Friday, January 23, 2004
I've had this weird feeling today. I can't tell if it's just wishful thinking or some true inkling of someone or something trying to lead me, but I keep getting this nagging feeling like there's something I should be doing (and I mean in the grander scheme of things). I've had this before, but not for a long long time, and it generally precipitates me doing something rash if I'm not careful. I'm trying to figure out if has to do with changing jobs or making some other life decision, or if it has to do with someone or some place. Grrr. I just can't tell. Like Israel..I have a feeling I'm not done with my time there yet. One visit last summer was not enough, and now I have this insatiable drive to go back. I can't see myself living there, and even if I did want to live there it's just financially *impossible* for a wide variety of reasons. But still I have a huge desire to go back....a drive to return and explore more. My head is having a hard time rationalizing with my heart that a visit just isn't going to happen (it's an expensive trip, and money is tight) and I can just get my head out of the clouds RIGHT now if I truly believe I could be happy living in Israel. It's not my world, no matter how much I love it. I will have to find my happiness in visiting it and supporting it.

So what's this nagging feeling then? It would be nice if 'the powers that be' point me in the right direction if there's something I'm supposed to be doing. :-/ When this used to happen to me in the past I'd get depressed and decided I was just suffering from delusions of grandeur. However, now I am in a better headspace these days and can look at it as another nudge to get moving and figure out what I want out of life. Why haven't I gotten around to redoing my resume to handing it in to that guy I wanted to get diving lessons from? Laziness and procrastination, pure and simple. And maybe a little fear of failure and/or change. That needs to stop, I need to push myself outside my comfort zone. Enough screwing around, I'm going to have my resume ready by Monday, damnit, including a personal cover letter to the gentleman who runs the shop. Yeah! Seize the future!! Or something like that.... lol

Anyway, let's talk about bus safety. What do I mean? Well in most parts of the world, such as Canada, USA, Australia, Holland .....well just about anywhere else actually, people do not often have to fear for their safety when using public transportation. As most of you know, such is not the case in Israel.
Israel has developed a bus that now contains measures to help detect and hopefully deter suicide bombers from getting onto buses in Israel (remarkably this was ALL OVER the Canadian news last night). You may read about the system here, it's really quite impressive. I personally find it sad that Israel has been forced to look to such measures in order to secure it's citizens as they make their way to work, to school, to family dinners....... Hey, whatever it takes to take care of the people I love over there. I can be happy it's there, even if I don't like why.

And in another note of interest, it seems that 18% of British citizens are "moderately anti-semitic", whatever the hell that means. lol. Either ya are or ya aren't, folks. The survey also finds that many of the Britons believe that the events of the Holocaust are exaggerated. Yeah, right, we're just making it wasn't really 6 million people that were murdered, we're just doing this for sympathy. I guess then it shouldn't come as a surprise that a British MP has been quoted as saying "If I was Palestinian, I would also carry out terror attacks". Thanks for your support for terrorism, Jenny Tonge!! Good to know who's side you're on.

Moving away from all this stuff I'd like to thank you all for putting up with my drivel while I've been sick and stuck at home the last two weeks. I'm feeling much better the last two days, and I dare say I will be back to work on Monday. Hopefully I'll be able to inject this blog with more colourful dialogue as I begin to interact with the outside world again. And for those interested, my brother and his girlfriend have named their cats Dylan (the tabby) and Diego (the black & white one). What can I say, my brother likes Bob Dylan. lol (though I can't explain the Diego)

P.S. Do you guys remember me telling you how much I loved the Oukast song "Hey Ya" coz it makes me so damn happy? Well this is the song done Snoopy style. Enjoy. (link via am)