Saturday, December 06, 2003
reflections
 
This will be the last I talk of this funeral. I don't want to wallow in it any longer.....it's time to close the book and begin the healing. The funeral was more difficult than I expected, and I am most certainly glad it is over. Every time I attend a family funeral I lose yet another piece of myself. I mourn for the person that has left us and for that lost piece that I will never gain back. As I stated, I have a very small family, so each loss hits us hard.
Going to back to my hometown fills me with an odd assortment of feelings, most not altogether good. I am in no hurry to return there for the next funeral.
I would like once again to thank you all for your fabulous words of support. When others let me down this week you were there for me. Your words and sentiments touched me deeply. Thank you very much. Toda Raba.
Let us close this chapter and move on.

In Israeli news, it seems that a Canadian is being held and interrogated in Israel. This Canadian is a Palestinian-born immigrant who had been trained by Hamas in the Gaza strip. His intention was to carry out terrorist attacks in Canada against Jewish and Israeli targets. This has me more than a little concerned. One of the (many) differences between attacking Jews in Canada and attacking Jews in Israel is that we are certainly not prepared for such a thing. We live under this false sense of security believing we won't be a target, that it won't happen here. Oh no? The fact that we are unprepared for such an event makes us a very easy target indeed. It's much harder to protect the second largest country in the world with a population of 30 million than it is a tiny country with a population of 6 million. We cannot implement the same measures Israel does, and this leaves us very vulnerable to an attack. I have a decidely uncomfortable feeling about this situation since Toronto has one of the largest Jewish populations outside of Israel. Our targets are obvious and not at all protected. How do I know I wouldn't be attacked leaving my Hebrew class on a Tueday night?
This has been a very interesting eye opener for Canada....but will anything change? We shall see. Right now there is bickering about mistreatment of this prisoner. I'm trying to muster sympathy......but I'm having a hard time.

Moving on then, I'm trying to find a way to pull myself out of this grumpy mood I'm in. I have had the worst sleep this week, with it really hitting it's climax last night/this morning. I have had nothing but nightmares all night, filling me with great anxiety today. I have to keep telling myself they were only dreams.....
And I have a date tonight. Take note coz this doesn't happen too often. LOL. The lucky chap has been doing his homework and reading this blog all week. I'll test him tonight. }:-) I feel a bit guilty that our first date comes on the tail of a craptacularly bad week for me, and I hope I can pull a good mood off for him. Wouldn't exactly be fair if I was moping, now would it? It's ok, I think this will be just the distraction I need. :-)