I swear to god it HAS to be easier to construct an atomic bomb than it is to cook rice. When I first moved out on my own I tried various types of rice and all manner of techniques for cooking. Uncle Ben was not my friend. Frankly, I wonder how Aunt Jemima could stay married to such temperamental man. Eventually I settled on basmati rice, my favourite to this day. Love the stuff. However, cooking it was a challenge for a long time until I had finally asked an expert.... my Chinese friend of mine that I have known since highschool.

Her instructions were to put the amount of rice in that you want and then add water until it measures to the first knuckle on your pinky above the level of the rice (in other words, if that wasn't clear, put your fingertip on top of your rice and pour until it comes up to your first knuckle). After that just boil until the water is gone and voila! You have rice. That technique had served me well until my mom told me how to make it in the microwave, and then that became my technique of choice.

However all that went out the window last night when I decided to continue my quest for healthier eating by changing to brown rice. I blame Princess Blondie for much of my evolved eating habits over the last year and a half that I have known her.. soy milk, whole wheat bread, bran, whole wheat pasta, tofu in my matzo ball soup.... you get the point. Anyway, when I was last grocery shopping I finally found brown basmati rice, something I had been on the hunt for quite some time. I figured it would another easier way for me to slowly change my eating habits to something a little more healthy, so I picked it up. Last night was the night I was going to try it with the chicken korma I had made. Mm! By the time I had gotten home from the gym, showered, and begun cooking the korma I was quite hungry. The korma takes about 20 mins to cook on the stove so I figured I would give it 5 mins and then I would start cooking the rice, since it normally takes about 15 mins to cook in the microwave. However, as I read the side on the bag of rice I noticed that in fact it takes twice as long to cook brown rice than it does white. I began to fear that I might starve and hurried about measuring it, reading the instructions for the mircowave and cooking it.

To make a long story short after carefully monitoring the rice for nearly 40 mins (as per the instructions!) including checking on it every five mins, it was in the final five mins that I pulled it out of the microwave only to find a crusty hunk of rice at the bottom of the bowl. After starving for 40 mins I was back to square one with the rice. Now... normally I can throw a pretty good tantrum at this stage but recognizing (for once in my life) that this wasn't going to help I calmed down and weighed my options. Try again with the brown or make the ole standard white? I decided I was not going to let this rice defeat me.. I was going to try again. This time I would do it on the stovetop to shave about 10 mins off the time (35 - 45 mins, as opposed to the ridiculous 40 - 45 mins in the micro... what the hell are microwaves good for??). So after an hour of starving and waiting and smelling food I was finally ready to try the rice.

So? How was it after such a big build up to the moment? Wellllllll... it tasted for all the world like I was eating hot oatmeal. Mm! Nothing says dinner like a semi-spicy Indian dish on top of some porridge! :-/ I wasn't altogether impressed, but then again, by the time the stuff touched my lips it all seemed so anti-climatic. The lesson here? You may be able to give up the white bread but the white rice may not be so easy. I'll try it again another time.

Oh, and I have decided what I am going to do with some of my lottery winnings when I win. I am going to buy my way into the zoo. I will pay them a ton of money so that they will let me go in and play with baby chimps and koalas and such. Now THAT would make happy.