You may have noticed I haven't felt like writing for the past couple of days. I found myself just sort of shutting down a bit...seemed to be a reflex or coping strategy my brain decided upon in order to get through recent events. I haven't had much to say, and I had just been feeling far too much lately. The picture you see here is the sky I saw as I was standing in a Wal-mart parking lot on Saturday. I felt it was so appropriate to how I was feeling.... light and dark colliding. The happiness of my trip to Israel next week overshadowed by the tragic events over the past week.

At the visitation on Sunday I met with the couple (friends of the family and business partners) who lost their 20 year old son to a car accident last Friday. Hundreds of us lined up outside and slowly filed in to see the family who stood in a receiving line at the front of the church to greet us. As you slowly made your way down the line and through the church (took about 10 mins) there were bulletin boards along the way with huge collages of pictures of their son Dan through the years as he grew up. I don't think a single one of us had dry eyes after looking at this beautiful blonde boy who would never grow up to have a wife and family of his own. By the time I got to his parents I gave them a huge hug and fought back the tears. The mother pulled me away from her hug and looked me in my eyes to ask me how I was; I glanced down at the floor to try and hide my tears as I mumbled that I was fine, but she was persistent and lowered her head to meet my eyes, holding my arms firmly in her hands almost as if to keep me from fleeing, and asked again how I was .. Obviously she was seeking the truth and I couldn't hide it, or my tears. I said that I was doing okay and that I was so very sorry for her loss. She stood there with such strength and poise, I could only be in awe of her.

I made my way to the father next and was quickly engulfed in his big sincere hug. He pointed to a graduation picture of his son on a table behind him and said: "That's my boy. That's my boy and now he's gone. We had to close the casket this morning and say goodbye". The father seemed to be functioning much more on a level of numbness and shock, and my heart ached for him. It ached for his whole family, as I made my way down the receiving line and saw that the brothers left behind were clearly less together about all this than the parents. Afterwards my mother and I went to the ladies room to blow our noses and to try and "freshen up". Then we all went for ice cream, as if that would make us feel better.

As an odd sidestory to all this, allow me to mention something I saw while standing in line in the front foyer of the church. In the lobby area there was a wall of pamphlets and brochures. What caught my eye was that one of the pamphlets had a picture of a menorah on it. So I stepped out of line, grabbed the pamphlet, and stepped back in. I just *had* to see what this is all about since this was an uber-Christian church.

On the front of the pamphlet it reads:
"Chosen People Ministries" "Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they may be saved." Romans 10:1

Hm. A quote from the "New" Testament, but okay, whatever.

Inside I read this:
"Our Purpose: To preach the Gospel of Jesus the Messiah to the Jewish people throughout the world."

Ah, it's becoming clear now...they are looking to convert Jews.

"EVANGELISM: Chosen People Ministries seeks to evangelize Jewish people through the most effective and creative means possible"

Most effective and creative means possible!?!? What the hell does THAT mean??

"Our skilled and well trained staff share the Gospel with Jewish people in their homes and on the streets and campuses. We conduct Bible studies and evangelistic services, yet the core of our ministry is one-on-one, heart to heart, home to home."

Uh...do I need to remind everyone how I feel about people getting in my face about their religion in an effort to convert? I seriously have issues with people going out and trying to drum up followers. It creeps me out. And as I read this pamphlet I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable in this church.

"WITNESS: Share the Good News with your Jewish friends. Chosen People Ministries has the resources you need. If you are witnessing to a Jewish person and want us to pray, or to send materials to him or her, let us know by filling out the attached slip"

Don't EVER send me anything like that if you are my friend, ok?
Am I the only one that finds all this eerily manipulative?? Ugh.
For more on this you can check out their website.

Um, and what the frig is going on with Blogger? I won't even get into what a nightmare it was to get this post to publish (at one point it had published it 2 and sometimes 3 times). And WHAT is this super annoying NavBar they have introduced, and more importantly, how can I make it go away?!?!!? (note: the info page says it can't be disabled. You have NO idea how much this makes me hate Blogger. Yes, I'm SO choosey about such things that it could actually force me to investigate other options). And am I the only one that can't see my webpage title ("I Dream, Therefore I Am")??? GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: Ok, I fixed it so that the title is back. Stupid Blogger. So now at the top of my page there's the NavBar instead of the usual Google Ads (which I loathe to admit, looks a bit better. It's less intrusive than the big ad banners). What do you guys think? Are ya diggin' the option to search my blog with Google? I am. Ok, I *may* have to take back what I said about hating blogger. We'll see.

 
For the second night in a row I went over to Princess Blondie's house last night for dinner, only this time I stayed overnight. It was nice, coz then we spent the day together today driving around, shopping, visiting people, and having lunch together. It was really good to spend some time with her after such a hard week. Friends have a way of renewing a person's soul, ya know?

Today is the one year anniversary of the big blackout last summer, when nearly the entire eastern seaboard went dark because of a power outage. Personally, I loved it and the way it brought every together. It made everyone stop hurrying around for a while, and instead just stop and enjoy the stars that were no longer blurred out by the lights of the city. In fact, tonight many business owners in Toronto are shutting their lights off in remembrance of the event last year. Cool, hunh?

Anyway, I have just returned home from going out to dinner and a movie with my dad. We went and saw the new Tom Cruise film "Collateral". It was pretty good and it does well to hold your attention the entire time. In fact, at one point, I noticed how absolutely *silent* the theatre was. Not a soul was talking or even crinkling the wrapper on their food. The only other time I have heard an audience so quiet was for the movie "Phone Booth". My only real beef with the movie....the decision to make Tom Cruise's hair grey. Wtf?? I have no idea what they were trying to achieve coz he clearly doesn't look old enough to have an entire head of grey hair, so I found it strange and distracting. It took away from the believability of the character as far as I'm concerned, but what do I know? *shrug*

Moving along..... tomorrow my family and I will join our business partner/friend of the family to express our grief over the loss of his young son (only 20 years old!!). The visitation/viewing is tomorrow and I don't think I will be attending the funeral on Monday; frankly, 2 funerals in 6 days is about more than I can handle, especially since they are funerals for such young people. It adds such a horrible dimension to the grief, and I don't have the heart to witness it again so soon. An article in the paper about the accident can be found here.

 
Once upon a time I used to say that there was nothing wrong with Friday the 13ths. That people are silly and superstitious about them for no reason. Heck *I* was born a Friday the 13th, and had always had good luck on those days! However, I think today may have changed my view on the matter.

This morning our offices (comprised of a whopping 6 of us, so we're tight-knit) got a call from one of our closest business partners; his 20 year old son was killed in a car accident this morning. I don't know how our partner even had the strength to call us, but he did. Now we are all walking around in a daze (a few crying), distracted by grief and unable to comprehend. Everyone is upset and heartbroken for our dearest and sweetest partner and friend; we are at a loss as to what to do or say; we all know there is nothing we can say that will comfort him and his family.So it looks like I'll be going to another funeral this week, likely on Sunday. :-(

I was going to write a big excited post about how it's one month until my 30th birthday, but somehow it hardly matters anymore....
I just want this week to be over, please. I can't handle anymore, I just can't. I need a vacation and I need it now. 13 days and counting.

 
There's another mention of Aviva in the newspaper today. I guess I should feel something positive about this mention because it's an article/editorial talking about how people need to smarten up about boat safety, and used her as an example of what can happen if people disregard rules and regulations.
Really, I should stop looking in the news about her now. It's done, and I should start getting on with my life and healing....

On a happier note, today is the start of the two week countdown to when I leave for Israel. Hurray! I started making lists last night of things I need to do, buy and pack before I go. This brought on immediate stress as I suddenly realized all I have to do before I go. And I don't know how people pack days in advance, but I simply can't. I have to pack the morning I leave...maybe a bit the night before. But I wanna be dressed and ready when I pack so I have used everything I need and I can now pack it to go.

I have also been looking through a travel book for Israel to see what I might want to do. Is it bad that the book is 3 years outdated? No matter, if I read something I am interested in, I look it up on the net. I was going to write to a few of you who read my blog and offered help but I got a little sidetracked this week with all that has happened. Maybe this weekend when I finally have a moment to breathe.
And tonight I am having dinner at Princess Blondie's new home. Yay! Which reminds me.... the next Survivor series start September 16th. Blondie and I will be curling up on her couch in her new home to watch it together every Thursday, just like we did last season. :-)

 
Reports are just coming in about a terrorist attack in Israel. The bombing was on the northern border of Jerusalem, and as it stands now it looks like it killed 2 people and wounded 7 others. However reports are conflicting at this early stage....

Update: A day after the bombing, Jerusalem is still on a high terror alert. Details have come out about this latest attack and it shows that the system in Israel works much of the time; the army was alerted to a terrorist warning that someone might try and infiltrate into Jerusalem with a bomb and so they put up a surprise roadblock/checkpoint. Sure enough the terrorists were unable to get in so they placed their bomb between two cars that were waiting in line to get through the checkpoint, and when soldiers approached the cars it was detonated (do the math, folks. it means they were watching from a distance). Interestingly enough it didn't kill any Israelis, instead killing 2 Palestinians (19 others were wounded, including 6 Israeli border officers). Of course the Palestinians refused to believe that one of their own did it, instead choosing to blame the Israelis. Hmmmm.. if the Israelis did it, how come the terrorists are (oops!) apologizing for killing a few of their own people? Sounds a lot like confessing to me...

 
The funeral yesterday was surreal on so many levels. The sheer number of people was unbelievable as people lined up around the block to file into the synagogue. Eventually it became standing room only, with some people not even fitting inside the synagogue. While I stood in line to go in I noticed a cameraman across the street filming everyone. I found myself suddenly angry that the press would dare film this private and painful moment, and I had a moment of understanding for all those who have had to grieve in the glaring light of the press and public eye after a tragic event involving a loved one. Later I would see the footage of the funeral on the 6 o'clock news and get even more angry as I saw close-ups of relatives hugging and sobbing, again making me rage at the intrusion of it all.

What can I say about the funeral? It was sad and moving as we all came together to remember a wonderful woman taken from us too soon. It was heart wrenching to hear person after person get up to say a few words. I was amazed that Aviva's brother and sister, Aaron and Jen, had the strength to even speak. I'm not so sure I could have.

After the service I gathered with my classmates and teacher from my Hebrew class; we spoke of the tragedy and of our other classmate Mark. He was one of Aviva's closest friends and was also her business partner. He had talked to our teacher earlier and said he will not be returning to our class in September. While we all understood how difficult it would be to attend the class without her (since they always came together), my teacher wisely told him to wait and see how he feels next month, and reminded him that Aviva would have wanted him to continue with his studies. I sincerely hope he does, his absence would only add to the loss.
And we all also decided to postpone the Shabat dinner we had planned for this Friday.....our hearts just weren't in it. We all need a little time to heal first.

I notice there are still lots of people finding their way to my blog by typing Aviva's name into search engines; it would be nice if you said hi and maybe how you knew her. Don't be a stranger just lurking in the shadows! Say hello!

 
I've had to stop listening to the local news on tv....they keep talking about Aviva. It's driving me nuts, and causes me to burst into spontaneous fits of tears when I hear her being mentioned.

Today the newspaper is saying the coroner report shows that Aviva was killed instantly when she was struck by the boat indicating the boat was likely travelling at very high speeds. I guess we're supposed to somehow feel better that it was instantaneous, but it really doesn't make me feel better at all. The police are conducting a full investigation and are trying to track down the boat, but I doubt they will ever find it; there are a lot of boats on that lake, it's a big lake. I don't know, it just seems so surreal to be reading newspaper reports about someone I know. News is supposed to be about other people.

Last night I couldn't get my mind off all this, despite my best efforts. I did yoga for the 2nd time that day, went for a nice long bike ride, ordered pizza and watched a movie. When I finally got to sleep I was plagued by nightmares. I just want to go to the funeral today and whatever closure I can. This is just too much....it's too hard for my brain to process the death of someone so young. Just because I've had to deal with it before, doesn't make it any easier.....

To those who are coming to my blog because you have put Aviva's name into a search engine (and the numbers are growing): please feel free to say hi, and if you have the strength, share anything you like about her. I'd rather remember her as positively as I can.

 
I have just found out on the news this morning that a friend of mine (and a classmate from my Hebrew class) was killed over the weekend. Aviva Barth was struck by a boat while scuba diving; the boat passed into the diving area that had been marked off to indicate to boaters that divers were underneath the water. Ironically, she was with the diving school that I had worked for earlier this year (and her boyfriend is an instructor there).

I am terribly upset as I really loved having Aviva in my class. We had lots of lively talks and debates about Israel, and she had a true and deep passion for the country. Her passion had even lead to her standing toe-to-toe with anti-Israeli protesters on an occasion. She had family in Israel and had planned a trip this summer. Eerily, the last time I had spoken to Aviva we had talked about diving and the courses we had both taken. Who knew.....

I had e-mailed her on Saturday along with my other classmates as we have been planning to get together for Shabat dinner this Friday, something we had discussed over a month ago. I am heartbroken at the prospect of her not being there.
Her funeral is being held tomorrow and I think I am going to go.
More about Aviva here.

Update: Well, I have been crying off and on about this all day, mostly in my car to and from work when I'm alone and can really have a good cry. I'm flip-flopping between really deeply sad to totally angry. I am so sad that someone so young was taken from this world. I can't imagine what class is going to be like without her next month, and I cannot possibly imagine what her family is going through. And I think I'm a bit shaken up because it was someone I know, and if things were just slightly different it could have been me. I put my dreams of diving on hold this summer in order to spend more time with my grandmother who needed me, but what if I hadn't? What if I had been part of that class she was in on the weekend? I could very well have been if I had stayed at the scuba shop. In the end I think I'm just still stunned that this is actually happening...is she really gone?? :'-(
I think it's safe to say I won't be diving again anytime soon; I know all I will think about while under the water will be her....

And the anger just stems from the fact that it was all such a horrible and preventable accident. She was in a diving area properly marked off so that boaters knew to keep their distance. There seems to be some conflict as to whether the boater ignored the buoys, didn't know what they meant (there's a special flag), or didn't see them because it was a windy day on the lake and the waves were quite high (aka: whitecaps). It's assumed that the boater didn't even know s/he did it because no one stopped.

So after a good cry on the way home from work I'm left to decide what to do with myself for the night. Part of me says put a movie on and just get lost in it and try to forget for at least a few hours. Another part of me says it's much healthy to do a bit of yoga and a bike ride....burn off that angst in a positive manner. And still another part of me says it would be wise to go to a meeting. I think I'll do a bit of yoga, a bit of the bike riding and then toss a movie on the dvd player.
The funeral is tomorrow at 2pm and I will be joined by my classmates, my teacher and those I worked with at the diving shop.

(thanks for listening, everyone...I realize you didn't know her and all...)

 
Despite a beautiful and sunny day here in Toronto I am feeling all kinds of blah. I think it has something to do with my parents....you know, the ones that are less than thrilled with the announcement that I am going to Israel. The reaction has been marginally better than last year's, but not by much. I'm not going to air my family's dirty laundry on my blog, just know that I'm bummed that I get no support or encouragement from my family. The weeks between now and the time I leave will be tension filled and often times silent where there once would have been conversation. What can I say? .... if the trip were to somewhere (ANYwhere) else they would be excited for me.

In an effort to not let the parental situation get to me I decided to muster the motivation to clean my apartment. Finally. I don't know why it seems so insurmountable to me everytime, but it's intensely difficult to bring myself around to doing chores. That's not to say my house is a complete pigpen...I do dishes everyday, for example (you only make THAT mistake once, peee-yew!). It's the floors, always the floors. Sweeping, mopping and vacuuming seems to be my least favourite thing on the planet to do. Maybe I'm just lazy...this is a possibility I have been debating heavily. Too bad, coz nothing puts me in a fine mood quite like a sparkling clean home!

So! I cleaned my apartment. And then I watched a movie called Spun, which served as a wonderful reminder of why drugs are bad. After that I felt myself sliding into the blah stage again so I decided to go for a bike ride. After a lovely bike ride through the neighbourhood I have showered and am settling in for the evening. This has felt like a long weekend which is good, I guess.

Oh, and btw....do NOT see the movie The Clearing unless you actually enjoy long, slow and painful torture. I don't know how they didn't get bored just filming the damn thing. I'd write a more scathing, angry review but I just don't care enough about it to even bother. Hell, I'd probably fall asleep just describing it to you. "So there's this guy named Wayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......."

 
I'd really like to know what these people tell themselves to make it ok in their heads to do stuff like this: more graves were desecrated and a chapel burned in a Jewish cemetery in New Zealand. Just look at these pictures and tell me it doesn't turn your stomach. Tell me, you anti-semitic bastards....are you so weak and so cowardly that you must go after the dead who can no longer fight back?

 

 
In case you hadn't heard, Bill Clinton was in Toronto today. Crazed fans camped out since yesterday afternoon in order to secure a place in line for the book signing. It's all over the news here and I even know some people who headed down to get their books signed. Crazy stuff, man. And can I admit? I don't know what it is, but I like Clinton. I don't know why, I just do. *shrug*

oh, and did you hear? I'm going to Israel! :-P

 
At my office we get a lot of solicitors coming in trying to sell us anything from deals on spa packages to subscriptions to magazines. So I thought nothing of it when I heard my co-worker at the door talking to someone who was clearly about to try and sell him something, as he started his speech with "Hello my name is...". At first I disregarded it and continued on with my work until I heard the young man say he was selling his paintings and that he was an art student from Israel. Of course my ears perked right up and I had to go out and investigate.

My co-worked was just about to toss him out like all the other solicitors until he saw me come out and he said "you can deal with him" and walked away. First I asked where in Israel he was from, to which he replied he was from Jerusalem and was excited that I was showing an actual interest, not the pretend kind I'm sure he gets from most people he tries to peddle to. He showed me some of his and the work of the other students he had travelled with and when he finished that we talked about Israel for a bit, of course. I mentioned that I was going at the end of the month, which was why I couldn't possibly afford his paintings (which was true, I quite liked 2 of them and likely would have bought at least one). We talked about Israel some more, including (of course) politics and life there. His English was really very good (he humoured me as I mumbled a few words of Hebrew at the end), and I could see why he was the one sent out to talk to people. He was a very sweet guy and I wished him all the best; apparently he and his fellow students will be having an art show at the end of month somewhere in downtown Toronto to try and sell their work and promote their school (how much do I suck that I don't remember his name or the name of the school?? I think it was Bezalel). I told him to get in touch with me when the details of the show are firmed up and I would help get the word out (so if you're reading this "nice-Israeli-guy-whose-name-I-don't-know" write to me when you get the details!!). *sigh* I have such a soft spot for Israelis, what can I say? And I'm also an Israeli magnet, I swear to god. If there is an Israeli within 50 feet of me, I will be able to locate him/her. It's a gift, it's a curse.

So I have my ticket details worked out for my trip after talking to my agent numerous times on the phone. Seems I'm going to have a rather long layover in Newark on my way home. Ugh. So after spending something like 11 hours flying I'm going to have to find some way to amuse myself in Newark for FIVE hours. I have decided that K-Dogg should borrow someone's car and come down to visit me and keep me entertained. :-D Come on, you know you want to!!! (help me out here, si)

Details are being worked out for a big blogger get together in Israel (looks like there might be somewhere between 10 - 20 bloggers!), though there seems to be some disagreement over the date. If it gets changed I'm screwed and I won't be able to join. Words cannot describe how very disappointed I would be, but it's hardly fair for them all to move the time for just one person so I'm just quietly hoping this goes in my favour. *fingers crossed* If you are interested in joining us, there is a Yahoo Group that has been set up for the occasion, click here. It's moderated so you'll have to fill out a quick form to let them know who you are (just give them your blog address). We can never be too safe. :-) And that means YOU, Civax and Gil (Ben Mori)....go sign up and get in the loop. And vote for the date to be Sept 2nd so I can go!!

At the risk of boring anyone who isn't Jewish/Israeli, does anyone have any suggestions as to what sites I should see when I'm in Israel! Help me plan all the fun!! And why the hell has the US suddenly issued a travel warning to it's citizens about travelling to Israel?? Tsk.

 
Well, now that I am full "Israel trip planning" mode, I am starting to get pretty excited. I may only be going for a week, but it is going to be packed with fun. *grin* I talked to my travel agent today and gave her the green light to book the flight, and I am starting to plan out all the things I need to do in the next three weeks before I go (which of course involves a little shopping and listening to more Hebrew lessons in the car on the way to and from work. lol!). Also, a big blogger get together is in the works and I will have the honour of meeting some of my favourite bloggers. This means a lot to me and just adds icing to this cake.

Meantime I am struggling to fight off yet another friggin' cold. Why is it I am always getting sick?? Now is SO not the time to get sick; I was sick the last time I flew to Israel and let me tell ya, it's no picnic doing a plane landing with a sinus infection. I thought I knew what pain was, but the pressure and pain in my ears redefined my definition of pain. I was nearly deaf for many hours after that. So I am taking all measures I can think of to take care of myself and to combat this cold creeping in...eating well, taking it easy and taking vitamins. *fingers crossed*

So did any of you bother to read my post about my trip or did we all get caught up in my Israel news? That's alright, but I still recommend you check out the gorgeous pictures, such as this. I ask you, have you ever seen a greener place in the world??

 
Last night a friend and I decided to do a movie double-header at the theatre, so we saw the films "Troy" and "Control Room" back to back. The movie "Control Room" is a documentary about the Arab news channel known as Al Jazeera. It's a controversial channel for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which it is recommend for being extremely biased against Americans and Jews. Al Jazeera is also known for posting extremely gruesome pictures of dead American soldiers and Iraqi citizens during the ongoing war on Iraq. Many are upset because they feel Al Jazeera incites hate against Jews and the Western world, and I would have to agree to some extent. But it does have to cater to it's audience of 40 MILLION Arabs, so of course it is going to show Arabs in a favourable light and "infidels" in an unfavourable manner.

The film was very good, however, at presenting their side of things in an insightful manner. Much like the Michael Moore controversy which illustrates one extreme view against another, I feel this movie does a good job of contrasting pro-American news networks (like CNN and Fox News) against their own admittedly biased news for Arabs. And like the Michael Moore controversy, I think the truth is somewhere in between the two opinions.
Did I agree with the views of Al Jazeera and the way they present their news? No, but I am admittedly biased. And I do believe they have as much right to present the news as anyone else, though I fear it will indeed incite hate.

This brings me to my next concern...the fact that Al Jazeera will soon be see here in Canada on some stations. Anti-semitism has been on the rise here just as everywhere else in the world (note the extra security at the upcoming Olympics for the Israelis, the murder of Israeli athletes still fresh in their minds), and yes I think it will fuel this problem. As shown in the movie, Arabs are often quick to blame Israel for most problems in the Middle East, *including* the war in Iraq (I'd love to have them explain that one to me, coz I just don't understand the rationale). It's no secret that Arabs as a whole don't care much for Jews, and often use them as a scapegoat for the problems in the Middle East. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what effect Al Jazeera will have on the Arab population in Canada....

 
The rumours are true....I will be going to Israel sometime in the very near future. I have been blessed enough to have people in my life who are kind enough to help me see my way to the place I defend so fiercely in my heart and on my blog. To those I refer to, you know who you are and you know I am forever indebted. I will never be able to thank you enough for your generosity.

I have been holding off on mentioning my trip thus far because I had not yet told my parents; it seemed more respectful to tell them first than to tell everyone else. My parents took the news far better than last year (on my first trip), but I think they are still terrified. However if it is one thing they *did* learn from my trip last year it's that I will not be deterred by anything they can say; perhaps that's why they resolved to say nothing. This is something they may as well get used to; this isn't my first trip there and it won't be my last.

I am very excited about this trip and hope to make more of an adventure of it than the last time, despite the fact that the time I will spend there will be half of what it was the first time (I will have only a week in Israel). But anyone can tell you, it's about quality, not quantity. I also hope to see some of my favourite Israeli bloggers while I am there; these are people I have looked up to and was inspired by to start my own blog. Due to time constraints I am hoping to see most of them at once, for I will be unable to see them one at a time. We shall see.

Meantime I must make plans and try to find sleep in my excitement. :-) I'm going to Israel!!!!
Woo hoo!!

 
When I got back from my trip and was finally able to catch up on news I was quite angry to hear that the American and Israeli embassies were attacked in Uzbekistan. This is not the first time that Israeli embassies have been targeted, unfortunately it's a favourite for terrorists who can't quite reach Israel proper. And I am sure Americans are becoming quite used to being the target of hate now too. Fun isn't it? Welcome to the club.

 
Let me preface this post by saying I will do my best to not turn this into a post in which I drone on about my vacation; I don't wish to bore you to tears. In fact, feel free to skip this post, I won't be offended. But for those who stick around I will try to weave my stories into an engaging (if not amusing) tale complete with pictures. If you wish to just skip right to the pictures without the story, you can go to my photoblog for the pics. Meanwhile, on with my mini-vacation recap.....

The trip didn't start out particularly well. I had alloted about 4.5 hours to get up there in time to have lunch with my parents and grandma before tagging off with the parents, sending them home and me staying. It was my grandma's birthday, so it was somewhat important that I aim to be on time (I had the presents and cake too). I had arrived in the general area with plenty of time to spare, but once I got off the highway and began driving the backwood roads, things went awry quickly. Let's just say I got lost for about 40 minutes or so. And not only did I get lost, I took my Honda Civic on dirt, sand, mud and gravel roads clearly not intended for such a vehicle. I nearly got stuck several times and very nicely scraped the undercarriage of my car on a huge rock (I can't believe there wasn't an oil trail marking where I had been). After having a meltdown that only a girl can really have (complete with angry tears of frustration) I gathered myself up, found my bearings and eventually located the cabin. My mood was quite sour by the time I found my family (despite being 15 mins early!) and I told everyone I didn't want to even talk about it. lol. Eventually a hot meal and cake for dessert lifted my spirits and I was able to recount the story of how I was ridiculously lost on my way there (we all laughed til we cried...in retrospect it *was* pretty funny ).

Before my parents could leave my grandma insisted we all go fishing together (a first for all 4 of us to be in the boat) and so we did. We caught nothing, but it didn't matter. After that my mom was giving me the lowdown on things I should know (where to get supplies and pay for the cabin) including the hijinx they had experienced the night before. Seems that my father had put the garbage out on the screened-in porch and then a group of raccoons had ripped through the screen door and let themselves in. My parents didn't get much sleep as the raccoons spent the better part of the night screaming and fighting over the garbage just outside the bedroom door, and really there's no way to get a group of giant raccoons to leave a room if they don't want to. They are the size of small dogs, and not overly afraid of humans. When my dad tried to scare them away, they just looked at him and blinked. Anyway, the screen in the door which they tore through had been replaced by a wooden board which would be hopefully keep them out. With a hug and nod of good luck from my parents we had traded places, and now it was my turn to spend time with grandma.

Overall, I had a great time with my grandma. We got on each other's nerves a little bit here and there, but that's to be expected when you're in a cabin in the woods with someone day in and day out with no form of entertainment other than reading, fishing and playing cards. Things might not have been so difficult if I could say I got a decent night's sleep at any point, but I didn't. The beds were terrible (there were 4 and the mattresses were brutal in all of them, I shopped them like Goldilocks) and of course there was the small matter of the raccoons returning every night. There was a mother and 4 babies that made it their personal mission to get into my porch since they had scored so well when my parents were there. Here is the picture of two of the babies as they climbed up the side of the door to try to get to the screen at the top (since the board was keeping them out at the bottom). At first I found them cute and charming, as they made sounds that were like a combination of chirping and purring. They talked away to each other as they plotted to find a way into my porch. They weren't afraid of me, and in fact I'd say they were pretty curious (as was I). They sniffed my hand through the screen and I tried to negotiate with them to get down and leave. After two nights of this I was reduced to yelling, banging and hissing at them to get them to leave. I am not the kind of person who functions well on lack of sleep, and after 4 hours of them waking me up I was becoming rather unimpressed with their antics.

All in all, it was a good time. We went fishing, we played lots of cards, read our books and had lots of nice calm quiet time. No phones, no computers (ok, that might not have been my favourite part) and no traffic. Just lots of big beautiful green trees, wonderful lakes and rivers, and all sorts of animals. *sigh* I love my country, what can I tell ya? And even though I grew up in areas just like this one I visited, I am still in awe of it's beauty. I think it's important to see the beauty of the places right in your own backyard...sometimes it's all too easy to get used to it just because you see it everyday. And sometimes it's too easy to take those you love for granted, so it's important to take the time to show them you care. I was lucky enough to get to enjoy both the place I call home AND the people I love most.

 
Well I'm back. I will upload pictures and share tales for those who are interested, but it will have to wait until tomorrow; I'm too tired today. But let me say this, the first thing I did when I got back into town was head out to the movie theatre to see the movie I have been dying to see for a year now, "The Village". Here's what I actually said to my friend as the credits rolled up: "I think I'm going to have to hunt that man down (the director) and kill him. And then I'm gonna revive him... bring him back to life ...so I can kill him again. And I might have to do that many times". It's safe to say I didn't like the movie. I'd get into more detail but to do so would ruin it for anyone who plans on seeing it, and I'd hate to spoil the joy. Maybe it's my fault for having high expectations, I just don't know. But if I ever happen to meet M. Night Shyamalan I will grab him and shake him violently until my $13 falls from his pockets. Sadly, I cannot regain those 2 hours I lost to the viewing. If anyone else was lucky enough to see this gem, do feel free to share your views with the rest of us. One good thing about the movie? Bryce Dallas Howard is a wonderful actress who should have been onscreen long ago (which shouldn't have been difficult since her dad is Ron Howard, and she looks just like him!). She was fantastic and I look forward to seeing future projects from her.

 
Well, it's bright and early and I am hitting the road; I have a 4.5 hour drive ahead of me, so I'm trying to get an early start. I wouldn't want to be late for grandma's birthday meal!

I am trying to relax about the prospect of being away from a computer for a whole 2 -3 days (I'll be back Saturday night, maybe Sunday morning). Seems ridiculous, I know, but I fear being away from the news mostly. This morning when I got up I checked the news online (as I do *every* morning) and had a bit of a scare as I saw "suicide bomber" as the breaking news headline on CNN.com and thought something had happened in Israel. I was relieved to see it was in Iraq, and then felt horrible for thinking that. It's a tragedy no matter where it is and I should never feel like it's better them than Israel. My prayers are with the Iraqis on this difficult day.

As for me, I must go off and celebrate life; not everyone reaches their 84th birthday, but my grandma is a tough cookie and she deserves a big celebration! She has outlived all her siblings (younger and older), a spouse, 2 of her own daughters and countless friends and family members. And after all that she is not bitter but instead grateful to be alive and able to fish! *grin* And so am I!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA!!!

 
I have one of those special moods going, right now. The kind that makes you wanna tell the entire world to just fuck off and leave you alone. I'm not sure what spawned this craptacular mood, but I'm going to hazard a guess and say it was work. I got myself all stressed out over a project I was working on and then got annoyed when people kept calling me, e-mailing me, messaging me, or just generally distracting me from accomplishing my goal. I guess that's what I get for putting it off until the last minute, so I have no one to blame but myself. Perhaps I should be telling myself to fuck off for being a complacent and procrastinating idiot. Instead I settled for bouts of road rage in which I yelled and gave the finger at every given opportunity, on the way home from work.

I do feel somewhat calmer now that I have baked a cake. How very June Cleaver of me; hey maybe she had something there, ya know? Bake a cake = feel calmer. I made it for my grandma, it's her 84th birthday tomorrow. I also get to take a mini vacation for the rest of the week (and not a minute too soon, obviously). Right now grandma is happy as a clam up in a cabin in the northern woods of Ontario with my parents where they have been fishing since Saturday. I will be making the journey up tomorrow morning to join them, have lunch, eat some cake and open presents, and then tag off. My parents are heading back home and then I am stepping in to spend the rest of the week fishing with grandma (truth be told, we all agreed that though we love grandma dearly neither of us could go a whole week with her in a cabin, with no tv, without strangling her. shh!). It should be a very interesting little getaway indeed. Lots of fishing, lots of card playing and lots of picture taking.

Meanwhile I'm having M&M's and Cream Soda for dinner because that's what I damn well feel like, and then I'm gonna do some packing. If you guys were hoping for something a little more entertaining, may I suggest you go read this; it's one of the funniest things I have ever read. I literally laughed until I wept like a donkey. HIL-arious! (link via Meryl)

 
Allow me let you in on a little tidbit about me; I am a nature freak and an animal lover. Bigtime. I have had all kinds of pets from spiders to salamanders to sugar gliders and I have a hard time killing anything living. If I find a spider in my house I will leave it alone even if it's crawling across my keyboard. At worst I will pick him up (no I'm not afraid to pick these things up with my bare hands!) and escort him outside. There are a few exceptions, and they mainly involve insects who insist on getting in my space (ie: flies and mosquitoes, but bees are captured and released outside). I cannot STAND a fly near my food, and I certainly won't tolerate a bug sucking my blood. Other than that, I have the patience of a saint for most living things. Don't bother me and I won't bother you.

Now then, keeping that in mind...imagine me as I was driving down a nice quiet road in my neighbourhood this morning, on my way to work. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping...it was a beautiful start to the week. As I was driving along I noticed a couple of birds up ahead, hopping around on the road, hunting for crumbs (gee, where could this be going?). As I got closer I noticed it's beautiful pair of gold finches, a male and female (the male is a bright yellow).  As I got even closer I thought to myself...no problem, they'll move out of the way. Birds always do. And sure enough...the female flew up onto the grass. The male did not. I quickly tried to position my car so that if he managed to stay still he would be fine because he would be away from the tires. I heard myself gasp as I passed over him and then my eyes darted up to my rearview mirror to look back.. Much to my horror I saw a little birdie body in the road with a wing sticking up. I was mortified. I slammed on the brakes and turned around to go back; I was going to save him or kill him, if that was the humane thing to do (I wasn't sure yet just how I would bring myself to do that). As I doubled back I found.....nothing. He was gone. It seems he might have hit the bottom of my car when flying up and was maybe just stunned for a moment? I can only assume, since he wasn't there. I was relieved.

But the story doesn't stop there! I continued my drive into work and 30 mins later I was taking the exit off the highway when I noticed something dead ahead on the road. Having the uncanny ability that I do to identify mashed animals on the flyby, I noted it was a duck and thought it was the damnedest thing; what's WITH these birds suddenly being so stupid??  I waited at the lights on the off-ramp to turn onto the street near my workplace and continue on. The light turned green and as I made the turn I noticed ....yes, that's right, a duck sitting at the side of the road. There was a feather sticking up, perhaps a fractured wing, and it's head was up as it sat there facing the wall (it was on a bridge/overpass. not exactly somewhere I can pull over and stop). What? did the whole flock decide to play in traffic or something??

I continued on to work (I was less than 5 mins away at this point) all the while feeling terrible for the duck. Was it still alive? Could I be sure? Am I in the Twilight Zone???  Am I suddenly a magnet for wounded birds?? WTF??
Once I was at work I started feeling guilty about the damn duck. No one was gonna save him, and he was going to die a slow terrible death while people just drove by. Finally I made up an excuse to leave the office...and yes...I went out to look for the damned duck. LOL. I'm a sucker, what can I say? Always a bleeding heart..

So off I went back up the road. And guess what I found? That's right...NOTHING. Ah, I get it now...I'm not in the Twilight Zone at all...I'm on Candid Camera and somebody MUST be fucking with me this morning. *sigh*

Now you may be asking yourself....just what was I planning on doing with the duck if I found him? Well, it should come as no surprise after hearing this story that I know of a wildlife rescue place where you can drop off wounded animals. I am of course familiar with this place after a previous time in which I chased a seagull with a broken wing out into traffic in order to scoop him up and take him there. The chase actually started in a parking lot where there weren't cars zipping by at high speeds, but the little bugger ran away from me and out onto the road. Finally I tossed my jacket over him and nabbed him  and took him to the rescue place. Unfortunately his wing was beyond repair and they had to put him down. But hey! I tried. And I'll keep on trying. :-)

In a completely unrelated note,  go check out my photoblog, Dreaming In Blue; I put some new pics up. This one is particularly cute.

 
What is it about us that we seek out others with whom we can speak with and know we've not only been heard, but understood? Some would argue that that's what friendships are all about, but that's not always the case. I think most of us have different friends for different needs. With some you just want to forget the day's events and clear your mind and have a laugh; talking about serious stuff may never happen. Others may be there strictly for the purpose of unloading all that's on your mind and allowing them to do the same. But many 12 step programs, like Alcoholics Anonymous for instance, rely on the fact that a room full of people can get together, share what's going in their lives, and always be heard and understood by most everyone in the room (and most importantly not feel judged). These groups of people get together because there are common elements and characteristics they share, and they feel comfortable sharing with each other for that reason. In all likeliness at least one person in the room will say afterwards, "I know exactly how you feel!".

On Friday night I talked with an old highschool friend of mine with whom I have re-connected with in the last few years, and we talked about the pain of letting go of close friendships. We discussed how the dissolution of a close friendship can be every bit as painful as a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I was SO relieved to find out that she had as much trouble letting go of a friendship as I seem to be having. Although I found it mildly disheartening to hear it took her many, MANY years, I was extremely relieved to hear that I wasn't the only one taking a long time to get over a similar hurt. I went from feeling completely abnormal and not talking to anyone about how healing this wound is taking longer than I would have liked, to sharing every painful bit and having my friend impart her experiences with me. I felt SO good after we talked and wished I had struck up the conversation with her long ago. Better late than never, I suppose. Thanks for sharing and listening, buddy! You're the best!!

Meanwhile you will find that every so often someone will walk into your life and totally shake things up. This person will challenge your comfort zone and sometimes stir things in you that you either thought were long gone or maybe never even existed to begin with. It's defining moments like that in which you will be dared to take a chance or maybe challenged to make some changes in your life. Maybe both. But make no mistake, these people cross your path for a reason and if you fail to seize the moment and the opportunity you may well regret it for years to come.

Boy, I just woke up from a two hour nap and now I'm spouting all kinds of pretentious psychobabble! Maybe I ought to quite while I'm ahead, hm? :-) Hope y'all had a great weekend.

 
I tried out a new "emotional cocktail" today to see what it was like. Here's the recipe if you'd like to try:

1 part excitement
2 parts anticipation
2 parts fear
4 parts anxiety
_______________________

And while this concoction won't actually kill you, it MAY give you what feels a lot like a heart attack and a range of other exciting feelings, from crying all the way to extreme nausea (yup, I went right into the dry heaves, baby!!). I'm not sure I want to be like that ever again, but I suspect it might be out of my control. Give me a week or so, and I'll stop speaking so cryptically and just tell you what's going on.

Meanwhile I decided the best way to handle myself while like that today was to do a mass re-organization of my office, specifically my dump of a filing cabinet. It was very rewarding and had the added bonus of making me look busy. It only killed a few hours though, and the last two hours of work were sheer torture. I just love those days when time seems to CRAWL as if to punish you, don't you?. Maybe it was because it's Friday, I dunno.

So now I'm gonna get together with a friend of mine to rent a bunch of movies and eat junkfood all night. She just broke up with her boyfriend, so I'm gonna do what every good girlfriend does, and I'm gonna help her pig out to get over it. :-) What are friends for?? And hey...maybe it'll help me unwind too.
Shabat shalom!

 
Ok, raise your hands if you remember the 80's family sitcom "Growing Pains" which featured the Seaver family. It starred Alan Thicke, Joanna Kerns (where oh where is she now?), Tracy Gold, Kirk Cameron and eventually a young Leonardo DiCaprio (here's the IMDb site for the show). Ok, now I want you to specifically recall teen heartthrob Kirk Cameron, seen in the pic on the right (along with that young Leo).

Now then, I'm not sure how many of you know whatever became of him, but he recently came up in a conversation with a group of my friends (I believe we were watching an old episode of the show). Someone suggested he had become a super-Christian and was now making his livelihood by spreading "The Word of God". We all seemed somewhat surprised, and then the conversation ended there.

Well, as it turns out he surely is, as I just found him on the local Christian channel about half an hour ago. I was locked into an interview with him and couldn't take my eyes off. More importantly I was *stunned* as he preached that folks like me were going to go to hell because we hadn't opened our hearts to Christ. Now, I'm not one to get offended by this kind of thing....I believe in a 'live and let live' sort of mentality. To each his own, and if that's what makes you happy then I am happy for you. But man alive, the guy was on the show to promote a video he is selling, and his website called "The Way Of The Master". His video actually teaches people how to go out into the streets to approach others in order to preach Christianity (to quote: "The Foundation Course is Step #1 towards leading your loved ones to the Lord. It will teach you how to overcome your fears and show you how to circumnavigate a person's intellect" YIKES!!). He shows ways to talk to people and how to get them to listen to what you have to say about God . And ya know what? I find that damn creepy. I have no problems with Christianity or any other religion, but I don't like when people get in my face to sell me their brand of God. If I want to know, I will search it out. Go ahead, click on Kirk's site and you'll see that the tour starts with him asking if you are a Christian or not. I was brave enough to say I wasn't.

Anyway, I'm not here to bash Kirk or Christianity. In fact, I often watch people like him on tv and kinda envy their extreme faith. My faith, to say the least, is not that strong. However, I don't appreciate his brand of preaching....it's designed to strike fear in your heart (according to him I am going *straight* to hell) and that's hardly a way to win a person over to your religion. On his site he actually says: "Does the fact that you have sinned against God scare you? It should." No, Kirk. YOU scare me.

Let's take an example of a Christian whose program I secretly love to watch (oy, I shudder to think of the reactions I'll get for admitting that). From time to time when flipping through the channels I happen upon Joyce Meyer on the Christian channel. And I don't know what it is about this charismatic woman, but I love to listen to her preach. Why? Because first of all, she doesn't shove her idea of God in your face. She is damn funny, and tells a wonderful story. Her stories are examples of things in life that anyone can identify with, and then at the end she gently ties it back to the Bible, and sights specific examples. Oh, and did I mention? She's hilarious. She tells it like it is with a sharp wit and no nonsense approach. I like her and her style, and she doesn't make me feel uncomfortable and she doesn't threaten me with hell to get me to listen. Now if only she could talk about the Torah for a while, I'd SO be there. *wink*

And another positive word for my Christian friends; there was another time when flipping past this same channel that I stopped to listen to a pair of evangelists discussing Israel. They were promoting tourism and telling Christians to not be afraid of what they see on the news, for it is often overblown. They were telling Christians that Israel needs their support now more than ever, which couldn't be more true. So to those evangelists, I say thank you. Thanks for helping promote Israeli tourism by getting the word out. :-)

Who knows....I may already be in hell. The temperatures here in Toronto were a sweltering 41C (that's 105.8F) with humidity at 70%. (hey, if I wanted it this hot, I'd live in Israel, damnit!!) I can't even begin to describe how nasty that feels...like a big ole wall of sweat when you walk out the door. You're moist as soon as you make contact with the air, and the air is THICK making it murder to try and breath. Blecch. I'm so happy the temperatures are dropping over the next few days.... now if only we could send all this rain to those who need it.

UPDATE: I have checked into Joanna Kerns (mom Seaver) to see where she is now, and as it turns out she will be directing the tv return of Growing Pains (cleverly named "Growing Pains II: Home Equity")!! Seems the cast is coming back and filming began this spring (it looks like it's a tv movie). Perhaps we will see the Seaver family again this fall! The plot outline reads: "The Seaver parents try to sell their house to retire but Mike and his sister Carol try to block the sale. However, Ben needs the sale with his job now as a real estate agent. Chrissy just wants her parents to move so she can become a singer.". Eek! I can hardly wait.

 
Ill tell ya something...I am a girl who is in one FOUL friggin' mood today. Let it be known, and may I advise all to steer clear. I think it all started with me waking up after a rather extended dream about an old friend. It angered me, saddened me and worried me. Seems anger was the emotion that stuck with me though.  Then I had a mild confrontation with a pedestrian while driving to work in which we both flipped each other the bird. While I drove into work I tried to change my mood...breathe deeply and count to ten....listen to happy music and bop along....let go of the anger and frustration. But I must say, that crap just never works for me. lol. My number one worst personal flaw is my inability to let go of something that is eating me up inside. I wish I could, but I have no idea how. I've tried *many* different ideas with little to no success. Years after an incident I can still stew about things, and it's simply not healthy. And just because I know that doesn't mean I can help it. Anyway, then I came into work and the mood is as tension filled as ever. Will our company shut down? Won't it? Ugh, the meeting this morning did nothing to improve my mood. I did finally post a new entry into my dream blog which has somewhat elevated my mood, but I'm really counting on dinner tonight in Princess Blondie's new home to help me forget the day's bullshit. I hope that some dinner with good friends and a few good laughs will help me to relax. Oh, and my back is feeling much better today. Thanks to those who sent me well wishes. :-)

Before I go can I just vent on one last thing that is chapping my ass today? IGNORANCE is pissing me off, and I am tired of Israel having to defend itself against it while trying to defend itself everyday against enemies who would like to see its demise. The news is filled with reports about how Israel is not complying with an order to dismantle their security fence. You know...the fence they are building to stop terrorists from waltzing in to blow themselves up amongst as many Jews as possible. I would like to once again remind everyone that Israel is not the only one to have built such a fence... I have included a picture (thanks to Honest Reporting) that shows other fences in the world that were built for the very same reasons. Come on people, why is Israel being held to a different standard than those other countries? Why were they not dragged into a world court to explain why they are building a fence to defend themselves? (and again, the REASON was never discussed in court, only the results as they pertained to the Palestinians. terrorism was not discussed).
I'm sick and tired of it. GRRR!!!!!

 
I don't think I need to go on another rant about Israel do I? New Zealand is pissed off at Israel. France is pissed off at Israel. Lebanon is pissed off at Israel. Palestinians are pissed off at Israel and each other. It's a mess over there. If you are interested in what's going on I once again urge you to check out Israellycool, Meryl Yourish, Boker Tov, Boulder!, or any of the other fine blogs in my blogroll that discuss Israeli topics (though I suspect if you are interested in Israel you are likely already reading those blogs anyway).

Meanwhile, I have my own grief. In a spectacular move this morning I have managed to put my back out, rendering it difficult to do much at all now. It started with an innocent morning stretch while at my computer reading news and checking my e-mail. Before I knew it I felt a stabbing twinge down the left side of my back and I soon found myself flat on my back on the floor in an effort to stop the spasming muscle. I have a lot of health problems that come and go, but this was a new one for me. Soon I found that I wasn't much able to get up off the floor because everytime I made a move I was gripped by pain. Part of me was laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, part of me was in a mild panic. So I did what many would do...I called my mom. It was not easy to get my phone, requiring a little crawling in order to accomplish the task, and after succeeding I reverted to laying flat on my back. I called my mom at home...no answer. I called her cellphone.....she answered.

"Where are you?" I asked
"I just left my house. What's wrong?" she knows I don't call at 7:30am unless something is amiss.
"Oh mommy.. ..I've hurt my back and I can't get off the floor" (spoken in the most pathetic tone imaginable in order to gain maximum sympathy)
"Do you want me to come over?" (she knows I never call her mommy, unless I want or need something. otherwise I call her by her first name. don't ask.)

Anyway, she came over and got me off the floor and into my lounge chair, rubbed my back, put an ice pack on it and gave me some Robaxacet.
FUN, hunh?? After that I napped for another hour (muscle relaxers have a funny way of doing that to a person) and then eventually I dragged myself into work, 3 hours late. Now I'm wishing I had just stayed home coz it hurts.
*whinewhinewhine*

Speaking of whiners, seems I'm not the only one trying to find my place in the world. Looks like my generation is facing the age old question of "is this it??". Check out the article here. Seems Generation X is still trying to figure out to be when they grow up.

 
I have been putting off mentioning all the crazy stuff going on in Israel I guess because I figure if you are interested in Israel you would already know about it, and if you aren't you probably wouldn't be all that interested in hearing about it. Perhaps that's a bit complacent of me, but I just haven't the strength or energy to write about all the news in great detail.

Things are crazy chaotic right now for a variety of reasons. First, a pair of Israelis were caught buying forged passports in New Zealand. NZ is assuming they are Israeli spies and is pretty pissed off about the whole thing. They have suspended ties with Israel and are putting sanctions in place. This has caused a rise in anti-semitism in NZ and some idiots decided to go ahead and express their displeasure by desecrating a Jewish cemetery while still others vandalized a synagogue in Australia with such choice phrases as "Hitler was right". So as it stands, relations between Israel and New Zealand are tense, at best.

Meanwhile, the Palestinians have been very busy kidnapping the Palestinian police chief and then some French tourists (believing this would draw postive attention from Europe to their plight, if you can believe). They have also taken to burning down the police headquarters to protest the new police chief (the condition of releasing the kidnapped police chief was that he would be fired and replaced. Arafat and agreed and replaced the chief with his cousin. this pissed off the Palestinians, and rightfully so).

Anyway, I am merely scratching the surface and glossing over details. What all this boils down to is a growing crisis in Gaza as great unrest is increasing and Arafat is losing his grip on power. For more insight to all this I suggest you read Meryl's posts here and here, she always breaks it down very well. For a simpler view on it I highly recommend HebrewLion's take on the matter, he sums it up wonderfully. And as always Dave over at Israellycool has info on both the NZ incident and the chaos going on in Gaza. To be honest, I'm almost afraid to toss my two cents worth in on this because this kind of uprising, rioting and kidnapping is never good, even if it's the Palestinians doing it to each other. It still causes instability throughout the region, and that's never good for Israel. Many are figuring this is the beginning of the end for Arafat, and while that in itself would be a good thing, the internal fight for power is not. Not for the Palestinians and not for Israel. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens........