Thursday, May 26, 2005
Revenge of the Blogger
I can't do it. I just can't bring myself to write any real kind of a post about the Star Wars movie. Not only has it been done to death but I just can't be bothered to waste the energy on trying to pull it apart to analyze it. Bottom line: in all likeliness the hardcore oldskool fans will probably not like it. And if it's one thing I have learned it's that George Lucas sucks ass at writing, especially dialogue. He may be a master at visuals and creating an epic adventure... but a writer he is not. I shall site you an example, no spoilers so don't worry...
An actual scene with actual dialogue because even I can't write shit this bad:

[scene: Padme (pregnant with Luke and Leia) standing out on a balcony overlooking the city. As she stares pensively into the distance, Anakin (now on the verge of turning the dark side coz he can't get a promotion), watches her from the doorway.... ]

Anakin: You are so beautiful..
(Padme beams and with a huge smile replies..)
Padme: That's because I am in love. (hold on... I'm starting to gag)
Anakin: No... it's because I love you. (yup... definitely gagging now. it smacks of "No I love YOU more!" "No no, I love you more!")

At this point I had to laugh and I wasn't the only one. This wasn't the first or last example of bad dialogue in that film I am sad to say. And that wasn't all I was disappointed with.. I could go on and on about how it was anti-climatic, had no real surprises and how it lacked depth when explaining what drove Anakin to the dark side. I guess I was foolish in building my hopes up that this would be the film that made up for the last two. I don't know why I thought it would be good, but it wasn't. I agree it was an improvement over the last two, but it still took away from the greatness of the original three.

I have been trying to find Star Wars happiness in other ways since the film did not fill me with the sci-fi joy I was dreaming of. Firstly, have a look at the pics of me in the Star Wars lineup where I waited for 8 hours, playing poker and having fun with the other geeks (go to my photoblog here, or for the sake of archiving go here, here, here, here and here). See the smile? Little did I know of the disappointment ahead of least I cleaned up at the poker table.

As I have already mentioned I have have been lucky enough to partake in the goodness that is Star Wars cereal, thanks to my mom who brought it back for me from a recent trip to Las Vegas. I called and requested it, and then she called back and asked "Do you want the box that has Vader on it or the green guy?". Could this be more embarrassing to a geek who was standing in line for the biggest movie event of the year among her peers?? "Mom!!!! His name is Yoda. YODA!!"

Yesterday I went to 7-11 to get the "Darth Dew Slurpee" coz I sure love me a slushy frozen drink and if it's got something to do with Star Wars, I am SO there! I got myself a giant cup with Vader and the Green Guy on it, and the lid that covers the cup is Vader! I got to sip from Vader's brain!! Ok, ok... it's not so exciting to read about, I see that now. Anyway, if you have a 7-11 nearby I strongly urge you to get one.

Wanna see something better than that crappy new Star Wars movie? Behold Store Wars, as sent to me by one of my geek friends. It's *extremely* well done!! Let the fight for organic food begin! For optimal enjoyment go grab a Darth Dew Slurpee and park yourself in front of your monitor to watch this delightful little film.

And the best Star Wars link of the day is brought to you by Burger King; The Sith Sense. Here you will see Darth Vader guess in 20 questions, what you are thinking about. I was *stunned* when he guessed both squash and hedgehog. The dude is GOOD. Go check it out, it's *really* freaky. And it's better than the new movie (much more entertaining, truth be told).