this one on the go at the same time. But when I returned from my trip my "friends and family blog" fell by the wayside as I focused on this blog once again. So my cousin (my mother's cousin, I guess.. he's her age) poked around the internet a bit until he found this one and he secretly read it. I started to catch on when my site tracker on both blogs reflected his location, and he did eventually confess to me that he couldn't help it, he just loved to read my blog. He promised he wouldn't ever reveal to anyone what I wrote on here, understanding that I confessed things on here that I didn't to my family. I was flattered that he enjoyed my writing so much and trusted that he would keep mum about what he read, which he did.

So a few days ago I wondered if he was still checking in here once in a while or if I'd have to let him know I dusted it off. And no sooner did I think about him, wondered how he was, and if he'd be happy to read this again, then I got the news that he had passed away. My mother called me on Monday and sobbed that his wife had gone to the bedroom to say good night to him after he went to bed early, and she found that he was gone....

I've been so sad since. He would have liked me carrying this on..... would have enjoyed reading my silly thoughts on world issues and my tales of life and love. I'll miss him and maybe I'll hope he's still reading, somehow.... somewhere....

I'll miss you, cousin Jimmy.

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