Thursday, May 06, 2004
mind your beeswax!!!
Why is that when I say I don't really wanna have kids, people insist on asking why? And then PRESS the issue. I mean....when people say they *want* to have kids, I don't gasp and ask why they want to have kids, now do I? So why is this not the case when the situation is reversed? Why am *I* made to justify and defend my position on not wanting to have children? Did it ever occur to the person asking that there might be a deep and perhaps very personal reason? I'm just wondering when it became okay to demand an explanation for a rather important decision in a person's life about something very private and personal (and really, I'm sure you can come up with a few reasons as to why a person might not want kids, it's not real hard) . Do I ask why you chose to marry your spouse? Nope...that's your decision. Do I ask how often you have sex? Nope, that's private stuff and really none of my business.

In case you can't tell, this is a topic that really pisses me off. I recently got swarmed by a couple of girls in the office when I said in casual conversation that I wasn't all that interested in having children. The three of them gasped in utter horror (all mothers, of course) and told me "but you have to have kids!!". EXCUSE ME?? I *have* to have kids?? Says who? Society? Other mothers? Coz let me tell ya, even my own mother doesn't pressure me...she understands that it's my choice, and would rather I didn't have them if that's not what I really want. If I do, great, she'd of course be thrilled. If I don't, that's my choice and she RESPECTS that. But these women berated me and demanded to know my reasons why. I eventually asked them if perhaps they couldn't think of a few people they have met that really shouldn't EVER have had kids. You know the bad parents you hear about in the news or through you think they should have had kids? It's just not for everybody, and so if I'm saying it might not be for me, why on earth would you try and talk me into it??

Some of my closer friends are a little perplexed because I am in fact quite good with kids, and adore my friends children. I am "auntie" to many of my friend's kids, and happily babysit when given the opportunity. But again, this doesn't mean I myself want any children. My reasons are my own, and I'm not going to launch into them here, but I'm sure you can all think of a few good reasons. Am I completely dead-set against the idea? No, of course not. Someone might come into my life and my feelings might shift wildly in the other's possible. Not likely, but it could happen.
Meantime, stop telling me I'm selfish for not having kids (an argument I have never understood). I think it's more selfish having kids when you do it for all the wrong reasons, and plenty of people do.

Anyway, that's the end of my rant. It's just something I was thinking about yesterday, and I'm tired today so I thought a rant would be good for me. I was out late last night with some friends at a concert for a band called Jurassic 5. It was pretty fun, but started way later than I would have liked so I didn't get to bed until 1:30am. Once upon a time I was able to do these late-to-bed-early-to-rise schedules, but in my old age I just can't manage it nearly so well. I like my sleep, and I want as much as I can get my paws on. 5.5 hours is clearly not enough, so I have become and avid coffee drinker today. I don't drink coffee all that often, so a few cups of this and I oughtta be a total twitch bag.

Tonight is a big tv night. The series finale for Friends, and the second last Survivor (I believe the finale is on Sunday). Eek!! So exciting. I'll have to have a nap after work so I'm fresh as a daisy for all the fun. I'll be heading over to Princess Blondie's tonight for Survivor, so that makes me happy (I couldn't last week, and I sure missed our Thursday ritual). Meanwhile, I gotta put in what will no doubt feel like the longest day of my life, at work. When you haven't had enough sleep, time has a way of crawling...