Last Halloween I was on top of the world; I had gotten engaged that day and felt ten foot tall and bullet proof. I had the world by the ass, and less than two months later my fiance and I had bought a house and were moving in. I thought my path and my future was set.
This Halloween was spent slugging boxes and moving all my worldly possessions into my new condo. Alone. Much has obviously changed, and I am world's different now than I was even 5 months ago. My heart no longer feels broken by the cheating and lying, just bruised and healing. The crying and sleepless nights have subsided, though I have not gained back the nearly 20 lbs I lost when I stopped eating for almost 2 months. I am in a different dimension from where I was a year ago but a funny thing has happened.... I have found happiness.
Had someone told me even 2 months ago that I would feel happy again this soon I would have told him/her that was simply was impossible. This has been one of the hardest emotional roller coasters I have ever been on, but when I moved into my new home I was reborn. I was so devastated that I had to sell my home because of the breakup of my relationship, but as it turns out, that home was keeping me in a pit of despair that I hadn't even realized I was in. In my new condo I feel energized and positive.... I feel like there are possibilities. A new beginning.
Now the hard work begins. It's time to figure out what it is I need to get things right with myself, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I cannot let one person damage my faith and trust in people, but that is going to take some mental gymnastics to get past. I need to rebuild my health and wellness, as I have not been taking care of my body. Once fit and strong I now feel skinny and weak.... and vulnerable to illness if I'm not careful.
I'm not sure yet how to go about all this. I've started with a nice big delivery of healthy groceries; I am drinking my GreensPlus in the morning (which I swear by) and made an awesome quinoa-vegetable salad for lunch later. The trick with healthy eating is to keep it up... that will be my biggest challenge. I am *very* lucky that the condo I have moved into has a GYM, complete with Nautilus treadmill, reclined stationary bike, elliptical machine and weight machine! So I need to take advantage of it, especially since practically no one in the building uses it. Bonus!!
I also need to start doing things that are better for my soul.... I am admittedly very addicted to tv and internet. It's time to do some reading instead, and today I happened to stumble upon a blog post that named 10 inspirational books.... and as I read it I thought.... don't I have book #7 on the list? The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle? I went over to the cupboard where I had all my books stored and there it was.... my mother had given it to me *ages* ago to read and I never had. Seems coincidence is trying to get my attention, so I am going to sit down after writing this post and unplug for a bit and do some reading. See if we can't stir the mind and soul a little. Have a peek here if you're curious.
What are you doing to change your life for the better?