Wednesday, October 15, 2003
cold karma
First things first, I am wide open to suggestions on how to get rid of the smell and taste of WD40 that is currently wreaking havoc in my fridge. It all started because my fridge was making a most obscene noise, actually waking me up at night, and my landlord is being complacent when it comes to doing anything about it. So my friend across the hall, being the helpful chap that he is, came over to have a look. After pulling the fan apart we reached the conclusion that the motor just needed a little greasing. The only thing I had available was WD40 , and so we sprayed the fan. VoilĂ ! Fixed. Sure it smelled a little industrial, but at least it wasn't screaming like a wounded meerkat. However. There is always a price for anything that comes too easily, and that price has turned out to be the taste of my milk. My beloved milk. So if anyone has any suggestion (something better than the simple baking soda solution) I am all ears. Comments are for just such an occasion.

Next order of business. Karma. Allow me to give you a simple example that has happened to me recently, ever reminding me that payback is a bitch, and she doesn't let you know when she's coming.

I have a new phone. It's a Nokia 8390. A lovely phone, nice ring, nice vibrating feature, some games, and it's teeny weeny. Often so teeny I can't locate the damn thing in my bag when it's ringing until it's too late, and I miss the call. I know, boo hoo for me and my technology.
Anyway, I also have a cat. His name is Isaac. I love him very much, he's my boy. But anyone who owns a cat knows that half the joy of owning a cat is tormenting them. And I mean in a fun way like spooking them when they suddenly act as though they have never seen a remote control before, not by being evil and putting a hotplate under them.
Let's combine these two ideas....a teeny weeny phone and Isaac.

One day I get a bright idea. I call my boy over to come sit on my lap so I can pet him (god I'm going to hell for this..I can feel it already! don't worry folks, this story is about KARMA. keep that in mind). He's a good boy, very affectionate, so he gladly climbs on my lap (legs are crossed, his favourite kind of lap). Once he settles in I grab my teeny weeny cell phone and slip it under his fat kitty ass. He doesn't notice (he's fat, it's teeny weeny. and he's far too trusting.). I wait a moment or two (~purr purr~) and then reach over to the home phone sitting on the bedside table. I hit the hands free button and dial my cell phone number. Seconds later the cell rings....and therefore vibrates. It's kinda like..oh...a bee. Needless to say my cat rocketed out of my lap, and straight up into the air. BWAH HA HA!! I am amused. Of course I'm not entirely evil so I scoop him up in my arms and soothe him. }:-)
Where's the payback, you ask?

A day or two later I am driving along down a busy street in my area. The music in my car is blaring, and I am on my way to see a friend. My cell phone, always nearby, is on my leg/lap. Little did I notice that it had slid off my leg and into the general area of my crotch (the thing is TEENY, ok??). The friend I am meeting calls me to let me know he's running a little late....causing the phone to ring (I can't hear it) and to vibrate. Not expecting the sudden buzz in my crotch I am frightened and immediately have a knee jerk reaction; I slam on the brakes in the middle of moving traffic and nearly eat my steering wheel for dinner. After realizing what had just occurred I gave a big chuckle... cat karma had just paid me a visit and scared the crap outta me.

Like I said folks.....payback is a bitch, and ya never know when she'll come for you.