Sunday, July 25, 2004
great minds obsess alike
What is it about us that we seek out others with whom we can speak with and know we've not only been heard, but understood? Some would argue that that's what friendships are all about, but that's not always the case. I think most of us have different friends for different needs. With some you just want to forget the day's events and clear your mind and have a laugh; talking about serious stuff may never happen. Others may be there strictly for the purpose of unloading all that's on your mind and allowing them to do the same. But many 12 step programs, like Alcoholics Anonymous for instance, rely on the fact that a room full of people can get together, share what's going in their lives, and always be heard and understood by most everyone in the room (and most importantly not feel judged). These groups of people get together because there are common elements and characteristics they share, and they feel comfortable sharing with each other for that reason. In all likeliness at least one person in the room will say afterwards, "I know exactly how you feel!".

On Friday night I talked with an old highschool friend of mine with whom I have re-connected with in the last few years, and we talked about the pain of letting go of close friendships. We discussed how the dissolution of a close friendship can be every bit as painful as a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I was SO relieved to find out that she had as much trouble letting go of a friendship as I seem to be having. Although I found it mildly disheartening to hear it took her many, MANY years, I was extremely relieved to hear that I wasn't the only one taking a long time to get over a similar hurt. I went from feeling completely abnormal and not talking to anyone about how healing this wound is taking longer than I would have liked, to sharing every painful bit and having my friend impart her experiences with me. I felt SO good after we talked and wished I had struck up the conversation with her long ago. Better late than never, I suppose. Thanks for sharing and listening, buddy! You're the best!!

Meanwhile you will find that every so often someone will walk into your life and totally shake things up. This person will challenge your comfort zone and sometimes stir things in you that you either thought were long gone or maybe never even existed to begin with. It's defining moments like that in which you will be dared to take a chance or maybe challenged to make some changes in your life. Maybe both. But make no mistake, these people cross your path for a reason and if you fail to seize the moment and the opportunity you may well regret it for years to come.

Boy, I just woke up from a two hour nap and now I'm spouting all kinds of pretentious psychobabble! Maybe I ought to quite while I'm ahead, hm? :-) Hope y'all had a great weekend.