Saturday, November 08, 2003
reality check
Tonight I had someone try and tell me that I should care about the eclipse because "it's important". This miffed me because at the very same time that this person was telling me this, something more important was going on. I had just gotten a call from a close friend of mine telling me that she had found out that her brother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and wasn't expected to live long (...and he's so young..). To me, that's a bit more important then a few moons and planets lining up. I am very sad for my friend tonight because I have had cancer take many members of my family, and I know the extremely difficult time that lies ahead for her. I also know there isn't a damn thing I can say or do to make her feel better. I told her I was very sorry to hear the news, and offered whatever help I could. She suggested that I might get her away from things later in the week and go out. I said she just had to name the time and place and I'd be there.


This lead me to be in a bit of mood later in the evening. Then I got a call from one of my guy friends (one of my nerd buddies, we'll call him "Will"), and he noticed that I was a little quiet and asked what was wrong. I said I was ok, and that my mood would pass, not really wanting to get into it. He convinced me to meet up with him for coffee, and so I hopped in the car and met him at the coffee shop. Looking back on it now, it was all a bit strange.....
There we sat discussing my friend's plight, with the moon eclipsing into an odd orange colour in the background giving the whole thing a sad if not eerie feeling. Will then opened up to me about losing his dad ten years ago to AIDS, something I had always wanted to ask him about, but was afraid to dig too much into what can only be a painful topic. We had a long good talk sharing our experiences, and he really opened up and spoke so warmly and fondly of his father. It was very nice, and I only wish I had had the chance to meet his dad. We talked about what it's like to sit bedside with someone while they died, and how hard it can be on everyone. To this day, I am still haunted by the image of watching my aunt literally take her last breath while I laid a hand on her to let her know I was there. We all were, the whole family circling her bed, and letting her know we were by her side.

But I digress, this isn't about me. The fact of the matter is, what's important to people is different from person to person. If that one friend feels the eclipse is important, so be it. But tonight my thoughts are for my friend and the difficult road that lay ahead for her. Talking to her tonight and making sure she was okay was more important to me.

Tomorrow will be a new day, and with it new challenges and experiences. I will be checking out a congregation I am considering joining. Never a religious girl, this is a big step and I am feeling very cautious. It's sort of an information session where those interested can come and ask questions and get a feel for them. I am also happy because it's taking place in a highschool....neutral territory so there's no pressure. I like it already.
But like I said, I have steered clear of religion most of my life (having had it forced upon me as a child repelled me greatly) but in the last year I have been on a personal journey that has brought me to a place where I'd like to see what's out there and explore the possibilities. I am excited, because I think this could be a good match, and might not have me running for the hills as most religious institutes have. LOL.
Should be verrrrrry interesting....

Anyway, if you are in a giving mood at the moment, please give generously.