Oy, my brain is going to melt. I have to make some huge life altering decisions in the next few weeks and I'm feeling the stress of it.

On one hand I am waiting for the decision as to whether or not I will get financial aid for my 5 month Livnot trip to Israel, and more importantly, how much aid. I am getting a sinking feeling it's going to be at least $3,500 away from what I will need and I'm not sure my fundraising plan is going to bring me even close to what I need. So I'm panicking a bit. A lot, actually. I have to wait until June 15th to find out about the financial aid, and that will give me about 2 months to find more money, pack up my life and put it in storage, and sort out everything I need to do in order to live in Israel for 5 months. I'm feeling the squeeze from lack of time.

Meanwhile, I have been making plans in case I don't go to Israel, and those plans involve getting a new apartment with a roommate to help ease my extremely high cost of living. I have found two apartments I like, but one needs an answer by June 1st and the other needs an answer by June 15th (how ironic). So my mother (who has no idea about my efforts to get to Israel for 5 months) is pressuring me to make a decision because these are indeed great opportunities and the longer I wait the greater the chance I will lose out on these opportunities. What I can't tell her is that I have to wait until June 15th in order to make a decision! Gaahhhhh!!! STRESS!!!

Anyway, I am trying to put off the decision as long as I can but it's getting tough. I need answers, and I need them soon... I wonder if I can put pressure on for an answer about financing...

I am also a bit torn about this getting a roommate thing. I need some input from those who have lived (or are living) with a roommate, and I don't count a significant other as a roommate. I'm talking someone you have a platonic relationship/friendship with. See, this friend that I am planning to get a place with had been staying with me for the better part of three weeks (until last Sunday) so I have had a glimpse into how things would work out as roomies. I have spotted a few potential trouble areas in the future and I need some advice from those who have had a roommate....

how do you split up money for things that aren't so cut and dry, like food and toilet paper and stuff? those things don't have bills with obvious amounts like phone bills do, ya know? and how do you sort out the cleaning duties? Given that I am on a recent de-cluttering and cleaning rampage I am not looking forward to having someone come along with his junk and undoing what I have strived so hard for. I'm not an anal-retentive neat freak or anything, but an apartment can get small pretty fast when there's too much crap laying around in every corner. And while I don't clean every other day or anything, I do like my place presentable... when my home is clean I am happy. When it starts to get unclean, I become unhappy. I don't know how to establish the rules/duties/boundaries without sounding like a nagging wife. How have you guys split up the duties? How did you ensure they got done without one or the other coming across as a nag? Did you establish a day in the week for cleaning?

And one more thing... although I have let my friend use my computer when staying at my place, when we move in together I don't really want him on it. It's going to sound personal when it's really not... but the fact of the matter is ... I have a *really* nice brand new computer and I am very protective of it. My friend has no computer and will want to check his email and play games. He's going to think I'm an asshole for letting him use it before and then suddenly revoking that offer when we share space permanently. In a way I guess it IS a trust issue and I'm sure I'd be a bit peeved if the situation was reversed... but I honestly don't trust that something won't accidentally happen. Or that maybe one day he gets curious and pokes around my computer where I keep some *very* personal stuff. And I'm willing to bet he'll want to start downloading music and stuff (and since I do, how could he not think it's ok to?) and that's when trouble could really come my way. You can tell me all you like that I should just tell him no but we all know that one day, when we're all good and comfortable in our space and I'm not around.... he'll go on there. And I will know that he did (because of course I will set up monitoring and passwords on as much as I can) and then I will get angry.. and...well.. it just wouldn't be pretty and could cause a rift.

Well. Let's hear from you guys.... as much advice as you can put out there. I'm gonna need it all. Let me learn from your experiences!!

Shabat Shalom!