Sunday, May 02, 2004
back in the saddle
Before I talk about me......

There was more anti-semitic vandalism in the Toronto area on Friday. I am much more disturbed by this one than any of the previous times because it shows more thought and more "education" than just a couple of punk-ass kids knocking over some headstones. This time phrases such as "Einsatztgruppen A" and "Son's Of Gestapo" were written on a synagogue with black marker. For more info including video footage, click the link.

Spartacus posted news of anti-semitic vandalism in France, complete with pictures. Check out his post, it's pretty horrifying as well. Frankly, I'm not impressed by either incident. As civilized as we may believe the world has become.....clearly it's not.

Meanwhile, a couple of Palestinians took it upon themselves to murder a pregnant woman and her 4 children, by shooting up a car they were travelling in. "The dead were identified as Tali Hatuel, 34, eight months pregnant and her daughters Hila, 11, Hadar, 9, Roni, 7, Merav, 2 all from the settlement of Katif.". Remind me again how it is that the world has more sympathy for the Palestinians than Israel?? Makes me sick.

As for me...well.... I'm done having my little pity party for myself. I'd like to thank everyone who was kind enough to show me some support and shared some reassuring words. A big hug goes out to Oren and the rest of you for making me feel loved. Thanks for all your comments, you guys are the very best! And hey, it was almost worth it just to get a comment out of Dinesh for the very first time!! (speaking of which, THERE'S a guy who has a cool job!) And shout out to Chris L., a regular reader and commentor on my blog, for engaging me in a delightful e-mail conversation and allowing me to get to know him that much better. I will get back to your e-mail, I promise (and let's all encourage him to get a blog of his own...the guy has lots of interesting things to share, lemme tell you!).

Basically, I had a bad day at work on Thursday and was clashing with the boss. It was a combination of the stress and worry about my friend, and not being all that happy with my job and the tasks being assigned to me that day. Friday my boss told me to not bother coming into work and to take the day to calm down, think about my actions (yes, I was a jerk, I admit) and to figure out just what it was I wanted out of this job, and what direction I wanted to go in. This is now the THIRD time my boss has asked me just what it was I wish to do in my job that will make me happy since I'm obviously not. This lead to me spending the day in an emotional haze since I really *don't* know what I want or why I'm not happy. And more importantly, I don't know how to find the answers. Can I save this job and find a way to make it my own and make it something I like (maybe even love)? Will I never find happiness in this job because it's not what I truly want to do? If so, what IS it that I truly want to do??

So all these questions rolling around my head lead to me just shutting down for the day. I'm not always the best at coping with stress, and I get very stressed when I think about what I want to do with my life when I'm on the verge of turning 30. I really *ought* to have some kind of idea by now, don't you think? So does this mean I go to a career counsellor and do one of them personality tests? do I stay in my job now or do I leave? gahhhhh!!! I don't know!!!!

Princess Blondie called me on Friday coz she knew something was up. I had me a little cry on the phone with her, and she came home at lunchtime and made me a nice cup of Chai tea and talked with me for a while. *sigh* She's just the bestest neighbour and friend a girl could ask for. I felt lots better after that.
Friday night I went to a meeting with my friend/sponsee, which was painfully boring. Luckily we make our own fun, but man, there's only so much fun we can invent out of nothing. lol. Then after the meeting I met up with another friend of mine ("Melra") and went and saw Kill Bill 2 again. Great movie, loved it the second time too.

Saturday I went out with Melra in the morning and we drove around and did all kinds of shopping. In the end I didn't buy anything for myself, but I did pick up a huge package of salmon for Princess Blondie (as per her request, I don't just pick up a whack of salmon for my neighbours. what kinda weirdo do you take me for, anyway??). After that I came home, tried to have a nap. Went out to dinner with my mom and then came home and hung out with Princess Blondie and Bruno (did I mention I have the nicest of neighbours?). I let Bruno use my super-awesome food sealer to divide up his salmon and vacuum seal it into smaller portions for freezing. Now he wants a food sealer of his own (and rightfully so, these things are awesome!!).

After that I decided I was still not in the mood to go out with a group of friends, so I holed up in my apartment and watched Brother Bear (great film!). Am I a crazy girl on a Saturday night, or what??? lol

Today I am going to meet up with That Redhead to go see a film in the Toronto Jewish Film Festival. Should be interesting, I'll report back on how that goes.

And that's about it. Thanks again for showing me that I have the best readers ever, and for offering such kind words. Hope you all had a great weekend.