Sunday, February 13, 2005
search engine hits
Every so often I like to compile a list of some of my favourite search engine results that brought people to my page. These are the odd combinations of words that often make me wonder.... what were they thinking and WHY did the search bring them to my page?? So without further ado, here are some of the more amusing searches that sent poor hapless souls to my page:

"circumcised blog boyfriend" Why, I didn't know you could circumcise a BLOG! Must be a kosher blog....

"road kill" Um... why would you need to look this up? go for a drive, I'm sure you'll find some.

"Juggernaut" surprisingly I get this one a LOT. In a post long ago I mentioned the comic book character and *linked* to a picture.. I didn't even post the a pic! And still people land here search for Juggernaut.

"Joanna Kerns" This search is good for a couple of reasons. (1) Joanna Kerns (2) someone in HOLLAND was searching for Joanna Kerns... and got me. Was she big in the Netherlands??

"Gatchaman" and "Gatchaman drove all night" These make me happy coz I love Gatchaman. What is it? It's an old cartoon, originally from Japan but imported to North America in the late 70's/early 80's (and then called Battle of the Planets). Casey Kasem did the voice for the main character, which is cool if you know who he is. If you don't I suppose it's not cool at all. ok, let me help you out... he also did the voice of Shaggy in the old Scooby-Doo cartoon. NOW it's cool, hunh??

"sorting who I am and watching movies" Ah yes, I can see why someone would be lead right to my blog... this is exactly how I sort out who I am too.

"history of uludag gazoz" Once again, someone in the Netherlands found me through Google. This search for the tasty beverage from Turkey known as Uludag brought the person to me because I had mentioned the drink a few times. I love it.

"I am Wasted" Are ya? so....why would you type that into a search engine? lol Ya weren't sure?

"I AM SORRY PICTURES" Firstly... this person must *really* be sorry, coz it was typed totally in caps. Secondly... if you're sorry I think you should be looking for words, not pics. SAY you're sorry!!!

"catchy phrases on Smallmouth bass" Oh lord, please tell me you weren't looking for Big Mouth Billy Bass.

"i am really a blur person" You're a WHAT now? a blur person? what the frig does that mean?? (amusingly, Wil Wheaton's blog came in first for the search engine results. maybe I should ask him?)

"i am sick today my sweetheart" Ok, I don't even know what to say about this one....I'm stumped.

"when do girls start to masturabate" Long before they actually admit to doing it. "techniques for girls to masturbate" ??? do what feels right, my friend. lol. it's not rocket science.

"i am a muslim girl, can i masturbate" Please do. Please ignore whatever guilt you've taught to feel and explore your sexuality. You are human first, Muslim second.

"Strangled girls" Someone has issues. Seriously, it's a bit sick to be looking up stuff like that.

"ice cube trays" Someone was looking for a picture of ice cube trays, and found me. By doing that s/he tripped across another little factoid about me: I love ice. Love it. I often have more ice than drink in my glass, because a drink can never be cold enough for me. I wrote a post once about the ice cube trays I got as a present (did I mention they were made in Israel? :-)

"i am half devil half muslim" This search is awesome!!! An I could say so many things, but I think the search speaks for itself (and I don't need angry Muslims flaming me. hey, *I* didn't do the search!!). Oddly, I came in third for the search results.

"robin williams hairy chest photo" were you looking because you thought it was hot or because you thought it was gross?

"i am ready to masturbate i need pics know" Congratulations, I am happy to hear that you are finally ready to masturbate! Now you just need to work on your spelling.

"getting girls to masturbate" She won't? lol Did you try asking nicely? (how much am I going to hate myself for putting the word 'masturbate' all over my blog and tripling my hits for said topic?)

"i am the light the way and the truth. discuss any two accounts of truth" Know what this says to me? Says someone has a school project due the next day.

"i am the avalanche bloody sympathy" ok....WHAT???

"i am a stay at home mom am i dumb?" No, you're really not and I think it's sad that you had to ask a search engine that.

"i am scared of things written in my horoscope" Here's a tip: STOP READING THEM THEN!

"saying "I am so happy for you" to someone" Can I ask why it is people are having such difficulty talking to others about things?? If you're happy for the person say so!! Oy..

"I am so desperate to pee" Obviously not THAT desperate.. you stopped by your computer on the way to the bathroom.

"maroon 5 palestinian flag" Apparently one of the members of the band Maroon 5 wore a t-shirt with the Palestinian flag to some music awards show in Europe. I guess the posts I wrote about how much I hate Maroon 5 lead the person to me. Have I mentioned I hate Maroon 5? Did I mention that a friend of mine gave the disc to me for Christmas? try and imagine the acting I did upon opening that gift. Then imagine me going into the store and exchanging it for something I actually like.

"spanky russian girls" Yeeha!!! Spanky Russian girls!!! ...whatever that is. lol

"i am not mad at you for breaking my heart" Well, I am glad to hear it. I'm sorry that I did. And once again, may I suggest you actually tell this to the person in question rather than looking up such things on the internet.

"Kate Beckinsale rubber gloves" Quite the imagination! It certainly *would* be a sight to see wouldn't it? Especially if the gloves were yellow! A-prrrrow!!

"in 1964 in thailand what was going on there with christians" Good question. Anyone have any answers? Speak up, now!

"i am an alien princess" And you came down to earth to look yourself up on the internet?

"am i ever going to get my civic back" I guess that depends on where you left it. Or who took it. Or what you did. Tough call!

"need a job singing at home in toronto 2005" Let me see if I've got this straight... you want a job in which you get paid for singing at home? in Toronto? in the year 2005? Wow... let me know if you find this dream job! I'd like to get paid for singing in the comfort of my living room too!

"Buckley's couch syrup" For when your sofa gets sick.

So? Fellow bloggers.... what's some of the weird hit results you've had?