"The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love"
~Pearl Bailey~

Have you ever fallen in love with someone, only to not have it returned? And I don't mean you have this diehard crush on someone and you dream of getting together with them and what your lives would be like if you did....I mean really fallen in love. You would do anything to be near them and would die for them if ever such circumstances arose. The kind of love that happens but a few times in your life if you are REALLY lucky...unless it isn't reciprocated, in which case it is the most unlucky thing ever.
I have. I have known love not returned and it hurts more than anything I have ever known. And it's a hurt that doesn't ever go away. You end up taking what you can get, friendship, the occasional outing for a coffee, or anything at all, just to see the person. But your heart is aching the whole time....sometimes you put your hand to your chest to see if you can actually feel it breaking.
Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved? I don't think so....I think that when you have never loved you are lucky because your image of what it must be like is never tarnished....you can carry this storybook idea in your mind of what love is, without it ever being ruined.
I don't look on this particular love fondly at all...it has been an incredible hardship and has given me a broken heart that I have never been able to fully heal. And when you have a broken heart it is hard to love another. Had I a choice, I would never have allowed these feelings to grow, but we don't really have a choice about who we fall in love with do we? And this one just kinda sneaked up on me...I didn't realize until it was much too late.
But I have not given up hope....I hang on to the idea that I can and will fall in love again. In due time.

"Love is a fire.
But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house,
you can never tell."
~Joan Crawford~