Ah yes, that's me still smiling after a week that kicked my ass all over the place. I'm telling you, there are moments when I truly believe that I simply *must* be on tv... because whatever's happening to me at that moment just can't be for real. Here be an example...
My job as a sales rep entails working in a "big box" hardware type of store (rhymes with: Comb Repo) wherein I deal with the staff working at said store. Occasionally, however, I am called upon to travel to a customer's home in order to assess whether or not a complaint about my product is valid and what I am going to do to remedy the situation. The rules dictate that I am to travel with one of the store's employees, as I am not about to walk into a stranger's home alone.
On Thursday I was called to one such occasion and so I went to the store, picked up the store employee (who liked to muse that he was only there as a body guard), and headed to the location (in this case, an office in an industrial complex).
I'm going to spare you the long drawn out drama, but let's just say that the gentleman I dealt with believed in speaking at volumes normally reserved for those in the throws of a lover's quarrel. He screamed, he yelled, he basically threw a tantrum. In the midst of his tantrum I informed him that if he didn't calm down just a smidgen I would be leaving the premises; this did not deter him. I then informed him that I was done dealing with him and his rage and that someone in my company would be contacting him. At this point he called up somebody else and handed the phone to me... this would be the gentleman who actually bought my product (the Screamer was the installer). While on the phone (getting yelled at some more, lucky me!) I had to actually plug my ear because Screamer was so loud I couldn't properly hear what I was getting yelled at for on the phone. Screamer was yelling at the store associate, Phone Man was yelling at me. It was a good time all around.
Fast forward to returning to the store, feeling like I had just returned from battle. We are now in the install department of the store recounting our tale for the other staff who had also dealt with Screamer (the one girl warned me... "He's a real prat!"). Meanwhile, all through the screaming, talking to store staff and driving with an associate in my car with me, my mother had been calling repeatedly. I'm not one for rudely answering the phone when I'm in the middle of getting my ass handed to me, so I decided I would call her later. "A quick trip to the little girl's room and then I'll call her", I thought.
As I was leaving the washroom, heading around the corner and dialing my mom's number on my cell phone, I ran into a store associate who knows and loves me; "hey you!" she says as I stop dialing my mom in order to talk to her. We chatted for a bit before a guy (I had never met prior) walked up and interrupted our conversation to talk to the girl about something. The two spoke for a moment and then the guy turned to me and apologized for interrupting. "No problem" says I, at which point the girl introduces the gentleman to me and I realize I need to be nice to him.... he's the department manager for the department I work in. But here's where I am sure that my life is a tv show..
As he turned towards me to say hello during the introduction he takes a second look at me and says: "Wow
, you are such
a beautiful woman! What are you doing here??"
*blink* *blink blink*
"Uh..... I work here?"
I really didn't know what I was supposed to say to this bizarrely forward comment. I believe I may have blushed, I can't be sure.
"No really! You should be in modelling or marketing or something!"
Marketing? Really? Is that how ya woo a girl?
So awkward was this moment that the girl I was originally talking to decided to extricate herself from the situation and head off to lunch. I gave her that pleading look, but she disregarded me and disappeared. I looked back at the nice guy (with a mustache and strange pencil neck), gave a weak smile, and announced that I needed to head back to the install department. Sufficed to say the chap then followed me like a puppy-dawg all over the damn store asking me all kinds of I'd-like-to-get-to-know-you-better questions. What do you do? What do you do for fun? Do you have a business card? Do you have a cell number? How lucky for me that I have to be extra nice to this guy because my livelihood, in part, rests in his hands. God help me if he starts calling me.
All that crap happened within an hour and by the end I felt like a Mack truck had run over me a few dozen times. I'm sure I'm supposed to be flattered by pencil neck guy's advances, but considering the fact that I had just had my face ripped off by an angry customer I could barely muster civility much less appreciation for overly forward advances.
Alright, whatever. Let's move on to way more exciting topics. Like my new greenhouse and barbeque! The greenhouse has me beyond excited as I now have all kinds of fresh herbs growing right here on my balcony. Fresh dill, oregano, basil, parsley, and thyme! Eek!! The greenhouse took all of maybe 10 mins to construct. The barbeque, however....
First of all, it SAYS on the box that no tools are required, which is nothing short of a big fat lie. I mean sure, you *could* put it together with no tools, so long as you don't mind your fire burning on top of a wobbly cart. I, for one, am not entirely comfortable with that. I'm not even that excited by the idea of fire and propane together in one combustible situation but it makes food taste good, so I overlook this concern.
Anyway, I am a strong, stubborn, single woman who has lived on her own for a number of years and I figure if I can put a mini trampoline together by myself (go ahead, try and pry open a giant trap that snaps shut, all by your lonesome) I can put a silly barbeque together. Piece of cake.
I hit a few snags along the way but I got it together. Occasionally my frustration would cause me to have to take a little time out (from my swearing and cursing), so then I would take some time to clean the windows. I want to be able to see my new greenhouse and barbeque through clean windows, afterall. In the end I triumphed with a little help from dad.... got him to hook up the tank. Like I said... I don't like propane.
Somewhere in the midst of this I got a slight sunburn on my face. Hunh?? When was that? When I walked from my car to Comb Repo to buy the barbeque? When I was cleaning windows with my back to the sun??
Honestly, I have no idea. Best be more careful... seems summer is here!
And to all those who sent love and support for my grandma..... big big thanks! She's feeling better and is pleased to have visitors aplenty. She still needs to take it slow but she is on the mend. Updates will come as needed.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!