Sunday, February 27, 2005
whispers from my mind
I've been feeling quiet since Friday.... just not much to say, I guess. I had a great night on Friday, out curling with my friends. I'll post pictures in the next day or two, right now I'm moving all my picture hosting to a new server so I don't have time to upload them right now.

Today I spoke to a friend of mine in Tel Aviv. He really wants me to do this trip to Israel, though he's worried that this Livnot group is going to try and brainwash me and make me all religious. I assured him I would be fine. But the more I talked to him about money the more I realized that it's a pretty slim chance I'll be able to round up $7,000 for this trip (and that's a conservative number, leaving little for personal spending). *sigh* So I am a little depressed about the whole thing today. I'll go ahead and apply for all the financing I can get my paws on, but I don't want to get my hopes up. :-/

Tonight I am getting together with a couple of friends for Oscar night. We're gonna go grab a whole bunch of junk food, order dinner in, veg in front of the tv, look at all the pretty people and cast our votes for who we think will win. Should be a nice night to take my mind off things. Hopefully tomorrow will be the start of a better week than last week......

Friday, February 25, 2005
remember that cease-fire between Israel and the Palestinians?
A suicide bombing in Tel Aviv. So far 4 reported dead, over 50 injured. The Islamic Jihad and the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades both claimed responsibility for the blast.

I haven't the words....only rage and tears.
And more rage.

stress is my middle name
Firstly, let me thank you all for your words of support and encouragement. I was drifting towards a "no" on my debate over this possible trip to Israel (if you have no idea what I am talking about, read yesterday's post) and after reading all your words I have drifted back towards "yes".

I also received some encouragement, advice and insight from a fellow blogger. Much to my delight I got a phonecall from ck of Jewlicious fame! It's always fun connecting with other bloggers so I was thrilled to sit on the phone with him and just chill and chat it up for an hour or so. Talk about a super-sweet guy! (and he's Israeli..... and, well, we know how I feel about such things. LOL!) Anyway, he's given me a few pointers and told me a bit more about the program which was a great help. Thanks, ck!!!

All that being said, I have decided to accept the slot in the program and will begin the process of begging for money. Don't go and get all excited and start applauding me just yet... I am a long way from actually being able to go. There is a LOT of money that I will need to raise if I am seriously going to go. Anyone got a few thousand dollars laying around that they would like to share with me? No? :-/ I didn't think so... I'll keep looking.

Having made this small step towards the larger decision I have now become an incredible stress-puppy. It's all I think about now and I can feel my body functioning at a heightened sense of stress because of it; my heart is beating a bit faster, I can feel my blood pressure is slightly elevated, my stomach turns and flips as I debate how I will struggle to get money and how I will tell everyone that I am going. The whole thing just pretty much has me freaking out, but on a quiet nearly subconscious level. It's like screaming on the inside, and no one can hear. There are the fleeting moments where I think of it in a less stressful light.... sometimes I imagine what it will be like and dream about spending time in Israel. But those moments are few and far between as I quickly snap back to reality and think... am I crazy to be considering this!?!

It doesn't help that I've had a shitty week at work. Yesterday I had a particularly stressful meeting with some higher-ups (of a customer company, not mine) that didn't go well at all. During the meeting (in a tiny and hot boardroom with 8 of us crowded inside) I kept drifting in and out of attentiveness as people talked. I felt like I was having truly surreal moments of awareness as I watched my marketing manager pleading his case to his biggest customer. I just stared, not really hearing the words, and I thought.... what the hell am I doing here? Here we all are... sitting in our fancy suits and whatnot... pleading for some guy to give us his business. Is this where I imagined I would be one day? Is this where I am supposed to be? Then of course I drifted to thoughts of Israel and whether I should be going or not. Or more accurately, if I can afford to go or not. I was brought back to reality when I heard my name being mentioned and I realized it was my cue to speak.

But I digress. It's Friday afternoon now and I am trying to find a way to calm down and unwind for the weekend. I will go to the gym after work, which will help. Then I will eat and have a nap. And then later tonight I am meeting my friends and we are going to do some late-night curling (11pm - 1am). Yes, you heard me.....curling. No, despite being Canadian, I have no idea how to curl. In fact, I'm not even entirely clear on the rules of curling... I know one person sends a round rock sliding down the ice and a couple of others sweep the ice with brooms...and that there's a whole lotta yelling. But that's about it. I've never done it, and neither have most of the friends that will be joining me. But we figured, what the hey! It should be amusing if nothing else. Upon mentioning this to my mother I was informed that her father was a great curler back in his days.... too bad he died when I was 3, I would love to have gotten to know him. Perhaps I will be able to conjure the ghost of Grandpa Bill and he can help me play.

shabat shalom, folks!

Wednesday, February 23, 2005
to go to Israel or not go to Israel..... that is the question
Sometime in the last few weeks I had been on a website called The Livnot Experience (or Livnot U'Lehibanot), which is a foundation that is responsible for helping Jews connect with Israel as well as their Jewish roots. This is done through such programs as the Birthright trips that will take people aged 21- 26 to Israel for a free 10 -14 day trip. I had been on the website trying to find information on how an oldster like me (ie: over the age of 26) could get in on this 'free trip to Israel' action. I want to see more of Israel. I want to be a part of all this exciting stuff, and we all know I have deep affection for the country. I went on this site to basically beg for someone to pay for me to go to Israel and be part of something I can only presently dream about from afar. I had filled out a form on the site for information on the 5 month program and about possible funding/financial assistance since I presently have less than zero in my bank account (savings clearly never being my strong point, what can I say?). After I filled that out... I forgot all about it (likely because all similar requests I have made for such help from other places have thus far been rejected).

Fast forward a week or two to this past Sunday; I was in my car driving home after an early morning of meditation. My cellphone rang and when I looked at the call display I could tell that it was likely a call from someone in Israel. Figuring I knew who it was I answered quite enthusiastically only to find it was not the person I thought it was, but in fact was someone from the Livnot offices in Israel. At first I had completely forgotten that I had filled out the form on the website ( you know how many doors I've knocked on for information and financial assistance??) but she quickly jogged my memory. We talked for a little bit about the program I was interested in and about possible financial aid. At this point my heart was racing... what am I thinking?? FIVE months in Israel?? Finally the woman said that if I liked she could do the interview for the program now on the phone instead of waiting for me to fill in an application. I figured, why not? she's on the phone anyways... *gulp*

She began asking me all kinds of questions... what's my interest in Israel and the program? am I involved in the Jewish community now? what's my interest in learning more about Judaism? what was my religious upbringing? (there's where things got interesting... LOL) what do I hope to gain from such a trip? have I been to Israel before? etc etc... After fumbling my way through the interview process the woman informed me that she thought I would be great for the program and that she would pre-approve my acceptance into it. All I had to do was go online and fill out an application and then I can apply for financial assistance. *double gulp*

So there you have it. I have been accepted into Livnot's 5 month program .... now I just gotta figure out if this is even possible, and weighing the pros and cons has been taking up some serious space in my head. I have been racking my brain for the last 3 days trying to decide if this is something I can (and should) do. The decision making process is eating me alive at the moment.

The first problem is that I am a realistic thinker, and this likely holds me back. But the reality is this: if I choose to go to Israel for 5 months I will have to give up my apartment, so I will have nowhere to live when I return (living with my parents has about as much appeal as gargling shards of glass). I will likely lose my job, coz most employers aren't so keen to just give you 5 months off to go run around Israel. Someone will need to replace me, and therefore my job will get filled in my absence. I will likely lose my car since it is, afterall, a company vehicle. Makes that job thing look like a bigger loss, now doesn't it? Yes, I would come back from my trip to no job, no home and no way of even getting around. Oh, and I'll be in even greater debt, let's not forget that. Coz even if I get some financial aid, it's likely not going to cover it all. I have no real ties to Jewish groups or synagogues here, so I can't really ask for aid from them. Must find another way....

Speaking of financial aid... when I was looking into all this online I found out I have to put a security deposit down ($100!) to secure my spot in the program before I can apply for financial aid. So... I have to give a hundred bucks just to find out if I will get enough money to go. If I am not granted enough financing then I can't go and I am out the $100. That's a bit annoying, I must say.

So what am I to do? I know it's easy enough for you all to sit back and read this and think... just go for it! Take the risk! But in my world, that's an *awfully* big risk. I will lose all that I have established, and starting over again at 31 (which I will be upon my return) is not only unappealing but taking several steps backwards in my life. The tough part of this equation is that for that 5 months not only will I not be earning any money... I'll be spending what little I already have.

However, I have not lost sight of the pros in this situation. Let's face it... this is an opportunity of a lifetime. Five months in Israel would be a dream for me, especially in a program like this. I have looked at this tour of Livnot and drooled at the idea of living in a group environment, hiking all over beautiful Israel, learning more about Judaism, volunteering, and just drinking up the entire experience. The last two months of the program is free for you to pursue an avenue of your choosing (volunteering, interning, studying Hebrew) and of course I would love to spend it in an ulpan studying Hebrew. However, the cost of the Hebrew course would not be covered, so that would be more money added to the bill for my already expensive trip. Figures I would want to do something that costs more! In the end we all know this is something I am dying to do... but at what cost?

*sigh* So what to do...... what to do. Do I talk to the employer first about getting the time off or do I apply for financing to see if I can even go? No point in rocking the boat before I find out if I can even afford to go, right? But if I can't get the time off...can I even consider going? Chicken vs Egg situation here. The cost looks like this: $3500 (USD), unless I find some housing of my own in Israel for the last two months, in which case it would "only" be $2800 (USD). But of course, that doesn't include the plane ticket or spending money, so let's tack on another $2500 (CAN) onto that tab. Oh! And Hebrew studies... so... maybe another $1500? I don't know, I'll have to look into it. Should I even bother factoring in the bills that have to be paid back home (I owe the government some money... they'd like it back)? Nah.. let's not make this seem *entirely* impossible.

Ok. So. We're looking at... about $5,500 USD.... which, now that I am typing it out, is a friggin' joke. Unless I win the lottery... this is farther away than I thought. Maybe I could do some fundraising? A blogathon? carwashing? lol Damn.... I'm gonna have to think about this a little more.
Any suggestions? Anyone wanna give me a job when I get back to Toronto, if I go?
Can someone tell me why I am even considering this??

Tuesday, February 22, 2005
another quake
Just before I went to bed last night I checked the news on and read that there had been an earthquake in Iran. At that point reports seemed to indicate that despite the fact that it was a fairly strong earthquake, casualties were 'relatively' low (at that time I think it was 30 dead). I thought back to the earthquake they had a year ago and how I said on my blog that I thought there would be more to come (and there has been...Israel, Turkey, Iran, Southeast Asia, etc..). However I felt that compared to last year's earthquake, Iran had been lucky ("only" 30 dead). Then I checked the news when I woke up this morning and I saw that the reports show much more devastation than first reported. Almost 300 dead, 1000 wounded. My heart goes out to those affected...

I dream of Israelis
I have a new crush... it's the shawarma guy down the street from me. *dreamy*
I was looking to grab a quick bite of food last night before heading to a movie with my friends so I decided to head to this shawarma place near my house that I had been meaning to check out. I heard it was run by a couple of Israelis, and we all know I am fond of those, so off I went to investigate. I went in with another friend of mine and found two gentlemen behind the counter, both very friendly. Immediately the cute one asked if I spoke Hebrew (obviously having spotted my star of david necklace that I picked up in Israel) and I answered that I only spoke a little. I began chatting up the two gentlemen saying that I heard that this place was run by a couple of Israelis and that's why I had come to check it out, and the older guy said that his friend there was from Haifa. I remarked that I had just been there last fall and how much I loved it, etc.. etc... Basically I was melting while chatting to the cute boy from Haifa coz he had gorgeous eyes and an adorably shy demeanor. I think I may be eating a lot of shawarma in the coming weeks... I must go there alone to see him again! (I don't think going in with a guy friend helped my chances any. lol) *sigh* Me likes the Israeli boys!! I think I'm just going to have to marry one.

As side note to that story, I saw the movie Constantine last night, starring Keanu Reeves. My geek friends and I just had to go see it because it is, afterall, based on a comic book we are quite familiar with and love. I had extremely low expectations going into it as I had been reading nothing but bad reviews about the film, but ya know what? It wasn't the worst film I have ever seen! (that award still currently goes to the Christian Slater vehicle "Alone in the Dark") I thought the effects were pretty well done and the story wasn't altogether too bad. So don't be scared off by crappy reviews if you were interested in going... just go! Decide for yourself (and make sure you don't expect too much of it. lol).

In a completely unrelated note, know what I noticed the other day? I noticed that despite being right handed, I favour the left side first on many activities. When I shave my legs, I do the left one first (this is what got me thinking about it... I just happened to notice while in the shower the other day). I put my left leg into my pants first, put my left sock and shoes on first... and when putting on my coat, the left arm goes in first (unless someone is holding it for me, in which case I strangely opt to put the right arm in first). In fact, when I pull a shirt on over my head I put my left arm through the sleeve first. *shrug* Weird, no?

Sunday, February 20, 2005
And the winner is.....
I have been rather slow in posting about this but the votes have be tallied and the winners announced for the Jewish & Israeli Blog Award. For a full list of the winners head over to Dave's post at Treppenwitz. And while I placed third in the preliminaries I was trounced right proper in the final bid for "Best Personal Blog". I'd be upset but I can't help but be happy and proud to have even found myself in the same category with such fine blogs. Truly, a year and half ago when I was trying to get this blog off the ground I never thought anyone would even notice my little blip on the radar. Yet less than a year after I began I was in Israel meeting up with a group of Israeli bloggers, many of whom I look up to admire for their fine work. A few months later I found myself nominated along with some of those wonderful blogs and was honoured to be considered in the same class. Wow. This well and truly has been a privilege.

Thank you to all of you for your support and votes (with a special thanks to Occasional Bitch for the amazing "vote for celestial blue button"), thank you to Dave over at Israellycool for his exhaustive efforts in running these awards and a big thanks to all the other bloggers who were nominated and won, you have been an inspiration. Congratulations to all the winners!

Friday, February 18, 2005
random stuff floating through my brain
Ok look.. enough is enough. The hockey season is dead. Now, GET OVER IT. I'm sick of hearing people whine about it. Yesterday, all friggin' morning, that was all the people on every radio station were talking about. Boo hoo. I personally have enjoyed the lack of hockey clogging up my television viewing options... does that make me a bad Canadian? Here, I'll redeem myself : this morning I took a couple of pictures of a cool mural on a building depicting some key Canadian achievements and heroes. Go to my photoblog or click here and here. See? I'm feeling more patriotic already.

I have been talking to Katie-Yael quite a bit about aliyah (moving to Israel). She is in the midst of preparing to leave New York to move to Israel this year and I have been very interested in following her progress and learning about how it's done. No reason, of course.... *whistles and looks away*. The more I read about her journey the more I turn green with envy and start reconsidering it myself. But this always happens to me... my ambition to follow that madcap dream tends to ebb and tide with my moods. Right now I have a good friend in Tel Aviv who is *heavily* pressuring me to go over for Pesach (Passover) in April but I am hesitant to go as I am still paying off my credit cards from the *last* two trips. Do I seriously think I can afford to go to Israel every year?? Perhaps I should have my head (and bank account!) examined.

Last night was a glorious night... season 10 of Survivor started. Yes, I love the show, but more than that I love that it gives me a guarantee that at least once a week I will see my bestest buddy Princess Blondie. This Thursday night ritual of watching the show together began last year when she and her beau Bruno were living across the hall from me in my apartment building, and now we have carried on the tradition even though they have moved out and bought a house of their own. Last night I brought all the ingredients and made dinner for them as a thanks for all the times they have fed me on Survivor night. The show was great and it promises to be an interesting season (I have already picked my favourite players, Angie and Coby).

Since masturbation has been such a topic of conversation on this blog lately (is this what has become of my blog??) allow me to share two more amusing searches that brought folks to my blog:
"can catholic girls masturbate" Of course they can! But will they? See the prior post on this topic.
And my new personal favourite: "get ready to watch me masturbate" Alright...I'm ready!! On your mark... get set... masturbate!!

I am looking forward to my weekend, including my meditation group on Sunday. Although getting up at 7am on a Sunday isn't my favourite thing ever I find that I feel very good afterwards, and I have made it part of my overall plan in moving towards a healthier lifestyle. That includes body, mind and soul. Last week was especially amusing as two of the guys in the group could clearly be heard snoring during the meditation. Talk about relaxed! I took a picture of the sign outside the door I enter to join the group. Just coz. *shrug*

Lately I have noticed a disturbing trend in a couple of my friends; depression. Both friends have talked to me about it and both are taking on anti-depressants. My heart aches as I feel helpless to do anything for them other than empathic having spent most of my life depressed myself. I don't know what else to do but listen and make whatever caring gestures I can (I like to send notes and cards... coz who doesn't like to get REAL mail??). *sigh* Why can't we all be happy at the same time?

Anyway! I hope you all have a great weekend. Shabat Shalom!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
"Bush neglects planet earth"
Or so says this article which actually does a pretty good job of outlining what a boneheaded move it was for Bush to stay out of the Kyoto Protocol, which was finally launched today. So while many of the top nations of the world are joining forces to help save the environment from a complete disaster in the future, the US is sitting on the sidelines saying it's just too darned tough and expensive to do. Yes, I guess when you are the biggest contributor to the world's pollution you wouldn't exactly be in a hurry to take all the drastic measures necessary to help fix the problem.

I mean, I get that it's going to be a tough thing to do... sacrifices and compromises will have to be made and belts will have to be tightened... but is the future of our planet not worth it? Can we not stop being consumers for just one second and instead be citizens of a planet in trouble? Let's face it.. the world can't keep going on like this and at *some* point we have to recognize that hard changes are going to have to be made. We aren't going to like it, and it will be rough at first... but what choice do we really have? We made this mess and we have to clean it up. Besides... we're not asking that you stop all emissions.... we're asking for a 7% reduction. Is that really so much to ask? Heck, your good buddy Tony Blair even asked you to do it... and he stood up for you when you asked him to do something really tough!

So why didn't Australia join? Coz they said they wouldn't unless the USA joined. I'm sorry, but that's the lamest excuse I have ever heard. That sounds like a diva who won't sign on to do a film unless another big name is attached to it. Don't you suppose that if YOU signed up maybe you could help sway Bush to do the same? Don't wait until someone else makes the move first... make the first move yourself, even if it means makes some hard changes.

Oh and by not joining Bush is making things that much more difficult for his country's biggest trading partner... Canada. "The US is Canada's major trading partner (and vice versa), so with Canadian companies having to pay for emissions, and US companies not, the fear is that Canadian companies will not be able to compete on a fair trading ground. In one example a company can sell natural gas to the US to be burned in an electrical plant to produce electricity. That gas, burned in the US, is not subject to "Kyoto tax". However if that same plant were operated in Canada, the gas would be taxed as it was burned. That would result in the same electricity costing more if produced locally."

To those who would say that global warming just isn't happening.... have you not noticed that the world is experiencing some rather bizarre and disastrous events? It's time to do something, now, before it's too late. And yes, everybody needs to chip in and stop making excuses as to why they should excluded.

good girls do
To the person who found my website by typing "do jewish girls masturbate?" ... the answer is yes, though many will lie if directly asked. In fact I'll bet Catholic girls masturbate too. And Protestants. And Muslims, though they would never in a million years admit to it for fear of repercussions. Let's face it... everyone does it, just not everyone will admit it. but thanks for asking!

Oh and would any of the 20 or so visitors a day who find my blog through an image search on Google that lead them to this picture and then to my blog please tell me why there has suddenly been a huge surge in demand for this picture and perhaps even explain how it lead to me? Thanks, coz I am not sure why in the last week or so that picture has suddenly become so damn popular.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005
me and MJ
There are only 4 degrees of separation between me and Michael Jackson. A prize goes to the person who can name the three other degrees (all famous!) between me and Mr. Jackson. The only hint I can offer is that the first degree is someone from Canada and yes, this person has been mentioned in one of my blogs before. In fact, one of the blogs in my blogroll actually posted a picture of the first degree yesterday for Valentine's Day...

Come on, ya like a puzzle don'tcha? A brain tease?
Actually, it was my mom who pointed it out to me after watching some of the MJ fiasco on tv. Wow, I feel so much closer to it now. *snore* Oh yeah, and for the 3 people who read this and know me in person, you can't comment! cheaters!! (that means YOU Mulder, Melra and Stimpy!)

Oh, and as a side note if you want to see some of the most hilarious commercials (and awesome movie trailers) from the Superbowl click here (it even has some of the ones that were banned).

when bloggers talk
Ok, I need some help here from my trusty readers to settle a debate involving robots. Yes, you heard me, ROBOTS. Mulder and I are having the debate on MSN Messenger right now.... the conversation went like this:

Mulder: I'm just supermarketing online. just bought humus :) the good stuff
celestial blue: I WANT SOME!!! *crycry*
Mulder: somehow I still buy too much.. even when I sit in my home :)
celestial blue: I used to shop online all the time until they stopped letting me pay with my bank card at the door. I didn't want to charge it to my credit card because I would never pay it off. so now I'm a big girl and get them on my own even out in the snow, sleet and rain
Mulder: yeah... but u got a car.. I only got my scrawny shoulders... they can only take so much before they give :P
celestial blue: yow, good point. I always wondered what I'd do if I had to drag groceries home that way. shrivel up and die, I think. or get one of them thar buggies
Mulder: the little golf carts for old ppl maybe?
celestial blue: no no, just a wire buggy.. like an overgrown wirebasket on wheels
Mulder: oh I know that... dont think its big enuf for my needs though. wont fit the box of mineral water :) I need a robot
celestial blue: a robot! a fine idea. get one of those!
Mulder: a nice one. with lights :)
celestial blue: and one that clicks and beeps and whistles
Mulder: it'll beep and clear the way as I drag my sorry ass back home from the market
celestial blue: maybe it could carry you if you are too tired
Mulder: maybe. but then what with all the groceries?
celestial blue: well the groceries go in a compartment in his front or back. maybe up his ass just so you get stares. then his arms are free to carry you
Mulder: u got my robot all figured out aint u? :D
celestial blue: and yes, I should probably mention your robot is quite a size... maybe you were thinking of C3PO, but i was thinking of a big walking box sort of deal
Mulder: box? I'm not sitting in a box ! :P
celestial blue: no the box is CARRYING you! tsk
Mulder: I do no want to be carried in a box! unless I am dead that is
celestial blue: you're not IN the box. the GROCERIES are in the box. he's carrying you.. like in his arms...or maybe piggy-back style
Mulder: see? that robot would be a bitch to market... "come ride in the box!"
celestial blue: ok, you're SO not listening. lol
Mulder: the silly japanese would let a robot carry them or piggyback them.. we israelis have seen enuf evil robot movies to know better :D
celestial blue: lol
Mulder: I mean com'on.. just visualize it.. would u be caught carried by a robot? or worse: piggybacking it?
celestial blue: absolutely!! coz everyone would be insanely jealous!
Mulder: Mmmm... I donno how to break it to you.. they won't. they'd be peeing in their pants laughing
celestial blue: pfft. you know nothing. people would be running up and asking for a ride
Mulder: CHILDREN would.. maybe. ask anybody. ask ur mom :)
celestial blue: alright then, I will
Mulder: she'll probably commit u though LOL
celestial blue: nah - unh.. I'm gonna post about it!
Mulder: good thing I dont post about ppl carrying evil robots

Ok, so ignore the fact that this is what I am doing with my day at work and really, the absurdity of the whole conversation, and tell me... who would be up for a ride on an awesome looking robot?? Are ya up for it?? Do you not think it would be supercool to have your own personal robot to carry you around whenever you get tired? Or who would carry your groceries for you (AND you if you so desired??) Robots are awesome!!
Agree or disagree. Discuss.

Monday, February 14, 2005
my tv habit
So over the weekend I finally got a chance to catch up on all the tv shows I taped and then was able to curl up at home last night and enjoy a tv night in which I got to watch as my shows were actually aired. I had nearly a week of shows to catch up on and found that most of them made me cry, or at the very least, tear up. Joan of Arcadia has really become one of my favourite shows in the last year or two. I often get a little teary eyed watching it. I can't recall if Third Watch made me cry, but it often does. And yes, Battlestar Galactica made me cry. Twice! (I taped two episodes) And I cannot reiterate this enough, I love this new Battlestar Galactica show. And then of course there is the one show that makes me cry every Sunday without fail... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Hell, this week's episode was a 2 hour special that had me reaching for a hanky in the first 5 minutes! You gotta love a reality show that is actually about HELPING people by giving them a home, and often a car or job or a paid-off mortgage. They take people whose lives are in shambles and they ....*sniff....they pick them up and...*SNIFF*... dust them off and stand them back up on their feet. It's beautiful I tells ya!!

Anyway...wanna see the most awesome bird ever?? click here! (hat tip: occasional bitch)

Sunday, February 13, 2005
and the big question is.....
who will blink first? Israel or the Palestinians?
Yes indeed, there is a cease fire going on, and terrorist organization Hamas has said they will hold to the truce. Will pigs actually fly? Stay tuned and we shall find out!
Let's all keep our fingers crossed for peace, shall we?

Consequently, did anyone watch tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives? At the risk of writing a spoiler segment here (you have been warned if you watch the show!) there was a moment when two characters, a husband and wife, were trying to work to save their failing marriage. The husband had admitted to his wife that he likes to be "dominated" in the bedroom and was explaining what he likes and how it's done. In the course of the discussion he explained that a code word is often decided upon ahead of time so that if either party becomes uncomfortable the code word could be spoken and the fantasy would stop immediately. She asked him what word he used and he replied "Philadelphia". She in turn said that she didn't want to use that because an aunt lived in Philadelphia and she did not want to think about her while spanking her husband. He relented and said that she could select a word. She then chose "Boise" to which he replied that it was a funny sounding word that would ruin the moment. The word, he said, should be a serious one. After a moment of thought the wife replied: "Palestine".

say WHAT???

search engine hits
Every so often I like to compile a list of some of my favourite search engine results that brought people to my page. These are the odd combinations of words that often make me wonder.... what were they thinking and WHY did the search bring them to my page?? So without further ado, here are some of the more amusing searches that sent poor hapless souls to my page:

"circumcised blog boyfriend" Why, I didn't know you could circumcise a BLOG! Must be a kosher blog....

"road kill" Um... why would you need to look this up? go for a drive, I'm sure you'll find some.

"Juggernaut" surprisingly I get this one a LOT. In a post long ago I mentioned the comic book character and *linked* to a picture.. I didn't even post the a pic! And still people land here search for Juggernaut.

"Joanna Kerns" This search is good for a couple of reasons. (1) Joanna Kerns (2) someone in HOLLAND was searching for Joanna Kerns... and got me. Was she big in the Netherlands??

"Gatchaman" and "Gatchaman drove all night" These make me happy coz I love Gatchaman. What is it? It's an old cartoon, originally from Japan but imported to North America in the late 70's/early 80's (and then called Battle of the Planets). Casey Kasem did the voice for the main character, which is cool if you know who he is. If you don't I suppose it's not cool at all. ok, let me help you out... he also did the voice of Shaggy in the old Scooby-Doo cartoon. NOW it's cool, hunh??

"sorting who I am and watching movies" Ah yes, I can see why someone would be lead right to my blog... this is exactly how I sort out who I am too.

"history of uludag gazoz" Once again, someone in the Netherlands found me through Google. This search for the tasty beverage from Turkey known as Uludag brought the person to me because I had mentioned the drink a few times. I love it.

"I am Wasted" Are ya? so....why would you type that into a search engine? lol Ya weren't sure?

"I AM SORRY PICTURES" Firstly... this person must *really* be sorry, coz it was typed totally in caps. Secondly... if you're sorry I think you should be looking for words, not pics. SAY you're sorry!!!

"catchy phrases on Smallmouth bass" Oh lord, please tell me you weren't looking for Big Mouth Billy Bass.

"i am really a blur person" You're a WHAT now? a blur person? what the frig does that mean?? (amusingly, Wil Wheaton's blog came in first for the search engine results. maybe I should ask him?)

"i am sick today my sweetheart" Ok, I don't even know what to say about this one....I'm stumped.

"when do girls start to masturabate" Long before they actually admit to doing it. "techniques for girls to masturbate" ??? do what feels right, my friend. lol. it's not rocket science.

"i am a muslim girl, can i masturbate" Please do. Please ignore whatever guilt you've taught to feel and explore your sexuality. You are human first, Muslim second.

"Strangled girls" Someone has issues. Seriously, it's a bit sick to be looking up stuff like that.

"ice cube trays" Someone was looking for a picture of ice cube trays, and found me. By doing that s/he tripped across another little factoid about me: I love ice. Love it. I often have more ice than drink in my glass, because a drink can never be cold enough for me. I wrote a post once about the ice cube trays I got as a present (did I mention they were made in Israel? :-)

"i am half devil half muslim" This search is awesome!!! An I could say so many things, but I think the search speaks for itself (and I don't need angry Muslims flaming me. hey, *I* didn't do the search!!). Oddly, I came in third for the search results.

"robin williams hairy chest photo" were you looking because you thought it was hot or because you thought it was gross?

"i am ready to masturbate i need pics know" Congratulations, I am happy to hear that you are finally ready to masturbate! Now you just need to work on your spelling.

"getting girls to masturbate" She won't? lol Did you try asking nicely? (how much am I going to hate myself for putting the word 'masturbate' all over my blog and tripling my hits for said topic?)

"i am the light the way and the truth. discuss any two accounts of truth" Know what this says to me? Says someone has a school project due the next day.

"i am the avalanche bloody sympathy" ok....WHAT???

"i am a stay at home mom am i dumb?" No, you're really not and I think it's sad that you had to ask a search engine that.

"i am scared of things written in my horoscope" Here's a tip: STOP READING THEM THEN!

"saying "I am so happy for you" to someone" Can I ask why it is people are having such difficulty talking to others about things?? If you're happy for the person say so!! Oy..

"I am so desperate to pee" Obviously not THAT desperate.. you stopped by your computer on the way to the bathroom.

"maroon 5 palestinian flag" Apparently one of the members of the band Maroon 5 wore a t-shirt with the Palestinian flag to some music awards show in Europe. I guess the posts I wrote about how much I hate Maroon 5 lead the person to me. Have I mentioned I hate Maroon 5? Did I mention that a friend of mine gave the disc to me for Christmas? try and imagine the acting I did upon opening that gift. Then imagine me going into the store and exchanging it for something I actually like.

"spanky russian girls" Yeeha!!! Spanky Russian girls!!! ...whatever that is. lol

"i am not mad at you for breaking my heart" Well, I am glad to hear it. I'm sorry that I did. And once again, may I suggest you actually tell this to the person in question rather than looking up such things on the internet.

"Kate Beckinsale rubber gloves" Quite the imagination! It certainly *would* be a sight to see wouldn't it? Especially if the gloves were yellow! A-prrrrow!!

"in 1964 in thailand what was going on there with christians" Good question. Anyone have any answers? Speak up, now!

"i am an alien princess" And you came down to earth to look yourself up on the internet?

"am i ever going to get my civic back" I guess that depends on where you left it. Or who took it. Or what you did. Tough call!

"need a job singing at home in toronto 2005" Let me see if I've got this straight... you want a job in which you get paid for singing at home? in Toronto? in the year 2005? Wow... let me know if you find this dream job! I'd like to get paid for singing in the comfort of my living room too!

"Buckley's couch syrup" For when your sofa gets sick.

So? Fellow bloggers.... what's some of the weird hit results you've had?

Friday, February 11, 2005
bits and bites
I have found a cool website that lets you download some songs for free. It gives you a chance to sample all kinds of music. If you want to try a variety of different Israeli musicians click here. I have already downloaded 40 songs! Some are reggae, some are trance, some are classics and some are just plain rock (I am quite found of RockFour and CoolooLoosh). Try a few, you might like them! If radio is more your thing click here for all kinds of Israeli radio stations you can listen to from the comfort of your home. And just for the hell of it, if you have never heard the Israeli national anthem you can listen to it here.

Michele over at A Small Victory has some of the funniest posts going. If you wanna read some funny stuff go here and here, though her whole page is hilarious right now as it is highlighting some of the world's creepiest Valentine's Day cards..

I have more Gmail invites than any human should. So for the love of all things holy, if you don't have a Gmail account by now just ask me and I will give you one. All the cool kids have one! (or three. shhh.)

So the other day I was in a local drugstore purchasing hair products (a personal vice of mine). When I was at the cash register the woman looked at the products, glanced up at me and remarked something to the effect of: "That is your natural hair colour? Or you do it like that on purpose?" *sigh* She is, of course, referring to my vast quantity of grey hair and remarkably I am asked this question a lot. As if someone would actually, on purpose, separate hundreds of individual hairs and dye them WHITE (here's a picture of my hair so's you can all have a gander). Anyway, I told her that yes, it was natural, to which she gave the usual gaspy remark "Oh my! So much on someone so young!". Yes, my hair has been turning grey since I was in highschool. No, I do not want to start dying it yet, because we all know that once you start you can never stop. In fact, I dare say I kinda even like my hair... but I know there will come a time when I'm not going to want to look 10 years older than I am. Until then, it lives.

Through the miracle of BlogExplosion I made the acquaintence of a cool blogger named Christian. Go check out his blog. If you like light sabers you might want to click here. If you are into the whole 911/war on terror/damn-that-bin-Laden kind of thing click here.

I have noticed I don't eat a lot of fast food. Like... hardly ever, in fact. And when I do it's a submarine sandwich. I guess that's a good thing, but I'm wondering why it is that I don't eat fast food; I think it's because of 10 years working in a retail store environment where you have to vast amounts of foodcourt food to survive. I'd be happy if I never ate another burger with fries ever again. Or maybe one day I will learn to appreciate them again.... maybe in another 10 years. For now my body thanks me for no longer eating that crap.

Omigod!!! It's Superman's fault that Pat Boone's song never became a hit!!! Superman IS a dick.

If you have been hanging out here for a while you know that I have a long standing love affair with breakfast cereal. There is usually no fewer than 5 boxes (sometimes upwards of 8) in my house at any given time, and it is the staple for me every morning. Sometimes it also serves as a snack before bed or as all three meals when I am feeling sick (thus so many different kinds in the house.. you wouldn't want to eat the SAME cereal for all three meals, would you??). However, I am learning that such is not the case for everybody.. so I am wondering: What do you guys eat for breakfast? I need some breakfast ideas if I'm going to make a change but I seriously lack breakfast creativity. I have been a slave to my breakfast cereal....a self-proclaimed cereal whore. But I am a woman open to change, so let's hear your suggestions.

I took a cool picture of a motel. Check it out. See? And you thought a motel couldn't look cool!!

And and thanks to all 17 folks who voted for me in the Jewish and Israeli Blog Awards. I am currently in second last place and getting my ass handed to me on a silver platter. So if you haven't voted for me yet please feel free to do so, the polls are only open until Saturday night. Click here if ya love me.

Shabat Shalom.

Thursday, February 10, 2005
revenge is a dish best served cold as snow
Alright, some of you are aware of my ongoing battles with my landlord. One of my biggest beefs with the man is the insane hours at which he decides it is suitable to shovel snow. Prior incidents (here and here and here) illustrate my frustration with the man as he ruins my sleep time and time again when he chooses to shovel snow in the wee hours of the morning. Despite several confrontations on the matter he insists that it's important that he shovels this tiny little walkway, that nobody even uses, and is under my bedroom window (to picture the scenario click here. my window is the one on the bottom right, and there is the walkway in front of it). Last night he decided that 12:30am was the best time to do this. Of course shoveling takes some time so it wasn't until almost 1am when he stopped, and for me it isn't always easy to fall back to sleep. When Princess Blondie still lived in the building she too had a discussion with the landlord about the late night shoveling and he actually admitted that he did it at night because he didn't want to get up in the morning and do it. He said someone would have to call and wake him up! When I confronted him about it he said "What? You're young, you don't need so much sleep". Hey, thanks for deciding that for me!

So. This year, after 3 years of this bullshit, I decided I would take my revenge. Yes, it's petty of me I know, but I have tried the conventional way of negotiations and gotten nowhere. Now it's time for me to take sleep from him. So when I got up this morning I went into the laundry room where the hot water taps are for the whole building and I turned two of the taps off. I kinda had to play eenie-meenie-minie-mo when guessing which ones to shut off, but I'm in apartment 1, so I figured I shouldn't go for the first or last tap. While I feel bad that two poor saps in the building are going to be the pawns in this revenge, I will enjoy watching my landlord pull up to the building this morning after being awoken by angry building residents who had no hot water. Like I said... it may be wrong, but hey... suddenly I don't feel so tired despite losing an hour of sleep. And yes, if he shovels at that hour again, I will do it (or something else devilish) again. Bwah ha ha!!!

the end of the end of violence
Cease fire? What cease fire?
Yes.... it was THAT short lived. In what was being heralded as a victorious and monumental event, a cease fire was announced between Israel and the Palestinians on Tuesday (here is Israeli Prime Minister Sharon's speech from the summit). Heck, even the Arab world was reporting the event in a positive light as it seemed this cease fire was the start of something good for both sides. However, Hamas (one of the leading Palestinian terrorist groups) was quick to point out that it was not bound by the cease fire.... and then proceeded to pound Israelis with rockets. 46 mortars fired, approximately 17 hits. And of course Israel is not keen on being shot at so the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) returned fire and Israel cancelled it's meeting later this week with Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas.

All I can say is thanks a lot, Hamas. Thanks for squashing the hopes of your people and mine. Nicely done.

UPDATE: There may be a glimmer of hope yet.... Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas has fired 3 top commanders after the rocket fire and has ordered Forces to stop the militants' attacks. And both Palestinian and Israeli forces are set to meet. Come on, boys..... keep the hope alive.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005
yes, anti-Semitism in Canada
A Toronto man has pleaded guilty to murdering an Orthodox Jew after flying into a fit of rage against a group of Jewish teenagers. Christopher Steven McBride, 22, was charged with first-degree murder after he stabbed David Rosenzweig to death on July 13, 2002. Rosenzweig, a 48-year-old father of six, was attacked as he waited for a tow truck with his son outside the J-One pizzeria at Bathurst Street and Lawrence Avenue.

McBride told the court that he was enraged after becoming the butt of a practical joke by some Jewish teens as he attempted to buy marijuana at the pizza restaurant. He said the teens told him he could buy drugs at a gas station across the street by using a secret password. McBride returned to the restaurant armed with a knife when he discovered that the password was a prank, but the teens had left. He acknowledged turning his fury against the Jewish teens onto a complete stranger who was also Jewish.
Rosenzweig died of a single stab wound to the back.

Following an agreement between his lawyer and the Crown, McBride pleaded guilty Monday to the lesser charge of second-degree murder. All murder convictions in Canada are punished with automatic life sentences.
While first-degree murder convictions have no parole eligibility for 25 years, a judge may set that term to anywhere between 10 and 25 years in second-degree cases.

Members of Toronto's Jewish community say the nature of McBride's crime demands a full 25-year sentence.
"He got angry at one Jew and he took it out on another Jew," B'nai Brith Canada spokesperson Anita Bromberg told the Toronto Star. "Hate against Jews was an element in this case."

McBride will be sentenced Feb. 16.

The full article including footage of Andy Barrie speaking to Len Rudner of the Canadian Jewish Congress can be found here.

reader mail
Gather 'round kiddies! It's reader mail time!
Yes, this is one of the true joys of blogging... getting all kinds of e-mails from those readers who have taken time out from their busy blog reading to dash off a quick e-mail to me to share their thoughts. I have received some very interesting e-mails from readers as far away as Australia and more recently Bangalore. But this morning I woke up to find a rather perplexing e-mail from a reader....

From: ED WOOD [kn_edwood (at)]
To: celestialblue (at)
Date: Tue, 8 Feb 2005 02:47:47 am
Subject: dreams or nightmares?

You need to get out more or you might start believing all that nonsense
on your website. EW

Now then... allow me to deconstruct this little gem and share with you my evolution of thoughts on the matter.
My first thought was.... which website is he referring to (I have 4 blogs that have the word "dream" in the title)? At first I thought he was referring to my dream blog, Technicolour Dreams, because of the subject line "dreams or nightmares?". If that were the case I was confused as to why he would think that I would need to 'get out more' lest I suddenly start 'believing all that nonsense'. But this didn't make sense to me.... uhh... of course I wouldn't believe it, they are DREAMS afterall. This lead me to check my stats on my dream blog to see how this guy found my blog but turned up nothing; this wasn't the blog he was referring to. So I checked the stats for this blog and bingo I found him. This is where things get interesting, if not down right amusing.

Upon looking over the statistics of his visit I find several amusing points. First, that he found my blog by typing "toronto snow melting machine" into a search engine. Second, that he was doing this at 2am. Thirdly, and most notably, he stayed for at least and hour and forty minutes! Oh, and that he uses his tv to surf the net. *snicker*

So let me see here.... I have received a passive/aggressive e-mail from someone with regards to my blog, stating that "You need to get out more or you might start believing all that nonsense on your website". When I read that I decided to have a look at what is on my main page currently to figure out what he may be talking about. Let's see.... I talked about the Holocaust, the tsunami relief/help, Red Bull, Blockbuster late fees and the lowering of ticket prices in theatres, conservatives and liberals duking it out in the media, and peace summits in Egypt (along with boring banter about my bad moods and the usual talk of weather). Help me out and point out for me which part exactly is the nonsense? In other words, which part is it that you disagree with, and therefore is of course, in your mind, nonsense? Coz if you got something to say, be a man and post a comment under the appropriate offending post!

As far as I am concerned this whole e-mail is a joke. He wasn't even brave enough to just post his passive/aggressive remark for everyone to see and in return comment on (no worries big guy, I took care of that for ya!). He's surfing from his television at 2am and spending almost 2 hours on a website that he seems to feel is full of nonsense. Oh, and the guy (who seems to think he's Ed Wood, and signs his e-mails as "EW", which says it all, really) who thinks I should be the one getting out more is looking up info on a snow melting machine! (look, let me spare you and just give you the link you were looking for, Ed) Dude.... I'm thinkin' it's not ME that needs to get out more... but thanks for writing! You have provided me with great amusement!

UPDATE: The crazy fellow came back to my blog for another peek, perhaps because of the e-mail I sent. Sadly, even after a 15 minute stay, he left no comment. Drat!

Monday, February 07, 2005
on the edge of peace....... again.
Well, according to U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice: "The leaders of Israel and the Palestinian Authority have agreed to separate meetings with President Bush, and the United States will send a security coordinator to the Mideast". Sounds like exciting stuff, doesn't it? Makes you think... wow, see how fast things have moved towards (not yet achieved) peace since Arafat up and died? Does this not say something to not only people around the world but to the Palestinians themselves?? Ok ok, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.. I know peace has come close before with no success. And really... have a look at the picture on the right. What the hell is Arafat doing in the background? Why would you even want his name tagged to this sudden upswing in democratic negotiations? I suppose it could be argued that it helps Abbas gain support, but if you were trying to blaze a new trail, wouldn't you want your name, and yours alone, to be tied to such a historical event? *shrug*

Well, let me tell you where there IS some hope: Greensboro, North Carolina. Yes, this little town has had something interesting brewing in it's Page High School: a school play about the Holocaust. Why is this so extraordinary? Not only did this drama class get to talk to the survivor whom this play was based on, they will also be performing the play at Disney World! For more on this you can read the article here. A big thanks to Sam for spotting this article and sending it to me.

that's right, I'm not above pimping myself out!
Well, I apparently have no idea what's going on with these crazy Jewish And Israeli Blog Awards, coz I'm back up on the ballot. Seems the last round was only the preliminary and now we are in the final round. The only question now is.... how much do ya love me? :-D Click on the button and vote for me... coz I am up against some very tough competition. So far I have zero votes... so vote and vote often! And if you love somebody else, that's ok too... go vote for him/her. Just humour us and vote... makes us all feel loved.

How was everybody's weekend? Mine was good, then bad, then good, then bad, then.... well, you get the point. My bad mood stretched for a whopping four days ending with me having a really bad migraine for over 12 hours. It only finally went away when I joined my Sunday morning meditation group and finally got calmed and centered myself a bit. I know meditation is good and all but I have never had it be successful in making a migraine go away! I was pretty pleased with myself and made it worth getting up at 7am on a Sunday. Next time I get a headache I'm doing that meditation again.

As a side note, we have been having more wacky weather here in Toronto. Over the weekend the temperatures were much higher than what is normal ( 5-7C/41-44.6F) and so there was a blanket of fog from Saturday night until Sunday afternoon (article with news clip showing fog here). More notable than the fog was the fact that the first ever winter smog watch has been issued for southern Ontario, a sign of the growing pollution problem that comes with living in a big city. Warm weather and less wind has meant that pollution lingers longer... bad news for all of us, especially those with asthma. I took pictures during my drive on Sunday, around 7:30am; you can head over to my photoblog or click here and here to behold the fog. You gotta see it to believe it.

Other than that my weekend was ok. I went to a small art gallery on Saturday with a group of my friends to show some support for my brother. He and his friend had a showing at a gallery in downtown Toronto so I went and nibbled on cheese, drank water, admired wine (ha! I typed 'whine' first instead of 'wine'. how telling), noshed on veggies and fruits and looked at some great photography. It was delightfully pretentious and I was very happy and proud of my brother. He's a good guy, I like him. After that my friends and I went out for dinner (I ordered the "Mediterranean platter" in order to get my fix of pita, hummus and falafel) and I had a friend crash on my couch for the night.
what did you kids do over the weekend?

Friday, February 04, 2005
conservatives and liberals in the media arena
Last week the Canadian television program "The Fifth Estate" did an in depth show about conservative bias in the American media called "Sticks and Stones". Of course, it was bias in its own right since the show (and indeed the CBC network) is liberal, but it was still an excellent program and raised some very crucial points. My jaw dropped several times throughout the show but there were two main incidents that were shocking and even amusing.

The first was Bill O'Reilly. I had no idea the man was a few bricks shy of a load, but MAN... that dude is crazy!! He yells at people (usually guests, sometimes Al Franken) to "shut up", and if they don't he actually turns their microphones off so they can't speak! (check out these clips to behold the madness) The guy can't seem to handle a proper debate/conversation when the person doesn't agree with him and often just snaps. Yelling at a guy whose dad died in the World Trade Center because he doesn't blame the Iraqis for what happened was pretty bizarre. But most laughably Bill O'Reilly yelled at a Canadian woman that he was interviewing and said that he was going to start a boycott and bring the Canadian economy to it's knees. Hoo boy, Mr. O'Reilly... we are sooooo quaking in our little booties up here.

The next jaw dropping and decidedly more amusing incident was when the reporter, Bob McKeown, interviewed the wingnut, Ann Coulter. The point she was arguing against Canada (which she does often) about was that it was inconceivable that Canada would support the USA in other wars (like Vietnam) by sending troops, but not send troops to Iraq. The interview went like this:

Coulter: "Canada used to be one of our most loyal friends and vice-versa. I mean Canada sent troops to Vietnam - was Vietnam less containable and more of a threat than Saddam Hussein?"

McKeown interrupts: "Canada didn't send troops to Vietnam."

Coulter: "I don't think that's right."

McKeown: "Canada did not send troops to Vietnam."

Coulter "Indochina?"

McKeown: "Uh no. Canada ...second World War of course. Korea. Yes. Vietnam No."

Coulter: "I think you're wrong."

McKeown: "No, took a pass on Vietnam."

Coulter: "I think you're wrong."

McKeown: "No, Australia was there, not Canada."

Coulter: "I think Canada sent troops."

McKeown: "No."

Coulter: "Well. I'll get back to you on that."

McKeown tags out in script:

"Coulter never got back to us -- but for the record, like Iraq, Canada sent no troops to Vietnam."

He Ann, why do you think the American draft dodgers (like Clinton!!!) were coming up here?? We were in the World Wars (in fact we joined the Second World War 3 years before the USA did).... we were in the Korean war..even a few others... but that's it. She could only reply with "I'll have to get back to you on that". Ha! I laughed my ass off. Coz who in their right mind would argue such a thing when (a) the reporter is Canadian and you're not, and (b) likely knows better than you do or at the very least checked his facts, unlike you. Oh well, she's had it out for Canada for along time, so this kind of denial doesn't surprise me.

For the clip showing this hilarious exchange with Ann Coulter click this page and find the link at the end of the first paragraph which reads: "One of the most talked-about exchanges in Sticks and Stones occurred between reporter Bob McKeown and Ann Coulter and concerned Canada's role in the Vietnam War. Take a look for yourself... "

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to turn into such a long post. If you would like to see the report outlining the conservative and liberal battle in the media you can find the whole show here and read viewer comments (positive and negative) here. It's a long show to watch (I think the running time is 1 hr, 20 mins) but it is so very worth it. This one is for you, Crawler!!

step AWAY from the grumpy blogger!
Amazingly, I am STILL in the same fantastically bad mood as I was yesterday. It's unusual for me to maintain a bad mood after a night's sleep, yet here I am still stewing. In fact, I think that with a little focus I may be able to develop the uncanny ability to shoot lasers from my eyes, potentially boring a hole into the skull of anyone who crosses my path. God help the soul who put me in this mood... coz he's gonna need it.

Last night I called up my friend with whom I had plans and warned him that I was in a mood most foul. Basically I was giving him the out if he didn't want to be subjected to it, though I was happy to hear he didn't back out because I was counting on him to help pull me out of it. He's one of my best friends for that kinda thing. So when I arrived at his place last night he had picked up some dinner for us to eat and some flowers to help cheer me up. What an angel. The rest of the night was spent listening to music, watching Battlestar Galactica and playing with the adorable kitten I gave him for his birthday last year (pics can be found here).

It was a lovely night, so imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning still breathing fire and looking to seek vengeance on the world for all that had ever gone wrong in my life. Boy oh boy, am I in a crappy mood. It would be amusing if it weren't so annoying.... but as it stands it is emotionally draining, not to mention energy draining. So tonight I am canceling my plans and I'm gonna just chill out and relax. Time to unwind this top, ya know? Do some laundry.. get some groceries.. watch my favourite tv shows. Yeah... that sounds about right.

On a semi-related note... guess what I saw last night? A wolf! For real!! I know I know... you're thinking these things are just running around everywhere in Canada, but I assure you they do no such thing in this area. Well at least, I didn't think they did. And thus my surprise after I had just exited the highway only to see a wolf standing by the side of the road (there's a little patch of 'field' there). I slammed my brakes on to slow down and have a better look, and wanted to whip out my camera to take a picture but damn if some other cars were behind me, so I couldn't. Drat. I did, however, take a pretty picture from my car last night on my way home from work. Go have a look.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Beware the bad mood! Shabat Shalom.

Thursday, February 03, 2005
thar she blows!
Ever been in one of those bad moods that feels so huge that it becomes all-consuming? The negativity swirls around you in a thick fog and you can't see past it, all you can see and feel is grumpiness. You can only speak in growls and snaps and basic civil communication is no longer an option. The slighest thing can cause a meltdown and all you want to do is crawl into a cave to wallow in the misery that is your life.

Yup. That's about where I am at the moment. Come back tomorrow when the mood has passed and I can play well with others again.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005
can't we all just get along??
"Officials fear babies contracted herpes during circumcisions" reports this morning. But how, you may ask... "Under Jewish law, a mohel -- someone who performs circumcisions -- draws blood from the circumcision wound. Most mohels do it by hand, but Fischer [the mohel in question] uses a rare practice where he uses his mouth". Um........ yeah, I'm just gonna leave that one alone. There is the topic, go ahead and discuss.

Meanwhile, Egypt has invited Israeli and Palestinian leaders for a get-together (cleverly called a "summit") scheduled for next week. And while it's all well and good that Israel has been withdrawing from Gaza and parts of the West Bank, and the Palestinians have been dispatching lots of police in their place... it would be *really* nice if the Palestinian terrorists in Gaza would stop raining down rockets on the heads of Israelis in the town of Sderot during this "cease-fire". Wouldn't it? Wouldn't that be swell of them? And how about you stop blaming Israel for the killing of children when it's Palestinians firing guns in the air in celebration that did the killing? Maybe those kids can iron out those little snags at their pow wow next week.

By the way... has anyone figured out whatever happened with the Iraqi elections?? There was a big hullabaloo surrounding it and then all of a sudden I hear nothing about it anymore. Are they still counting, or what? This is supposed to be a big historic moment in time and yet no one is saying a peep. Very odd.

to link or not to link... that is the question
Well, let me just thank you all for your efforts when it came to voting for me over at the Jewish And Israeli Blog Awards. Under the category of "Best Personal Blog (group B)" I came in 4th place, which is none too shabby (you can see the results here). I appreciate all your kind words and support, everyone. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

It also made me think about how such things turn into a strange popularity contests. It is for this reason that I normally steer clear of these events, but this time I decided to make it a fun little activity. Despite recognizing that I likely wouldn't win I felt it was a nice opportunity to have more people come on over and check out my blog. The more the merrier, and I have enjoyed hearing from some new readers.

And all this got me thinking about how people react to such things as being blogrolled and de-blogrolled (or linked and then de-linked, if you prefer). Coincidentally the same topic is being discussed over on Planet Janet and it has been interesting to get people's views on the matter. For me, I feel a great sense of flattery when I find out someone has linked me on his/her blog and I didn't even know about. It feels like a secret admirer since this person often doesn't comment on my blog, yet likes me enough to link me on his/hers (like TheatreTech, whom I found out had linked me, but I never knew how she found my blog. She never comments and damnit, she has no comments on her blog for ME to comment to her! get a commenting system, woman!!). That's the best kind of linking coz it gives ya a little boost... makes you feel quietly appreciated.

Then there are those that you chat up all the time through comments on both your blogs. These are the people you read regularly and who read you. You swap links, you love each other's blogs, and all is well in your blogging world. These are the comfort links, the ones you know will likely remain a constant.

I have been de-linked a couple of times. Most notably I was de-linked by JJ over at Israel Midnight Cafe because he didn't agree with my seeing the movie The Passion of the Christ, and more importantly, he didn't agree with the fact that I didn't see it as being as anti-Semitic as we were lead to believe. However, JJ and I worked our differences out and we remain on each other's blogroll even today. I also noticed that I have been de-linked by one Mr. Gil Ben Mori, a lovely Israeli chap that was part of the Blogger Bash in Israel last September. It seemed to occur when he did a revamping of his blog, removing all the links and then slowly he added them back... only mine was never returned to his list. *sniff* I'm crushed gill, crushed!!! Ok, maybe not crushed. Maybe just mildly confused. Oh well.

Then there are the blogs that I secretly wish would link me. I'm not sure why, perhaps because I admire their work and would be honoured if they did. It's a strange need for acknowledgement (or is it acceptance?) from someone I admire, I suppose. At any rate, on my "wishlist" of bloggers I'd like to link me are Meryl and Allison. I have been mentioned in a post by Meryl once, but never linked in her blogroll. Admittedly I was thrilled to be mentioned, feeling like a happy puppy that just had a biscuit tossed her way. lol. And Allison I met at the Blogger Bash in Israel so I can only wonder... why have you forsaken me Allison?? WHY?? lol.

Anyway, those are the two that I would mainly like to be linked on, but oh well. I'm not gonna stake my blogging self esteem on the issue, it's just a link. ... right?

Now let's hear from you guys... what's your take on the matter?

3 things.
1) will someone PLEASE talk me out of spending money on a new computer? For some reason I feel I absolutely need a 120 GB drive, 3.8 GHz processor, 1 GB RAM and a 128 MB vid card, all of which I do not presently have. This would run me about $1200-1500 (CAN). I do not have this kind of money, which is why I have no business even considering it. Any help you can offer in helping me to reason this out would be appreciated.

2) I have said it before and I am going to say it again: "I'd like to address a pet peeve of mine, and I'm sorry if I insult anyone who does this (and I already know of a few of my readers who do). When expressing a laugh in text, use HEE HEE, not HE HE or the variant 'hehe'. "Hee" denotes a little laugh. A giggle, perhaps. "He" is a pronoun denoting the male gender. "He couldn't wait to give celestial blue a million trillion dollars". "Hee...." she giggled "'re so funny!!" (oh, and don't even start me on the misuse of "your" and "you're")

3) Think that was nitpicky? How about this... I would just love it if people would stop using the word "good" instead of "well". For instance, your child is on a break from his soccer game.... you are the supportive parent cheering from the sidelines... you shout "You're doing good, honey!". In fact, your child is doing well. Not good. And now you've just passed along your bad grammar to your child. If you don't understand what the hell the difference is click here. I don't claim to be a grammar queen by any stretch (I'm not always vigilant about the misuse of "it's" and "its", for instance), but these things in particular really chap my ass.