Saturday, August 20, 2005
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life
I now function at a whole new vibration.... when I wake up in the morning, as soon as I realize consciousness, my heart starts *pounding*. Every morning that I wake up in my own bed is a morning closer to the time when that will no longer be the case. I immediately try and figure out what I have to do today and calculate how much time I have left to run around and get organized before I go. I can feel that my heart rate and pressure are now constantly high, and I don't much like it.

Yesterday I did me a bit of crying at work, if I may be perfectly honest. Calling the bank and finding out I did not get the increase in my line of credit like I had hoped was a huge a blow and my stress level rocketed to new levels. I don't have time for things to go wrong!! It wasn't until after lunch that I finally pulled myself together and began trying to figure out an alternate plan. I applied for a line of credit with another bank (which I hate doing.. I like to keep my debts in one place, they're easier to keep track of) and I have no idea when I will find out about that. I have very little time to get my hands on that money (assuming I get approved) and to get things organized. Precious little time to figure out Plan C if that doesn't work and I don't get money from that bank either. I have mere days to figure all this while still trying to work, pack up my apartment, pack up my luggage and see as many friends and family as I can before I go. Like I said, I can feel my heart thumping in my chest now, *all* the time.

HOWEVER! At a time when I really seriously needed a win, I called up the deadbeat eBay seller whom I am feuding with to duke it out with him (since he has been completely disregarding my emails and prior call). Lo and behold the fool answered his phone and I went at him with both barrels. I hadn't noticed how loud I was screaming into the phone until someone had come to my office to shut the door..... I guess I was disturbing others in the office. Oops! Anyway after he threatened to take me to court in the States (ooo.. I'm quaking in my little Canadian booties!) and various other threats we tossed back and forth he finally relented. Even as we speak there is a second laptop being sent up here from Texas by UPS. WOOT WOOT!!!!!!!!!!! It seems the fella didn't like the website I had made about him in which I advertised what an asshole he is and he wanted it removed (I bet he didn't like me contacting ALL the people bidding on his current items either. heh). I told him if he sent me a new laptop I would remove the site and that when the laptop is actually in my hands I will remove the negative feedback I so kindly left for him. The expected date of arrival: Aug 26th. Gives me a whole 3 days to get it ready for my trip (*stress!!*) but it's a damn sight better than buying a new one like I was on the verge of doing! WHEW!!!

Thank you to every single one of you who clicked on the website to help drive up the visitor counter (I think that really had an impact, especially since you drove my website to the number 2 ranking in the Yahoo search engine for "laptop-wholesaler"!! the guy *freaked*!). And thanks also goes to those who linked that website on their blogs, who helped research alternatives, who offered me the use of their laptops while in Israel, and who offered wonderful words of encouragement, support and suggestion. It may not have seemed like it, but you helped me keep my head together.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have the best readers ever. I love you guys!

"O-o-h child things are gonna get easier
O-o-h child things'll get brighter

Someday we'll get it together and we'll get it undone
Someday when the world is much brighter
Someday we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Someday when the world is much lighter

- Nina Simone

P.S. I keep forgetting to mention this (likely because I'm so wrapped up in my own personal drama... bad celestial blue, BAD!): you want to know what REAL stress is like when trying to pack up and head to Israel? You should head over to Katie-Yael's blog to follow her experience of making aliyah (moving to Israel). She JUST arrived this week and is beginning to settle in and figure things out. She has said goodbye to life in New York and has now made her home in Tel Aviv. Go extend some of that famous encouragement to her, she can use all the support she can!