Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Not that anyone cares, but I made a really good dinner for myself last night. This is particularly noteworthy because I have been historically very lazy about bothering to make myself a decent meal while alone. I love cooking if there is someone else to share it with, but when it's just me.. I lack the enthusiasm. I need to be more like my grandma. She makes herself some of the most amazing meals and takes the time to sit down and truly enjoy it. She'll make a little roast beef just for herself, and even have all the fixin's and salad and everything. Often a little dessert too. That woman knows how to take care of herself.

This meal was also a victory for me as I had been deeply struggling with my recent love affair with the Big Mac. I know, disgusting right? 560 calories!! I can't explain it, but as of late I can't help but crave a nasty greasy Big Mac. That special sauce.... it calls to me. I am reviled by my own lust for such a repulsive food but I am driven to eat them nonetheless. I am normally very anti-McDonald's and will avoid eating there at all costs but like a moth to a flame I am urged to eat them against my better judgment. And believe me, having worked at McDee's when I was 14 I have a healthy understanding of just how gross these things are. In fact, I had never even eaten a Big Mac until I was in my mid 20's because I had cooked them when I was younger. Yet here I am struggling with a Mac addiction.

My point is that my super delicious dinner last night was a victory over this super-bizarro need for a Big Mac. This victory was made especially sweet by the fact that I had been talking with someone about eating a Big Mac for an extended period of time while driving home from work, and it was nearly a done deal that I'd be picking one up on the way home. I was literally drooling as I told this person about how bad I wanted one. But! I snatched victory from the jaws of defeat and made up a healthy meal of sole, brussels sprouts, brown basmati rice and asparagus. And it was DAMN good if I do say so myself. I practically licked my plate clean.
celestial blue = 1 Big Mac = 0

In other news I got some amusing mail yesterday. First, I got the census form in the mail from our trusty government. What amused me was the dichotomy on the envelope; in an effort to make it seem fun to join in on this census the government has come up with a catchy marketing line: "Count yourself in!" Sounds fun, right? And what a clever play on words. But then below it, it says: "Complete your questionnaire - it is the law". Yikes! Vaguely threatening, wasn't it? To make it seem even more threatening they didn't use the contraction of "it's the law", they used "it is the law". Just to make sure you understood this wasn't a friendly exchange of info... you are required to do it. Period. Makes me want to lie, to be perfectly honest. Makes me want to admit to holing up 4 illegal immigrants in my apartment, just to see how long it would take them to show up on my doorstep. What could possibly go wrong with that joke??

I also got my new benefits package in the mail. I got a shiny little card along with it that I am not entirely sure what to do with. Do I present this when I buy my medication or pay bills? I have no clue and I doubt my American company has the first clue about our healthcare system up here to even help me out. However, I have been enjoying reading the short novel of a benefit book that came along with my package. My favourite chapter is the one in which they put a pricetag on body parts.

There is a table that outlines what percentage of coverage you get based on what happens to you. Loss of life? 100%. Whew. Loss of one arm or leg? 75%. Loss of four fingers on the same hand? 33 1/3% (I guess if you lose 3 fingers it's not a big deal. You can still pinch). Toes are less important; four toes on one foot only gets you 25% coverage. Now, if you lose the use of BOTH arms or legs you're up to 100% again (same as being dead. says something, doesn't it?). But wait... here's where you can really hit the potluck: quadriplegia, paraplegia, hemiplegia..... 200%!!! Kind of depressing, no?

In another chapter it discusses what is NOT covered. "Self inflicted injuries by firearm or otherwise". So if you're an idiot and shoot yourself in the foot you are SOL. They don't pay out for stupidity. Here's one that made me cock my head: "attempted suicide or suicide while sane or insane". Um... I'm just going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you are contemplating or attempting suicide you aren't altogether sane. Yes, there are dire circumstances in which one might, but it still takes a moment of insanity to overcome your instinct for self preservation.

Moving along, we also have some interesting ones involving flying; you are not covered while "flying in, descending from or being exposed to any hazard related to an aircraft while receiving flying lessons". Rough! Pilots in training are also out of luck. Oh, it also says that you are not covered while "being flown for a parachute jump". Does that mean you are covered for the jump itself? Maybe I'll call and ask.

And finally, I am not covered for "the hostile action of any armed forces, insurrection or participation in a riot or civil commotion". Good thing I don't live in Sudan, isn't it?

Today's lesson: count your blessings and never stop being grateful for all your fingers and toes and where you live. And if the government tells you to count yourself in you probably should. Lying is up to you. *wink*