Saturday, May 08, 2004
two hours and ten dollars I will never get back
Let me tell you....Van Helsing was so bad I think it may very well make my top ten list for worst movies I have ever seen. Van Helshit had dialogue that made me groan and overacting that made me want to scratch my eyes out. In the first two minutes of the movie I turned to one of my friends and whispered "oh god...this movie is going to be awful". Yes, it was THAT clear from the start. Some of the special effects were quite good, but not enough to save this film. Not even close. Hugh Jackman was hot. Kate Beckinsale was hot. Still not enough to save the film. So bad were some of the lines in the movie that my friends and I would draw angry stares as we couldn't help but laugh outloud. And if the dialogue itself didn't make you laugh, perhaps the ridiculous accent with which they were delivered will (or Hugh Jackman's hair extensions). We nearly laughed until we cried....and then we DID cry, because the movie was just that bad. I must have checked my watch at least every 15 minutes pleading for my agony to soon be over. I began daydreaming about how I'd go home and have a nice hot bath and maybe watch Third Watch that I had taped because I was busy seeing a shitty movie. Maybe I could find a way to forget that I ever saw this film. After it was finally over my friends and I talked for a bit after the movie and laughed at what a train wreck of a movie that was. We even re-enacted some of the scenes for our own amusement (and I dare say, we did a better and more believable job). Did I mention the movie was bad? peeeee-yooo! More reviews here if you are interested.

But today is another day filled with new adventures! Today's adventure has been rooting through my stinky garbage to search for a missing knife. I had noticed earlier in the week that one of my most loved/used knives had suddenly gone missing, and given that I live alone in an apartment, there aren't a lot of places for the knife to go. And since I have a very short term memory, I am (by necessity) a creature of habit. That knife is only ever in the wood block with the rest of the knife set, or it is in the dishrack. It was nowhere to be found, and I had come to the grim conclusion that it must be in the garbage, tossed out by accident. Unfortunately I did not have any time this week to take up the task of going through the garbage and I couldn't very well toss out the garbage until I had gone through it, so it was *mighty* ripe by the time I got to it this morning. I crammed some Kleenex up each nostril, snapped on rubber gloves and began the inspection. Mercifully I found it somewhat near the top so I didn't have to rummage too much, and in the end I felt really quite triumphant. Huzzah!

This has lead to some general house cleaning, which is also good and much needed. My good mood has dwindled somewhat, however, since my brother called and we are trying to sort out Mother's Day plans. I suppose it's wrong but neither of us is at all interested in making an effort to do something. Neither wants to host a dinner at our home, so we elected to pay the price and split the cost to take her out to dinner. After making some calls it's looking expensive, around $45 a plate. For 5 people. No friggin' way man, I'm way too poor for that. So it's somehow been left up to me to find some place to eat, and thus the growing grumpiness. Lazy bastard, brother. I think I've concluded that I'll just make dinner for the family but I'll do it at my parents house. It's too hard to host it at my place, it would be a bit cramped. My parents have a big place, top of the line appliances and lots of dishes. And a dishwasher. :-) So I'll go pick up the ingredients tomorrow and make dinner. Here's hoping I don't poison the whole family. Bwah ha ha!

So I can't I have a nap now or do some Hebrew homework? ......... hmmmmmm......
Nap, then homework. I swear I'll do some homework...later.