I'm riding a nervous excitement at the moment... I have decided how I am going to raise some money for this 5 month Livnot trip to Israel I am going on. An idea came to me and I am far more excited about it than the calendar idea (though I liked that idea a lot and had picked out pictures I wanted to use and everything). The nervousness comes from the fact that I just invested a fair chunk of change online to order the items I wish to sell to raise the funds.... but I think it will be met favourably and will likely do better than the calendar (lower price, snazzier item). I feel like I'm on an episode of The Apprentice! Will my idea pay off? Will I be able to market it? Will I be stuck with the product? Gahhhhhh!!!

Anyway, I know I am being cryptic about what it is, but all will be revealed soon enough. Hopefully I will receive the items next week and in the meantime I need to hurry about and set up a bank account specifically set aside for fundraising; I don't want the money going into the pit known as my personal account. I want to be able to track things, ya know? *glee!* I hope you guys like this idea as much as I do.

As for my weekend, it has been good and in fact, is still going on. We Canadians get our first long weekend of the summer season thanks to Victoria Day (known in these parts as the "May Two-Four"). This has given me a chance to see some friends, recover from the disappointment of the Star Wars movie (post about that still coming, I swear), and to do some *major* cleaning of my apartment. I figure I should do the hardcore cleaning and purging of junk that has built up over the last few years, and I mean REALLY throw out junk I'll never use. Always easier said than done, but in the next few months I will either be moving to Israel for a while or I will be moving to a new apartment and taking on a roommate. Either way I need to get a handle on what I actually need and what I can let go of.

Thanks to everyone who offered kinds words for Princess Blondie during her recent loss. You are all very sweet and it's appreciated. I spent Friday night with her talking and hanging out and just generally being there however I could. She and her fiance are doing remarkably well and we are now turning the focus to their wedding on June 18th. I can't wait!

Have a great week everyone!

 
I'm sorry if I had you all worried yesterday.... I was just extremely upset and needed to take a day to collect myself before writing again. I got a call first thing yesterday morning from my best friend Princess Blondie (you all know her as my Survivor buddy) to tell me she had lost her baby (she was only in her first trimester of pregnancy). We sat and cried together on the phone and I struggled to find words to console her at such a tough time. The fact that I had only 4 hours sleep the night before (thanks to that late night viewing of the new Star Wars movie) made everything that much more dramatic in my world and I spent the rest of the day crying off and on. When my friends hurt *I* hurt and I was absolutely crushed for her and her great loss. After a day at the hospital yesterday she is at home today and I am hoping to sneak out of work early to go spend some time with her.

I am going to leave my posting at that... I still can't muster a fun post about Star Wars at such a time. I just want those of you who are reading and have kids to go home and give your kids a big hug and a kiss.... be grateful for your little miracles, because not everyone is so lucky.

have a great weekend. Shabat Shalom.

 
I just got some really horrible news so my Star Wars review will have to wait until tomorrow. Tune back in later and thanks for your patience.

 
The countdown to the new Star Wars movie is ON! My friend has already called me and played the Star Wars theme music over the phone and annoyed me with his high level of giddiness. Yes, I am excited but we have a whole work day ahead of us... I haven't quite reached the fever pitch of excitement that he has. I'm also trying not to think about the fact that I will be dog-tired tomorrow at work, likely functioning on 4 hours of sleep; it's a midnight show.... the movie, including trailers and such will be around 2.5 hours... all going well I will be in bed by 3am... and up again at 7am. Oh what we geeks won't do for our obsessions.

In preparation for the new film tonight my friends and I got together last night to watch the prior movie, Star Wars; Attack of the Clones, just as a refresher since I only saw it once three years ago in the theatre (I hated it so I didn't bother to watch it again). I am really hoping that George Lucas redeems himself in this film for his 2 prior pieces of crap that have stomped all over my beloved childhood memories of the Star Wars trilogy. He can start winning me back by killing off Jar Jar Binks and bringing back Darth Maul. Seriously, what moron in his right mind kills off the coolest character since Boba Fett and KEEPS the most annoying character since the Ewoks?? Oy, don't even get me started.

Anyway, my friends and I have planned our lineup time for 8pm... 4 hours in advance of the start time of the movie. Will it be enough? Will we get our favourite seats at the very back? (you laugh, but I had a dream about getting seats, I'm so worried about it! lol) I guess we'll see... we have one of the gang going a little early to scout the place to make sure there isn't a big lineup forming. Around Toronto there are several theatres where people have been lining up DAYS in advance (yes, there are bigger geeks out there than me, and they all shop at Star Wars Shop.com) but we'll be going to a theatre in the very north end of the area so I am hoping that means the lineup will be considerably smaller... though I know our theatre is sold out. Only time will tell! I'll give you the full review tomorrow. (ah and by the way... note that two of the lead roles, are being played by a Canadian and an Israeli. what could be better??)

In other news I found out something that has me mildly disturbed. My parents are going to be moving into my apartment building. And not only are they moving into my apartment building... they will be getting the apartment RIGHT above my head. See... they put their house up for sale and it sold within 24 hours and has a closing date of June 30th. However, their new home, currently under construction, won't be ready until December. Thus them needing to find a temporary home, and just as luck would have it, there is a two bedroom available in my building on June 1st. *groan*

Now then.... do I really need to outline the pros and cons of this situation?
Pro: I can go upstairs for dinner!

Con: if I should happen to get a boyfriend sometime this year... well, they will now know when he stays over. Not exactly private.

Pro: I will get to see my cat more often (I left him with our other cat at my parents when I moved out.. couldn't split them up, I felt too bad). Now my boy can come down and visit with me.

Con: Our bedrooms are right on top of each other. Let's just say.... I don't want to hear my parents (*shudder*) and I don't ever want them to hear me.

Pro: Um....... Um...... er....

Con: Now I'll have to actually use the laundry facilities in my building, which I haven't for the last 3 years I've lived there. They're crappy and I had been taking my laundry over to my parents place where they have the sexiest washer and dryer ever. Now I have to use crappy machines that cost money. This is perhaps one of the most annoying parts of all.

Pro: We ..um.... can borrow milk and sugar from each other?

Con: Now they are going to know when I come and go and what kind of hours I keep. This is starting to feel a lot like living at home with them. GAHHHHHHH!!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again.... this is definitely going to be a very interesting year.

 
Today is my birthday..... I am celebrating 6 years. If you have no idea what this means I suggest you go back to my post last year when I turned 5 (I got that medallion you see pictured here for my 5th birthday).

Those who once swore they would stand by me have long since given up on me and faded away, promises forgotten..... but I have been blessed enough to have them replaced by people who have done what the others promised they would. You know who you are and I thank you for being there for me and reminding me that I am not alone.

I gotta say..... 6 feels pretty good. :-)

 
This morning I was coming into work with a smile on my face, a spring in my step and song in my heart. I had a fabulous weekend of coffee with friends on Friday night, poker playing all day and night on Saturday, and meditation and movies yesterday. Three hours of meditating with my group and EIGHT hours of movie viewing in the theatre made for a jam packed day on Sunday.

But this morning I felt like I had the world by the ass. I taped the 3 hour Survivor FINALE last night because my usual Survivor viewing buddy, Princess Blondie, was in Ohio this weekend so we couldn't watch it together. This morning I was chipper as I put myself into a media blackout so as to not ruin the ending of the show (I believe Princess Blondie and I did this last time too). I watched no news and listened to no radio this morning. I just had to get through the next 8 hours (not hard to do at work) and get to Blondie's house to watch it. I'm experienced I know I can do it. Yes sir, this is going to be a good week... kicking it off with Survivor and following it up with a midnight viewing of the new Star Wars movie on Wednesday night.

As I stood in the office kitchen this morning a co-worker came in and said excitedly: "Yay Tom!". I looked at her and thought.. hunh? Tom who? Cruise?? What did he do? I replied with "what the hell are you talking about??" to which she said: "Don't you watch Survivor??". It was at this point that a little dark thunder cloud rolled over my head and began to rain on my otherwise sunny day. "Did you just ruin the show for me?" I asked her. Her face fell as she realized the error of her ways. I couldn't even get angry at her because she didn't mean to... but it totally squashed my good mood. I told her that she should always, ALWAYS, start a conversation about a tv show with "Did you watch (blank) last night?". You just never know when someone is taping something. *sigh* I called Princess Blondie up, told her what happened but that I still wanted to get together and watch it (she doesn't know who won yet, so at least one of us can still be surprised). Oh, and if I just ruined it for someone else, I apologize... but you should be putting yourself in a blackout!! lol

But as I said.... I had a good weekend, so I can't really complain. Yesterday my friends and I saw three films back-to-back in the theatre for a marathon movie day. We saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (liked it a lot), Be Cool (liked it, it was amusing) and House of Wax (pretty cheesy, but if you have low expectations like I did it's not so bad. you get to see Paris Hilton play.... Paris Hilton! I hardly call that acting, but who am I to judge?).

This week still promises to be good. I have lots to do at work which makes me happy; I hate not having anything to do. I still have Survivor to watch which means a good time with my bestest friend Princess Blondie. And my friends and I, The Geek Squad, have that midnight show for Star Wars to see, for which we get to line up hours in advance like uber-geeks. We'll take pictures, play cards, and chat up the other geeks. It's all good fun. AND I have that calendar I want to put together to start some fundraising for my trip to Israel. I figure that even if I don't get enough to do the 5 month trip I can at least go for a couple of weeks, which is better than not going at all. But I'm gonna push hard to try and raise enough for the trip.... I'm feeling the drive to do this again.

Hope everyone had a good weekend... do feel free to share with the rest of us what you did.

 

Cute kitten hunh? I'm babysitting her today, she's actually a gift for Princess Blondie's mom (she doesn't know yet.. it a surprise. *gulp!*). Princess Blondie's fiance, Bruno, needed me to keep the kitten somewhere for the day and I happily agreed. She's so cute. In fact! She is the sister to this kitten that I got for my friend last August! Pretty cool, no? There are two more kittens in the litter.... anyone want one?

Anyway, as you can see I was learning to play poker today (and whipped my teacher's ASS, I might add!). It's fun. I am now going to force my friend to play poker all night. Just as I suspected... I'm loving the game lots. LOTS! Bwah ha ha!!

 
I hadn't realized it was a 'Friday the 13th' today until I heard them discussing it on the television this morning. Since I was born on a Friday the 13th, such days tend to be lucky for me so I think I'll buy a few extra lottery tickets tonight and hope luck is on my side. The jackpot is up to $25 million which would be pretty damn sweet. Israel, here I come!

Tonight my buddy (who has been crashing at my place for the last 2 weeks) is going to teach me how to play poker. I have been nagging him to teach me for quite some time now and he finally got himself a lovely set of chips in a fancy metal case so he's wanting to try it out. The moons have aligned just right and all going well, I shall be playing poker by the end of the evening. I am slightly concerned that I'm going to go crazy for poker since I have been known to get extremely obsessive over cards games (euchre) in the past. Playing online, playing with anyone who is willing and sometimes those who weren't so willing. I love cards! I guess we'll see how I take to poker.... it might not be my game since I am possibly one of the worst liars ever. (btw, I'll ask again, does anybody here play euchre?? I'm *still* trying to find a good partner to play online with)

Well, I have been mulling over suggestions you, my fine readers, have offered for ways to raise funds for my 5 month trip to Israel. Though initially not sold on the idea I am now leaning in the direction of maybe creating a calendar. I like the idea because then you guys will get something in return for your money donated which makes me feel a bit better about it (since I'm not so keen on handouts). However, I have two concerns about it: (1) can I keep the cost of making them low enough that people will be willing to buy them? (2) how many should I make, keeping in mind that I have to put the money up front and if there are any left over calendars I will have to eat the cost.

With that in mind, let me ask you guys.... how much would be too much for a calendar? I think it's going to have to be at least $20-25 (CAN) in order to cover my costs and still make enough to collect money for the trip. And that's only a guess right now.. I may find that it's more like $30, and to me that seems steep. What do you guys think? It would be a nice calendar with photos I have taken (just of Israel? or some of my other photos too? let me know what you think! my photoblogs are here and here and here) and I would probably make it for Sept 2005 - Sept 2006 (it's only May afterall.... a 2006 calendar seems silly since 2006 is a good 6 months away, and the Jewish calendar runs from Sept - Sept).

Anyway, I'm going to start shopping around for prices this weekend, because I would have to put this together pretty quick, and I have no idea what I'm doing. If you have any other suggestions for fund raising PLEASE SPEAK UP!!! I need all the help I can get.

And speaking of Israel I have added a new blog "If you will it...". A young man from England and his adventures as a new immigrant in Israel. Check it out and show him some lovin', he's a great guy.

As a parting gift, I leave you with this video for the song Apache. It. Is. HILARIOUS. (hat tip: Geoff) Shabat Shalom!

 
Happy 57th Birthday, Israel! Yes, in true Israeli style, the country went from it's most somber and saddest of days (Yom Hazikaron, their memorial day marking the remembrance of all the fallen soldiers who died so that Israel may exist) to the very happiest of days....Yom Ha'atzmaut. Independence Day!

I wrote and absolutely glowing and gushing post about this event last year if you care to read it. As for this year.. I just feel like quietly celebrating all that Israel has managed to overcome and achieve. This year saw Israel's first gold Olympic medal, for example. Think Israel is all about war and religion? Check out this website, Israel21c, where you will learn about how Israel is growing red algae in the desert to fight diseases, harnessing the power of tea tree oil for healthier agriculture growing, or how Israel is quickly becoming the top exporter of top-of-line bath towels to Las Vegas. Or maybe try reading the group blog Israelity where Israeli bloggers share posts about everyday life in Israel, with no talk of politics or war, to get an idea of what life there is really like.

Today is the day you should make an effort to shift your view about what really goes on in Israel. It's is not a place where people live in terror and walk around in flak jackets. This is a living, thriving, breathing country with amazing people, an amazing culture and some of the best food and beaches in the world.

Today I celebrate Israel. AM YISRAEL CHAI!

 
Today is Yom Hazikaron in Israel. Sirens sound and people once again stop and take a moment to remember Israel's fallen soldiers. This particular Remembrance Day has personal significance since the loss of Mulder's brother is still fresh; he was killed during his army service just 2 weeks ago (if you haven't yet, go to the blog Mulder made for his brother. see what has been lost and what is being remembered today). Now I have a greater understanding for what it is to lose someone to protect a country. The cost is high, but if it's not paid, the country does not continue to exist. There are few countries that must be vigilant against its enemy each and every day, each and every hour, like Israel needs to be.

For more information about Yom Hazikaron click here.

 
Ok, I'm back to obsessing over finding a way to finance the 5 month trip to Israel I want to go on with Livnot (being accepted into their program has been one of the most frustrating experiences to date, I'll tell ya). I don't know what it was about this particular morning but I woke up with that familiar feeling in my gut like I gotta find my way back to Israel again. The feeling is always there, but the strength of the drive ebbs and tides. Maybe it's the warmer weather here that has me dreaming of Israel again? *shrug* I dunno. Maybe because I have friends over there that I am dying to see again? Probably.

So I need some help here. I need some really good suggestions on how I can raise some money. Yes, when the time comes up I will put up a begging bowl and grovel for donations, but I am looking for other ideas on how I can really raise some money... something like carwashes, but better. Be creative, maybe it can be something I do on my blog (a blogathon where people sponsor me and I blog for 24 hours straight? answer questions from readers about myself for $5 a pop? would any of you actually go for that or would it be a flop?) or something I can do in my life. I am fresh out of ideas but open to suggestions so let's have 'em. I'm hoping for a good brainstorming session here, so for those readers who never ever bother comment, now is the time to come out of hiding and speak up. If ya like me enough to come back time and time again to read than hopefully you like me enough to stop lurking and share some ideas.

I need some help here folks... help me, help me! :-)

 
So I haven't whined about my possible 5 month trip to Israel in a while.... maybe I'm due? Well, I guess I haven't written anything about it because there's nothing to really report. I have submitted my application for financial aid and all I can really do now is sit and pray until I find out how much, if any, I will receive (I won't find out until June 15th). Unless it's extremely generous I won't be able to go, so if anyone knows any rich Jews who'd like to sponsor lil' ole me on an adventure to Israel do let me know. Despite my best efforts I did *not* win the 22.5 million dollar jackpot this weekend. I'll try again this weekend.

What else....?

Um. I'm reading a book called "The Case for Israel" by Alan Dershowitz. An excellent book that outlines and dispels arguments and myths surrounding the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I am learning SO much and would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about the situation and understand the accusations against Israel.

I have put up a whole whack of pictures up on my photoblog "Dreaming In Blue" if you care to take a peek. You may find some amusing...

Boy... I sure am shootin' blanks today. I got nuthin'! Maybe something will come to me later in the day...

 
So I was going to write a post yesterday but I was so miserable and grumpy and angry that it would have sounded much like this: $%#*work@? $#!crisis*&% +stress#$%!
See how that wouldn't have made for a very good post? I had possibly the most craptacular week at work that I can remember and it was punctuated with the worst and slowest moving Friday ever. It was the day that simply would NOT end. And since this week would only leave kicking and screaming I was rewarded with a cherry on top of the crap sundae..... a huge traffic jam on the way home because of an overturned dump truck. Took me twice as long to get home.

But hey... it was ok. It was all ok because I knew I had the weekend to look forward to and the weather promised to be good. So my friend (who is staying with me this week and next) and I ordered a pizza, chilled out, watched the series finale of my beloved show Third Watch (I can't talk about it yet... I'm so sad it's ended) and then went and grabbed a late night coffee with another friend. The three of us sat and discussed our plans for the upcoming Star Wars movie and how early we will have to stand in line to get the seat we want. We already have tickets to the midnight show on May 18th (making it technically the 19th, the legal release date) and we are pumped, excitable little geeks. We're hoping George Lucas amends his ways and redeems himself for the two previous shitty films. *fingers crossed*

For today I am doing whatever the hell strikes my fancy and helps me deflate and recover from my bad week. My friend has gone off on his own for the day so I went and grabbed some groceries and picked up a little present for my mom for Mother's Day tomorrow. My parents and I will be heading up north to see my grandmother for Mother's Day which will make her very happy. We'll eat and play cards which constitutes a great time by our standards. :-)

Hope everyone else is having a great weekend and that the weather is as nice wherever you are as it is here.

P.S. Ilana over at Sugar 'N Spicy used one of the photos I took in Israel (Haifa) for her banner on her blog, check it out here!

 
It's days like this that make me wish I was in Israel. I can only imagine the power of watching an entire country come to a standstill as sirens wail and people stand in a moment of silence for those lost in the Holocaust. People stop their cars on the highways and get out to stand silently out of respect for the MILLIONS of lives lost at the hands of ignorance and hate. I wish I could be there to be part of that moment. All I can do is read about the experience from other bloggers and close my eyes and imagine..

For more information on the Holocaust please check out the Holocaust Chronicle. It is a big beautiful hardcover book that I bought for a mere $20 and is also *fully* available to read online for free. It was published and printed at a low cost in order to make sure it was available at a reasonable price to anyone who wanted to learn more (and for those who can't afford it's FREE online! what more can you ask for?). Please support the organization by stopping by and maybe you'll even learn a little something.

Many say that Jews bring up the Holocaust too much, that it is used as an excuse or a crutch. But tell me... if you lost 6 million of your people would you ever let yourself forget? To stop talking about it would be the beginning of forgetting. We must not forget what happened and that it can happen again. We must remember those that were lost and continue to share the stories of their lives so they may live on.

In 2004 anti-semitism reached a 15 year high....and unless we remind people that it is unacceptable it's entirely possible that another Holocaust could take place. So today I ask you to remember. And when you hear someone make an anti-semitic remark... have the strength to stand up and say that's not right. And remember why.
Remember the Jews, the Blacks, the physically and mentally handicapped, the gays and all the other minorities lost. This doesn't just effect the Jews.. It affects us all. I'll tell ya what... if you stand up for me, I will stand up for you. Deal?

 
I know, where the hell have I been right? What can I say, work has been kicking my ass this week. Work rarely kicks my ass and its even more rare that it stresses me out so when it does it causes me to have to drop everything else to focus on it to sort it out, otherwise I get a little addle-brained and that's no damn good.

That being said I am going to be keeping this brief; I have a friend crashing at my place all week because I am making him go into work with me to help out so as to calm my stress level. He's an angel for helping me with my work crisis... remember to always surround yourself with good friends.
And I am trying to write up a business proposal for a friend of mine who struggles with his English. This is the guy who runs the meditation group I sit with every Sunday, so I am happy to help him draw up a plan to open a meditation centre. I think it's a great idea and hope he can get the financing.... I can only pray that I write up a great proposal for him and he gets the government grant (no pressure there at all!). *fingers crossed*

Most of you know by now I was spending a lot of time at the "Hot Docs" festival last week here in Toronto, watching Israeli documentaries. Well, I am happy to announce that a documentary called "Sentenced to Marriage" won as best Israeli documentary. Here's a synopsis:

"Personal rights of freedom and independence clash with centuries of orthodox Jewish law when two young Israeli women struggle to obtain legal divorces in a country that has no separation of church and state. Through audio recordings and hidden camera footage, Anat Zuria takes us behind the closed doors of the Israeli rabbinical courts to track the Kafkaesque web of religious and governmental bureaucracy. Although separated husbands are permitted to couple with new women and even withhold child support, under Jewish law, wives are prohibited from contact with other men and are fated to be chaste until an official divorce is issued. The barren and gloomy rooms of the courthouse provide a bleak backdrop for the tireless efforts of, on one side, the aggravated wives and their solicitors and, on the other, the rabbinical judges who regularly side with the husbands and their lawyers. Sentenced to Marriage is a powerful indictment of a legal system that, Zuria suggests, is at best an anachronism and at worst a demoralizing labyrinth of misogynistic inequity."

Amazing! I wish I had been able to see it.... it sounds like a great topic and will hopefully open up people to discussion on the matter.

Anyway, that will be the last I go on about the documentary film festival, I promise. It's over now. What I *will* mention though is a story about 6 students who created a Nazi website and were expelled from their school for it (bravo!).

"Six students at an exclusive Toronto private school have been disciplined in connection with an anti-Semitic website. Royal St. George College has expelled three students and suspended three others following an investigation into the site, which contained Nazi images.

The boys' alleged involvement came to light after a female student at another private school sent a note to the site's chat room. When the Branksome Hall student urged the site's creators to remove some of its offensive content, she received a graphic reply that prompted the investigation. The website has been taken offline."

Yes, anti-semitism is alive and well here in Canada too, I hate to say..... and in kids so young! I'm glad the students got expelled though I am not entirely sure it was to discipline them so much as get rid of them so their actions do not reflect upon this "upper class" school. Either way, I am glad some kind of action was taken and not just a slap on the wrist.

Alright alright.... enough of the serious stuff. Go play some Pacman. (why oh WHY have I always and forever sucked at this very simple game??)

 
You may recall last week when I mentioned that my friend and fellow blogger Mulder had lost his brother who died while serving in the Israeli army. Well, Mulder has created a blog in his brother's memory.... a place for photographs and stories to be shared so that his brother's memory may live on. If you like, stop by and see Tsiki's Blog.

 
So. I went to see this Israeli documentary last night called "Wall", which was about the security fence that Israel is building in and around the West Bank. Before I give my rant allow me to offer a synopsis:

"This austere and cinematic doc explores what is perhaps the most controversial border since the Berlin Wall: Israel's 400-mile security fence. Amidst escalating political, environmental and cultural tensions, filmmaker Simone Bitton calls upon her dual Jewish and Arab heritage to help her straddle the cultures that are physically and symbolically severed by the massive construction project. Wall presents its namesake in severe graphic compositions that articulate an immoderate number of paradoxes: the shield of life, itself lifeless; the security buffer that presents new dangers; the protector of land that scars the countryside. Through interviews with Palestinian and Israeli locals that live along the fence's path, Bitton examines the long-term efficacy of a nation's colossal defensive gambit. Set against stunning visuals of miles and miles of concrete and barbed wire, personal commentaries provide a deeply human context for the cold and monolithic barrier now in their midst."

Let me first start by saying I really didn't like this film. The trouble perhaps lies with me and what I expected and/or hoped the film would be. What I had *hoped* it would be was a fair and balanced examination of the issues. I was hoping it would show the devastation the Israelis have experienced which is forcing them to take this drastic measure and I was hoping it would open my eyes to the suffering of the Palestinians who are losing land and crops to this separation fence. What I got was an unfair and unbalanced look at the issue.

First of all, I did not feel that the woman of Jewish and Arab heritage was as conflicted as she would have us believe. She was clearly on the side of the Palestinians. When discussing who was against the fence she took the route that would impact the audience most, understandably, and interviewed both Israelis and Palestinians who gave stories of suffering and despair. Fine, I have no problem with that, and indeed it helped me understand the plight of the innocent Palestinians (as opposed to the terrorist Palestinians).

However, when discussing who was FOR the fence she only took a factual stance and interviewed just one person (as opposed to the 10+ she interviewed for those who are against). And the person she chose to interview was a military man (Amos Yaron?) who spoke in facts but only in context of the questions the director asked. This is fine as well since it is important to understand from a military point of view why Israel is doing it. But where were the human interest interviews for this side of the debate? We were shown Israelis and Palestinians who were upset by the building of the fence and our emotions and sympathies were stirred for them, but WHERE was the emotional pull in favour of building the fence? In other words..... why did we not see one single interview with a family who lost someone to a suicide bomber? Why were we not shown the remains of a bus, blown from the inside out? Why was it not mentioned that terror attacks are down 90% from the areas surrounded by the fence? The director was too busy finding upset people who would say it wasn't working when in fact it is.

I was disappointed to see that the film was clearly slanted towards the Palestinians. For a woman who claimed to feel torn as an Arab and a Jew I didn't sense much understanding for those Jews who have lost a mother, a father, a brother, sister or even a child because of a terrorist attack perpetrated by a Palestinian. The Jews have been waiting over 55 years for peace and they are tired of waiting. Can you blame them for building a fence? Oh and by the way... it is a FENCE, not a wall. 3 - 5% of the security fence is concrete.... the rest is a chain-link type of fence. Also, as a note, fences can come down. This is not a permanent wall, this is something that can be dismantled when peace is reached (has everyone forgotten about the Berlin Wall?). Until then, I defend Israel's right to protect itself. (for more of what the fence looks like click here and scroll down. for an FAQ go here)

And don't get me wrong... I agree with a lot of what the director was trying to get across. I feel terrible for the Palestinians who cannot reach their fields because they have been cut off. I don't always agree with the route of the fence that Israel has chosen, but in the end a fence can be removed but lives cannot be brought back. However, if you wanted to try and sell the idea that it's bad to those of us who support it you need to make us feel like our side is heard too, and I don't believe it was. I may dislike the film but the director can show what she wants, that's her prerogative. If I don't like it that's my problem, I was just sad to think of what the anti-Israel people who saw it came out of it thinking..

Oh and by the way... Israel was NOT the first to build such a fence. Check this out and ask yourself.... why is it no one tried to stop any of those those fences from being built? Why were those countries not dragged to "The World Court" for defending themselves from their neighbours? Why is Israel held to such a different standard? Why indeed.

 
First of all, as if I can't stand Bush enough, I'd really like to say a big screw you for ruining Survivor night for me last night. Thanks to your little speech about I-don't-give-a-flying-fig what, you pre-empted Survivor to 9pm instead of 8pm. I ended up going home instead of staying at Princess Blondie's house to watch it because I was so tired I could barely stay awake let alone until 10pm and then drive 20 mins back to my home. Blondie and I had to settle for watching it apart and calling each other when it ended to discuss our sheer annoyance that our favourite played had been voted out. I blame it all on Bush.

On Tuesday I did something interesting... I went and spent the day with my friend 'Melra' (you've seen her comment on here from time to time) and her grade 5 class. It was a great experience and I would happily do it again. It's fun seeing my friends at their jobs! So out of context from how I know them. And kids these days! Pfft! lol

As a wacky side story, I was sitting in the staff room with Melra and another teacher when I remarked outloud that I was going to start calling the other teacher Casper. There was no real reason why I chose that name, I just couldn't remember what his real name was and this was the closest I could come up. And then, I swear not 2 minutes later, a kid came walking into the staff room wearing a Casper shirt. I kid you not!! We were all a little freaked out by the coincidence... it was truly bizarre.

You like books? There's a big book sale going on over at Book Closeouts.com. I have shopped there several times before and can't recommend them enough. Cheap stuff (even when not on sale) and reasonable shipping cost, so go check 'em out.

You like Paper/Rock/Scissors? Here's an online version and if you scroll down there is a list of links to a whole bunch of other online versions. Maybe if you get real good you can come to Toronto for the world championships! (I tells ya, I can't make this shit up! look how seriously these referees take their jobs!)

Why does Joan of Arcadia make me cry every single time I watch it? Last week I cried when there was a scene involving a synagogue burning down and a firefighter walking out of the flames with the Torah in his arms. For reasons I cannot possibly explain, seeing that the fire fighter went in and specifically rescued the Torah totally made me cry. I know, it's a tv show.

Tonight I am heading to the gym after work and then out to see another Israeli documentary called "Wall" about the security fence in Israel. I am very much looking forward to it and will give my thoughts on it tomorrow. Meantime I wish everyone a happy and safe weekend. Mulder, I hope you are ok. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Shabat Shalom

 
Well, last night I met up with fellow blogger Andrea to see another film in the Hot Docs film festival of documentaries (including a spotlight on Israeli films). We saw a film called "The Next War: Radical Zionists in the Holy Land" (aka: Israel's Next War) and WOW was it an eye opener! Here's a synopsis:

"Emmy Award-winning filmmaker Dan Setton follows up on his last film, which explored the violent world of Muslim extremists, with The Next War, an inside look at the increasing militancy of Israel's radical Zionists. This rare glimpse into the realm of extreme Jewish fundamentalists who endorse the use of violence sheds light on a frightening new phase of the Arab-Israeli conflict. Setton follows the arrest and trial of two Israelis charged with the attempted bombing of an Arab girls' school, and explores the convictions of a community determined to cleanse the country of its Arab inhabitants. As Israelis and Palestinians renew efforts to reach an accord, is the biggest threat to peace coming from within Jewish communities that feel "only chaos can change the situation"?"

I wanted to see it because I wanted to understand the struggle of the "settlers" of Israel who fight to live in parts of Gaza and the West Bank. I wanted to understand their view since the media has a way of vilifying them and making it sound like they are the root of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Also, I wanted to see if what I heard was true... Jews attacking Arabs, cutting down groves of olive trees and shooting at Palestinians. I think that I have had a hard time admitting that Israel or its people could ever be in the wrong, even though deep down inside I knew it to be true.

I achieved exactly what I set out to do and then some. I began to get a glimpse into the struggle of the settlers and why they do what they do. I learned about their beliefs and what drives them to put themselves in such mortal danger. I learned about why they retaliate, and yes, why they instigate. And I saw a side of Jews that hurt me to the core. I saw openly expressed hatred for Arabs and a call for violence in order to expel them from Israel. I saw Jews lowering themselves to tactics I thought only Palestinians were capable of.... I saw them describe an attempt to set off a very large bomb in front of an Arab girls school (thank God they were stopped). My stomach turned as I listened to these Jews declare that only war will solve this "problem" known as Arabs. This was a dark side of Jews I knew existed and I didn't want to believe was true.

In the end I understood and sympathized to some degree with their cause though I can in no way condone their tactics. I understand their feelings of betrayal as the government that once encouraged and financed them to move to these places is now ejecting them from their homes. I understand it all yet I don't, if you know what I mean. All religions have fanatics who take their particular holy book and interpret it and quote it to suit their cause, and Judaism is just as guilty of that as any other religion. I didn't want to admit it, but I can't close my eyes to it anymore.

I want to point out one thing that surprised me about this film and that was the fact that the film did not demonize these people as the media does. They did not paint them as the enemy, but rather told their stories through interviews, showed that they were human and why they feel the way they do. I was fully expecting this film to attack these people and was pleasantly surprised when it did not.

And I couldn't help but think of Mulder's brother who was recently lost while serving in the army whenever I saw soldiers on the screen. And the more footage I see of Israel the more my heart aches to get back there again..

Tomorrow night I will be seeing a movie called "Wall" about, what else?, the controversial security wall that Israel is building to separate itself from the West Bank. This is another one I am very much looking forward to for I think I will be exposed to some interesting views and hopefully some facts.

But for tonight.... it's Survivor night with a pregnant Princess Blondie. I could use a night of fun since the movies (and events) this week have been pretty intense.

 
This week there is a documentary film festival going on here in Toronto (I'm told the biggest in the world, I think) called Hot Docs and this year there is a special spotlight on Israeli documentaries. I have been able to reap the benefit of this spotlight by getting a few tickets for some of the films.

Last night I went to a double-header and saw one film called "Keep Not Silent (Ortho-Dykes)" and another film called "Say Amen". Here is a synopsis for "Keep Not Silent":

"This award-winning film explores the secret lives of three orthodox Jewish lesbians who join an underground support group to cope with their conflicting worlds. The religious 'ortho-dykes' include Miriam-Esther, a married mother of 10; Ruth, whose husband allows her to see her female lover twice weekly; and Yudith, a rabbi's daughter who openly declares her sexuality. The intensity with which these women struggle with their conflicting worlds of faith and sexuality is profound, and the personal costs of the choices they face - continued self-suppression versus coming out to an intolerant society - are high."

This was an extremely powerful movie as it filmed these woman wrestling with conflicting feelings and values. An amazing film, I highly recommend it.
Here's a synopsis for "Say Amen":

"The walls are closing in around David Dery in his homophobic - and increasingly claustrophobic - world. The youngest in a large, outspoken and orthodox Jewish family, David has yet to share the news of his sexuality with the rest of the Dery clan. The 'don't ask, don't tell' policy is not one that this colourful family ascribes to, and David faces a constant barrage from his brothers and parents, demanding to know when he will bring a nice girl home for Shabbat dinner. As the pressure builds, David must make the difficult decision to fight for acceptance and risk losing his family. David's brave first-person account provides an authentic and moving portrait of the tension between the modern and traditional societies in Israel."

This film was heart wrenching to watch as the young man, David, reveals his homosexuality to his extremely religious family. I often wonder how it is that parents can trade their child in for religious beliefs. Is religion really more important than loving your child? Good film, give you lots to think about.

Tonight I am seeing a film (with fellow blogger Andrea) called "The Next War: Radical Zionists in the Holy Land" which I am really looking forward to. I hope it helps me understand another side of Israel and Judaism and the overall battle for Gaza and the West Bank. Every religion has it's fanatics, and Judaism is no exception.

 
I just read on Mulder's blog that his brother was killed during his army service (in Israel). As I read the post I clamped my hand over my mouth in shock. I had read about the incident in the news, but I had not seen the name. I didn't know it was his brother.

Baby, I am SO sorry for your loss. My love goes out to you and your family at this extremely difficult time...

UPDATE: Mulder, I am calling and calling and calling your cell but I can't get through!! Damn Israeli phones!! Call me if you can and I will keep trying to reach you.

UPDATE 2: Finally talked to Mulder. He sounded good, all things considered (I was the one doing the crying on the phone!). I have been crying about this on and off all morning. I hate to see a close friend go through such a terrible situation, and I wish there was more I could do. I wish I was in Israel to give him a big hug. I have been pouring over all the news articles about it trying to make sense of it (I am withholding details to protect Mulder's anonymity, though many Israelis likely already know of the event). If you would like to send your condolences why don't you head on over to Mulder's blog and show a fellow blogger a little love and support.

 
Alright, I *so* never do this sort of thing but Priss has tagged me and I am obliged to play along. So, without further ado (read: complaining) here are my answers...

If I could be a llama-rider... I'd show camel riders who's boss!

If I could be a bonnie pirate... I'd get me lots of booty! heh. *wink*

If I could be a linguist... I would finally get this crazy Hebrew language figured out.

If I could be a scientist... I would be a MAD scientist for sure!!

If I could be a justice on any one court in the world… it would be THE "World Court" so I could overturn the decisions made by those misinformed and ignorant miscreants (ie: ruling that it was illegal for Israel to build a fence to protect itself)

And now, as curses work, I must tap 3 more people in order to have the curse lifted from myself. So..... Sam, Katie-Yael, and Mulder! Pick five of the options below and tell us what you would do..

* If I could be a scientist…
* If I could be a farmer…
* If I could be a musician…
* If I could be a doctor…
* If I could be a painter…
* If I could be a gardener…
* If I could be a missionary…
* If I could be a chef…
* If I could be an architect…
* If I could be a linguist…
* If I could be a psychologist…
* If I could be a librarian…
* If I could be an athlete…
* If I could be a lawyer…
* If I could be an inn-keeper…
* If I could be a professor…
* If I could be a writer…
* If I could be a llama-rider…
* If I could be a bonnie pirate…
* If I could be an astronaut…
* If I could be a world famous blogger…
* If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…
* If I could be married to any current famous political figure…

If you don't I will cry and you don't want that. Also, I will continue to be cursed and that's a horrible way to be. I think I die in 7 days or something. No wait, that was The Ring. Ok, back to the crying then... you don't want me to cry, right? Besides, we'll all be checking your blogs now to see that you're doing it. You wouldn't want to let us down, now would you? I didn't think so. Any complaints you have may be directed to Priss, not me.

 
It cost me $84 frikkin' dollars to ship the financial forms to the Livnot offices in Jerusalem today (it had to be Purolator in order to get it there by the May 1st deadline). OUCH!! That was a lot of moolah. I thought I was going to have a stroke when the post office woman told me how much. $84!?! Ack! So far it has cost me about $200 just to apply and *think* about going on this 5 month trip... who knows if I'll even get the financial aid to go! Double Ack!

I think I know the real solution to this.... I just need to find me an Israeli boy to marry. Those willing and able may apply within.

 
Well, I just spent a stressful hour and a half filling out the forms for financial aid for my (possible) trip to Israel, via the 5 month Livnot program. Of course I say "possible" because it all hinges on this form and how well it's received. I must say, by filling it all out and making a list of my expenses it's no bloody wonder I am so damn poor. I really have no business taking this trip but that's not much going to stop me. All reason is getting tossed out the window if money falls into my lap allowing me to pursue this dream.

Anyway, this form has to be in Israeli hands by May 1st.... Saturday... so I will have to shell out big money to courrier it there on time. I blame myself for dragging my feet (I seem to need a deadline to really inspire me) and I also blame the fact that I got mixed messages on whether or not I could e-mail it, fax it or snail-mail it. As it turns out it *has* to be snail-mailed (due to signatures) which I didn't find out until last week. So mail it I will. Keep your fingers crossed folks, and hope that my letter pleading my case falls into the right hands.

In case you are wondering about the picture of me it's not about vanity (since I just put up a pic of myself recently) it's about me showing off the new toy I got today while at a toy show with my geek friends today. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I finally got my hands on the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) Givati Recon soldier I have been seeking for months now. The gentleman who sold it to me remembered me asking for it last year so he made a point of bringing it to the show today in the hopes I'd be there. I squealed with delight and quickly made this mini-Israeli mine (and I wonder why I'm poor??).

Ugh, between the excitement over my new toy and anxiety about this financial aid application, I'll never get to sleep tonight. Hope everyone had a great weekend!