1) I know I've been whining a lot about the weather, but I have to do it again because it's just UNREAL how bloody hot it is. This is Canada for pete's sake, what gives?? 43C/110F for the umpteenth day in a row is simply unacceptable. There are reports of a few heat related deaths over the weekend and this is really no surprise given the amount of smog that likes to linger over Toronto. I too found myself in a moment of panic yesterday as I was hiking across a mall parking lot at a good pace only to find that I couldn't breathe because the air was so thick (it had been raining in the morning so when the sun came out the air was thick as molasses). I panicked as I realized I didn't have my asthma inhaler on me because I never carry it with me (I so rarely use the damn thing) so I had to slow down a moment to catch my breath. Finally I got to my car, got in, and cranked the air conditioning for a bit while I sat and calmed down and took deep breaths. Note to self: get new inhaler from doctor before heading to Israel. How annoying... my asthma is so slight I never even think about it until I get into trouble.
2) I am starting to wake up in the middle of the night in a panic about money and my trip. Money money money.. I hate how much of my time is spent worrying about it. And while it's all well and fine to say that I shouldn't, I sort of need to if I am going to try and buy an airplane ticket this week. So I roll over in the middle of the night, wake a bit, and think.... omigod... did I book a ticket? can I afford to book one? will it get more expensive the longer I wait? It's ridiculous that THIS is what I am thinking about in the middle of the night. This morning as I was sitting in traffic I looked over at a sign at the gas station announcing that the lottery pot this week is at 12 million. *sigh* What I could do with 12 million.
3) Speaking of sleep, I had a dream about Corey last night. I wonder if I should call him again, before I go away. Part of me thinks that's the dumbest idea ever, and opening that old can of worms is a bad plan... but part of me feels inclined to because I am in a good place in my life right now (nightmares aside) and I just want to say hi... see how he's doing. He was popping up on local news a while back which made me think I should check up on him... but then I have Sam in my head telling to stay away. LOL. I dunno... maybe I'll leave that can of worms unopened. But come on.... could going out for one coffee be so bad? :-P
4) A really really sweet girl named Alex has bought a bracelet from me to support my trip, bringing the count up to 107 sold. Alex and I have been emailing back and forth since November when this bright idea first popped in my head, and she has been very supportive and encouraging since she has taken a very similar journey recently. It's really been amazing how many people have come out of the woodwork to say hi and to offer some words of advice or encouragement. Complete strangers have written me to say such nice things!!! Wow... even at this point the journey has taught me so much and enriched my life. Anyway! Bracelets go out today for those who have ordered them over the last few days.
5) Herbie: Fully Loaded wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and much to my surprise (I hope you're sitting down for this) I actually enjoyed being in a theatre full of kids when watching it. Anyone who knows me knows that I get deeply annoyed with chatter during movies, but this time it was so sweet and funny to listen to the kids cheer and jeer throughout the film. It was a nice reminder that these films are made for and enjoyed by kids. Actually, truth be told, it wasn't a bad flick... I laughed a bit here and there and had fun. However, Mean Girls is still the best Lindsay Lohan movie. I musta watched that at least 3 times on the plane ride over to Israel last year.
6) You want me to go to Israel, right? show me some lovin'..... buy a bracelet. All the cool kids are doin' it!!
Well, things don't always go according to plan, now do they?
Friday night, being the swinging single girl that I am, I spent most of the evening unconscious on my couch. What can I say? I was tired. I managed to wake up in time to drag my sorry ass to the store to pick up the new Harry Potter book when it was released at midnight. Then I dragged my ass back home, curled up in bed, and read for about 30 or 40 minutes before I required more sleep. I then woke up Saturday morning just before 8am, had some breakfast, read more Harry Potter.... and then proceeded to have a nap (are we noticing a pattern here? for some reason, reading makes me VERY sleepy, so staying awake past more than say, 20 pages, is a real feat for me. I don't know what the deal is, but it means that it takes me forever to finish a book, as you can well imagine).
When I awoke from my nap I decided that if I was going to get any reading done I had better move it to a location other than my bed. So I got up, pulled on some shorts and a tank top and lugged a chair outside. It was just me, the sun, a bottle of water, and Harry. Much to my chagrin it was a bit of an overcast day.... slightly sunny but oddly I felt the occasional raindrop.... every few minutes.... land on me. Strange weather, but still doable for tanning. About an hour into my reading (you are getting VERY sleepy...) my cell phone in my pocket rang (oh right, just me, the sun, a bottle of water, Harry and my cell. did I forget to mention my cell?). As I looked at my call display I saw that it was my bestest friend Princess Blondie. It would seem the girl had bitten off more than she could chew on a little "home improvement" project and needed my help to finish painting her bedroom by the end of the day. Always happy to help a friend in need, I hopped in my car and headed up to her place. And that was the end of Harry.
My evening was nice as I met with my favourite aunt and uncle for dinner which they were so kind as to pay for (yay! steak and lobster for me please!). Later on my parents were invited to join us for a coffee and dessert back at the hotel restaurant, which was also nice. What sucked was that out of everybody at the table... all over 50, except for moi.... *I* was the one who wanted to end the evening at 10pm so I could go to bed. Colour me embarrassed. I'm telling you, painting was exhausting!!
I figured today would be the day I would do my tanning since the plans were a washout yesterday. But when I got up at 7am to head out to sit with my meditation group for a few hours I soon found out that today is a very rainy day. *groan* No sun for this girl. And in case you thought rain had a way of cooling off raging hot temperature... well you'd be wrong. Now it's hotter than ever, FOGGY, and air that is thicker than ever. It's sticky and nasty and not at all sunny now that I want it to be. Weather Gods be damned!!!
Alright. I'm going to go read me some Harry Potter. And after that I think I am being dragged out to see Herbie: Fully Loaded. I must really love my friend a lot.
I'm stressing. Work is stressing me out. Thinking about money and my trip to Israel is stressing me out. My plan to combat this stress: go to the bookstore at midnight, buy the new Harry Potter book, and spend tomorrow basking in the sun reading and trying desperately to get some colour before I go to Israel so I don't fry in the Middle Eastern sun. Please oh please may I get a tan!!!
Ok, so..... I finally ..FINALLY got word about the financial aid for my trip. Yes, I will be getting some assistance, no it's not as much as I was hoping for (but really, is it ever? lol). This means I am several thousands short and I need to crack the whip on you guys to help me scrape the rest of the money together. In the last couple of days I have received a few more orders for bracelets which makes me SO happy. I even got an e-mail from someone in Spain asking how she could buy 3 bracelets. Given that I am not a speaker of Spanish I enlisted the help of my co-worker from Uruguay to help me write my reply, and presto! I got an order for three more bracelets! Hurray!!
This has been a wonderful fundraising adventure as I have sent bracelets to the USA, Australia, Holland, Spain and of course Israel. This worldwide support has been an eye opener for me and something I will never ever forget. My life is about to take a dramatic turn as I choose a new path, and you have all had a great deal to do with that. I am glad you will be able to follow me through my blog on my journey so you can see where your money is going. *wink*
I am very happy to report that my friend Tango has started a new blog which will, of course, be added to my blogroll. To recap, Tango had emailed me a month or two ago (along with several other Jewish bloggers) in an effort to get a survey filled out for a paper he was doing. And before you know it we had hit it off, became friends, emailed each other back and forth and he was kind enough to buy two of my bracelets to help me get to Israel (further proof that you don't need to be Jewish to buy these bracelets, folks!). Check out his latest blog entry where he demonstrates his Use #231 for my bracelets. Certainly better than Use # 132 and comparable to Laurence's use of it as a cat toy. Tango is hilarious.. pop over to his blog and say hi.
All in all this has been an emotional rollercoaster ride as I have struggled to make this trip happen. I waiver between excited and stressed pretty much hourly. Deborah over in the Livnot offices has been a rock for me while I switch between moods... "I can do this" one day, and then "I just can't afford to do this" the next. If not for Deborah's constant efforts and pep talks I no doubt would have given up at some point, which leads me to think this girl is in the right job and is right where she is meant to be. She, along with Gerald, Susie and Laurie, have been the most fantastic support system and have been instrumental in making this happen. I look forward to thanking you all in person in September....
As for my parents.... they are trying their best to put on a happy face despite the fact that I know they are terrified that I am going for so long. My mother is worried about my safety (that recent suicide bomber in Israel didn't help things at all, with her) and my father is convinced that I am going to fall in love with an Israeli boy and never come back. I have been spending HOURS putting together a separate blog for my parents and friends (since I prefer they stay off this one) and have been carefully loading it with links to information about Israel in an effort to help calm fears.
When the suicide bomber struck Israel the other day I was given an opportunity to take my mother through a dry run as to what she can do when she hears such news. I sat her down at the computer and got her to open the new blog I made and to begin taking the steps to get information. Click these Israeli news sites. Check the map to see where the incident took place. If you are worried I might be there check prior emails to see where I said I'd be in the coming days. If you haven't heard from me and aren't sure where I am you can call one of my friends over in Israel or call Livnot. Worst case scenario the news sites provide emergency numbers but that should be a last resort since I will be fine and you don't really need to panic. :-)
But I ask you... how surreal is it that I have to teach my mother such a thing before I go away on a trip? I have to actually train her on what steps to take when she hears news of a suicide bomber in Israel (because my parents know very very little about Israel). She's lucky that I have the unfortunate experience of how to find information when something happens, since I have people I care about in Israel. I know her stress all too well so I am trying to find ways to help her combat her fears. I am hoping that by teaching her this and exposing her to more information about Israel, she will feel at least a little more relaxed. That and a webcam will hopefully help. *fingers crossed* But in the end... she is a mom, and they are built to worry. ;-)
UPDATE:A woman was killed in Israel today when Palestinian terrorists fired a rocket into Israel proper and struck a home. To those that would say Israel should show some restraint, tell me, what would YOUR country do? Do you think the USA, for example, would just stand by while suicide bombers blew themselves up in your city centres? What if Mexico started firing rockets into Texas... do you think George W would just sit back and take it, show restraint, and attempt to negotiate with the terrorists? I think not... so why is Israel expected to?
1) I cannot BELIEVE the heat wave that is sucking the life out of my city right now. 43C/110F is just not normal for Toronto, let alone for a week or two straight. We just aren't equipped to deal with this kind of heat constantly. I swear that my mother had something to do with this and is using it as a way to scare me away from going to Israel. LOL! "Ya, you think it's hot HERE? Wait until you go to Israel!" Oh yeah? well I'm looking at the weather for Israel right now and it's about 10 degress cooler, so I'll take Tel Aviv over Toronto right now, thank you very much.
Today I went up to my co-worker from Burundi, Africa and asked her "Is it hot enough for ya??" (the most hated question of all on days like this) to which she said it was too hot. I pointed out that she was from AFRICA and that I ordered up this heat so that she could feel at home. After a good chuckle she said it's hotter here than Burundi because of the humidity... "It's not like this in Africa!! Here... it's too fucking hot!!" Ha! I can't believe she dropped the F-bomb, but this tends to happen a lot when talking about the weather lately.
2) Would the person arriving here using SiteJot please raise his/her hand? I have some questions about it and being a user I figure you can help me out. Thanks. :-)
3) I simply cannot stop eating this spinach pizza. If you can believe it, I actually prefer it over pizza you can order from a pizza place. It's just that good and I can only wonder... is it bad to eat it 3 -5 times a week??
I once had a very good friend....a long time ago... a lifetime ago, even. Today is her birthday, and even through the separation of space and time I have not forgotten this. So if you happen across my blog on this day, Happy Birthday, old friend. ;-)
because we could all use a little good news right about now...
I have sold two more bracelets. Yesterday I received an order from my darling friend, Hasidic Gentile over in Holland and just now I got an order from Warren in Worcester, MA. Hasidic, yours is going out this afternoon, Warren (and anyone else who orders in the next week) yours will take a little longer as I have more being made even as we speak. I will ship it out as soon as I can, I promise.
I can only assume I got this most recent order because of another wonderful plug that Laurence has given me over on his blog, showing one of his cats posing with my bracelet. For a gallery of kitties-with-celestial blue's-bracelet click here. It warms my heart to no end to see those kitties with my bracelet. Thank you SO much for your continued support Laurence..... I deeply appreciate your efforts.
UPDATE: WOW! I just got another order from Donna in Danvers, MA! Thank you so much!!
I am proud to announce that I have sold 100 bracelets in my fundraising effort. I thank everyone who has brought me to this point, especially Tzaddi who pushed me over the top by buying the 100th bracelet.
As for those who haven't bought one yet, I have to wonder.... why not?
I am stunned at the news of a multi-attack by terrorists in London, England. I was terrified as I went to my computer to get details since my friend takes the subway/Tube system to London in the morning to get to work. I was relieved to find an email from him in my inbox.
I am still in shock as I watch the details. And so help me god, if George W. Bush uses this to his advantage and says how this won't rock "our resolve" in fighting the "war on terror" I'll gag.
Also, this had better make Britons have a huge appreciation for what Israel is up against since they have been very VERY critical of Israel over the years.
Now I am heading over to other blogs to make sure Gilly and Yosef's families are ok.
UPDATE: Just got an email from my friend in London...
"If I had stayed at home for one more coffee I would have been on the wrong train but thankfully I was not. I guess it's just is not my time. Will write more when and if I get home today."
This from a guy who has lived in Israel and had scuds fly over his head. I bet he thought he left this sort of thing behind when he left Israel. *sigh* He, like millions of others, will be stranded away from home for the foreseeable future as all transportation in and out of the city has been suspended. Here's hoping he makes it home safe and sound.
UPDATE 2: Where there is darkness, let there be light! I would like to thank Shayna in Florida, Aaron in Kentucky and my friend/co-worker Angela for your support by buying a bracelet to help send me to Israel. Once again when I am down and out, someone comes along and picks me up. Your timing couldn't be better, thank you so much. That brings my count to 99 bracelets sold.... and now more than ever, I want to get to Israel.
One of the things I love about my place of work (indeed, of Canada in general) is how very multi-cultural it is. We are a country of immigrants, and I love getting to know other cultures through conversations with people I run into or those I work with. I am fascinated by stories of those who have immigrated here, I suppose in large part because I can't imagine how hard it must be to just pack up everything and move to a completely foreign country, often one in which a different language is spoken. In my office alone we have people from Italy, Uruguay, Croatia, India, Guyana and most recently Burundi.
My new co-worker, whom I now call Miss Burundi has been subject to my usual interrogation that I give upon learning that someone is from another country. Where are you from? How long have you been here? What languages do you speak? Did you speak English before you came here? Why did you leave your country? Will you ever go back? Do you like it here? How do you like the winters? What don't you like? And so on...
I often like to read up on someone's country so that I can then ask more specific questions, and also because I like to learn more about other places. Geography has always been of great interest to me. So when I found out that my new friend was from Burundi (just outside of Rwanda in Africa) I began reading. In the morning I would walk into her office and strike up a conversation about what I had learned. One day we were discussing languages (the reason she was hired here is because she speaks fluent French, as is common in African countries, many of which are former French colonies) and how I have "language envy" of anyone who speaks more than one language. I told her I am desperate to learn Hebrew and her ears perked up and she said that she LOVES Jews. Well, you can well imagine my confusion at this statement.... Jews are not a particularly popular folk, and indeed, it's rare to find someone who professes to love and admire them! (in fact, she shook my hand when she learned I was Jewish!) She told me that the Jews helped bring awareness to the plight of her people who were being wiped out by genocide in her country. She said that she identified with the Jews as a persecuted minority and that she appreciated all that the Jews had done to help her people. This is something I did not know!!
Later that day I decided to look up the flag for the country of Burundi, another little thing I love to do. When I found it I could not believe my eyes; the flag has several stripes, and three stars. Stars that look exactly like the Star of David you find on the wings of the planes in the Israeli Air Force! Could this be a coincidence? I don't know but I have to admit... it made me feel like I had a little bond with my new friend, you know? Like we have a little something in common.
Miss Burundi and I also talked about my trip to Israel which she was sweetly supportive of and thought it would be a great adventure for me. I think so too, and I can't wait to share my own stories of distant lands....
(For more information about Burundi you can go here and here.)
I'd like to thank Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg for ensuring I had a fitful night's sleep. Let this be a lesson to you, kiddies.... no watching War of the Worlds just before you go to bed! The viewing of this movie coupled with the fact that this minor cold I've had since Sunday night that took a turn for the decidely worse last night, meant that I tossed and turned and got very little sleep. If I wasn't sitting up and hacking and coughing or fumbling my way into the bathroom in the dark for cold remedies, I was having nightmares that giant robots and aliens were taking over the world and I had to develop my emergency plan and begin to stock pile food. I kept falling asleep for 30 minutes here and there and each time I would pick up where I left off..... under attack and running for my life. It's safe to say I feel like complete garbage today at work and I can't wait to go home and go back to bed.
So what did I think of the movie? I liked it. It had it's scary moments and many times I caught myself holding my breath or tensed up because of the scene. When Tom hid behind a wall we ALL hid behind the wall and held our breath so as to not give him away. It was scary and sometimes even graphic... and made me wonder how all those 9 year olds in the theatre were going to sleep that night (little did I know it would become such a problem for me). I had read several reviews of the movie and they all said basically the same thing.... the movie is truly fantastic... until the ending. So I was a bit leery in terms of how it was going to end and yes, found that the ending fell a bit short. Not horribly so, but it was mildly disappointing. I'm not sure what kind of an ending would have satisfied me, but that one didn't do the trick. It was sufficient, but not on par with the rest of the movie.
As for the rest of the actors, I have to say (at the risk of sounding like I am hopping on the Dakota Fanning bandwagon)... that little girl has some *serious* talent. At one point while I was watching the movie I actually thought... this scene could not be pulled off if that girl didn't act so damn well. Tom would just look like a crying fool if it weren't for her extremely well played emotion that gave meaning and depth to the whole scene and gave meaning to the crying of Tom's character. It's a given that Tom, with all his experience and talent can cry on cue, but for this little girl to be able to convey such huge emotion at so young an age in life and career.... was truly impressive. I really have to tip my hat to this girl, she was amazing. Her big eyes told you exactly what she was seeing off camera, and it was terrifying. Her tears were huge and heartbreaking and you wanted to just scoop her up in your arms and sweep her away from all the bad and scary stuff.
Then there's Tim Robbins, who isn't getting nearly enough press for his character. Yes it's a fairly small role but he plays it so very well. Unlike his usual likeable chracters he comes across as a bit crazed and maniacal and it was very entertaining to watch. I applaud him for taking such a small role and making it his own, it was great.
Overall I still recommend it despite the weak ending, as the invasion for the first half of the movie is truly terrifying and scary. It's well worth it and it gets you thinking... what would *I* do in those circumstances?
Happy Birthday to my big brother (see an adorable picture of my brother and I as kids here) and to the United States of America! I hope you guys are enjoying your long weekend and having a great time!
What a crazy weekend I had. Friday I just kind of kicked back and obsessively played Deus Ex 2 on my computer (actually, I obsessively played it at every opportunity this weekend.... I'm so close to finishing it!!). Saturday I was up at the crack of dawn to meet up with my friend to put up signs for our garage sale (we had technical difficulties on Friday and couldn't) and then the madness began. The signs said the sale was from 9am - 2pm, but people were swarming us at 8am as we were setting up. By the end of the day I had made $100 towards my trip on stuff that I otherwise would have given away or tossed out, so that was good. The second day was much less successful, and I only brought in about $10 (most of the good stuff was gone by Sunday). Overall it was a great weekend and I made just over $200 towards my trip to Israel. Slowly, slowly...
I learned two thing during my garage sale this weekend.... (1) that I may never know what it's like to have a tan. I only burn. (2) I don't have the personality to do garage sales and tend to get very grumpy with people who don't try to barter on a price so much as wear you down and annoy you until you agree to their price.
I got burned again, which is just plain stupid considering I got burned last weekend. Happily I didn't get burned in the exact same parts I did before, but rather, foraged a new burn in fresh territory. You can clearly see where I could reach my back and shoulders when applying the sunblock and where I could not. I have the dumbest looking burns ever; a triangle here, a stripe there. Red patches look pretty damn sexy when you're nekkid, lemme tell ya.
One thing that North Americans are not very good at is bartering. We live in nations where there aren't so many markets, just mostly malls where pricing is fixed and usually non-negotiable. Not so with the foreigners who came to my garage sale and drove me batty. In particular there was an old Asian lady (and this is not a racist thing so please don't go there... in these parts the Asians are renowned for being particularly aggressive in their bargaining) who would NOT stop asking for a lower price despite being told repeatedly what the final price was. She used the language barrier as a vehicle in her bartering by only saying numbers (which often she would gesture instead) and saying nothing else. "How much?" "4 dollars" "2 dollars" (a statement, not a question, I should point out). "No, 4 dollars." "2 dollars?" "4 dollars." "2 dollars!" "I'll go 3 dollars, but that's it" (much hand gesturing at this point) "2 dollars" "NO." Finally she would laugh and walk away. This may have been amusing to me too... if only she hadn't come back 3 times over 6 hours on Saturday to repeat this same performance. I let my friend handle her after a while because I wasn't amused.
All in all I can't complain too much. I got to spend lots of time with one of my bestest friends and the weather was beautiful. And for all the annoying customers I had, I got a few very nice ones as well. I struck up a long conversation with a Chinese woman when she bought a book I had for sale.... "Teach Yourself How To Read Hebrew". I was of course curious as to why she would want the book, and so we talked for a long time about how she is Christian and would like to be able to read some Hebrew scriptures. We also talked about her daughters interest in languages and so on.... she was really quite wonderful to talk to, and she too came back later in the day. I was really happy she stopped by and had a great time talking with her.
Sunday night I got home from the garage sale, showered and changed, and had dinner with my family. It was a birthday dinner for both my brother and my mother's birthday. The highlight of the evening was watching my father's reaction to accidentally eating a chili pepper in his meal. He tried to be cool about it but his face went red, eyes popped out and his spit all over his plate. My mother looked mortified, my brother and I amused and my brother's girlfriend concerned. The waiters tried to hide their amusement and finally came over with more water when they saw him stuffing his cloth napkin into his mouth. Ah yes..... good times.
As for today.... well, it's a new day. And my week has started off right! (with the exception of the cold I woke up with) I just got a delivery in the mail from MBGD (My Big Gay Daddy) down in the States who shipped up my brand new camera to me. I have to turn in the camera I use now since it's a company camera, and get a new one for my adventures in Israel. So with MBGD's help I got myself a kick ass camera at an affordable price. There's no way I could have afforded this without you, sweetie... thanks for your continued love and support! And now everyone will benefit, as I will take all kinds of amazing pics while traveling all over Israel!
Now... if only I could get an answer about my financial aid application.... then I could finally start making solid plans for my trip. Like booking an airline ticket and buying luggage!!
It's days like this that remind me how good I have it here in Canada. I love my country, I really do. It's a deep and long standing love affair it is. What can I say? This is the country that produced such big names as Dan Akroyd, Avril Lavigne, Jim Carrey, Kiefer Sutherland, Celine Dion, Shania Twain, and of course, Wayne Gretzky. For a list of famous Canadian musicians go here. For a list of famous actors go here. For other famous Canadians (like astronauts, authors, artists and more) go here. For more about Canada in general go here. Ya never know what you might learn! Check out my post from last year to see what I love most.
Since it is a holiday I have the day off today. Last night the long weekend was kicked off just right; I was extremely tired heading down to the focus group I had agreed to go to ($100 for 2 hours work can make you agreeable to do the most boring of tasks). After driving (read: sitting) in traffic for an hour and a half and then taking 2 subways for another 45 mins I was nodding off as I sat in a waiting room with all the other participants. Finally a girl came out with a clipboard and called the names of all but three of us and lead them off to another room. The rest of us sat and speculated why we got left behind when the girl came back and said they had overbooked us and that we would still be paid the $100 but that we were free to go. Woohoo!! The fastest $100 I ever did make!! I have to admit... I did a little dance out in the hall when I left the office..... ok, and again in the elevator.
I decided to walk around downtown Toronto a bit, did some shopping at the Gap, grabbed a iced-minty-choco-cappa-something from Starbucks and then headed home. I was happy that my huge bad mood from driving in traffic had melted away to pure happiness.
So now I am heading out the door to meet my friend Melra to put up posters advertising our garage sale tomorrow and Sunday. Here's hoping for some more cash for my trip!!!
Now... to put my Canada flag on my car, all loud and proud!
As any of you who read and/or write blogs are aware.... you tend to get to know other bloggers well through their blogs. Depending on how much a blogger chooses to share you can really get a sense of who a person is and feel close to them because you often know a great deal of information about them. And often times you feel a real bond with another blogger, and can even develop a close friendship as you share stories.
It is because of one such fondness for another blogger that I was weeping uncontrollably yesterday morning while reading his blog. Laurence's blog often features the antics of his four wonderful cats, and his take and humour on it all has made me laugh on many occasions (you may recall one of his cats posing with the blue bracelet I am selling to raise funds for my trip). Yesterday, however, I was reduced to tears as news came that he had lost one of his beloved cats, Edloe. I felt a particular fondness for Edloe because she reminded me very much of my own cat, Abbey. And the pictures and clips of the kitties allow you to peek into this kitty world and get to know them and love them like Laurence does. As a cat owner I feel for Laurence's loss and understand the pain.... many people just don't. We will miss you, Edloe!! I am very sorry for your loss, Laurence.... my heart goes out to you. Thanks for making Edloe a part of my life too. :-)
In other news, my mood has been lifted again in terms of my trip to Israel, thanks to my good friend Deborah over at the Livnot offices. She very patiently reads my grumpy emails in which I vent my frustrations about how slowly answers are coming and I am gently reminded that things are on Israeli time now. I guess I had better get used to it, hunh?? I have heard many people grumble about how horrible Israeli bureaucracy is, but I guess I've never had to deal with it first hand until now. Thanks for your continued patience and help, Deborah!
This Saturday and Sunday I (in conjunction with my good friend and occasional commenter, Melra) will be having a garage sale in an effort to sell as much of my worldly possessions as possible for maximum profit; the money will all go into my funding for the trip. It's interesting how your views of what's important shift when you are desperate to make money to meet a greater goal.... suddenly trading a tea kettle or food processor/chopper for a step closer to a plane ticket seems perfectly reasonable, ya know? I'm also taking part in a 2 hour focus group tonight in order to make $100 cash, which will also go into the funding pot. I love focus groups... I have so many opinions and I just love to share them. Heh. One time I actually made the guy who was running the group so mad that he actually left! (the focus group was being held by my home ISP, a company I have a few choice words for) This focus group tonight is being put together by Microsoft and my work ISP..... bwah ha ha!! I'm gonna get paid $100 to tell them what I really think??? This will be the most enjoyable hundred bucks I've ever made. Israel, here I come!!
Anyway, before I go I want to give a shout out to my mom.... it's her birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (not that you're reading this.... lord help me if you are!!) Just like last year I got her tickets to see her favourite band, Journey.
Also, I want to thank MBGD and Mulder for being there for me this week when I have been so incredibly stressed out. Thanks for your support guys, you really know how to help a girl through a tough time. I love you!!
It pretty much took a stick of dynamite to get me out of bed this morning.... I just couldn't wake up. The reason I just couldn't get up was because I just couldn't get any sleep, and when I finally did it was time to get up. Life is cruel sometimes.
I haven't been sleeping well over the last 5 or 6 days, in fact. I am getting severely stressed about money again and am starting to get a sinking feeling that the answer I get from the financial aid offices about the funding for my trip isn't going to be as good as I had hoped. The more I look at the cost of this the more I wonder just how I figured this was going to work..... I will be spending hundreds of dollars before I even set foot on the plane (I need everything from luggage to supplies). Oy, I must be crazy. Or desperate.... because I actually agreed to be part of a 2 hour focus group on Thursday night because it pays $100. Yup, I'm doing it for the money, and it goes towards the fundraising efforts. Ten more focus groups and I can almost afford a plane ticket!! lol
Anyway, all this fussing about money and constant calculating and recalculating in my head has resulted in little sleep for me over the last week or so. I just can't seem to shut it off long enough to get some rest... hell, even when I do I'm dreaming about it! I guess it would help if I ACTUALLY GOT AN ANSWER about my aid application. I'm just sayin'.
But I have a couple of heroes that remind me that hope springs eternal. One is Sarah over at "Life at Full Volume" who has posted a great story about receiving the bracelets I sent and even posted a picture of the kids wearing them. It's actually a great story so I encourage you to check it out.
The other hero is my new friend down under in Australia, Daniel, who ordered not one but TWO bracelets yesterday! I have really enjoyed our new found friendship (spawned when he wrote a bunch of Jewish bloggers and asked them to fill out a survey for a paper he's writing) and greatly appreciate his support on this. Thanks Daniel! That brings the count up to 96 bracelets sold.... so close to 100... so close!!
In completely unrelated topics:
1) the inbox of my Gmail account is completely empty. I finally cleared it all up, answered everyone I owed a reply to and filed the rest. This is the first it has been empty in at least 8 or 9 months. I'm feeling really quite pleased with myself. I simply can't stand it when my inbox gets cluttered.
2) at the Pride Parade on Sunday I got suckered into trying a sample of a beverage that I have always been curious to try, called SoBe. It's one of them there trendy "healthy energy drink" type of deals. I say that I was suckered because it wasn't until it was already in my hand and on it's way to my lips when I found out the flavour was "Cherry Courage". Being the polite Canadian I am I dutifully drank it despite the fact that I have a hate in my heart for cherry flavoured food products. No doubt my face indicated my inner hate; I never have been very good at hiding my displeasure.
3) I had a gas attendant at a station ask me yesterday if I "dyed my hair that way" (in order to make it as grey as it is. for those who have no idea what the deal is with my hair go here, though I have to say I think my hair is even more grey since I took that pic). This is not the first time someone has asked if I dye my hair like this... yeah, coz someone would choose WHITE highlights for their hair. And that same person would go to the trouble of pulling out individual hairs...one at a time... to dye them. *sigh* Why must people be so dumb?
I had an *awesome* weekend, and I have the sunburn to prove it!
Friday morning I hopped in the car and drove 2 hours north to spend the weekend with my beloved grandma. It's funny how big a difference 2 hours distance makes... it's like entering a whole other world. It's so green and beautiful and lush.... something I will sorely miss if I go to Israel this fall. Within a 10 minute span I saw a groundhog right in front of me eating the flower tops off of weeds, a deer wading at the edge of the lake getting a drink and a great blue heron take off after a successful feeding near the shore. I stood out on the dock at sunset and I saw loons as they made their mournful cry, kingfishers chattering and plunging from the sky into the lake to grab a fish, and dragonflies as they swarmed over my head. For some reason the dragonfly population is particularly plentiful this year which is good news for me since they help keep down the mosquito population. They were swarming over my head because the mosquitoes (and other such biting/flying bugs) come out at dusk and I was attracting them, which in turn attracts the dragonflies who take care of business for me so I can go about fishing without swatting. Unlike previous years I did not see much in the way of bats, which generally like to come out and feed on the dragonflies that come out to feed on the mosquitoes. In the past I have enjoyed standing outside while hundreds of bats flutter right by my head scooping up bugs.
Of course there were also the token raccoons, ever disturbing things and making a mess. My grandmother has motion detect lights and at night they are constantly turning on and off as the raccoons skulk around the yard at night. One time when the lights came on *thousands* of flying insects swarmed the light (as these things tend to do) and I was awestruck by just how many there were. The spiders had a mighty hard time keeping up with the multitude of bugs they were catching, and in fact the webs were having difficulty withstanding such an onslaught. Nature is really bizarre sometimes, I tell ya.
Ok, so the big question is.... did we catch any fish? The answer, I am happy to report, is yes (two smallmouth bass, seen here). This was no easy feat considering we were in heavy competition with a giant snapping turtle which was fishing in the same bay we were. My grandmother and I both caught two smaller ones which were put back in the water to be caught in another year or two, and then we both caught bigger ones, which we kept. Personally I am all for letting the poor things go because I don't have the heart to kill them, but grandma is an old-school farmgirl who likes to eat what she catches, so into the frying pan they go. I feel a little guilty when I say that they truly are delicious when freshly caught. And it was Saturday when I got my sunburn because I somehow thought I was impervious the effects of UV rays. I'm an idiot sometimes, I recognize this. Clearly this is a behaviour that will have to be rectified if I am to spend time in Israeli sun. My delicate white (read: Irish) flesh was not meant for longterm exposure to such light, this much is obvious.
Sunday morning I was up at 6am, out for a few hours of fishing, back in the car driving 2 hours home, off to the Pride Parade in downtown Toronto, back home, and then off to a 9:50pm showing of Land of the Dead. Needless to say, I slept like a babe by the time I rolled into bed at 12:30am.
The Pride Parade was great as always (footage and info here); I befriended a couple of lovely gay boys on the subway on the way down and then a few more while roaming the streets. One drunken guy came up from behind me and threw his arm around me and began chatting me up. He introduced me to his boyfriend and offered me some kind of alcoholic beverage from a jar. Yikes! I took a pass on the offer but chatted them up for quite some time.... really funny guys. And that is why I go to this event... it is just one big happy celebration and I wouldn't miss it for the world. The dancing in the streets to live as well as DJ'd music, the colours, the sight, the sounds.... it's amazing. And since I was sporting a fresh sunburn I was offered sunscreen numerous times by kind folk at various booths and tents. It was just a great time, but would have been better if My Big Gay Daddy (Sam) had been with me. I missed you sweetie, and thought of you the whole time. Pictures of all the fun from Pride and my fishing weekend can be found over in my photoblog (for archiving sake look in the June 2005 archives).
As for Land of the Dead (scary trailer here), it was a good film but it didn't scare me much. A friend of mine was a zombie in it so I spent a good deal of time trying to pick him out, but there were just so damn many that I couldn't locate him. Dennis Hopper was hilarious and the effects were great (the film was shot here in Toronto, btw) but it just didn't scare me like 28 Days Later did. *shrug* Is there no film out there that can scare me??
My mood is slowly (and I mean *slowly*) beginning to improve. In an effort to distract myself I spent a ridiculous amount of time throwing spears (and I mean an embarrassing amount of time. Occasional Bitch really needs to stop directing my attention to such games, as I can become really quite obsessive). Oh lord, I'm so hopeless that I even stopped in the middle of writing this post to play it again for another ten minutes. Short attention span? Who??
So I was writing an email to my buddy Deborah over in Livnot when the power in my office went out. In fact, the whole street went black. Personally, I was pulling for another big blackout like we had in 2003 but after a few calls I found that it was only in my area and lasted all of 25 mins. Drat. I love blackouts.
Oh, and in case you were wondering there is STILL no news with regards to my financial aid application. Yes, I was told June 15th. You can see where I am beginning to get a little anxious...... it's like waiting for test results. Stressful as all hell and my future hangs on it. However, Menachem in Brooklyn has raised my spirits by buying a bracelet to help me inch towards the money I need to realize my dream. Thank you so much!! It couldn't have come at a better time... I really appreciate it, and will ship it out today. Oh, and an special shout-out to Cassiopeia, si, and Occasional Bitch who have all put the "help celestial blue" button on their blogs to help get the word out. You ladies are too good to me.
Tomorrow I will be playing hooky from work and heading up north to spend time with my grandma. I have spent every last weekend in June with my grandma for the last 15+ years, as it is the opening of fishing season. Those who have been reading my blog for a while know that my grandma and I are very close and that she is an *avid* fisherman (pictures of my adorable grandma are here,and here). I always go up there during the summer and wake up at ungodly hours to head out on the lake with her to try and outsmart the fishies. I've already been having dreams about it this week. I think I'll stop by the Bass Pro shop on my way home tonight to stock up on gear that I need.
This will also give me an opportunity to tell her about my potential trip to Israel. I don't expect a particularly good response, and indeed I will be made to feel guilty for missing all the holidays between Sept and Feb. This may not seem like a big deal to most, but it's a *very* big deal to my grandma. It won't be pleasant informing her that I will not be present for family gatherings. She will just have to understand that this is a path I need to take.
I had my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner last night. I told them of my plans and they were very supportive. In fact my brother's girlfriend (I call her my sister-in-law... they've been dating for 16 years) said that if I decided to stay in Israel she would totally like to visit (I was amused to see such interest in Israel from a little Chinese girl. LOL!). I told her if I opted to move there she would be more than welcome to visit.
Anyway, after hanging out with my adorable grandma I will be racing back down to Toronto in order to catch the Pride Parade on Sunday. I love this parade!! So much fun to be had and such bright colours and happy people. Just truly a beautiful celebration of tolerance.... something a Jew can appreciate, no? It'll be a blast.... I'll post some pictures on Monday (I put a few pictures up last year).
I have had one of the worst days in recent memory, and it's not even over yet. Still plenty of time for it to get worse.
Like an incredibly bad dream I watched myself say and do some of the most bone-headed things I have ever said and done in my life, to some of my very closest of friends. All while feeling quite righteous about it, I might add! (and with a venom I have not spewed forth in *years*) When it was all said and done I had declared an end to two of my best friendships and told them not to bother me anymore and I wouldn't bother them.
What the hell got into me?? It's like some alien took over my body and systematically began ruining some of my most important friendships just to screw with me! I felt helpless as I watched myself morph into some kind of super-jerk and couldn't seem to stop the multitude of dumb things that spilled from my mouth (actually, my keyboard). And while I stand by the original reasoning of why I got upset I certainly can't condone my reaction and behaviour.
One friend has written to me and asked if I was really willing to throw away 15 years of friendship over something so silly to which I said no and apologized for my insane behaviour. The jury is still out on the other friend, though I'd have to say things don't look good. I don't think a plead of "I was suddenly posessed" will really work.
I think I need a vacation. Like... a 5 month one. Maybe to the Middle East.
I had this whacked dream last night. I dreamt that I was walkin' around all grumpy because I thought no one had remembered my birthday, all the while trying to act like I didn't care. Then suddenly some guy and a camera crew show up with two of my friends in tow. The guy had this "great plan" in which I would sing a catalogue of songs while he films me for what I can only suppose is a spot on a show or the news (how exactly is this a birthday present?). I was plunked down on a couch along with one of my friends as the guy explained how I would be singing many songs (like TWENTY) and how fabulous all this was going to look on film. This struck me as a bad idea on SO many levels, not the least of which was the fact that I am, by all accounts, a horrible singer. Oh, and did I mention the songs were in Hebrew?
It was clear that I was supposed to know these Hebrew songs like any good Jew, and so I was immediately beginning to panic since I in fact did NOT know these songs at all and was now about to be filmed trying to sing them. I elbowed my friend beside me to sing along when the time came, figuring he would know them better than I would (coz he's a better Jew?? I dunno. it's actually laughable because in real life my Hebrew is far better than his, and that's not saying much). As we began I tried to follow what my friend was singing, trailing behind him by a word each time, acting more like an echo to everything he sang. And when I couldn't follow him I just sort of randomly tossed out words I do know (glida, seret, dag, chai, mayim....anything goes!). The stress of trying to fake Hebrew in front of a camera and watching people finally woke me up in a pool of sweat. Whew!
What does all this mean, you may ask? Well it could have something to do with the fact that (all going well) I will be celebrating my birthday among strangers this fall. The program I want to go to in Israel starts a week or so before my birthday.... so I won't have my usual family and friends around me this year. Indeed, likely no one will even know, and I'm not one to advertise such things (especially since I will be far older than most of the other people in the program). I will be among my program peers for my birthday. Or maybe the dream has something to do with my fear of being a "lesser" Jew than others. That's a whole other story, but it's safe to say it IS a complex I carry with me. It could also have to do with my deep seated fear of being in a country in which I can't speak the language. I know I know, most everyone in Israel speaks English to one degree or another, but it's a thing with me. I don't like feeling helpless because I can't communicate.
Or maybe I just fear singing Hebrew songs on camera. *shrug*
So this morning I received some devastating news..... I will have to pack a sleeping bag for my trip. Why is this so catastrophic? Well, I am a notorious over-packer so the idea of losing valuable luggage space to a sleeping bag is unthinkable. Ok, it's true I don't know if I'm actually going or not, and yes it's true I don't actually even own any luggage yet... but I have been "mentally packing" over the last week or two. You know, making mental notes of what I will have to pack and what supplies I will have to buy. Most airlines only allow two big suitcases so I gotta plan 5 months of packing carefully. Deborah over at Livnot (get used to the name, folks. you'll be hearing a lot about her) has suggested that I could mail the bag ahead of my arrival and she would pick it up, which is both brilliant and kind of her to offer. I may have to consider this option. Who knew a simple sleeping bag could put my neurosis into overload?? Oh great, now I have the ZZ Top song "Sleeping Bag" stuck in my head (a clip of the song can be heard in that band name link). Thanks for nothing, Deborah!!
Speaking of Deborah, I'd like to once again thank her for her charming emails and patience with me. I say patience because not only have I become a pest about news regarding my financial aid application, I have also had moments of snapping at her. One day at work I was in one of those moods that indicates that the end of the world may be near; I'm not sure what went so horribly wrong that day.... perhaps a printer jammed or I was asked to do a task I didn't have any interest in doing.... but Deborah had the misfortune of calling that day. The only thing that went in her favour was that I had not been able to answer my phone when she called, but that didn't deter me from writing a scathing email in response to her call. She had simply asked for my deposit for the program, which set me off like a rocket because, as I mentioned, the world was ending that day and in fact I had already paid the deposit months ago. And so with the moons aligning just right between my mood at work and being asked for a third time for my deposit which had long ago been paid, I snapped. Sorry about that Deborah! Timing is everything and clearly it wasn't working in your favour that day.
As a token of my appreciation I have added a picture in the post just for you. Unfortunately I had to resize the picture so the words at the bottom of the sign can't be read. It is as follows: Hi Deborah!! (and Susie and Laurie). Please pass my love along to the other two girls since it can't rightly be read. They'll just have to believe me.
Ok everybody? Let's be nice to Deborah.... she's helping me out. If YOU want to help me out you can bloody well click on the "help celestial blue" button and buy a bracelet. DO IT!!! Forget sending a kid to camp, send me to Israel!!
A fellow blogger over at "If You Will It..." has come up with a great idea that balances his feelings about the disengagement conflict going on in Israel. Like him, I am torn about which side I lean towards since I can see the argument for either side and empathize greatly with both sides. To express these conflicted feelings he has developed his own concept, melding together the blue and orange ribbon campaigns. Go have a look at what he has to say....
Well, my weekend was good and bad all at the same time. The bad? Got pretty sick and I think I am battling some real bad-ass cooties. I am on extremely strong antibiotics to ward off this infection, and the drugs are knocking me on my ass and making me feel green around the gills. I cannot afford to get sick right now, I have too much fundraising and planning to do.
However, the weekend was marked by the happiest of events.... Princess Blondie's wedding. I took pictures of course, so if you are interested here's a pic of the most gorgeous bride and groom I have ever laid eyes on, here's the bride just glowing, and here's the bride and I celebrating at her reception. It was a great day, I just wish I had been feeling better... I ended up bailing early at the reception to go to bed. I don't get sick for 8 months and then I get sick on the day of my best friend's wedding??? Cruel, I tells ya...... cruel.
Now, on to the news of my trip to Israel..... ok, well, if I had news I would tell you. I was promised a call on Sunday regarding my financial aid application but I never got it. I'm starting to get a little impatient, I must say. My whole future hinges on this so it would be nice to know what's going on. Meanwhile I would like to say a *huge* thank you to Larry in Virginia (his wife has a blog here) for his generous order for my snazzy fundraising bracelets. THANK YOU!! That brings the bracelet count up to 93. Can't we sell at least 100??
It seems that support has dwindled down to nearly nothing now as people have forgotten about me and moved on, and now I am scrambling to continue to raise funds. I am not anywhere near where I wanted to be in terms of money raised so I am going to have to come up with some new ideas to get this going again. Panic about money is beginning to settle in again and I need to get a gameplan together if I'm going to keep this dream alive.
Come on folks.... I need your help desperately. Click the "help celestial blue" button for details and a link to buy a bracelet. If not then please pass the link along to anyone you know who might be interested in helping out. There is great power in news spread by "word of mouth".
UPDATE: I just got a call from Deborah (of Livnot) to tell me that she's working her butt off to get me an answer with regard to financial aid for my trip. That was mighty nice of her to call to say she had no answer as of yet. lol She promised she'd call when she finds out... I'll hold you to that! Toda raba for working behind-the-scenes on my behalf, I appreciate it. And now I am going home and back to bed. Feeling feverish and unwell. Have a good week everyone!
ABOUT ME I am celestial blue, just a Canadian girl trying to figure out the rest of the world, one post at a time.
If you want to read about my dreams and nightmares, go here: Technicolour Dreams.
If you want to see some of the pictures I have taken, go here: Dreaming in Blue.
