Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I grieve, therefore I am
The funeral yesterday was surreal on so many levels. The sheer number of people was unbelievable as people lined up around the block to file into the synagogue. Eventually it became standing room only, with some people not even fitting inside the synagogue. While I stood in line to go in I noticed a cameraman across the street filming everyone. I found myself suddenly angry that the press would dare film this private and painful moment, and I had a moment of understanding for all those who have had to grieve in the glaring light of the press and public eye after a tragic event involving a loved one. Later I would see the footage of the funeral on the 6 o'clock news and get even more angry as I saw close-ups of relatives hugging and sobbing, again making me rage at the intrusion of it all.

What can I say about the funeral? It was sad and moving as we all came together to remember a wonderful woman taken from us too soon. It was heart wrenching to hear person after person get up to say a few words. I was amazed that Aviva's brother and sister, Aaron and Jen, had the strength to even speak. I'm not so sure I could have.

After the service I gathered with my classmates and teacher from my Hebrew class; we spoke of the tragedy and of our other classmate Mark. He was one of Aviva's closest friends and was also her business partner. He had talked to our teacher earlier and said he will not be returning to our class in September. While we all understood how difficult it would be to attend the class without her (since they always came together), my teacher wisely told him to wait and see how he feels next month, and reminded him that Aviva would have wanted him to continue with his studies. I sincerely hope he does, his absence would only add to the loss.
And we all also decided to postpone the Shabat dinner we had planned for this Friday.....our hearts just weren't in it. We all need a little time to heal first.

I notice there are still lots of people finding their way to my blog by typing Aviva's name into search engines; it would be nice if you said hi and maybe how you knew her. Don't be a stranger just lurking in the shadows! Say hello!