Tuesday, January 04, 2005
seeking advice
Scenario: A friend of mine (I dare say, one of my best friends for the better part of 16 years) wrote me a strange e-mail over the weekend to tell me about something that she admitted she should have told me about earlier but felt too awkward about it. She confessed the information to me in the e-mail, admitting it's wimpy to do it in writing rather than over dinner we had just hours prior. The whole thing struck me as odd, and things didn't seem to add up. The e-mail was very out of character for her, and I was perplexed as to why she hadn't told me sooner. What she "confessed" to wasn't a big deal at all, or at least it wouldn't have been if she had just told me when it first happened. Now I was left wondering WHY she hadn't told me sooner and how long she had known. Perplexed as to what to do I didn't immediately reply because I had mixed emotions. Why hadn't she just told me? What was I missing?

I found out from another source that she had lied a bit in her confession. She lied about why she hadn't told me and she lied about how long she had known. Now I was starting to get mad because as far as I am concerned, if you're going to come clean with someone (especially your best friend) then come clean, damnit. Don't do a half assed job. So now I am more angry and hurt than I ever would have been if she had just told me in the first place. If it is one thing I cannot STAND it's when friends lie to me.

Question: So? Do I confront the friend (I cannot reveal my source to call her on the lying) and ask her why she lied (risking further lying from her)? Do I just let it go and adopt the "choose your battles wisely" stance, remembering that this wouldn't have been such a big deal in the first place? Do I go with the silent treatment to give me some time to cool off (which admittedly, I am doing right now. I never answered her e-mail and didn't return a call she had made while I was out last night)?

What say you, honourable readers?