I Dream, Therefore I Am

love sick

2011-02-28T19:51:00.003-05:00

I don't know how long this "honeymoon" phase of love lasts, but it's going on for quite a while now. No doubt it's quite disgusting to observe, so we do our best to leave our coos, hugs and over-the-top adoration for behind closed doors. And I'm sure some life-cynic will happily squash my joy and say that my marriage will inevitably fade to comfort and routine, but for now, I'm lovin' it. I just got back from a 5 day business trip and it really caused us to be grateful towards each other and re-ignited the fire. We realized what it is to be apart and "lose" the one you love, so we are reconnecting all over again.

And for those nay-sayers.... of course my marriage has ups and downs and we have our squabbles and tiffs too.... but that's all part of the equation and helps maintain the balance. So bully you! I'm in love and I don't care what you haters say! ;-P

the fine line between contemplation and dwelling...

2011-02-15T08:59:00.003-05:00

I find that I dwell on things that are irrational or pointless to dwell upon because it cannot be changed. In a recent conversation with a friend, we have found we do the same. We dwell in fear of "what would happen if" we were to lose our spouses. It's funny how the human brain tends to gravitate towards misery, even when it's happy.

I'm happy right now... the happiest I've ever been. I just got married on New Year's Eve and I have never been so content. Except that I am now waiting for the proverbial "other shoe to drop". It's like... I'm expecting something bad to happen because I have finally, after 36 years, found happiness. I know I deserve it, it's nothing like that.... I don't know how to describe it, other than a fear of losing what I have now that I finally have it.

I experienced a hard loss in the family recently and I had such deep empathy for the wife. I imagined it being me and wondered what would happen if *I* lost my spouse. You think your life is set... you've found "the one" you are going to grow old with and spend the rest of your life loving.. but then fate steps in and robs you of that happiness. And you have no control over it.

So how do we learn to push that fear down? How do we acknowledge that it's always a possibility but don't let it paralyze us from living our lives to it's fullest? It's all well and good to say that we shouldn't dwell on the inevitable, but how do you stop it? How does one learn to live fully in the moment?

Perhaps it's time I get meditation and reflection back into my life.... but not too much reflection!

pondering rebirth

2011-02-08T21:45:00.002-05:00

As I have been contemplating kick starting this blog again... and/or possibly starting another..... I thought about a cousin of mine that used to enjoy reading my blog. I didn't ever give this blog address out to any friends or family, rather, I enjoyed the anonymity of blogging without having to worry about self-editing of my thoughts.

I had created a separate blog for friends and family 5 years ago when I went on a 3 month trip to Israel, and kept this one on the go at the same time. But when I returned from my trip my "friends and family blog" fell by the wayside as I focused on this blog once again. So my cousin (my mother's cousin, I guess.. he's her age) poked around the internet a bit until he found this one and he secretly read it. I started to catch on when my site tracker on both blogs reflected his location, and he did eventually confess to me that he couldn't help it, he just loved to read my blog. He promised he wouldn't ever reveal to anyone what I wrote on here, understanding that I confessed things on here that I didn't to my family. I was flattered that he enjoyed my writing so much and trusted that he would keep mum about what he read, which he did.

So a few days ago I wondered if he was still checking in here once in a while or if I'd have to let him know I dusted it off. And no sooner did I think about him, wondered how he was, and if he'd be happy to read this again, then I got the news that he had passed away. My mother called me on Monday and sobbed that his wife had gone to the bedroom to say good night to him after he went to bed early, and she found that he was gone....

I've been so sad since. He would have liked me carrying this on..... would have enjoyed reading my silly thoughts on world issues and my tales of life and love. I'll miss him and maybe I'll hope he's still reading, somehow.... somewhere....

I'll miss you, cousin Jimmy.
((hugs))

what to do, what to do..

2011-02-04T19:24:00.002-05:00

I'm torn. On one hand, I feel like starting a new blog with a new persona and a completely different focus. On the other hand, the events in Egypt recently make me want to dive back into this blog... which is basically a blog of my personal rambles, peppered with social commentary (often focused on the Middle East).

Can't decide, but feeling the need for blogging again. Got stuff in my head I need to work through and have always found blogging to be good for that......

I believe I've said this before...

2011-02-03T08:52:00.002-05:00

I know I keep saying it, but I'm thinking of dipping my foot back into the blogging pool again. I've always said I started blogging for a reason, and a need at the time, and now my blogging has dwindled as the need dissipated....
But now I feel a new need... but this might require a new blog. I'll to think about it. Maybe I can mesh the concept of this blog and my new direction, but I'm not sure...

the day a Jew was a Muslim

2009-12-10T20:20:00.005-05:00

Ok, so I disappeared for a bit. I have good reason! I have been busy rescuing a pregnant cat just in time for her to have a litter of babies in my home. You can read all about it here. She had them November 25th and that has kept me quite busy, thank you very much.

But let's go back to my last post for a moment, because it was interesting..... my volunteering experience! In a mosque! Yes indeed, I took an old friend up on an offer (see more about the friend in the prior post) and I joined him at his mosque to help feed the masses, by working in a soup kitchen for the day. I even wore a hijab out of respect, and by doing so I gained some insight into the thinking of the Muslim women I worked along side...

First and foremost, it was a wonderful experience. I was very warmly received by everyone and would certainly volunteer there again. I enjoyed myself immensely and welcomed the opportunity to help tear down any misconceptions I may have about Muslims (especially as a Jew). That being said, I was also assumed to be Muslim because of the hijab, and so I saw a candid side to my new Muslim sisters.

At one point in the conversation (while we worked away making sandwiches) one woman was telling another about her job; seems the company she had been working for had recently been taken over by another company, and at that point all the employees were asked if they wished to stay or wanted to be packaged/bought out. So far so good, right? Then she said to her friend that naturally she took the package because she didn't want to work for a Jewish company.

I'm pretty sure my spine stiffened up as I felt the remark tweak me in a weird way. I wouldn't say I was angry.... so much as curious. What would happen if she did work for a "Jewish company"? Did she think she would get 'ripped off' by the Jews, somehow? Did she not like what values said company might have? Did she really dislike Jews THAT much?? I was confused by this statement but decided to simply be an observer to what was going on; I didn't feel like it was my place to start a debate, nor did I particularly care to engage in one. I just found it interesting. She said it so matter-of-fact-ly.... not even with a tone of hate or venom. It just sounded like.... naturally she wouldn't want to work for Jews! Duh!

Then came the time for us all to gather as the homeless and hungry began filing into the hall for their free meal; it was sort of a pep talk and small prayer to Allah all rolled into one. It was interesting to note that the majority of people coming into the mosque to eat were not, in fact, Muslim at all. Causasian... Chinese... all races came through the doors, though mostly Chinese. And one of the young girls (about 13 yrs old) turned to me as these people went by and the dialogue went a little like this:

girl: "Why are the Chinese people here?"
me: "Because they're hungry."
girl: "We'll feed them even though they're not Muslim??"
me: "Yes. I believe the point here today is for you to learn love and tolerance for all races/religions."

And that was the part that struck me as odd about the whole experience; here were these wonderfully giving people.... here to do right by their God and serve humanity..... but they often seemed to be missing the point. It completely baffled me! Work for Jews and feed the Chinese?? Unthinkable!

Like I said, it was a learning experience and I will more than likely do it again. It has enriched my life and outlook and I'm sure there's work to be done still on my own perceptions. At least we were all there for the same reason, and on that day, people didn't have to go hungry.

Before I go, let me share one other interesting thing....
A few days after volunteering at the mosque I was driving around when I accidentally picked up someone else's iPod broadcast on my radio (it can happen when you have it tuned to a certain "blank" station and don't have your own iPod playing.... you hear what someone else is playing if they are driving near you). And what I heard was this song.... and I thought it was really quite catchy and I enjoyed it... and it reminded me of my volunteering time.

paying it forward

2009-11-19T06:51:00.003-05:00

A very odd thing is happening to me.... not only am I becoming the happiest I can ever really recall being (thanks to a lifetime of depression) but I seem to have a compulsion recently to.... volunteer. It's just weird.

Ok, volunteering in of itself is not weird. I believe it's a very noble cause and I have always admired those who did. But for me it's weird. I think the only real volunteering I did was in Israel in 2005, where we did some painting, worked a soup kitchen, and I helped at an animal shelter (where I cried and cried because strays are treated with such terrible disregard in Israel). I am admittedly lazy and selfish when it comes to volunteering coz I want my free time to myself to laze about.

But last week I volunteered to take in an abandoned pregnant cat, named Blossom. It defies all logic as I have neither the space nor finances to do so, but I couldn't turn away from the fact that this cat was facing the prospect of raising her babies in a Home Depot. So I took her in and now I'm awaiting the birth of her babies, after which I shall endeavour to find homes for her kittens (won't be difficult) and for her (much more difficult).

And then in my ridiculously happy mood I decided to finally follow up on a promise I made over a year ago to volunteer in a soup kitchen. Not weird right? Now what if I said it was in a mosque? This all came about when I befriended an associate in a Home Depot who was very happy to meet me, especially upon finding out that he knew my brother from when he was a rep like me, travelling and visiting Depots. Whenever I visited this store my new Muslim friend and I would get into fascinating political and spiritual conversations, as only a Jew and a Muslim can. It was a wonderfully open dialogue and a real effort to bridge the gap created by world politics and fanatics making a mess out of things. We asked genuine questions of each and sought real understanding. I *loved* visiting that store if for no other reason than to see my friend.

He has since moved up in the Depot world and no longer works in a store, but in the head office. So I no longer get to speak with him like I used to, but we have made an effort to email each other once in a while. I decided this week that I am finally in a place where I am ready to give back. I have had one of the very worst years of my life and am happy to say that I am coming out the other side of it. And I am better for it.

I'm ready to lend a hand and help others who are still in that dark tunnel. And if working in a soup kitchen this Saturday in a mosque does that, then great. If I happen to learn and gain something from the experience, all the better. I just know that I am looking to practice gratitude for what I have and stop looking at what I don't have or have lost.
The glass, as they say, is half full.

people search for the damnedest things... and find ME!

2009-11-11T08:06:00.002-05:00

I'd just like to give a shout to the individual who searched for "manurses wild gets eaten" and somehow, by the magic of Google, found me. And to think there were only two hits for that search, and I was the FIRST! What luck!

A second shout out goes to @fatlos4dummies for givin' me props/a mention on her Twitter page! Not sure how you found me, but thanks and welcome!

If friends were flowers, I'd pick you.

2009-11-10T22:10:00.003-05:00

A funny thing is happening in my life right now..... I'm making some really awesome friends. And there are few reasons why I find this interesting (probably more interesting than you will find it, but I'll do my best to weave this into an interesting story for you...)

Firstly, I have lost a couple of good friends this past few months. That is to say, I know more or less where they are, but for one reason or another they have exited from my life. I find this tends to happen when I hit life changing rough patches in my life; the last time this happened was in 2005. I ended up moving to Israel for 3 months while I sorted myself out. I had this epiphany that there were people in my life that didn't deserve my time and there were those that did and I wasn't giving nearly enough of it to. I examined my friendships, took note of the ones that gave back and the ones that didn't and weeded them out accordingly. For the most part it wasn't hard; the ones I let go were the ones in which *I* had to always make the effort to see them, so all I had to do was stop calling and trying to make plans to see them and it more or less took care of itself. I found this culling of the herd freed my time up to give it to those I really cared about and who really mattered in my life. I also found that ridding myself of energy vampires relieved me of a lot of stress and took a great weight off my shoulders.

Anyway, I accept that this is natural process in life and that it will happen many times over the course of my life. I have friends I have known for 25+ years and I have friends that I have only known a few weeks or months, and then they exited. People come and go in your life, and often leave when you have learned whatever it was that you were supposed to learn from them. I also find that you really do truly find out who your friends are in times of crisis, as I had been over the summer and fall. I just had one of my best friends of 15 or more years, walk away over a misunderstanding on Facebook. FACEBOOK, people! More than anything I think I was just shocked and hurt that a friendship that could last that long was taken down by something so silly as Facebook. I guess it wasn't the friendship I thought it was. And frankly, the timing couldn't have been worse as my stress level was just maxing out as I was closing up the sale of my house, fighting with my ex over finances (which will now go to court) and trying to get ready to move to a new home. I needed that friend's support at that point more than ever but somehow the friendship failed. *sigh*

Ok, I'm digressing. My second point on why this is so fascinating (that I'm making some awesome friends right now), is because it just isn't easy to make friends as an adult. When you're kids in a sandbox or in school, it's easy making friends. But outside of maybe work.... how do adults make friends? And it can be a very awkward thing...

Take my job for example. I am a sales rep, going in and out of Home Depot and Lowe's stores all day. I see the same people every 2 weeks or so and I get to know them very well. I know the names of their husbands, wives, kids... I know what medical tests they are having done.... what pets they have.... the whole thing. And they get to know me too. It's part of my job, but it's also part of my personality. I like my job because I have friends in pretty much every store (and I have 30 stores).

Then one day I was having lunch with one of these store associates and we were really hitting it off. During the course of the conversation she said she would really love for me to meet her husband and kids one day... and I said sure, that would be nice... in that "one day we will" kind of way. She then suggested that we do it that day after work, and I thought.... why not? Here is an opportunity to make a new friend and she is a really cool cat.... so why the heck not? But I gotta tell ya, it's sometimes weird taking it to the next level of friendship... outside of work. Now, I have successfully done this with one or two others before, but it's still weird seeing people outside a work environment. But how else do you make friends as an adult? As a point, I was also kinda employing the "Yes Man" philosophy at that point in my life and was forcing myself to say yes to opportunities I would normally say no to in order to open myself up to more socialization and experiences. As it turns out I had a great time with her family and I can happily add another fabulous friend to my roster. I can tell her anything and I know I have a good friend that I can fully trust. I love it!

And now I have two new friends that I am really enjoying. Both I met online, though one lives in Texas and is too far away to meet in person.... but I have a feeling we'll finally meet one day. And the other is another kindred spirit going through a similar rough patch recently as myself and so we understand each other quite well. We are both slow to warm up to people as we have recently had our trust put in a blender and shredded to bits. Trust comes slow to us both now, but since we're in the same boat, we understand and are patient with each other. It's awesome. I like watching the friendship slowly bloom as we take our time getting to know each other and to build the trust.

So there. I am makin' some new friends and it's making me very happy right now. How do YOU make new friends?

P.S.
Will someone who is smarter than me please tell me how to fix my layout so that the damn bullets on the sidebar don't come poking into the main column of my blog? It drives me nuts and I have tried desperately to fix it, but html just isn't my strong suit. Where's My Big Gay Daddy?? You're smart like that!!

healing, from the inside out....

2009-11-08T10:31:00.004-05:00

What a difference a year makes......

Last Halloween I was on top of the world; I had gotten engaged that day and felt ten foot tall and bullet proof. I had the world by the ass, and less than two months later my fiance and I had bought a house and were moving in. I thought my path and my future was set.

This Halloween was spent slugging boxes and moving all my worldly possessions into my new condo. Alone. Much has obviously changed, and I am world's different now than I was even 5 months ago. My heart no longer feels broken by the cheating and lying, just bruised and healing. The crying and sleepless nights have subsided, though I have not gained back the nearly 20 lbs I lost when I stopped eating for almost 2 months. I am in a different dimension from where I was a year ago but a funny thing has happened.... I have found happiness.

Had someone told me even 2 months ago that I would feel happy again this soon I would have told him/her that was simply was impossible. This has been one of the hardest emotional roller coasters I have ever been on, but when I moved into my new home I was reborn. I was so devastated that I had to sell my home because of the breakup of my relationship, but as it turns out, that home was keeping me in a pit of despair that I hadn't even realized I was in. In my new condo I feel energized and positive.... I feel like there are possibilities. A new beginning.

Now the hard work begins. It's time to figure out what it is I need to get things right with myself, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I cannot let one person damage my faith and trust in people, but that is going to take some mental gymnastics to get past. I need to rebuild my health and wellness, as I have not been taking care of my body. Once fit and strong I now feel skinny and weak.... and vulnerable to illness if I'm not careful.

I'm not sure yet how to go about all this. I've started with a nice big delivery of healthy groceries; I am drinking my GreensPlus in the morning (which I swear by) and made an awesome quinoa-vegetable salad for lunch later. The trick with healthy eating is to keep it up... that will be my biggest challenge. I am *very* lucky that the condo I have moved into has a GYM, complete with Nautilus treadmill, reclined stationary bike, elliptical machine and weight machine! So I need to take advantage of it, especially since practically no one in the building uses it. Bonus!!

I also need to start doing things that are better for my soul.... I am admittedly very addicted to tv and internet. It's time to do some reading instead, and today I happened to stumble upon a blog post that named 10 inspirational books.... and as I read it I thought.... don't I have book #7 on the list? The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle? I went over to the cupboard where I had all my books stored and there it was.... my mother had given it to me *ages* ago to read and I never had. Seems coincidence is trying to get my attention, so I am going to sit down after writing this post and unplug for a bit and do some reading. See if we can't stir the mind and soul a little. Have a peek here if you're curious.

What are you doing to change your life for the better?

movin' on up

2009-10-18T14:00:00.004-04:00

Oh the joys of packing and moving, especially given that I just did it 10 months ago. I'm trying to be all zen about it and tell myself this is a fantastic new journey and opportunity but it doesn't exactly wash with me as I pack, compartmentalize, tape and label my life in little brown boxes. Nothing like trying to find a way to pack things and mark them in a way that might allow you to crack the code later, allowing you to find that item again under duress.

I have moved countless times in my life.... indeed this with be my 4th time in the last 3 years alone... but it doesn't make it any easier or fun. I am going through a merciless tossing of crap and have rented a dump bin for a week so I may pare my belongings down to a manageable amount. Going from a house down to a condo with no storage will certainly be a challenge. It helps you dig deep and make decisions about what's really important. It's an interesting experience, I highly recommend it.

I have watched my far share of shows that aim to declutter homes and so I am trying to apply what lessons I have gleaned from these programs. I have a box for garbage, a box for recycling, a box for donations, and then what's left gets packed. It's been liberating and terrifying at the same time, lemme tell ya.

But I am a new woman... I have decided to let go of all my VHS tapes. Yeah, you heard me! and I have my first Blu Ray disc! Bring on the new home!!

A prize for peace?

2009-10-14T08:32:00.004-04:00

Alright, I have to say it. I'm a little surprised by Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize. Hell, even HE was surprised, which says a lot. Was anyone NOT surprised? I mean, I'm a fan of the guy but even I have to question just what it was he did to earn that already...... hmmm... I could make all kinds of racial speculations, but I think the media has already done a bang up job of that. I'm just going to wait and see him earn that title now..... it's like reverse engineering.

So this morning I laid in bed and watched a documentary call Outrage. It's about the hypocrisy of American politicians who are (closeted) gay but actively campaign against gay rights. It was very interesting and sad all at the same time. It is simply amazing how many people in office are gay and feel the need to hide it (because let's face it, America is a very homophobe nation). I think the most telling comment came at the end when it was said: "If everyone who was in the closet came out.... this movement would be over. This fight would be over". Indeed, if all of the gay politicians came out and spoke up (because there are a great many of them).... who knows what change they could bring. Then again... they'd have to wait until they are in office before coming out... because in America, it's damn hard to get elected if you are gay. It's a sad and frustrating reality.... and I wonder..... will America one day look back on gay rights the same way we look back on woman's rights and the rights of blacks?

O'Reilly

2009-10-12T08:41:00.004-04:00

This man makes me nuts, he really does. Apparently he makes other people crazy too.

dusting off the old blog..

2009-10-12T08:33:00.003-04:00

My oh my..... what a difference a year can make. *sigh* My life was at the top of the roller coaster this time last year... hands in the air, screaming for joy.... and now I am at the bottom. Life is like that, and I guess that's why I find myself blogging again. I always said that my blog had petered off because it had served it's purpose.. I blogged during a time in my life when I felt the need to share and read other blogs to gain some understanding on perspective on certain topics or aspects of life. Now it is my need to wrap my head around my own life that draws me back...

Last year I had the world by the ass... a new fiance.. just bought my first home... all seemed finally right in my life. At 34 it felt like I had finally found what I was looking for. Ah but it was not to be.. and ten months later I have sold my home and I am packing up and moving to a new home to start all over again. A fresh start on my own..... I'm trying to be as positive as I can.

As I start to rebuild I look back to find the things that have served me well in the past... things that helped me heal my hurts before. And here I am, writing in a blog that most have forgotten about and likely no one is even reading anymore. That's ok... it gives me time to get back in the swing of things and to get my chops back.

To those who have somehow come back to find me here... thanks. I'll see if I can't find a reason to have to come back again... ;-)

GOBAMA

2008-11-05T21:46:00.003-05:00

Alright, I'm not gonna lie...... I was beyond thrilled that Obama was elected. I dare say I even choked back a tear, I was so happy. And at the risk of getting cursed at, it renewed my very deteriorated faith in Americans. Canada is happy and the world is pretty happy. Did you see the world wide celebrations going on??

Hell, I'm going to go against all political correctness and I'm going to just say what's on my mind; I honestly never in a million years thought Americans would vote in a black (I'm sorry, African-American) president (let ALONE one with a name like Barack Hussein Obama!). I just never thought that bible-belt America, or the deep south, could get past their racist tendencies. And yes, I am well aware that not *everyone* in those areas is racist, but they certainly have histories for being so.

So let me just say congratulations, America. I am impressed and I am proud.

And for those who voted McCain and are railing on about how Obama is going to drive the economy into the ground..... well, I think Bush has already done that. Give your new president as much support as you gave your last, and keep an open mind. The time for change has come, and you have voted accordingly.

the best Halloween EVER!

2008-11-02T18:58:00.004-05:00

I've never been big on Halloween..... until now.
Ladies and Gentlemen..... I am engaged.
GLEE!!!

All I can say is.... thank god I live in Canada.
*wink*

blame the Jews!

2008-10-30T12:04:00.001-04:00

this is too funny not to pass along.

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

technical help please!

2008-10-27T11:58:00.002-04:00

Alright, so I was one of those fools who.. back in tha day... thought it would be better to have separate archive pages instead of a list of months in my sidebar. Now I get an error when I click on my archive pages coz things have moved around so much over the years thanks to Blogger, and I have no idea how to fix that on a custom template. Anyone out there clever enough to tell me how to fix it? Pretty please?

a piece of cheese made me nibble and finally bite

2008-10-27T10:57:00.009-04:00

I really wasn't sure if I was going to bother writing again or not; I'm sure my audience has dwindled away (can't blame ya!) and crazy things have kept me away, including time in and out of the hospital. Not exactly good times, but it's all character building, right?

Something interesting has drawn me back, actually; an email from someone who happened upon my blog, and after reading it some, had written to me to share his views. Now, if you cruise my last few entries you will see that I often attract religious fanatics that need to express their views in an often offensive and in-your-face manner. I accept what comes, as it is part of what is to be expected when you put yourself out there, and especially when you declare yourself an Israel lovin' Jew. From time to time this has caused "a lively debate" ;-)

In this recent email however, my interest has been piqued, for the gentleman writing (a) used his name and didn't hide behind the cowardly "anonymous" title that so many do, and (b) though his religious beliefs are strong and expressed in the email, they are genuine, inoffensive and even insightful. I was surprised to see that this fellow even went so far as to "overlook" my 'habits and tattoos', which is always appreciated. Thankfully I'll be okay if I just repent.

But I digress.
His email actually came at a very timely point in my life, you see; his email discusses my dreams (I have a dream blog as well, that he had read a bit of, though I have not kept up with) and lately my dreams have come back with a vengeance and more vividly than ever. In the past my dreams often kept me up at night, had me dreading going to bed, or fearing for events that may unfold. Sometimes they were foreboding, sometimes they were violent, sometimes they told of things to come, and sometimes they were lucid. When I had gone too long without sleep I often had a hard time sorting out what I had dreamt and what had really happened. Wacky stuff, I highly recommend avoiding it by doing what you need to in order to get sleep.

But I have digressed again!
My point is, while this chap does indeed have some underlying motive for writing (including a link to his blog, though the link doesn't work) he has sparked at least an interest in me to get back to writing here again. I began this blog long ago and it has seen me travel to Israel and back 3 times, fall in and out of love, and struggle with life and all it's obstacles. I wondered if perhaps it served it's purpose, but perhaps one's need to write and share such things ebbs and tides; right now I am in love again, in the midst of buying my first home and planning for my future. Is that interesting enough to write about? Or shall I rekindle my old roots in which I wrote about Israel, with all her politics, up and downs, and religious dichotomy? Perhaps a little from column A, a little column B....

I'm going to rekindle my dream blog again as well. I might as well write about what's been keeping me up for the past month or so. Perhaps my new friend can offer his interpretations, and maybe you will see fit to do so as well. While I may not agree with all of my new friend's views I always welcome debate, insight and friendly sharing of ideas, thoughts and beliefs. It's how we best learn and grow from each other.

With his permission, I may put up the email he wrote me, a little later. Check back.

UPDATE: here's the email.. take from it what you will, but keep an open mind. Disagree or agree, however you feel compelled, but keep it fair. Keep the conversation intelligent and know that slandering or defamation of *anyone's* religion will not be tolerated.

Dear Celestial,

I just read your post about your very vivid dreams. I was taken back by your last post about your walking through blood and the blood running down from the mountain. Celestial what you are seeing is a dream from God. Scripture teaches that two huge future battles will be waged in northern Israel in the near future. One battle in Megetto, northern Israel, it is prophesied that the blood will run like a river as high as the horses bridle.

The nation of Israel will be going through a time of trouble like nothing in the past or will be in the future. I haven’t written any posts in my blog about these battles but I will in the near future. My blog url is JIPT.blogger.com.

Celestial, God is calling you to be closer to him. Often times God called many of the great prophets by dreams and visions. The very fact that you are questioning your Jewish heritage and viewpoints is a strong indication of Gods call on your life. Contrary to popular belief we don’t get good enough and then God uses us. God takes us were we are and transforms our lives from the inside out. I don’t question your habits or your tattoos; God doesn’t look on the outside he looks on your heart. He has put a desire for himself on your heart. Being a nice Jewish girl as the other posts say is like somehow you have a code of life to live up to, and it just won’t cut it. Nobody can be perfect before God. God knew you and formed you before you were born. God loves you. God gave you those dreams to get you questioning what was real and what was not in the world. Without your dreams there would be no way that we would be having this conversation.

In the last month God has called me to reach out to the Jewish people and tell them to repent before him. I didn’t know any Jewish people, I worked for a Jew when I was a kid but that was it. I wrote some posts in blogger.com and I came across your blog.

For the last 32 years I have been studying scriptural prophecy, what the word of God says about the future to come.

What I like about you Celestial is that you write God not G..od or G-d. God says we can come boldly before his throne of grace. I am going to ask God to give you more dreams, pleasant dreams about him. From your ATM dream you have a good understanding of right and wrong, good and bad influence. You somewhat understand the working of the devil. You need to say to the Lord, I hear you Lord and I want to follow you. In your speaking to God ask him to forgive you of your sins. He will forgive you of every sin that you have committed in the past and every sin that you will commit in the future, what a bargain.

I will send you a new url that will give you more answers. I will also e-mail you future posts that you may enjoy reading. If you don’t want me to send this material just e-mail and ask that I stop sending it.

Celestial the land of Israel has a very exciting future. I am excited for your love for Israel and its people. God’s word says that Israel will be the head of all nations and not the tale. Israel will be a land of peace and prosperity, The Jewish people will take their proper position of honest leadership throughout the world. You may say, that will be the day. God is re-gathering his people and it is no wonder that you are one of them.

You have a gift in your writing even if it is edgy you tell it from your heart, keep it up.

I will be praying for you, and I will be asking God to make himself real to you in your everyday life. Be sure to watch for him doing miracles in your life.

glutton for punishment? Oh yes I am!

2008-07-21T08:55:00.005-04:00

Many a Jew believes that if you are tattooed you cannot be buried in a Jewish cemetery. This is one of those exciting myths passed down by Rabbis and Jewish moms alike. That's why it was interesting when a friend sent me an article that debates and dispels this very myth...

This should make for a lively debate if certain parties are still milling around my blog...
Here's the article: "For Some Jews, It Only Sounds Like ‘Taboo’"

"But the edict isn’t true. The eight rabbinical scholars interviewed for this article, from institutions like the Jewish Theological Seminary and Yeshiva University, said it’s an urban legend, most likely started because a specific cemetery had a policy against tattoos. Jewish parents and grandparents picked up on it and over time, their distaste for tattoos was presented as scriptural doctrine."

UPDATE: found another great article dispelling the myth, here.

too easy...

2008-07-16T08:26:00.003-04:00

Today's pick has already presented itself to me... and so I give to you the ridiculous CNN.com headline of the day:

"Pope meets koala, texts pilgrims"

That's right folks, CNN.com felt that little gem belonged in the top ten headlines this morning, right next to actual relevant headlines such as "US Marine dies from injuries in Iraq" and.. er... "Dozens of catfish 'walk' on street". If you feel particularly moved by the catfish headline, you may go ahead and buy your t-shirt here.

moving right along...

2008-07-16T00:12:00.007-04:00

Anyone else interested in flogging a dead horse with an unwelcome and self righteous guest who has scary and narrow minded points view? No? Let's move on then, shall we?

I'd like to start a new feature that I have had rolling around in my head for a long long time now. Until I think of a catchier title for it, it'll be known as the "ridiculous CNN.com headline of the day". You see..... I spend a lot of time on various news websites throughout the day and CNN.com offers me an often amusing point of view. It's amusing in that, I enjoy seeing what the folks at CNN consider important news.... important enough to make their headlines at the top/front of their page. If you don't know what I'm referencing, go have a look. We'll wait here.

Ok, so when you go to the webpage you will see the "big" headline of the moment, accompanied by a picture. Then to the right you will see another list of headlines that they deem important enough to make the top 20.... and this is generally where I start to have a good laugh. Allow me to cite an example.

"Cerebral palsy boy mows lawns"

Now before any of you go off on me, I am not laughing AT the boy and his condition (or that fact that he mows lawns in said condition) but I am questioning how this was a headline. Unquestionably, it's a heartwarming story about a boy who is doing things against all odds, but REALLY? A headline?? Why not scroll down and put it in your "Health" or "Living" section?

But here is where I really have to question CNN and their taste; do you not find it just a little bit disturbing that you actually SELL T-SHIRTS with that headline on it?? Has anyone seen this? If you go look at that top 20 list of headlines there are a special chosen few that have a little t-shirt icon next to them that indicates you can actually buy a t-shirt, that in this case says "Cerebral Palsy boy mows lawns" * I just saw it on CNN.com -7:24pm 07.12.2008"

I kid you not, folks.

It'll go nicely with my "Man sticks finger in big cat cage" t-shirt, don't you think?
Am I the only one who finds this crazy and tasteless?? Blecch.

this is a no-judgment zone, thanks very much!

2008-07-05T05:50:00.002-04:00

Sometimes having a blog means putting yourself out there and potentially being in the line of fire. I think all of us realize that. It also means that there are people out there that are going to feel that they have the God-given right to come along and read your blog, think they know who you are, and then lay down some heavy judgment.

Know what I REALLY can't stand? Self righteous people. Know what's worse? Self righteous Jews laying judgment on other Jews. It makes me embarrassed to be a Jew, especially when that self righteous clown posts under the name "anonymous", like a coward.

Below you will see two comments made a few hours ago on my blogs, one on my photo blog and one on a post about my tattoo, both by my new friend Anonymous.

The first was in response to some Pride photos I put up in 2005. The rant is as follows:

Honestly, what is your interest in all this junk pride stuff? You, a Jewish girl?

Haven't you learnt in your very short Jewish education that all these lesbians and homosexuals are losing their life on earth?
Do you want to be part of that and also lose your own life on earth, you a JEWISH girl?
If you have learnt one thing about your Jewishness is that these people are not helping themselves in any way by living the SHAMEFUL lives they live.

I do not know if you are lesbian but, if you are, you are simply losing your life. It leads to nowhere and these lesbian "feelings" are just false associations you put in your mind, usually by seeing videos or pictures of these lesbians and perverting your very fragile mind while watching these lesbian videos.

Instead, plan happiness in your life and think of planning a family and having children one day and this path will lead you to TRUE HAPPINESS.
Finding a man in your life is what will bring true happiness in your life, not "admiring" people who have lost their minds and who want to lose the minds of others like you.

You might find these people very friendly. They sure are, as they are always very keen to have as many people join them in their craziness.
You, the Jewish girl, you deserve better for yourself.

Haven't you learnt in your life so far that these people are losing the very short life they have on earth with all this junk pride stuff?
There is nothing to like or to admire or beautiful about people wearing these crazy, sick outfits? NO PRIDE to have for having lost their minds and have become either homosexual or lesbian?

You deserve better than being attracted to all this shit!! Come, you are a JEWISH GIRL, you should know better. You know deep inside you that these people lose their lives, so why "admire" them and find them "beautiful" when they destroy their lives and want you to join them in their self-destruction.

Conclusion: NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF PARADING IN THESE CRAZY, SICK OUTFITS!!
NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF BEING A LESBIAN OR A "GAY"!! ON THE CONTRARY, THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEIR SICKNESS!
YOU DESERVE BETTER IN YOUR LIFE. TRUE HAPPINESS COMES WITH CHILDREN, THAT WHAT YOU DESERVE FOR YOURSELF IN YOUR VERY SHORT LIFE ON EARTH.

Delete all this junk pride stuff and photograph children and families instead.

I am not here to sermonize you. BUT, wishing you only TRUE happiness, it is my duty to be honest with you, even if you feel that I am too open with you!
I just want you to remember who you are, a Jewish woman, and from where you come from, the Jewish people.
Your past experiences of being a Jewish girl and of belonging to the Jewish people might not have always been great but always remember to differentiate between people claiming to represent Judaism and anything Jewish and the values transmitted by the Tanach.

Take care of you. And G.od bless you and show you the TRUE PATH toward happiness in your life: children. Children brings deep, lasting happiness and, through children, you can claim true pride.
G.od be with you and guide you. Take care.

The second is from the prior post, about my tattoo:

Tattoos, you the Jewish girl? You really have money to waste really!
And many feel sorry later on to have had these tattoos in the first place!!

Come on, use your mind, do NOT let you convince that a tattoo is what you need because, the truth is, you do NOT need a tattoo, you the Jewish girl!

I believe you are in contact with the wrong friends to be influenced in such a bad way to have tattoo, to be fascinated by the pride march junk and so on.

Stop having these contacts and introspect deep into your SELF instead of imitating friends whose influences are no good to you!

Honestly, I don't even know where to begin to comment. Then again, I don't think this even really deserves a comment. I don't know what kind of a Jew YOU are "Anonymous" but I am an open minded and loving Jew who believes everyone in this world deserves love and I shall pass no judgments for how someone chooses to pursue that happiness. What kind of Jewish education did YOU receive that you have been taught such venomous hate and judgment?

It must be a very scary world you live in and I feel terribly sorry for you. I hope one day you find happiness within yourself and don't have to seek it from a man or children in order to achieve it. In fact.. and this may be hard for you to believe..... but at this point in my life, this VERY point..... I have never been happier. And that is the truth.

Imagine that.

The Happening, The Incredible Hulk and The Ink

2008-06-15T22:05:00.020-04:00

So I saw two movies on Friday and one on Saturday.

First I saw The Happening. Really, don't even get me started. In fact, I just read THE most brilliant review for it ever here. Go read it, but only if you have no intentions of seeing it because the review is chock full of spoilers. It's hilarious and made me realize even *more* just how absurd the movie concept was. Trust me.. at best, it's a rental. Don't waste your time in the theatres if you insist on wasting it at all.

However, the Incredible Hulk more than made up for my disappointment over The Happening. I went in with very low expectations (if you saw the Hulk movie in 2003 you'll know why) but was very pleasantly surprised by this new one. Great writing, decent special effects (I don't think there will ever be a computer generated Hulk I will be completely satisfied with) and just a well thought out movie. And a tie-in to the Iron Man movie! Awesome!!! Go see it, it was a great film and needs to be seen on the big screen. Oh and as an added bonus? It was filmed in Toronto! We locals really enjoyed seeing all the familiar landmarks of the main drag in Toronto during the big final fight scene.

I also saw the second Chronicles of Naria movie... er.... but I have no idea what happened in it. I really wish I had watched the first one over again because I had virtually NO recollection of it and it seriously impaired my enjoyment of the latest sequel. I'm not saying it was good or bad, I just didn't enjoy myself because I couldn't follow along (and it's a children's movie!!).

But enough about all that. There is something infinitely more exciting to discuss. For those who have been following lately, I have been gearing up to get a tattoo on my back sometime in the coming weeks. Today however, I went to a big tattoo convention going on here in Toronto with a couple of my friends and took along a few other tattoos I was interested in getting. I have a tattoo on my right ankle I want to cover up and I had some ideas I wanted to bounce off some tattoo artists there. Before I knew it.... I was gettin' inked! And I LOVE IT!!

Let us not mistaken "I LOVE IT" with "I LOVED GETTING IT!" because I really really did NOT. The guy doing my tattoo (I love you, Perry!) had the genius idea of going over my ankle..... as in that bone that juts out of your ankle with little more than a thin stretch of skin over it. No "meat", as it were. And can I just tell you? My language has *never* been so colourful. Mother*@ker was the word of the day and I called poor Perry that name more times than you could possibly imagine. I did not enjoy the process one iota and after all is said and done my ankle, though beautiful and colourful, is very very swollen.

I also learned some important things about my body and gettings tattoos. First, when a very sensitive spot is inked, repeatedly, it may cause you to twitch for a moment, quite involuntarily. Nothing like jerking your leg around and giving your guy a moving target. At least we soon learned which two spots were the nastiest and we both prepared for the inevitable reaction.

Second, and a much more important lesson, is to EAT before you sit down for a tattoo. It may seem counter-intuitive, but trust me it's not. I hadn't eaten for probably about 5 hours and even on a good day that's bad news for me; I tend to get shaky and nauseous if I don't feed the need and if left long enough I get a migraine.

In this case I indeed left it a little too long because I was so nervous that I didn't really feel hungry... in fact my body skipped almost completely past the shaky stage and went right into the nauseous stage. As Perry was working on the outline and the most painful part over my ankle (insert ridiculous amounts of swearing here) I noticed I was feeling.... not quite right. I lifted my arms and held my hands out and saw that I had the shakes. Uh oh, I thought. Then my head started to swim. I began looking around for one of my two other friends to beg them to get me food, and eventually one did come around to check on me. I told her I needed sugar, pronto, and I didn't care if it was a coke or a chocolate bar, I just needed it quick. Perry stopped the tattoo right away and asked if I was ok. I tried playing it cool and said I was just gettin' the shakes and would be fine as soon as I got the food; meanwhile, I'm checking out the garbage pail beside Perry and thinking... if I had to... I could puke there. But did I really want to do that in front of ALL these people? In front of the 16 yr old kid beside me who is being shockingly cool about getting his first tattoo (and it was BIG)? Not so much.

My friend returned with a muffin and a granola bar, but as she began to hand it to me I turned to her and said: "... I think it's too late..... I think I need to go puke now". Perry stands up immediately and announces he's going to walk with me to the bathroom because it is a long way away and he wants to make sure I get there ok. Once I started walking I realized why he said it... my head wasn't just a bit dizzy.... I was starting to get tunnel vision. Omigod, I thought, I'm going to pass out on the way to the bathroom and cause a scene. Little did I know until later that as I was making my way through the crowd, growing greener around the gills by the second, Perry was behind me motioning to the people ahead to clear the way. Such a sweet guy.

Anyway, by the time I got to the bathroom (after considering every garbage can along the way) and got myself locked into the stall and crouched in front of the toilet... it would not come up. I suppose it was because there was nothing TO bring up, but still. At this point I wanted it to, if nothing else than to give me some relief. But it was not to happen, so I picked myself back up, splashed some water on my face and headed back.

Perry gave me a few minutes to eat my muffin and within 5 mins my colour came back to my face and my stomach settled right down. Duh, I am such an idiot.

Anyway, below are some pictures and a video of my tattoo, before and after (pay particular attention to the one where I'm giving the thumbs up... that was before he started. my mood would shift rapidly after that. LOL!) Click on the images for a bigger size. I LOVE my new tattoo and all the detail and shading, even if my ankle is now swollen to twice it's normal size.

THANK YOU, PERRY!! You rock and you took my abuse and name calling like a trouper. And your work is beautiful; you were SO nice and patient and fabulous to work with. See you next year!!

UPDATE: Got these pics from my friend Phil who was there to document the goodtimes. Go ahead and laugh at my pain, Phil did too.

that's the way, unh hunh unh hunh, I like it!

2008-06-13T10:30:00.005-04:00

Oh look out. I'm in a great mood. It's sunny and beautiful, the scent of potential new love is in the air (come on it's spring! lol), and it's FRIDAY. Not only is it Friday, but it's Friday the 13th, and given that I was born on a Friday the 13th this date tends to hold a special place in my heart.

And so many things around me to make me happy!! Going to see the new Incredible Hulk movie tonight. Then I want to see the new movie The Happening as soon as possible; so help me god if M. Night Shyamalan angers me like he did with The Village I'll kick his ass. That movie looked good, and was, right up until the end. If he does that again I might have to beat my $12 out of him.

And there is a tattoo convention going on here in Toronto this week, all weekend!! Giddy up!! I totally want to go!! Wouldn't be surprised if I walked out with a little work done. Besides that big tatt I want (see prior post if you're just joining) I have an ankle tattoo I would either like fixed up or covered up, and it's small enough that it could be done in an hour or so. We'll see. One tatt at a time. ;-)

And as icing on the cake, a new episode of Battlestar Galactica is on tonight. OH. YEAH!!!! Does it get any better than all this? I think not...

READ A BOOK

2008-06-12T14:44:00.002-04:00

this one is for Angry Chad...

now what??

2008-06-12T11:59:00.004-04:00

Yeah I didn't write again because I was busy pouting. I had a slight.... what should I call it?... falling out with my friend who was going to be doing my tattoo. This lead to some time spent in my cave being miserable because I was really looking forward to my tattoo and I don't like fighting with friends. I have tried to patch things up but I am getting silence on the other end.

I have picked myself up since and found someone else to do the work I want for the pricetag I am trying to keep it at so I'm pretty happy. Still trying to iron out when I will start the tattoo... either June 24/5th or July 7th. I'm trying to let go of my need for instant gratification and remind myself this is a permanent move, so sometimes waiting isn't bad. *pout*

I have made the foolish decision to give my mother the heads up prior to getting the tattoo this time; the last 3 times it was sprung upon her after the fact and the reaction was a range from crying the first time to the last in which she said "Jim! look what your daughter did". I notice I become my father's daughter when I do something my mother doesn't approve of. I also mistakenly thought that 3 tattoos later she would be used to the idea but she didn't seem keen on this one either. I regret telling her as her reaction has been a bit hurtful. I thought the tattoo was beautiful when I showed her the concept picture, she said it wasn't beautiful at all.
Made me sad. :-(

you be the judge..... the image in this post is the basic idea of what I am getting.
Yes it's big, I've heard quite enough of that. I'm well aware, people!
But it's pretty, no? I think so. :-)

Inked

2008-05-27T07:46:00.013-04:00

Oh boy.... it's happening again. That itch that needs to be scratched.....
The need for a tattoo.

It's been a number of years since my last tattoo (sounds like I'm in a confessional...) and frankly I thought I had managed to overcome the desire after only three, but in the last few days I have spent hours on various websites trying to hone my desires down to one concept. I have it down to two ideas and I will work out with my man Travis what we will do in the end. I am beyond excited about it and all going well I might get it on Sunday. Stay tuned on that front, coz this tattoo is gonna be a BIG one.

Having spent hours upon hours on various tattoo sites I can safely say I cannot always account for people's choices. I mean, we often make choices with our tattoos that we might not feel as strongly about later, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to ever tattoo myself with the word "slut" as I saw *repeatedly* on women. I have no idea why they thought that was a good idea.

Here are some other gems I found... be sure to click the pic for a larger image.

Oh HERE'S a beauty!!! Taking two of the most cliched tattoos (the butterfly and the dolphin) and COMBINING them!!! Wow, there are no words for such a monstrosity, let alone one so very large on the girl's back. The only consolation is that she won't have to look at it all the time. She can kinda forget it's there.

This one you should really click on to enjoy the full size... go ahead, I'll wait here. Stunning, isn't it? Sure is! And that's right, you're seeing a chicken dressed up as a nun! And why not, really. It was my first choice for my next tattoo but upon seeing this I didn't want to come across as a copy cat, so.....

A strangely recurring/common theme in the tattoo world is one of the male and female genitals. Disturbingly, they are often mutated into creatures or monsters or.... well... just have a look at this "cockstrich". I'm not sure what I like more about it.... the old school military garb on the guy riding it or the seemingly superfluous cupid with an erect penis flying overhead. I cannot possibly imagine what this person was going for, I really can't.

Perhaps the cockstrich chap is friends with this fella who thinks penises also make beautiful butterflies. Really? Because I gotta tell ya.... a penis is not exactly the most attractive part of a man, no matter how you try to pretty it up. The squirting ejaculation doubling as antenna are a nice touch. Pure class, gentlemen.

Here's one my sister-in-law would appreciate, given that she too is a librarian. This is like some kinda badd-ass rogue librarian.... coz whoever heard of a librarian who gets tattoos?? Kudos to the librarian who goes against social expectation!

Now HERE'S a tattoo I can get behind.... a cereal themed tattoo! I mighta chosen something closer to my heart like Booberry or Frankenberry, but Toucan Sam gets my respect just the same. In fact, hats off the person who loves his cereal so much that it required a tattoo love-profession. Even *I* don't love my cereal that much and anyone who knows me knows I loves my cereal.

And last but not least...... I of course need to give a nod to something in Hebrew. This one has a Matrix feel to it, which gives it bonus points. You can't go wrong combining two loves (unless of course it involves butterflies and dolphins in which case you might need to have your head examined).

Alright, that's it for now. Perhaps I shall entertain you with more again.... this has been an amusing way to start the day. ;-)

drum roll please....

2008-05-21T07:37:00.004-04:00

Ooo, it's very exciting. It's like waiting for your acceptance letters to see which university/college you got into. As I was munching on my delicious bowl of Vanilla Mini Wheats this morning my mother shouted out a mail call; my MRI letter is here. Eek! How exciting! What will the magical date be?? August? September??

Here in Canada such diagnostic procedures may well be free but it means waiting for months on end to get an appointment. I had to wait nearly 2 months just to see the liver specialist who then spoke to me for 10 minutes and set me up with yet more tests months in the future. My ultrasound is in August but I lucked out with my MRI and have an appointment at the end of July. So high is the demand for such appointments that they actually run the machine 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! I guess when it's free people are more willing to go and doctors are more willing to dole out the procedure. *shrug* By the time this is over it will have taken probably about 8 months to get an answer about what this tumour is on my liver. Good thing they don't think it's malignant, but just to be sure......

Anyway, screw all that. Guess what!?!?
I got me a PROMOTION yesterday!! Yay!! Finally better pay and title for what I have already been doing for a year or more now! Woot woot! You may go ahead and call me the senior training and merchandising specialist for eastern Canada. Or senior sales rep, if that's easier. lol!

things I would rather do than my paperwork

2008-05-19T14:52:00.005-04:00

1) play with my cats. feed my cats. snuggle with my cats. take pictures of my cats.

2) go on Facebook and create more flair.

3) break open the fresh box of crayons I got from the dollar store yesterday and draw and/or colour something. Maybe I could finally colour my Cat Castle.

4) play some ridiculous game I just found called Comboll. The music is weirdly hypnotic and I cannot help myself.

5) Stumble Stumble. Stumble. If you have not discovered the joy/addiction of StumbleUpon I advise you to stay away. Far away. Whatever you do, do not TRY IT. You will end up clicking the Stumble button over and over and over again like a rat looking for his reward.... just one more click..... one more... You will lose hours of your life and have no explanation for it. It's best you claim you were abducted by aliens.

6) catch up on shows I've missed or always wanted to watch on Surf The Channel, the world's best website ever.

7) play Titan Quest. Yes I'm a she-geek, shuttup. You know it's hot.

8) ponder my love for peanut butter.

9) read Battlestar Galactica forums and lay my bets on who the final cylon is.

10) make a big bowl of popcorn and a giant glass of Airborne. The lunch of champions! (and those sick with a cold)

11) sing the ole Richie Valens song, Oh Donna, loudly and out of key while tapping my fingers along on my desk.

12) Laugh at stupid people. Repeatedly.

Really, I'd rather do just about anything than my paperwork.

StumbleUpon creepiness

2008-05-18T20:17:00.004-04:00

I just received a message on StumbleUpon that read:

5:08pm Hi,

I would seriously love to buy a pair of your well-worn shoes or boots!

Sincerely,
bootlicker

Dear bootlicker503:

Um.. no.
Thanks, but ew.

sincerely,
celestial blue

back by (semi-)popular demand

2008-05-18T14:16:00.005-04:00

First of all, I commend anyone who has the patience to check back here to see if I've written anything. And thanks to those who raised their hands.

Without further ado, let me catch you up on the last few months....

- I believe I last left off saying I was heading to Atlanta for work. I spent a week in cold rainy weather in sales meetings all day. I'd like to say it was exciting but it really wasn't. Luckily I love the people I work with, so it was fun in that respect. A week later a tornado went through Atlanta and hit the hotel I had stayed in. Did I mention that my one big fear is tornadoes? *gulp*

- After I got back from Atlanta I had all of a few days to pack and move out of my apartment and back in with the parents. It was a nightmare and I am still looking for the box with all my shoes. I finally gave up and just bought new shoes.

So far living with the parents is going quite well and we all get along famously. My cat is happy to have me home and is stuck to me like glue at all times (this very moment included). The plan is to knuckle down and save money for a year to buy my own place. So far so good, I have my credit cards paid off and now I have a line of credit to pay off from my last trip to Israel.

- After getting an ultrasound back in February that showed some kind of tumour on my liver I had been waiting 6 weeks to see the liver specialist (welcome to Canada where it's free if you don't mind waiting a few months!). I finally saw said doctor last week who promptly took 7 vials of blood and told me I will be getting another ultrasound and an MRI to determine whether or not this tumour should be removed (he doesn't think it's malignant, but wants to be sure with the MRI). Lucky me, I get to wait until August.

- In an exciting, if not surreal, set of events.... I was standing in a post office filling out paperwork for a package when suddenly an SUV drove through the front of the store. Yeah you heard me. I just sort of stood there in shock for a moment... and asked the guy who owns the place (he was behind the counter).... "Did that really just happen?" Indeed it did and at that point the fella behind the wheel was now backing out of the store taking half the front of it with him and just missing my car by inches. After a few more frozen moments I walked outside to check on the driver and assess the damage. Eventually 2 fire trucks and an ambulance appeared, and of course, all kinds of cops. I had to stick around for an hour to give my statement and to be the voyeur by taking pictures on my cell phone. It was a crazy, crazy day.

- I'm kinda cooking up another blog..... I'll share when it's ready (probably tomorrow) but want to make sure I start to get back into the rhythm of writing again first. Blogging was much easier when I wasn't on the road so much, and often by the time I get home I just wanna crash. The new blog will be themed, so that should help. Pet lovers will enjoy. ;-)

- work is kicking my butt the last few months, and the last few weeks in particular. I'm hustling for a promotion, so it's all work and no play for this girl. If living with the parents didn't cramp this single girl's lifestyle, working long hours will do it. Dating has become a write off as I have time for little more than work and sleep. I'm a fun girl.

- a special shout-out goes to Mulder in Israel for being persistent enough to keep trying to reach me; you are a better friend than I am. I miss you! And to My Big Gay Daddy who remembered it was my 9 year celebration/birthday yesterday; you were only one of two who remembered. I adore you with all my heart for remembering.

Nu? Was that enough for now? If I think of anything else I shall post again.

gone gone gone, she's been gone so long..

2008-05-16T21:26:00.002-04:00

So I was going to sit down and write out a big post about all that has happened in the last 3 months but then I thought...... is anyone even still coming here?

Raise your hand if you're still here and I will toss a nice fat post on the ole blog.

take off

2008-02-17T09:36:00.002-05:00

Will my flight be cancelled or won't it? I'm about to head off to the airport to find out. It's been an interesting roll of the dice this morning as I got a call from a co-worker who lives up the street from me (and is also heading to this sales meeting in Atlanta today) and her flight has been cancelled. Thank god we're on different airlines. Heh. She's now scrambling and begging the airlines to get on my flight.

Yes, there is a giant storm brewing and I may be on one of the last flights out of Toronto.... keep your fingers crossed, and all going well I will be back home on Thursday. Have a great week everyone!

atypical

2008-02-13T19:22:00.004-05:00

I spent an unspeakable amount of money on clothing and shoes today. I thought that my bank would freeze my card by the last purchase and check with me to make sure it hadn't been stolen by someone going on a spending spree. Yes, I spent *that* much.

This is highly unusual for me in many respects; first of all, I loathe shopping. I am not one of those girls who finds comfort in shopping when she feels the world has wronged her (unless it's buying a new computer, which always brings me joy). I shop like a man, and that is to say, that I shop with a purpose. I'm never one of those girls that likes to check out the stores on a regular basis to see what deals are going on. Nuh-unh, I go in because I need something. Period. And since I hate shopping I try to keep the instances of it to a minimum; that means if I actually find a pair of pants I like (which is NO easy feat, ladies and gentlemen!) I buy the damn things in every colour so that I can hopefully avoid pant-purchasing for at least a couple of years. Yes, I know how that sounds but I really don't care. Fashion is not exactly at the forefront of my mind, and given that I spend my work days traveling to various Home Depots, I don't exactly need to dress to impress.

After trying on pants after pants that I hated (read: hideous low-rise pants meant for scrawny girls of about 16 years old) I finally found pants that would not expose my underwear at the back, and not accentuate my belly flopping over the top at the front. I nearly wept for joy as they had the bonus feature of "stretchy" material embedded in there. I raised my eyes to the heavens and thanked the Gap gods for creating pants that met my needs. I then promptly bought 4 pairs.

I also went into Mexx to buy a sweet little pant suit number for this sales conference I have to go to on Sunday; there's an awards night and I need to dress it up a little. I have learned from awards nights-past that skirts and dresses equal freezing your butt off all night, ultimately ruining any chance of having fun. I am opting for a more comfortable yet fantastically adorable form fitting grey suit. Also picked up a satiny blue blouse to go underneath.... I'm lookin' like a hot mama! Always gotta go with the blue shirts..... brings out those blue peepers of mine and scores me the compliments without fail. Hey, if ya got it, flaunt it!

And to round out my atrocious spending I bought not one, but TWO, pairs of leather shoes.... suitable for business meetings and the like, while also being comfortable. One pair in brown, one in black, to suit all clothing choices. I never spend this much money on shoes, but I felt it was time for some big-girl shoes. Hopefully at this pricetag they will last a hundred years, furthering my goal of not having to shop again anytime soon. Did I mention how much I hate shopping?

I feel very accomplished. I even got the pants in the suit altered today so they fit my short little legs. So many birds with one stone! I am ready to rock the sales conference next week! Woot woot!

On a completely unrelated note, check out the bruise on my knee! I'm not even sure the picture does it justice (click the pic for a larger version) but let me just tell ya..... it HURT. I was leaping over a snow bank when my knee met with a metal pole (intended to secure bikes, if you need to lock it up) and made a stomach-turning *GONG* sound. The fellow I was with at the time had no idea what my problem was, thinking that sound was caused by my steel toed boots (which I was *not* wearing, but have been known to for work). Upon informing him it was actually my knee that struck the pole he realized the velocity with which I made impact and understood why I could barely string 2 words together (that would be the indescribable pain rendering me speechless). All I could do was bend over slightly and focus on not throwing my dinner up all over the streets of Toronto. Ever had a pain so bad you wanted to puke? It's unpleasant, to be sure.

When the pain subsided enough to stand upright again I limped on down the street to that bar where my brother and his band was playing, met up with a few of my friends, and had a great evening. The highlight had to be the drunken chap from England who kept coming over to our table and hanging off my friends while blathering on about everything from soccer to his divorce. Eventually we got the bar staff to remove him from the premises, as he became belligerent from time to time and we wanted no part of that.

Who wants to help me move next weekend? Any takers? Come on... .I'll supply food and drinks! Whatever ya like!

you take the good, you take the bad....

2008-02-12T22:22:00.007-05:00

How do you like my dark sultry look? Oh so brooding.... oh so mysterious. Or grumpy, take your pick. I'm sick for the second time in as many weeks and I'm not altogether happy about it. In fact, I don't think I ever stopped being sick, I think my sinus infection just moved down into my chest. It's such a thrill to be coughing up nasty stuff instead of blowing it out my nose. Here's hoping the antibiotics I'm on will finally kill it. Saw the doctor tonight and she said to give it until Friday and if it was no better she'd put me on something else.

She also had my test results back from the nuclear scan they did on my liver and so far things are looking good, relatively speaking. It looks like the mass is benign but my doctor is still stumped as to what to do from here; should we do a biopsy? should we treat it? how? In other words, she's sending me off to a specialist now to decide what our next step is. *shrug*

Meanwhile I am still riding the high of having better than 20/20 vision (thought I'd put a happier picture of me up to illustrate the fact). Man alive, that laser correction was one of the best things I ever decided to do, and a month later I am still grateful every day for my newfound sight; I still have moments of awe in which I look around in amazement and appreciation for what I have now and what I can see. The world is a different place, and I am happy to see it in whole new way. I once again urge anyone considering it to go for it and do it. If you have any questions drop me a line and I will happily tell you how it went for me.

What else....?
I'm stressing about the next few weeks.... on Sunday I catch a flight to Atlanta for a week long sales meeting. I'd be excited about going somewhere warm (as there is a blizzard clobbering us right now as I type) but it's not like I see much outside of the hotel walls. Apparently we are going to see the world's largest aquarium there which is said to be beautiful, but not sure I'll get a chance to see much else. We shall see.

Anyway, I return on the Thursday and then need to more or less move out that weekend. Did I mention that I haven't started packing? *gulp* I mean, I technically have until noon on Feb 29th to move out, but that's a Friday, and anyone that I might hope to enlist to help move all my stuff will be at work.... so that leaves me the weekend before. And thus the stress. Did I mention I haven't started packing yet?? Arrrrrrghhhhh!!! I'd blame my cold/infection but that doesn't get my boxes packed, so.....

Before I go, can I just tell you how much I love technology? When I was in Israel for 3 months in 2005 my mother was happy that we were able to have webcams on while we typed away in MSN Messenger. She was happy she could see me "live" even if the video images were a little choppy. As she put it, she could at least count all my fingers and toes and see that I was in one piece. But tonight I had my first video call online with my good friend Craig, over in England. Hell, I didn't even know if my webcam HAD a microphone, and not only did it have one, but it worked too! I was thrilled to lay eyes on him for the first time in 2 years and we were able to talk through our webcams with very little lag time, both in audio AND video! No more expensive phone bills! *sigh* It was so great to see him again, and finally Messenger has proven itself to be a useful program on my computer. Linking friends across the globe, ladies and gentleman!

Ok, I leave you now with one last picture...... I took it this morning as the sun was coming up. Beautiful, non? As always, you can click on the picture for a larger image, so you may get the full appreciation..... enjoy!

ummm....... what?

2008-02-06T08:13:00.000-05:00

I saw an ad on tv just now. It was all about illiteracy and how one can only go so far in life without the ability to read and write. Good stuff, I agree that it's important... but then the commercial ends with narrator saying : "when you're ready to take the next step, look under "learn" in the Yellow Pages".

*scratches head*

What now? You want someone who can't read and write to go into the phone book and look up a word? Hey, I have a heck of an idea.... how about providing a phone number instead. You know, some kind of 1-800 number where the person on the other end could perhaps direct the person to help in his/her area.
*shrug*

Anyway, yet another wicked storm goin' on in the Toronto area right now making me none too excited about heading out. I'm going for my liver test this morning, so cross your fingers for me. Nothing like being injected with a little radioactive dye in the morning to kick your day off right!

Baby Mateo

2008-02-05T09:56:00.001-05:00

Ok, so you might not know my bestest friend Princess Blondie and her husband Bruno, but I think you may still find this video interesting. Technology has come a long way and now you can get a look at a baby, in utero, in 3D! It's amazing to watch and I felt privileged to be a part of it, as "Auntie" celestial blue. The baby will be arriving on April 9th and I will be there fighting my way to the front of the line to hold him!

P.S. anyone know why that second picture appears underneath? Blogger is doin' something funky there and I can't figure out why....

Canadian weather at it's best

2008-02-05T08:24:00.000-05:00

What's worse than snow? (see the snow storm from the other day in the post & picture prior)

When I went to bed last night I heard thunder and lightening.... the weather had been warming up. And today I woke up to this.... fog! And lots of it! You'll note in the snow storm picture from the last post that you can actually still see a bit down the street and the flag across the street. Not so much in the fog. Here's hoping it clears up before I hit the road...

5 things

2008-02-03T09:34:00.000-05:00

1) I didn't go to work on Friday, I'll give you three guesses why. 2, if you use the clue on the left there (click for the larger image if it'll help *wink*. that was taken from my balcony). Yikes! This has been the craziest winter in the Toronto area, ever! I know the world thinks Canada is always under a foot of snow, but I'm telling you Toronto doesn't usually get it too bad... uh, until this winter it seems. I'm thinking mother nature is none too happy with what we're doing to the environment and now she's lettin' us have it. Consider us spanked this winter.

2) I am still upset about the news of Heath Ledger dying. I am in full denial and feel complete melancholy for him as if I knew him; I know it's absurd, but his movies made me laugh and cry and all those others emotions an actor hopes to invoke in you with a performance. He had a promising future and I mourn what we will never learn he was fully capable of.

3) Tomorrow I go for my 1 month follow up appointment after my corrective laser eye surgery on Jan 3rd. I am very excited to hear how the healing process is coming along. Once again, to anyone considering it I say GO for it. It's not nearly as scary as you think it will be and it is worth every penny. No more hiding my pretty blue peepers behind glasses! (I have had even MORE compliments on my eyes in the last month, than ever! I think it's because they are smiling now! :-)

4) While I was on "vacation" for a week and a half in January (getting my eyes fixed) I also went and had an ultrasound done. I have been complaining about abdominal pain for the longest time (and I mean years) and with my belly button giving me problems yet again (I had a hernia repaired about 7 years ago) the doctor sent me out for an ultrasound to investigate. A week ago I got a call from the doctor's office that she wanted to speak to me about the results. *gulp* I went in on Thursday and she informed me that there is a "mass of interest" on my liver about 4cm x 4cm x 2cm (1.5" x 1.5" x 1"). That's not exactly tiny and they would like to run all kinds of horrible tests to figure out what it is. Ask me how excited I am about this (not very, would be my answer). Interestingly, I recall someone mentioning seeing it while doing an ultrasound on me just before I got my appendix out, but they didn't seem concerned then, so neither was I. 10 years later it's apparently big enough to be of concern. Great.

I have not told my parents, as my mother would *freak* out (we've only lost most of our family to cancer, so she's pretty paranoid about such things). I'd rather get some answers before I cause her any worries, so we'll see what the first round of tests tell us and hopefully I won't need a biopsy. Keep your fingers crossed for me gang, I'll let you know how it goes.

UPDATE: My mother now knows (she asked about my ultrasound results and I'm not a very good liar) and my appointment for the first round of tests is set: Wed Feb 6, 9:45am (EST). Can hardly wait..... the concept of "nuclear medicine" doesn't sound troubling at all! lol Go ahead, inject me with radioactive fluid, I don't mind!

5) Lastly, it's worth noting that I will be moving out of my beloved apartment of 2 years at the end of the month, and back in with the parents. I have been toying with this idea for quite a while and have decided I am rather tired of paying nearly $1400 a month in rent and would rather be putting that towards a mortgage. So I am going to save up for a while and all going well, I will buy my own place by the end of the year. *fingers crossed* While I absolutely adore my parents and we are very close, it was still hard for me to agree to move back (they have been offering for ages now!). I like my independence and all, and even if there is an endgoal in mind it's still a pride issue for me..... feels like coming home is admitting defeat, or like I have my tail between my legs. I know it's not when I think about it rationally, but still.... I've been on my own a long time. A girl gets used to parading around her home nekkid. *wink*

Anyway, I'm getting excited about the idea now as I begin the process to get pre-approved for a mortgage and start the home search. I decided late last year that 2008 was going to be MY year... thus the eye surgery and my moving home with the parents. I have lofty goals and I intend on reaching them. This is going to be an interesting year......

seeing the world through new eyes

2008-01-16T11:34:00.000-05:00

My what a different world it is indeed....... wow. Who knew there was that much detail in the carpet?? Or how utterly fascinating the stipple on the ceiling is? (ok, maybe only to those who can see after eye surgery to correct his/her vision) Then again, it's less than exciting to be able to see just how filthy my home really is. It could very well turn me into a clean freak.

I went for my second follow up visit after my laser eye surgery and things seem to be going really well. I have been declared to have 20/15 vision, which is better than most people who don't need glasses! Yeeha! My cornea is about 30% healed which is expected after a week. It takes a good 2 - 3 months to fully and properly heal, though I am good to drive and do everything else. Further healing just means fine tuning..... right now I still see a bit of a glow around LCD readings on things like clocks and VCRs. I'm struggling a bit with being able to read properly as my eyes relearn how to see things up close. The biggest difficulty I am still struggling with is dry eyes.... something my doctor promises me will get better after a month (doesn't help that it's winter). I have become quite proficient at administering eyedrops to myself.

Overall I am very happy and find it amusing when I catch myself still looking for my glasses when I plop down on the couch to watch tv or get in the car to drive. I had those glasses for 20 years so it's going to take me a while to get used to the idea I don't need them anymore. If anyone is considering this procedure, I say go for it. It's one of the greatest gifts you could ever give yourself and as scary as the operation may sound to some, it's over with so fast that anyone can do it. There is some pain and discomfort but even that subsides within 6 hours.... it's amazing. I have had a lot of surgeries in my time and that was the easiest recovery I've had, hands down.

Anyway, I went away for the weekend to take my new eyes for a spin somewhere outside my own environment to see what I could see. It was nice and would have been better if only I hadn't come home with a souvenir cold. Ack! My throat is killing me. Nothing like having to rest after nearly 2 weeks of vacation! ;-)

Why I Eyes Ya!

2008-01-08T07:58:00.001-05:00

Yes, that is my bruised and battered right eye. I actually had surgery done on both eyes at the same time but the left eye shows none of the same signs of the operation that the right eye does. Maybe it's because I was told to stop squirming after the first one, so the second one was better (they gave me squeeze/tension balls so I would stop wiggling my feet and legs). Pay no nevermind to those yellow dots, that's just the lights in my room reflected in my eye.

I had the surgery on Friday and Saturday morning when I had my followup I was declared to have better than 20/20 vision. After 20 years, I no longer have to wear glasses! I spent the weekend at my parents place so they could help me in the initial days afterwards, given that there is a whole performance involving several types of drops, 4 times a day. Now I'm a big girl and do them on my own, but after Wednesday I can stop using the drops. I have these ultra sexy clear shields I tape over my eyes at night when I sleep so I don't get some half-witted idea of scratching or rubbing them while snoozing. Even sexier than that are the sunglasses they give me to wear for the first week when I am outside, day or night, no exceptions! (see photo below) Nothing says I think I'm cooler than all you than wearing shades at night. I feel like Roy Orbison.

Anyway, I'll add more tales of the surgery itself in my next post, but now I gotta head out and get an ultrasound done on my ailing belly button. I figure since I'm taking a week off I might as well get as many medical procedures done as possible. I'm a girl who knows how to vacation!

a New Year indeed!

2008-01-04T08:46:00.001-05:00

In a few hours I am going in for a life changing surgery...... I am excited beyond words. I am singing, and dancin' and packing my bag right now; I will be recovering at my parents for a few days and when I can I will tell you all about it.

I wanted to make this my best year ever so I am starting with a big gift to myself. After this I will be seeing the world in a whole new way and I hope it will be the first of many amazing experiences and opportunities for personal growth. This is MY year.

Oh...... and about that last sad post I wrote? There's a new kitten in town.... she came in from the rain as a stray and chose to us to be her family. Her name is Hannah and it has been all love and cuddles since. Isaac is happy to be a brother again.

When pets break our hearts

2007-09-08T13:51:00.000-04:00

Some of you may recall in January that my family was adopting a rescue kitten that we later named Dexter. He was a bit of a wild kitten rescued from a colony of cats, and we knew we had our work cut out for us as he was very shy and timid and skittish around humans. He did, however, fall in love with our other cat, Isaac. It has been many months since then, but Dexter had slowly gotten better and began to acclimate to his new home. He followed his new big brother Isaac wherever he went and both cats benefited from the company of the other.

This morning my mother called me up to tell me she was taking Dexter to the vet, saying something seemed to be seriously wrong. All afternoon the vet has been running tests and taking x-rays and a few moments ago we got the call; he has kidney failure. Why? We don't really know, for he is only a year+ old. My mother and I are devastated and are going ahead with the decision to put him to sleep later this afternoon rather than let him go on any longer.

Perhaps we will one day find our hearts strong enough to bring another baby home, but the loss of two cats in 2 years is about more than we can bear. We will miss Dexter terribly.

what the BLEEP is this!?!?

2007-08-17T14:55:00.000-04:00

taken from : http://imagechan.org/

no brain

2007-08-17T09:01:00.000-04:00

my brain is still locked up. but don't think I have forgotten that I promised a post.

I'm baaaa-ack!

2007-08-12T09:52:00.000-04:00

Well that was a helluva sabbatical, wasn't it? In the meantime I got a new car, new computer, (all of which I cannot afford but work necessitates these things), been on the road for upwards of 9 days straight, to been Ottawa, Montreal and a whole slew of other exciting Canadian destinations that most of you have never heard of. Oh and there were 3 funerals and a wedding in that mix too. My life has been, shall we say, a roller coaster.

I'm wondering where to begin again.....
perhaps I need to ease back into this. what topics shall I cover?
work? (bo-ring)
travel (mostly work related.. boring!)
the new car (really, who cares? I turned in my 2006 Accord and got a 2007)
the new computer (*choke* bought within 3 days of the car. I'm so poor!!)
my belly button (ha! and you thought I had forgotten!)

Alright, gimme time to dream up a new and exciting post.
I'll be back

forget my dumb belly button.. this is worse!

2007-06-20T22:50:00.001-04:00

The motherboard is fried on my computer. This is tragic on so many levels. Losing my computer is like losing a limb.

I think I'm gonna go to my corner for a bit and feel sorry for myself.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

2007-06-12T07:12:00.000-04:00

I'm grumpy. Work is making me grumpy. People are making me grumpy.
For this reason I am only going to write in broken thoughts and random tidbits. Proceed with caution as my grumpiness taints all that I write at the moment. You have been warned! }:-D

- I got carded last night buying a lottery ticket. I did a verbal double take when the guy asked for ID. He mumbled the question and so I said "No. Wait.... what? Yes. Did you just ask if I have ID??". He reminded me that one has to be 18 to buy a ticket. I couldn't speak after that, only laugh as I dug around for my license. I'm sure I'm supposed to be flattered that I am over 30 but look 18 but really it felt more like I was on candid camera, coz you MUST be joking.

- I have had 3 dreams in the last week about planes crashing. This is unnerving for someone who doesn't like flying. I also had dreams about co-workers using rocket launchers, and futuristic orange subways/trains that will turn upside down and sideways to get around buildings and obstacles. I won't bother trying to describe it any further as I won't be able to do the vision justice. Just know that it was damn cool and went up and down the sides of buildings.

- I used to really love Carrie Fisher a lot when I was growing up and wanted to be just like Princess Leia (really, what girl in the 80's didn't want to be?). I was even reading her books when I was like, 11, and they were certainly weren't age-appropriate but who cared coz it was written by Carrie Fucking Fisher!! NOW, however, I can't watch her anymore. She's one of the judges on the new talent reality show called On The Lot and she's so annoying it makes me want to cry. I can't even describe why in any detail without getting all worked up, so just believe me when I say I want to slap her and change the channel.

- Speaking of annoying celebrities, I can't muster even the slightest hint of sympathy for Paris Hilton. Po po rich girl who got caught drinking and driving. And then driving after her license got taken away. Boo hoo. I guess I'd have more sympathy if only a good friend of mine hadn't been killed a few years back by a drunk driver. Toss her in jail and let her stew in her own stupidity. I'm quite sure a measly 45 days won't kill the girl. It'll be character building. And aren't we all looking forward to the inevitable made-for-tv movies and books? I can hardly wait. *sigh*

- on a happier note the grocery store around the corner from me (Sobey's) has dedicated almost an entire aisle to "Jewish" food. In other words, they have moved beyond matza ball soup and have a *wide* variety of Israeli goods! I skipped up and down the aisle with glee as I found all kinds of my favourite Israeli gum and chocolate and snacks. Eeeeek!!! Elite chocolate! Klik snacks! Must gum! JOY!!!!!

- ok here's a link to a bizarre article about some kind of crazy fight in Israel over a guy's pet squirrel. "A Ramat Gan resident was indicted at the Tel Aviv District Court Sunday for arson, after he torched a man's motorbike because the latter failed to give him his squirrel." Man, ya just can't make this stuff up.

- a sad and bizarre article about a teenage girl who died from using too much "sport's cream" (aka: Bengay and the like). She was really into sports and I guess used the product often for sore muscles. Who knew you could die from absorbing too much?? Not me, that's for damn sure.

- here's a fine article about how to subdue an 8 year old. Only an ex-schoolyard bully (or elder sibling) could dream up this sort of torture.

Alright, that's it for now. The next entry will be about my belly button, so stayed tuned. Meanwhile I am leaving tomorrow and will be out of town for days on end. I'll be back Sunday night.

why is it so BRIGHT in here? so LOUD??

2007-05-27T18:01:00.000-04:00

Well, I guess I was due. Two weekends in a row of guests and working non-stop (including nearly a week out of town, in our nation's fine capital of Ottawa) resulted in a nearly 5 day migraine headache. I was some cheesed off that I finally got some of that precious "alone time" that Oprah speaks so highly of, my first weekend off from work and visiting friends in almost 3 weeks, and I spent most of it in bed writhing in pain. Needing sympathy and a mother's touch I crawled my way over to my parents place last night and whimpered and whined while my mother fed me (though food was of little interest) and took care of me. I crawled back home thinking I could sleep it off only to wake up with it yet again this morning. There seemed to be no end in sight. I had tried every trick I knew, and having had migraines since I was 6 years old I'm pretty well versed in handling these things (I've only landed in the hospital once or twice).

Just when I was ready to accept that my weekend was a complete waste I got a call early this morning from my buddy Princess Blondie and her husband wanting me to come out and play. I told them there was no way as all I wanted to do was be somewhere quiet and dark so I could proceed to apply for my death certificate. Before I knew it my old neighbours (we used to live across the hall from each other in my last apartment building) showed up on my doorstep, and Blondie gave me a scalp massage and the most wonderful new pill called Relpax. I had never heard of this medication before but now it's my new best friend. In less than 2 hours my headache was gone and I was on my way to recovering from days of stomach upset and a pounding head (one doesn't get over days of that any too quick). I must go to my doctor and get me some of this fine Relpax (Blondie gave me a sample pack she got from her doc).

Yeeha! Migraine be gone!!!
Now I can get on with more exciting things... like paperwork and expense reports! And preparing for another friend visiting next weekend!

Hope y'all had a good weekend, and to my American readers... have a great Monday off!

off to buy a lottery ticket and a dream...

2007-05-11T12:45:00.000-04:00

... so...... I don't suppose there's anybody out there that's all kinds of rich and wants to buy me a ticket to Israel? No? :-(

I need to get away from things.. from life... for a bit. In the worst possible way.
*sigh*

Shabbat Shalom, y'all.

I am woman, hear me...... swear and curse?

2007-05-06T22:06:00.001-04:00

Ah yes, that's me still smiling after a week that kicked my ass all over the place. I'm telling you, there are moments when I truly believe that I simply *must* be on tv... because whatever's happening to me at that moment just can't be for real. Here be an example...

My job as a sales rep entails working in a "big box" hardware type of store (rhymes with: Comb Repo) wherein I deal with the staff working at said store. Occasionally, however, I am called upon to travel to a customer's home in order to assess whether or not a complaint about my product is valid and what I am going to do to remedy the situation. The rules dictate that I am to travel with one of the store's employees, as I am not about to walk into a stranger's home alone.

On Thursday I was called to one such occasion and so I went to the store, picked up the store employee (who liked to muse that he was only there as a body guard), and headed to the location (in this case, an office in an industrial complex).

I'm going to spare you the long drawn out drama, but let's just say that the gentleman I dealt with believed in speaking at volumes normally reserved for those in the throws of a lover's quarrel. He screamed, he yelled, he basically threw a tantrum. In the midst of his tantrum I informed him that if he didn't calm down just a smidgen I would be leaving the premises; this did not deter him. I then informed him that I was done dealing with him and his rage and that someone in my company would be contacting him. At this point he called up somebody else and handed the phone to me... this would be the gentleman who actually bought my product (the Screamer was the installer). While on the phone (getting yelled at some more, lucky me!) I had to actually plug my ear because Screamer was so loud I couldn't properly hear what I was getting yelled at for on the phone. Screamer was yelling at the store associate, Phone Man was yelling at me. It was a good time all around.

Fast forward to returning to the store, feeling like I had just returned from battle. We are now in the install department of the store recounting our tale for the other staff who had also dealt with Screamer (the one girl warned me... "He's a real prat!"). Meanwhile, all through the screaming, talking to store staff and driving with an associate in my car with me, my mother had been calling repeatedly. I'm not one for rudely answering the phone when I'm in the middle of getting my ass handed to me, so I decided I would call her later. "A quick trip to the little girl's room and then I'll call her", I thought.

As I was leaving the washroom, heading around the corner and dialing my mom's number on my cell phone, I ran into a store associate who knows and loves me; "hey you!" she says as I stop dialing my mom in order to talk to her. We chatted for a bit before a guy (I had never met prior) walked up and interrupted our conversation to talk to the girl about something. The two spoke for a moment and then the guy turned to me and apologized for interrupting. "No problem" says I, at which point the girl introduces the gentleman to me and I realize I need to be nice to him.... he's the department manager for the department I work in. But here's where I am sure that my life is a tv show..

As he turned towards me to say hello during the introduction he takes a second look at me and says: "Wow, you are such a beautiful woman! What are you doing here??"

*blink* *blink blink*

"Uh..... I work here?"
I really didn't know what I was supposed to say to this bizarrely forward comment. I believe I may have blushed, I can't be sure.

"No really! You should be in modelling or marketing or something!"
Marketing? Really? Is that how ya woo a girl?

So awkward was this moment that the girl I was originally talking to decided to extricate herself from the situation and head off to lunch. I gave her that pleading look, but she disregarded me and disappeared. I looked back at the nice guy (with a mustache and strange pencil neck), gave a weak smile, and announced that I needed to head back to the install department. Sufficed to say the chap then followed me like a puppy-dawg all over the damn store asking me all kinds of I'd-like-to-get-to-know-you-better questions. What do you do? What do you do for fun? Do you have a business card? Do you have a cell number? How lucky for me that I have to be extra nice to this guy because my livelihood, in part, rests in his hands. God help me if he starts calling me.

All that crap happened within an hour and by the end I felt like a Mack truck had run over me a few dozen times. I'm sure I'm supposed to be flattered by pencil neck guy's advances, but considering the fact that I had just had my face ripped off by an angry customer I could barely muster civility much less appreciation for overly forward advances.

Alright, whatever. Let's move on to way more exciting topics. Like my new greenhouse and barbeque! The greenhouse has me beyond excited as I now have all kinds of fresh herbs growing right here on my balcony. Fresh dill, oregano, basil, parsley, and thyme! Eek!! The greenhouse took all of maybe 10 mins to construct. The barbeque, however....

First of all, it SAYS on the box that no tools are required, which is nothing short of a big fat lie. I mean sure, you *could* put it together with no tools, so long as you don't mind your fire burning on top of a wobbly cart. I, for one, am not entirely comfortable with that. I'm not even that excited by the idea of fire and propane together in one combustible situation but it makes food taste good, so I overlook this concern.

Anyway, I am a strong, stubborn, single woman who has lived on her own for a number of years and I figure if I can put a mini trampoline together by myself (go ahead, try and pry open a giant trap that snaps shut, all by your lonesome) I can put a silly barbeque together. Piece of cake.

I hit a few snags along the way but I got it together. Occasionally my frustration would cause me to have to take a little time out (from my swearing and cursing), so then I would take some time to clean the windows. I want to be able to see my new greenhouse and barbeque through clean windows, afterall. In the end I triumphed with a little help from dad.... got him to hook up the tank. Like I said... I don't like propane.

Somewhere in the midst of this I got a slight sunburn on my face. Hunh?? When was that? When I walked from my car to Comb Repo to buy the barbeque? When I was cleaning windows with my back to the sun?? Honestly, I have no idea. Best be more careful... seems summer is here!

And to all those who sent love and support for my grandma..... big big thanks! She's feeling better and is pleased to have visitors aplenty. She still needs to take it slow but she is on the mend. Updates will come as needed.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!

strawberry Jello good. Lime Jello BAD. very very bad.

2007-04-29T23:37:00.001-04:00

As you may be able to tell from the photos below, my grandmother is NOT a big fan of the lime flavoured Jello (click on the picture for a larger version in order to fully appreciate the look. heh). Strawberry, orange, grape... in that order, are her preferences. She would have passed on the lime altogether, but when all you get for lunch is 1/2 cup of broth, juice, tea and Jello, you eat the damn Jello. Especially if all you've had for 4 days is an i.v.
As the saying goes, beggars can't be choosers.

But that was on Friday, and things have changed much since then. My grandma was discharged on Saturday and stayed the night at my parents home. Today she had enough of being away from home (nearly a week since this all started!) and so my mom drove her home to settle in.

Now we begin the learning process.... how does one deal with colitis? We just don't know, this is new to the family. I have already ordered a book online and will begin reading up on what foods are best to avoid and how we can control the inflammation in the intestines with diet. Once off the antibiotics her system is on it's own, so it's time to learn about "good foods" and "bad foods".

Overall she is in great spirits and happy to be home. The doctor wants to see her again in 3 weeks to follow up and make sure things are ok and after that it will be all about the diet. I thank everyone for your prayers, love and support, it was much appreciated!

white coats and blue walls

2007-04-26T07:37:00.000-04:00

When I did my usual run up north for work on Monday I went to my grandmother's to stay over night as I always do (aka: Hotel Grandma). However, when I arrived I found her curled up on the couch and writhing in pain. She had been waiting for me to come and help her as she was in too much pain to do anything. She refused to have me take her to the local hospital emergency room, she wanted to go back down to the city (where I live) which is 2 hours away. The snag in all this was that I had a co-worker with me that I am training, and she was staying at a hotel 10 mins away; I couldn't just drop everything unless she was willing to go to a local hospital. On only 5 hours of sleep and 9 hours of driving and working I was tired and unable to just drive back down from whence I came.

I called my mom and told her that HER mom was in bad shape. After much discussion my father drove all the way up, picked her up, and drove her all the way down and to the hospital where she has been ever since. She has had a CAT scan and the doctor has determined it's colitis. The blood just doesn't circulate in the body as it once did at 87 yrs old and now part of her intestine is not getting blood flow. This is often corrected with surgery but with her age and many health conditions (bad heart, bad lungs, blood issues and allergies to *everything*) she is not a candidate for surgery. I have no idea what we're going to do.

Right now the doctor has her on i.v. and no food since Monday morning. She is starving and cranky, as I no doubt would be too. I am excusing myself from work today and tomorrow and will be spending the days at the hospital by her side. I will work the weekend when the family can be there to tag off with me and be with her in my place. I will looking for the doctor today to ask some hard questions.

If you are of the mind, please say a prayer for the most awesome grandma ever.
Much appreciated.

"Furniture is awesome!"

2007-04-03T06:52:00.000-04:00

Since I wrote last I have flown back from California, worked, worked worked, got 2 speeding tickets (within a block of each other, and within 6 days), 1 parking ticket (20 mins past expired? please.) and had a minor car accident to the tune of $1,200 (a fender bender, really. and no it had nothing to do with the speeding, and I was the one being hit, not doing the hitting). I have acquired a new cell phone that I have a love/hate relationship and have a new laptop on the way that I bought on eBay because my old one died and I need to resurrect some 3,00 pictures from my Israel trip that are on there. I'm trying not to have a stroke about that.

Now I am about to leave and catch some 4 flights over the next 24 hrs as my job once again takes me out of town. Mercifully this will be the last time I have to fly to these stores up north, as we have indeed hired a new girl and this will become her territory. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it won't be until the end of April after I have her trained and in place. I'm feeling highly motivated to get her trained swiftly.

To those celebrating.... Chag Sameach...

P.S. when I return I will explain the title of this entry... a true quote from the worst day of life a week or two ago, mere minutes after someone hit my car.

what'sthat? a blip on the radar?

2007-03-07T08:17:00.000-05:00

I know, I disappeared again. It all started with California and then back to a crazy workload. There IS light at the end of the tunnel, however.

Regular programming will resume soon and when I return I will post pictures from California. In case you thought it was all fun and games allow me to assure you it wasn't. Have you ever been to a sales conference? Endless hours of soul-sucking talks of product and sales figures. Zzzz... A whole day and half went by in which I didn't even smell fresh air. Hotel room> meeting rooms> dining hall> hotel room to sleep. Repeat. All for the better anyway, it was quite cold for most of my stay. "Sunny California" is a lie, I tells ya.

There is light at the end of the work tunnel as well. While I was busy disappearing off the radar I was doing interviews and miracle of miracles, we have finally hired another person for my area. My territory will finally shrink and my drives up north are coming to end (not the drive east, however). Not so good for trips to see Grandma, but better for my sanity and safety in the winter. I was supposed to head north yesterday, for example, but there was a 75 car pileup on the highway I needed to take because of a snowstorm. Yikes.

As a side note, the girl I chose to hire was an Iranian Muslim. See that? And they say Jews and Muslims can't get along! I was actually the one who pushed for her to apply, interviewed her and convinced my district manager to hire her. I'll be working closely with her and we get along smashingly! Ha! And they say it can't be done! Let peace begin right here, baby!!

Anyway, I am packed and heading out now. I will return Friday night, and on the weekend I will post pictures and regale you with stories of fun, misery and travel.
Be back soon!

up, up and AWAY!!!

2007-02-15T03:11:00.000-05:00

Well, I've only had about 3 hours of sleep and now I am up and getting ready to head off to California. I had actually set my alarm to allow myself to get 4 hours of sleep but my brain just seems to be all revved up and refused to rest (coz there ain't NOTHIN' more exciting than a sales conference!!). I'm going to have to sleep on the plane or in the airport between flights. I am hoping the weather that has been belting us and much of the north eastern States hasn't screwed up the flights too badly... I know the Chicago airport (where I am connecting through) was closed down the other day. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Anyway, most of my (over)packing is done, I'm just going to hit the shower to wake up a little, grab some breakfast and await the cab at 5:30am. *yAWn*
Be good while I'm gone everyone!

Snow Day = Valentine's Day!

2007-02-14T08:48:00.001-05:00

Ah yes, snow in Toronto. Not too often we get a load of it like we have overnight, but today it's sight to behold! (click on the image for a larger picture.... that's the view of Yonge Street from my balcony... usually you can see a tiny CN Tower off in the distance, but not today!)

I was in a race to get home from out of town yesterday in order to beat the storm that was rolling in. I was successful, but barely! Soon after I got home the snow began... and has been going for over 12 hours now. Apparently it is to continue for much of the day but I am promised that it will end by the evening... and it had better, I have a 7am flight to catch tomorrow morning! If ever I needed a trip to California, this is it!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

this n that

2007-02-12T08:34:00.000-05:00

Here I am sitting in a hotel room in a small town called Brockville (or "Brockvegas", as I like to call it. makes me feel more glam when I call it that). It's about a three hour drive from my home and I stopped and worked at 3 stores along the way. Tomorrow I will get up, work at another store, and then head home. Some people wonder how I can do so much driving, but to me it beats sitting in a cubicle all day staring at a computer. It was a beautiful sunny day and I had a great day at work. I'm told, however, that the weather is taking a nasty turn tonight and I might have a rough drive home. Such is life on the road.

Anyway..... a few random thoughts I've had of late....

- last week during a few snow storms, birds started showing up on the balcony of my apartment. I make note of it because it's actually quite unusual, as I have not had a lot of visitors of the feathered variety. Perhaps they don't like hanging out 8 floors up?
What actually amazed me was that on one of the chillier days two black birds (starlings?) appeared on my balcony looking quite cold. I stood with my jaw dropped as I watched these two birds proceed to spend the next five minutes eating snow. Eating snow!!! I gotta say, I have seen plenty of nature up close over the years, especially up north where there's plenty of both birds AND snow, and I have never in all my years seen birds eat snow. Ya learn something new everyday.

- I was watching an Israeli film on tv the other day, called Walk On Water. It was pretty good and hearing all that Hebrew and seeing the scenery from Israel made me miss it. *sigh* And the Israeli actor in it, Lior Ashkenazi, is a total cutie. *swoon*

- Ok, I know I'm late in discussing this, but I feel really bad that Anna Nicole Smith died. I don't care what you thought of the girl (and believe me, I didn't ever pay attention to news or talk of her) it's still absolutely tragic that she died. She left behind a baby who will never know her mother or brother, and that is simply saddening. But I gotta say.. enough already with the crazy news coverage. Entertainment Tonight, you're the worst offender. Do you really need like, THREE, different correspondants in three different locations to cover all the latest updates? Really now. Give it a rest and stop circling like vultures, it's in such bad taste.

- I don't know about the rest of you but I have been riveted by the story of the NASA astronaut gone loopy (does that make me a hippocate after the Anna Nicole comments?). It just goes to show you it doesn't matter if you're from the ghetto or if you're Harvard educated..... you can go crazy just the same. Love can make ya do some dumb things, and I think kidnapping your competition for a man certainly qualifies. I hope this woman gets some serious help.... she clearly needs it.

- Ok, WHAT is going on with the guy who shot a snokeler because he thought the guy in the water was a nutria?? (a nutria is something akin to a muskrat or beaver. I've never heard of them, truth be told) Apparently some 60 year old guy saw fit to pack some methamphetamine, marijuana and a .22 caliber rifle to go hunting.. resulting in a shot to the face for the unlucky sap who evidently resmbles a water rodent if one happens to be under the influence. Guns and drugs are bad, kids!

- I'm in the mood for travel. Possible locations: Colorado (to see one of the girls I bunked with during my 3 month stay in Israel), Iowa (to see a girl that was in my French class), North Carolina (to see My Big Gay Daddy), or to England to see a dear friend of mine who once lived in Canada (and South Africa and Israel... this chap gets around!). I think money might be the dictating factor as I would ideally like to knuckle down and pay off some debts this year.

- I am still in love with my mini-tramopline, thanks for asking. And I am seeing fanatastic results! As I said before, if you have ever thought about getting one I strongly encourage you to give it a try! It's fun AND it's good for ya!

- I got not one, not two, but THREE new pairs of eye glasses. Found me a place that has a 3 for 1 deal and took advantage. Perhaps when I'm feeling ambitious I will dig out my camera and model them for you. That will also give you a chance to see my giant curly 'fro hair as well.

- ok, how unhappy am I that Blogger forced me to switch over to their new version? Not happy at all, is the answer. I don't like being forced into anything, thank you very much. I will blog how I see fit. ... er... and apparently that means seeing fit to blog as Blogger would like me to. One day I *will* move this blog, damnit!

That's it for me.... I'm gearing up to head to California at the crack of dawn on Thursday. Yeeha Costa Mesa!

a kitten needs your help!

2007-02-04T09:22:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am returning a favour.

My longtime readers will remember that in Aug/Sept of 2005 I had a pitstop in Budapest on my way to Israel. Upon reading my blog and seeing that I would be in her neighborhood, a kindly fellow blogger whom I had never met, offered to meet me at the airport and take me on a tour of the city. She patiently took me to all the tourist sites where I took pictures and frolicked with unbridled tourist passion, and then we had dinner; I had a 12 hour layover and it was well spent thanks to Noorster. I had the time of my life and it was definitely a highlight of my trip. If not for the kindness of a stranger I would not have toured Budapest!

Now I would like to return the favour by drawing some attention to her call for help. Noorster has since moved to Israel and while settling in has taken in a stray kitten (there are oh-so-many in Israel) and named him Marzipan. This kitten desperately needed a home and Noorster gave him one. However, the new addition has had a severe and extremely adverse reaction to his vaccines and it has turned cancerous (read the whole story here and here). The poor dear is now undergoing all kinds of tests and is running around with one of those terrible cones on his head and 12 or so stiches on his haunch. The bills are racking up and Noorster is in need of some financial assistance.

I have kicked in some money and hopefully you can too! Every little bit helps, folks... so please chip in a couple of bucks if you can; just head over to her blog and click the PayPal donation button at the top right. Even if you don't have a PayPal account you can still use a credit card, so don't be shy! Help save a kitty's life!

prepare to be Bzzed!

2007-02-04T08:30:00.000-05:00

Alright, so we all know that bloggers are good for spreading the word about everything from news to favourite new computer games, right? Well allow me to fill you out on something that's got me buzzing these days.... but first, a little background!

A few months ago I got an email from a friend I spent time with in Israel in 2005, and the email was offering for me to sign up for a website called BzzAgent. It's basically a site set up to help spread the word about new products and services. You can sign up as an agent, fill in a little information about your interests and likes and then you will be offered campaigns based on the information and surveys you have filled out. Mine were very much geared towards computer stuff and music.

I was soon invited to join a campaign involving AOL Radio (in MY case, AOL Radio Canada) due to my avid interest in music. At first I was unsure whether or not I wanted to join because I am inclined to avoid all things AOL. When I first went on the website to test out the music I was happy to see that it did not require me to sign up to listen, I could just click on the radio button and pick a station. Nice! Eventually however, I did choose to sign up as it allowed me to customize the stations so my favourites were at the top of the list. And what a list of stations it is!

There are a WIDE variety of stations to choose from, anything from 80's tunes (3 different stations, in fact!) to classical, hip-hop, country, jazz/blues, metal, kids, comedy, dance and more! There are even specialty stations.... all Pearl Jam or Green Day, for instance. I immediately got into having AOL Radio playing in the background all the time while I sat at my computer... or even when I was cooking or getting ready for work. As a person who has music going on in the background at all times this was perfect. It was like having a radio station playing stuff I like without all the annoying commercials! I *hate* commercials!

Alright, alright... so it all seems to be good to be true, right? Well, allow me to share the good and bad of it all and then you be the judge. Let me make some comparisons for you...

When I first started listening to music online (via streaming "radio" stations) I began with Yahoo! Music. It was too bad as it allowed you to rate the songs you like. 0 to 5 stars, which is nice because it's not so black and white; sometimes you like a song but you don't *love* it. This also 'taught' Yahoo what you liked and could adjust what went on your playlist by taking off things you didn't like and suggesting new stuff that you might like. So why did I stop using it? First of all, the sound quality was awful (unless you paid for an upgrade, which I didn't want to do). Also, the free version subjected you to commercials, and plenty of them. Did I mention I hate commericals? It also had a feature that allowed you to skip a song you didn't like, but only so many times an hour. This became frustrating if they played songs you didn't want to hear and you used up all your skips for that hour to get past them. Over time it became clear that certain new bands had paid to get some airtime and that turned me off Yahoo for good.

Then there was Pandora (which I told you about in Jan 2006, much like I'm telling you about AOL radio now!) This is a innovative concept in which a program has been created to break down songs to their basic elements and catalogue them based on those elements. This is great because then when you enter in the songs and groups you like the program can break down those songs, compare them to songs with similar melodies or beats, and suggest other music you might like. You can create different stations you like based on the names of a few groups you have submitted for each stations and they will play those groups and others with similar backgrounds. If you don't like what they have suggested you can give it a thumbs down and they will note that in the programming (which makes it a little black and white for my liking.. I prefer a rating system, not a simply thumbs up or down). Very much a program for those looking to find new music they might not have heard before. The drawbacks? Well, the sound quality is great but it has a similar setup to Yahoo, in that you can only skip "x" number of songs in an hour. This is again frustrating if you have to waste your skips on stuff they have suggested just to get to a band you have actually requested. I definitely got the feeling there were bands being showcased which took away from the grassroots feeling the website is trying to portray. Overall, I liked it far better than Yahoo music...

Then along came AOL Radio. As I said, I love it... but that's not to say that it doesn't have cons of it's own. While you *can* customize your stations if you sign up, it means you can only "preset" your top 5 favourite stations. This is a pain in the butt because there are SO many stations to sift through to find what you like. Gee, it's tough when you complain about having too much selection, hunh?

It also seems to have a definite rotation or playlist of songs.... because of my extensive playing of the radio for weeks on end I started to hear repeats of songs. Not too often, but I could hear the same song 2 or 3 times in a 30 hour period. Also, and most peculiarly, when a song is playing there is a spot in the 'radio window' that lets you know what's "Coming Up"... and it lists two groups that are next in rotation. Or are they? Sometimes the next song isn't either of the two promised which is a bit frustrating when you waited on that station to hear a group rather than switch stations (case in point: I have the radio on now and it said that coming up was The Cure and Talk Talk.... then it played the Psychedelic Furs. I like the group so it's no big deal, but hey, it's not what you said was coming up!). Oh, and one last gripe? I can't play AOL Radio on my Firefox browser... I have use Internet Explorer! Ack!!

Anyway, I leave it to you to try and I recommend you do. It has all kinds of awesome music to choose from, fantastic sound quality. And no, AOL won't install nasty stuff on your computer (I looked into it a bit before I signed up..... I'm a bit paranoid of spyware).

Let me know what you think, what stations you like, what you think the good bad and ugly of it are.... Oh, and you can thank me later! *wink*

girl, where HAVE you been??

2007-02-03T20:57:00.000-05:00

That was me disappearing again. Seems to happen with more frequency these days....
It would appear to be a combination of a couple of rough weeks in my personal life (you can thank my cousin who keeps coming here after my asking him not to for the lack of details as to what was going on with me) and I am having trouble maintaining motivation for blogging (hell, I'm not even really reading other blogs either!). I have been wondering if it's something I should let go of or not; if it becomes work one should stop, right? I leave it to you to tell me when it's time to put the lame horse down.

First of all, an update on what's going on with the new kitty (if you are just joining us you may wish to scroll down a few entries to catch up). The newest addition to our family, Dexter has adapted quite well to his new home though he still has a wild streak in him (he was rescued from a cat colony). While he likes to be around people, still he runs when someone first enters a room (he comes out a short time later, but it's an instinct that is slow to leave him) and he is still not good with large open spaces if anyone is around. However, as I said, when you drag him out from under the bed he *does* enjoy a good cuddle and loves to be brushed.

The really remarkable part has been the bonding between new kitty and old kitty, Isaac. Isaac eventually got over his hissing and began to tolerate sharing space. Now it's just a crazy love affair as Dexter looks up to his new big brother with the greatest of admiration and love. When Isaac walks down the hall Dexter is glued to his side. He loves to run his head under Isaac's chin and as soon as Isaac sits down Dexter curls up with him. It is the most heart warming sight to behold and Isaac has really helped Dexter come out of his shell. They sleep and play together and it has been truly wonderful to see Dexter find a friend and for Isaac to be young again (he's 11 yrs old).

Let's see... what else? work has been crazy busy and has kept me on the move, as usual. I'm happy because we are finally hiring another person, so part of my territory will be split off. *whew* This will mean a little less driving for me, which will allow me to focus on a smaller territory. I'm excited. I also had my first review as I cleared the 1 year anniversary on the job and it was a glowing review. They like me, they really like me! *wink* Sounds like my boss has plans for me which is nice.. helps keep me motivated.

We finally got some snow here in Toronto which makes me happy. I love big crazy snow storms and we got a good one today. The snow has been received with mixed reviews... some people in the city were content with a brown, muddy, rainy winter while others were looking for a snowy winter. Count me in on the snow! The bigger the flakes the better, as far as I'm concerned! Though I have to say, my desires conflicts with the job and snow isn't exactly the ideal condition in which to be driving.

What else?

Ah yes, my latest obsession..... my mini-trampoline. Oh how I love you sweet, sweet rebounder! I bought it a couple of days ago and I'm so excited about it because I have finally found a form of exercise that I like! Who knew such a thing existed?? Hey, if it's good enough for getting NASA astronauts in shape it's good enough for me!

I have it set up in front of the tv so that every time there's a commercial I get up and do some jumpin' jacks, jogging or twists until my show comes back on. Actually, that's the theory but I gotta tell ya, it's HARD WORK, folks!! 3 minutes is my max at this point before I'm fully prepared to curl up on the floor and die. However, it's great because I can go and jump around for a few minutes tons of times throughout the day (and I do!). It's easy on the joints and I don't find my muscles are stiff and sore the next day (though I don't know why not, the burning in my thighs makes me want to beg for mercy after a few minutes of jogging rigorously on the spot). All going well I'm going to work up to longer and longer rounds on it... I shall get to ten minutes if it kills me!

Anyway, I guess we'll see if I stick with it, but as it stands this is the most optimistic I've felt about any attempt to get into shape. Them crazy experts are right... it's all about finding the activity you like. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for something new. It's an amazing cardiovascular and calorie burning workout and it's easy on the joints, since it's low impact. The one I bought was only $36 so it's well worth a try!

I also invested in an unspeakable amount of money on groceries. I have been eating like a (healthy!) queen for the last few days and I'm feeling good. I gotta get this bod in shape for Feb 15th! I am heading down to California for a week; last year it was San Antonio for sales meetings, this year it's Costa Mesa. A co-worker and I are going down a couple of days early in order to have a mini vacation and explore the area since they really don't let us see the light of day much at these sales meetings. While I appreciate that they pick somewhere warm to hold them every year, what's the point if we don't ever get to take a side tour?

Right, so, the plan is to lose a little of this "buddha belly" in time to sport a bathing suit in California. Just a few little pounds, is that so much to ask?? Winter pudge along with my pastey white skin will have me standing out as a Canadian in a big way, so anything I can do to blend in a little better is good. Perhaps I need to bleach my hair blonde?
Shyeah, right.

P.S.
Can anyone explain to me why it is on my Firefox browser I can't see my title banner for my blog? Or my comments? Or my Haloscan and Site Meter buttons? those four items have all disappeared for reasons unknown.... and only when I look at it on Firefox, not IE!

without words

2007-01-29T08:50:00.000-05:00

How is it that there isn't a suicide bombing in Israel for NINE MONTHS and then the day that someone near and dear to my heart is going over for the first time there is a bombing? In a town that has never been hit before? I'm beyond upset. Angry. Worried. I had been secretly praying that it stayed "quiet" for just one more week while my friend is over there.....
damnit.

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to...

2007-01-07T22:39:00.000-05:00

... Dexter! Isn't he a handsome lad? And doesn't he look happy? Sure he does! But looks can be deceiving...

Friday night I met my parents at PetsMart to pick up our new family member along with all the necessary supplies. After all the forms were filled out and everything was purchased we loaded him up and headed home. My parents reported that during the car ride home (I was in my own vehicle, they in theirs) Dexter rubbed against my dad's hand through the carrier and purred, never once meowing or complaining. All seemed to be going well! Until we got home....

Upon arriving at my parents home I went in first to distract our older cat, Isaac, whilst my parents snuck the new baby into his temporary room upstairs. Isaac felt the excitement/tension in the air but couldn't quite figure out what it was about. He meowed and squeaked and whirled at us quizzically and was very excited by all the toys we seemed to have brought home for him. New scratching posts and a litter box and CATNIP! He had hit the jackpot!

My parents took Dexter up to the spare bedroom and set it up with all the necessary fixin's (litter, food, etc) and let him out of the carrier to investigate his new surroundings. He immediately dashed under the bed, never to be seen again. No coaxing, cooing or loving was luring him out. He was scared and was not budging. Fair enough, so we left him for the night.

The next morning my mother called to inform me that my dad had finally hauled him out from under the bed and that he was curled up on the bed purring and happy. Happy, that is, until either my father or mother moves, in which case he gets frightened all over again.

When Isaac saw Dexter for the first time, Dexter was *thrilled* to see another cat (he had been sharing kennel space with seveal other cats) and was happy to see a new friend; Isaac was none too impressed and expressed his feelings accordingly. He hissed, growled, and stomped off.

The long and short of it is this: Dexter likes very much to cuddle up alongside anyone who will lay down with him. He will purr nonstop and stay like that for hours. He has no interest in getting off the bed to explore and has little desire to eat, drink or use the litter. He likes people well enough until they get up off the bed, which causes him to hide under the pillows. Same goes for reappearing back into the room you may have just been in with him moments prior; as you approach him he acts as if you're going to kill him, and flattens out on the bed and prays for his life. Once you lay down again he's happy as a clam and curls up with you as if he was never afraid of you. It's all very strange.

Interestingly, he is not particularly bothered by Isaac hissing and growling at him. He wishes he wouldn't, indeed he rather wishes Isaac would play with him, but he doesn't seem to be afraid of him, per se. Just big people who move. This is clearly going to take time for both cats, as happens when you adopt a 'rescue' cat.

Overall, he's a very sweet little soul who readily purrs and enjoys being pet. He prefers to sleep on the countertop of my mother's bathroom sink (the bathroom is just off the bedroom, so it's not too far from the bed) and seems to find solace in his reflection. He cried to the other kitten in the mirror much of the morning, but now he just looks at him and rubs his face along the mirror. It's kinda sad, but hey, whatever works for him. Baby steps.....

P.S. did I mention that just a couple of days before I found Dexter in the PetsMart I had a dream about an orange kitten? *grin* I shoulda known...

a purr-fect start to the new year

2007-01-03T19:43:00.000-05:00

Some of you may recall that a little over a year ago I lost my beloved cat, Abbey, when she died at the ripe old age of 17. I was in Israel at the time and was devastated that she died while I was gone, though I had a feeling she would. My mom took the loss quite hard as well, as she too was out of town and travelling to France. We had a great life with Abbey and she brought an enormous amount of love and joy into our home. That left us with one cat, a bad-ass boy named Isaac (I brought him home from the pet store I was working at 10 years ago). Isaac was lonely but eventually adapted to being the only cat in the household. Both cats lived with my parents and my mom wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready to bring another cat into the home again (don't we all say that after a heart breaking loss of a pet?). In recent months however, my mom had begun suggesting that she might be ready to welcome a new kitty into the house.... if she were to find the right one. She pointed to an old painting on the wall my grandmother had done *years* ago and said that she wanted THAT cat. A beautiful, regal, long-haired orange tabby.

Earlier this week I stopped into a PetSmart in my area to pick up cat food for Isaac. I started to head over to the adoption area to see the cats they had but then decided it was too heart breaking to see them in cages, so I turned away. Two seconds later I was turning around and walking towards the glass room. And what did I see on the other side of the glass? A half grown kitty with long orange fur. "Uh-Oh" said I, as I saw the kitty of my mom's dreams. I squinted to try and read the info on him attached to the cage.. how old was he? was he adopted yet? I decided to give up, and that my mom would never take a cat right now. She was almost ready, but not quite. I turned and walked to the other side of the store to buy cat food.

As I made my way back to the front of the store to buy the 4 cases of canned food I had in hand I found myself veering again towards the adoption kennels. I saw that the 2 staff that had been lingering around before had left so I set the food down on a table and let myself into the room. I was greeted casually but happily by Quincy, the 'cat in the painting'. He tried to charm me but wasn't going to beg for me to take him home. He more or less just suggested it might be nice. I fell in love with him and immediately took my cell phone out and called my mom. I told her: "I found your cat".

That night I went with my mom back to the store and met with the woman from the adoption group. She took Quincy out and put him in my mom's arms where he immediately melted comfortably into her fold and began purring. My mom cried. "This is my cat" she said. And so it was; we filled out the adoption forms that night and after a few reference calls (oh yes!) the next day, we were approved. 7 month old Quincy is set to come home and meet his new brother (*gulp!*) Isaac on Friday night. Two orange cats in one home can only mean trouble.... :-) I think Abbey would approve of Quincy... he drools when he purrs, just like she did! (a charming feature in a cat, really)

There is just one problem..... the family can't agree on the name! My mother and I both thought Quincy was a great name but the men in the family hate it. We have been tossing suggestions back and forth with no agreement yet. I shall now field some of the suggested names for your feedback/approval..... and if you have a name to add to the list, speak up!

Atticus Apollo Ari Bonzai Boomer Bosco Boris Brutus Caesar Cedric Chance Cisco Clyde (or Clive!) Cosmo Damian (he IS orange afterall!) Dash Dexter Didget Diesel Digby Dooley Duey Duncan Edgar Egon Elijah Elwood Enzo Errol Finn(igan) Fitz Flash Galahad Gavin Gromit Gus Huck Icarus Jaffa Jonah Kilian Lewis Liam Marik (Mare-ick) Maxwell Micah (My-cah) Miles Moby Oliver Orson Oscar Otis Paco Palooka Phoenix Poe Raoul Rio Rowan Rudy Rupert Russell Samson Sassafras Strauss Tang(o)

updated suggestions:
Marley. Merlin. Milo. NOT Piper.

a fresh start... all over again

2007-01-01T23:43:00.000-05:00

Wow. 2006 really went out with a bang, non? First there was the death of Joseph Barbera. I gasped and clamped my hand over my mouth on Christmas morning when I saw that James Brown had died. Then Gerald Ford. What was going on?? Talk about a Black December...

For me, December was pretty good. I worked, I played, I spent time with friends and family and I got a bit of a break from my heavy workload. I shopped, I bestowed presents and I received presents. I have no complaints.

So what of the new year? I loathe making resolutions because nobody believes them, least of all yourself. Yes I have resolutions in my mind, but they are for me and me alone, so I will be keeping them to myself. 2006 was a really great year for me and I hope for more of the same in 2007. Life is treating me pretty well so I'd like some more of that, please!

What of you? Have you made resolutions? Something beyond the ole 'eat better/quit smoking/start exercising' resolutions?

And one last thing.... I need some input here. I have heard a few bloggers complaining about Blogger's new features/configurations.... but there seem to be some new good features that I would like, such as the ability to make some posts PRIVATE. So family members who disregard my wishes to have this blog stay private can no longer read it, for instance. Has anyone been working with the new Blogger system? Any comments or thoughts? Do share with the group!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!!

random thoughts, ongoing obsessions

2006-12-10T08:40:00.000-05:00

1) I am obsessed with aliens right now. This movie has me enthralled and terrified me when I watched it at 4am. I thought it was mind blowing and apparently I'm not the only one. If you don't believe in aliens I'd love to open up the debate in the comments section. Go for it.

2) Did I mention I'm obsessed with aliens lately? Thanks for keeping me up at night, Discovery channel with your Strangest UFO Stories!! And you too British guy who shows that Nazis were building UFOs!!!

3) I'm also currently obsessed with the idea of getting fit... and love to plan ways to do so, but can't seem to actually get around to doing it. It's ok... I have a plan. I have found the all important motivation! I am going to be in California (Costa Mesa) at the end of February... but will I be willing to get into a bathing suit?

4) Screw you evil, evil cancer.... you're a bastard disease that has taken much of my family and is fixing to take another. There's only a handful of us left, can't you leave well enough alone? How many more times do I have to go through this? Screw you and back off. I don't like you.

5) when I'm not up at night wondering about the aliens that are flying all around our airspace I'm busy worrying about our globe and the horrific climate changes going on. Thanks a bunch, Al Gore.

6) I'm feeling the need to go back to Israel. Gotta scratch that itch. I have an opportunity in front of me to go in February, but it's complicated. Don't know what to do, must weigh consequences...

7) I am absolutely hating bluetooth technology. I got a new headset and it does really annoying things on my new cell phone. I am not at one with my new phone OR my (second!!) bluetooth headset. Nothing like being dragged kicking and screaming into future technology.

8) I am finished my French course and I'll be damned if I take the second level. I can't say I liked my class much and during the final oral exam I accidentally spouted Hebrew instead of French. My brain is confused and so was my teacher, as she cocked her head like a puppy dog. Oops.

Alright, that's it for now... I have to get out the door to work. I feel like I'm in Israel, what with working on a Sunday and all! Believe me, it's not something I care to make a habit of but it's gotta be done this (and next) Sunday. So I'll be gone until Tuesday night.... behave while I'm gone and have a good week!

is this year over yet?

2006-12-04T11:34:00.000-05:00

First day back from vacation.
Not quite over whatever sickness I had, but feeling mostly better.
Couldn't sleep until nearly 5am only to be awoken at 8:30am by my mom calling with bad family news. Really bad.
When my vacation ends it *really* ends.
Off to work, and I have the boss in town tonight for dinner and training.
I need a day or two to put my thoughts together. Meanwhile, pick a blog from the blogroll on the right there and try something new!
Ava good week!

my dream vacation

2006-11-24T15:53:00.000-05:00

So I'm officially on vacation now. And how does an exciting gal like me spend her vacation time? Well, start with some kind of vague sickness (I'm gonna guess a mild sinus infection) that was picked up while on the road on Monday. Then yesterday (day one of vacation) spend your day cleaning the house for incoming guests (hope they've been taking vitamins and eatin' their Wheaties!) . Sounds like a dream vacation so far, non? Day two you get to further tidy the apartment, run some errands (mostly involving groceries) and then, like a loser, you can't stay away from work so you pop into a store to check in on them. What can I say, I have no clue how to take a vacation, and for the record I was forced by my boss to take this time off by the end of the year or lose the vacation time. Well fine then!

Anyway, I have a friend coming in from Montreal tonight to come and hang out with me for a few days. Dinner out with friends, daytime excursions, and booty shaking on a dance floor are planned. Should be fun. Then friend number one tags out and friend number two will tag in and come and stay with me for a few days. Shopping is the activity of choice with her. Well we ARE girls and the holidays are coming... she wants to do some big city shopping, and so I'll be taking her on the giant mall tour.

In other news I actually nearly pulled the plug on this blog the other day in a moment of hurt and anger. I found out someone from my family is reading this blog.... someone I had explicitly asked NOT to read it earlier this year. I have a separate 'friends and family' blog where the posts are often the same, but overall my 'anonymity' here allows me to be a little more open on here. This is clearly no longer the case and so I am going to have to now blacklist a whole lot of (personal) topics. Sorry gang, I'm a girl with trust issues and when someone deliberately defies my request, trust runs thin. More than anything I mourn the loss of a forum in which to share some of my deeper worries, concerns and ponderances. I accept it's my fault for ever opening my mouth in the first place and telling people I had a blog; if I wanted it to remain private I should have kept it secret. What can I say? I'm lousy at keeping secrets from people.

Unfortunately I would lose what little audience I have if I moved it without posting a forwarding URL so I'll just have to start filtering my posts. No more talk of my private life in any form.. *sigh*. But hey, that doesn't mean I'm not full of tall tales of pandemonium and fun! Perhaps next post will include one of my tales from the road..... involving cops and a desperate bid to find a washroom!

Shabat Shalom!

riding the voting high

2006-11-15T08:37:00.000-05:00

I'm not gonna lie, I love to vote. And I'm not talking silly little polls you find on websites, I'm talking real honest to goodness heading to the polls and marking an X on a ballot. I get a thrill like no other and I can't put my finger on just what it is but I get *very* excited when I start seeing signs going up on every street corner signalling an upcoming election. It's like I know a party is coming and I'M going to be invited.

Recently I noticed signs going up and annoying political fliers showing up on my doorstep. I knew an election was coming up though I knew not what for. Is that terrible? What's really terrible is that I didn't care, I just wanted to get to the polls. I tried to pay attention to the signs and what colour (read: what party) went with each name, but I had no idea what the platform was for any of the candidates let alone what the election was really for. I assumed it was local municipal elections.

Monday was the big night and off I went to my designated polling station (the local community centre, where I have voted before) and I had my little voting notice in hand that I got in the mail, which tells me the when and where and what district I'm in. I was giddy on the phone with my sweetie as I tried to explain how very much I loved to go vote. I don't think anyone quite understands, I've now learned.

My heart raced with excitement as I headed down the hall to the gymnasium and entered the room to find tables set all around with little old ladies waiting to help me. I saw the table labeled "Ward 5" (c'est moi) and I was happy to see there was no one ahead of me. I scurried over and eagerly handed my voting notice/card to the nice lady and glanced around the table. "Let's see.... blue..... celestial.... ah yes, celestial blue, here you are" she said as she checked my name off the list. At that point I noticed something on the table I had not seen in any prior elections.... black folders on the table labeled "Secrecy Folder". GLEE!!! "WOW!" I exclaimed "SECRECY folders, hunh?? Very exciting!!". She didn't even so much glance at me as she got my ballot ready and said "Oh yes, everything here is very secret". She took my ballot, a regular sized sheet of paper, and slipped it into one of these mysterious black folders. She informed me I could go over to that polling station and that I was to only use the marker that is supplied to mark the ballot. I made some excited remark about the fact that I was provided a chair so I could sit and really consider my options, but she seemed less than amused. Undeterred I bounced over the polling booth and plunked myself down. (btw, am I the only one bothered by the fact that the lady didn't ask me for ID??)

The little pseudo-wall they put up to provide you with some sense of privacy had instructions, in English and French, on what was to be done (and NOT done). When I finished marking my ballot I was to slide it back into the folder so that the votes were hidden but the (enumerator's?) signature at the top was visible. I was excited again by being part of this top secret ritual and pulled the ballot out to have a look at my options.

WTF?

They didn't put the party next to the names! In one election they had taped a "cheat sheet" to the pseudo-wall so I could at least refer to it to see who was with what party, but I didn't even get that this time. I was going to have to vote solely based on name. At that point I started to feel like a bit of a bad citizen for voting based entirely on how I felt about a name, but it's not like that's a new concept and it certainly wasn't going to stop me from enjoying the moment. Shrugging, I proceeded to read each name under my breath to see how I felt as each rolled off the tongue. One guy definitely sounded Greek or something and I was enthralled by the idea that he actually had an X in his name (how often does that happen??) but ended up voting for some guy who had a Scottish sounding name. With the right roll of the R it sounded good to me. I also voted for some woman who had the same last name as me (slightly different spelling) because.. well come on, how could I not?

When I was done my super scientific selection I stood up and walked to the end of the gym (as directed by the first lady) and handed my secrecy folder to some other woman (with yet another woman who was clearly assigned to stand and just watch) and I had to stand there while she slide the top half of my ballot into this magical machine. My ballot was sucked in, never to be seen again. Of course, this was all just about more than I could handle in terms of excitement and when I was handing the folder to the lady I blurted out, with great enthusiasm "This is SOME crazy exciting process, hunh?? I love it!!!". She gave a bit of a chuckle, which was the closest I had to any kind of understanding from anyone the whole night.

So what's my point? None I guess, other than I love to be a part of democracy. My parents had instilled in my brother and I that it was important to vote, always. In my mind I look at it as a right for which people have fought and died so I had best make sure I pay my respect by being a part of the democracy. And let's face it, I love the process of it all even if it takes all of 4 minutes, if you really drag it out. But I tells ya, it will likely be the highlight of my whole week.

P.S. the guy with the X in his name came in third place.

"I like things that are great. Good things are fantastic."

2006-11-12T09:46:00.000-05:00

Here are some things I have learned in recent weeks...

I must really love my friends a lot because I was talked into standing in a lineup outside in the cold at 7am on a Saturday morning until the store opened at 8am so we could buy Tickle Me Elmos (TMX) for my friend and his friend's kids (and one or two for eBay).

I have never been a fan of flying but I there are some planes I am less afraid to be on than others. Big planes scare the bejesus out of me, though I'm sure I'm supposed to somehow feel more secure in such a behemoth. I have done enough flying in giant planes to and from Israel (via Hungary, Holland, England, and France) to know that taking off and landing in these beasts isn't my favourite thing. On more than one occasion I have clutched the arm or leg of the poor soul next to me.

Similarly I don't care much for tiny two-seater planes like Cessnas despite an ex-boyfriend's attempt to get me to appreciate them (he was a pilot). He was a great pilot and all but I didn't like that I could feel every air pocket that the tiny plane encountered. See, it's not actually the flying I am worried about so much as the potential for falling out of the sky, and when the plane dips and drops and my stomach rises to my throat my brain gets the distinct notion that it is, in fact, falling. However, thanks to said boyfriend I now know the whole phonetic alphabet and recently corrected a credit card customer service rep on the phone when she was trying to spell something out using said alphabet.

So, which planes do I not mind? Well in I have recently had to take many trips in a Dash 8 and found that not only did I not have sweaty palms at take off and landing, I dare say I almost enjoyed the flight. Is that possible? Did I really just utter those words?? Perhaps I didn't take my flights under scary enough conditions (ie: storms) but overall I found myself glued to the window to watch the world passing below me. What's the difference? Well, I think it's because it's small enough that it gives me the illusion of more control than the giant airbus planes.... I feel like, if the engines cut this thing, would be more agile and we could glide to a nice spot somewhere if we had to. Same goes for the Cessna I suppose but there's a little more "meat" to the Dash 8 so you don't feel air pockets quite so badly, which we've already established makes me fear for my life. I likes me a mid-sized plane in which the take off is over with in like 30 seconds. Big planes bad. Tiny planes bad. Midsize planes much better.

I have also learned that when it rains, it pours men. Recently while working I was hit on, hardcore, by two separate guys in two different stores. They were totally cute and I can only scream in my mind... where the HELL were you guys at the beginning of the year?? Why does it happen that you only find people when you are already seriously seeing someone else? It's an annoying test of my monogamy, I tells ya. But I did not waiver and instead took it as a form of flattery and smiled as I left the store and called my honey to say say, hey, I love you.... :-)

So I finally got to come home for a weekend and I immediately holed up in my apartment and proceeded to spend a day and a half catching up on all the tv shows I had taped on my PVR (aka, DVR TiVo). I don't believe in watching "live" tv anymore as the commercials take up too much time and I have at least 20 shows taped and waiting at any given time. Here's what I'm watching....

First and foremost is Battlestar Galactica. *sigh* I cannot say enough about this show and if you're not watching it you're a fool. I was reluctant to start watching this remake of the old series but Mulder talked me into it and I will love him forever for doing so. This show transcends stereotypes of what a sci-fi show is and in essence is a tv drama that happens to be set in space. The writing is stellar, the effects stunning and the cast hot. Well come on, it never hurts to have a good looking cast to look at. I laugh, I cry (yes, I do. shuttup!), cheer and groan when they leave me hanging at the end of each episode. I own the 1st and 2nd season on dvd and you can bet your sweet ass I'll be buying all the seasons. If you're not watching this show you must take steps to rectify that. Go to your local video store (*couDOWNLOADITgh*) and rent the dvs and catch up. I promise you, you won't regret it. You can thank me later.

Prison Break is another that Mulder got me into while I was staying with him in Israel and has been dubbed by my mother as "the most stressful show on television". No kidding, we actually did a "stress test" in which we tested her blood pressure at each commercial break and her blood pressure steadily rises as the show progresses. Not only is each show a cliff hanger onto itself, but several times throughout the show you are left wondering what could possibly happen next. Each commercial break is a cliff hanger, my friends (and lord help me, this is one of only 2 shows I watch while it airs, as is tradition with my mom every Monday night). If you're not watching it, you're only a season (ok, TWO, but who's counting) behind; go rent it when you're grabbing Battlestar Galactica.

I am doing my best to watch Survivor every Thursday night with my Survivor buddy of 2 years but getting over to her house has been tough when I've been on the road so much. But I still watch it, I still like it, though it's nothing out of the extraordinary. It satisfies my reality tv craving.

Lost is another one that I have stuck with even though I'm starting to wonder just how far they can go with it. They better throw us more of a bone this year or I think they're going to start losing their audience.... but damn, what is UP with the polar bear on a tropical island?? I can't help but wonder what, coz I'm a sucker and I gots to know.

Heroes is quickly becoming one of my favourite new shows and if there is a show this season that you MUST get caught up on it's this one. "Heroes is a serial saga about people all over the world discovering that they have superpowers and trying to deal with how this change affects their lives". Read more about it here and trust me when I say it's good stuff.

I've gotten into a new show called Standoff about a team of hostage negotiators. I started watching it because the guy from the hilarious movie Office Space is starring in it. It's not a bad show with cute chemistry between the two leads.

I also like Jericho, a show that preys on one of my greatest fears; not so much a massive terror attack (the show starts with nukes going off all over the USA) but the chaos and anarchy that follows when it becomes an "every man for himself" scenario. That shit scares me, I'm tellin' you! Good show with some potential, I hope it survives.

For a laugh I turn to 30 Rock which has made me laugh the way I was hoping Studio 60 would but never did. I absolutely adore Tiny Fey and the way she delivers a line, and being paired up with Alec Baldwin is superb. Alec is great in a way similar to William Shatner... I can't put my finger on it, it's just the way they say things. A shameless personality means they will do anything for a laugh, even if it's at their own expense, and the dry way in which they give their lines keeps you on your toes; if you don't pay attention you may miss the punchline that was slipped in there. Watch 30 Rock, you know you want to.

What About Brian, Help Me Help You and The Class all get honourable mentions with The Class being the show that has surprised me the most. The pilot didn't impress me too much but the show has really picked up and I find it pretty damn funny. Worth checkin' out as it too has potential.

Also, a nod to old favourites like Boston Legal (Shatner and Spader is like peanut butter and chocolate!), E.R., House, Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives; I'm still watching them and for the most part still likin' them.

Wow, when you throw in Oprah and Ellen it's safe to say I watch a little too much tv, no? I didn't even get into my love affair with The Daily Show with my honey Jon Stewart...

Anyway! Hopefully I'll pull away from my tv today long enough to actually leave my house to run some errands. Later I have a date with paperwork and expense reports for work and then homework and a presentation for my French class this Tuesday. The good times never end here at my home. Jealous much? Pfft, don't lie, I know you are.

Thanks for stickin' around through my extended absences...um... assuming anyone is here and actually reading this. hahaha.... Have a good week, y'all!

grumblegrumble

2006-10-30T04:54:00.000-05:00

I know, I said I was back. But I also said October was going to be the worst month of my life, and here I am awake before 5am because I have the first of 4 flights over the next 36 hours, to catch. Ask me how excited I am. Terribily, would be the answer.

I actually started writing a long post the other night but didn't feel like finishing it; perhaps I will tonight in my hotel room, though I have to get up even *earlier* tomorrow to catch a flight.
*yAWn* I love my job, I love my job, I love my job....

back in the game

2006-10-16T19:52:00.000-04:00

Sorry about that little intermission, folks. I had just sort of hit a wall there where my capacity to cope with things was at a bit of a low. Your kind words of support meant a lot to me and were much appreciated. I had found out that yet another family member of mine had been diagnosed with cancer, which stirred up a boatload of old memories of sitting bedside to watch other members die from the same disease. And then I found out that my sweetheart was having some serious health concerns and that had me worried as well. To top it off I am hitting an exceptionally busy period at work (yes, more than usual) that will have me working some maniacal hours for the next 6 weeks. Flying and driving all over Ontario will be the norm for the next few weeks, and I am trying to figure out just when I can take my upcoming vacation time.

Anyway, I took a few days off and hopped on a plane to Montreal (Quebec) to recharge and just step back from the crushing stress I was experiencing. Time with someone close always helps, and I am feeling world's better. My plane landed back in Toronto late last night and then I was up and out the door first thing this morning for a 7 hour drive north to a little town called Timmins. Home of Shania Twain! Tis chilly and I forgot to bring a decent jacket, so I might have to buy something in town in the morning. I have a store to set up tomorrow and then it's more driving (only about 3 hours) to the next town and store. If I'm feeling really ambitious I might drive the full 5.5 hours to grandma's, but I doubt I'll have the energy.

So, feeling refreshed I'm trying to think of what else I wanted to post about. I'm so out of practice! Perhaps I could go back to my prior post about this godforsaken iPod I have recently acquired. I am SO not at one with my iPod and have a real love-hate relationship with it. Allow me to explain:

I have about 30 hours of French lessons I downloaded (er.. I mean BOUGHT!) that I wanted to play (given the amount of time I spend in the car, this seemed like a great way to kill time AND educate myself a little). My problem is not so much with the iPod (though I have a hate on for that damn dial) as much as the program, iTunes. The problem is that I like to listen to all my songs on shuffle, and therefore the French lessons get thrown into the mix. It's annoying to be jammin' along one minute to some driving tunes only to suddenly have some guy come on and try to teach me how to order roast beef in French. I had created a playlist of the French lessons, but the files still need to be in the main library in order to have a location to play them *from*, so the playlist is useless. I tried putting the lessons in the audio section of the iPod instead of the main library, but they just don't seem to want to go there. So it becomes an all or nothing deal; either I have the lessons pop up randomly during the shuffle of my songs so I can use the playlist when I want, or I put no lessons on at all. Anyone who has some advice PLEASE help steer me towards a solution before the iPod goes out my car window. (oh, and don't even get me going on trying to get it to play using an FM Transmitter). Stupid Mac technology.

Time Out

2006-10-04T09:33:00.000-04:00

Moons are aligning and October is promising to be a bad month for me; hitting a rough patch both personally and professionally and it's kickin' my ass. Need time to collect my thoughts. I'll write soon...

iPod. uPod. FUPOD.

2006-09-25T23:47:00.000-04:00

Alright, so the long and short of it is that I got myself a 30GB iPod and I'm about ready to choke the s.o.b. who designed the ridiculous program by which one uploads and "deletes" files from said device. It is the most counter-intuitive program I have ever used and makes little, if any, sense at all. It has caused me to swear a blue streak and nearly pull all my hair out.

I can't.
I can't even talk about it right now... I need to take a little break from my new toy. lol

Anyway, *helpful* tips would be much appreciated.

give me tv or give me death!

2006-09-21T23:17:00.000-04:00

Some have asked.... "NOW where did you disappear to??"
Well, it was my birthday last week and I had someone close to me in from out of town for most of the week, so I was busy enjoying myself, thank you very much. All work and no play makes celestial blue a dull girl, so it was time I relaxed a bit. Plus... the News front has been quiet so I have been feeling a bit like I haven't had much to talk about, ya know? I mean do you *really* want to know about the new grill I bought? I didn't think so.

I am working my butt off and trying to develop my fitness/health lifestyle. I have had to back off on my quest for a consistent exercise program because my asthma was really troubling me, so I am going to have to find a break somewhere in my work schedule to go see the doctor about it. I don't want my mission for more exercise to be thwarted by poor asthma management. I'm not givin' up that easy!

I am also fully into the new fall tv season, which could well be the bane of my social life and time in the gym. It's really quite pathetic how much time I spend watching tv and I fully admit my addiction to my pvr (personal video recorder, or TiVO as some know it as). I pay a lot of money for my suped up cable so I can get all the channels I like and if it weren't for my ability to record something like 40 hrs of tv shows I wouldn't be able to keep up. Then again, having that much recorded for later views begs the question... just when do you have the time to watch it all? The simple answer is that I don't. I've had to axe shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil and replace it with new shows like Standoff and The Class. It's all about priorities and thank god I can fast forward through commercials.... helps speed up the viewing!

*sigh* Yes, I know how all that sounds so I'm gonna cork it now, lest I seem like a fool hopelessly addicted to Hollywood offerings. Hey, there's worse addictions, believe me.

Anyway, just wanted to drop a quick post to say I'm alive and kicking. I think I feel a better post coming on soon..... I'm thinkin' Sunday when I'm not working (yes, I'm working Friday night and Saturday during the day like a bad, bad Jew).

To those celebrating the New Year..... Shana Tova!

A Moment of Silence

2006-09-11T00:08:00.000-04:00

Today, I choose to remember the events of 5 years ago by not saying anything about them. We all remember it in our own ways and I think it will be talked about enough by everyone else.
Je Me Souviens.

Big Macs be damned!

2006-09-08T08:22:00.000-04:00

Well, after months and months of talking about it I have finally decided this was the week I get back into my prior routine of exercise and eating responsibly. Having done it in the past I can at least take comfort in the idea that I am capable, but in the past few months I had picked up a few of my old bad habits (not to mention a few too many pounds) and I haven't been working out and exercising for a year now. So after spending $175 on grocercies (my fridge was *bare* since I haven't been home much the past few weeks) I am now eating good nourishing food again and am resisting the Big Macs that have been calling to me the last little while. Blecch. And money is tight so I can't head back to the gym just yet, but I have exercise tapes that I have been utilizing in my home and my apartment building has a treadmill, stationary bike and weight machine so I have my own little gym right here. In fact, it was part of the reason I wanted to move into this apartment building.

Anyway, that's been my focus this week and it's already starting to pay off. A few pounds are starting to come off and I'm feeling good and strong. My breathing, however, started bothering me again last night..... I might have to talk to my doctor about my asthma again. I had been waiting until my physical a few weeks ago to make sure I would be good to go and got the green light from my doc, provided I used my inhaler daily. Hm, perhaps that's the problem... I'm telling you, I'm the worst patient ever. 'Non-compliance' is my middle name (catchy, no?).

What else is going on? ......
I love chickpeas. I mean I REALLY love chickpeas a lot, and I don't care who knows it. I know it's an odd food to love, but there ya go. Don't you have a strange food you love? Like squash maybe? I also love me some squash.

I have spent many MANY hours obsessing over fonts thanks to John. He had mentioned a site on his blog a while back and that was it, I was off to the races. Annoyingly they have a limit as to how many you can download in an hour (LOL! hard to believe I found out what that max is, but I'm a superstar that way) but you can go back and get more later. Go ahead, join the obsession; you know you want to.

Is anyone on Skype? Finally got myself a mic and headset. Drop me an email if'n ya wanna chat on Skype sometime. Unless you're creepy and have been lurking here for a number of years having said nothing until you get on the horn with me and then all you do is breathe heavy in my ear. If that be the case you need not bother writing me. Continue to lurk if you must.

I have also started obsessing over the new fall season of tv shows. My obsession has included making a calendar for when all the premieres are so I don't miss them and another calendar that shows what day of the week each show is on and at what time. Yes, you may laugh if you wish.... but we'll see who you come to when you want to be filled in on what you missed. ~snort~

One last thing before I go.... has anyone moved a blog before? I mean, just changed the blogger address.. not a move from Blogger to Wordpress or something. What about the archives, how do you take them with you? I need some help here, if you have tips. Thanks.

Shabat Shalom, y'all!

stung

2006-09-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

7:20am Monday Sept 4th, 2006
Labour Day (read: DAY OFF)

A phone rings somewhere in the distance as I pry an eye open to scout my bedroom for a phone. The cordless, I realize, is in the other room. Brushing aside the "who? why? what day is it?" questions racing through my mind I dash for the phone ringing in the spare bedroom.

*grumblegrumble*
"Allo?"
"STEVE IRWIN IS DEAD!!!!" exclaims my mother.
(I find myself staring at the ceiling now as I go through the Rolodex of names in my mind and try, in my groggy state, to put a face to the familiar name. My brain fails me as I was asleep not 30 seconds ago and is still warming up.)
"Steve Irwin.......Steve Irwin....."
"STEVE IRWIN THE CROCODILE GUY!!!"
(ah yes, I remember now!! and I find myself instantly saddened)
"Wow, really?? What happened?"
"He was killed by a stingray!!!"
"Oh, not a croc?"
"No."
"Ok, well, while I am truly sad to hear he's gone..... did you really call and wake me up at 7:20am to tell me this?"
"Be happy, I was going to call you at 6:45am"
"I'm thrilled. Can I go back to bed now?"
"Yes, bye!"

And that was how my day started. I'm sure you've all heard the fuss about poor old Steve's death, and as I said, I am truly sorry to hear it. Love him or hate him he meant well and did lots to raise awareness and to educate. My heart goes out to his wife and kids..... his time came too soon.

*sigh* Makes any talk of my life seem so silly now, so I'll just justify my recent absence with the now familiar "I've been working" excuse. Sad part is that it's true. I was on the road for a week and a half putting nearly 2,000 kms on my car in one week (that's about 1,243 miles for you crazy Americans) and now I should be home for the foreseeable future (2-3 weeks). *fingers crossed*

Other than that life is treating me ok, so I can't really complain. If you read my prior post you heard about my friend's dog Gator for whom we were throwing a doggie party. He spent time in the park with all his little dog friends as they played games, ate snacks and peed on my purse. A good time was had by all and a week or so later the sweet pup known as Gator was put to sleep. I got the email from my friend upon returning from my time out on the road and was crushed for her. If you've ever lost a beloved pet, you understand.

Anyway, a new week lays before me and I hope it's a little calmer than last week. I even managed to head to a "Geek Convention" this weekend where my friends and I (and thousands of other comic book and sci fi nerds) crowded into a hall to be among peers and talk in fluent geek-speak. I even saw my childhood hero, Carrie Fisher!

My birthday is next week so I'm trying to come up with a list for people who are hounding me with the "what do you want?" question. *shrug* I dunno! Suggestions are welcome...

Later Gator!

2006-08-20T15:13:00.000-04:00

Some years ago (nearly 10) I was gainfully employed at a pet store, fulfulling a childhood dream and completing the trifecta of dream jobs I have held (record store, toy store, pet store). There I became good friends with a fellow employee and long after the closure of the store we have remained good friends. And of course, we both took pets home from the store and kept them for ourselves, and we became "god parents" to each other's 'children' (neither of us has children, so our cats and dogs are our babies).

I am about to head down to my friend's home to visit, for the last time, one of my nephews... Gator. I got an email last night from my friend saying that dear old Gator wasn't expected to live much longer and it was decided that a barbeque/party would be thrown in his honour, while he is still around to enjoy the celebration. *sigh* I thought it was a great idea and I am off to pick up the tastiest snacks I can find for him. Gator is a sweet old pup.... I think somewhere around12-15 years... and he is simply too tired to fight off the cancer that is ravaging his lymphoides. I hope that his end is swift and painless, and that his celebration today is a joyful one.

Hats off to one of the sweetest dogs I have ever known.

Return of the Blogger

2006-08-18T20:35:00.000-04:00

Wow, that was quite the absence, wasn't it? Well, it was a few things (work, computer death, etc) but mostly I just didn't feel like writing. Hell, I don't even feel like writing that much right now, but I know sometimes you just have to drag yourself back into the saddle again.

In the last week I have *finally* got in the mood to do things I have needed to do for months now.... things that just require you to be in that right mood in order to do it. Like unpacking boxes from moving into my new place 4.5 months ago and cleaning out junk drawers and getting organized. So obsessed did I get that I actually worked *right* through the night last Saturday and went for some 42 hours without sleeping. I know that sounds borderline unhealthy but I have to say that the awesome feeling of accomplishment I got from it was well worth it. I also got a months worth of paperwork done, so that worked out well. Now I just need to get my computer organized and I have already started by cleaning up my Gmail inbox, whittling it down from 182 emails to 20. Whew!

Every time something crazy has happened in the news I felt like I should be blogging. The ceasefire between Israel and Hizbollah. The fraudelent pictures depicting Israel in a bad light (pfft. what else is new??). Crazy new airport rules because of another scare. An arrest in a 10 year old murder case that seems to supercede all that other stuff. I ended up not blogging because... well.... I guess I felt like I didn't have much to add in terms of observation. That and I think I just had to unplug for a while. All this craziness with Israel and Lebanon had lead to some sleepless, nightmare filled nights for me so my self preservation finally kicked in and I took a step back from the news. *sigh* And to think that 24% of Israel's population was living in poverty before this war... I hate to think what will happen now... And yes, I feel horrible for the innocent Lebanese that got caught in the middle of all this.

Anyway. Howzabout some random links for fun? Haven't had one of those kinda posts in a long LONG time.... so enjoy this roundup of useless but amusing links!

1) "A new Hamas website features animated figures calling on youngsters to fight Zionists, commit suicide for God... The animated figure calls on children surfing the web to enter the site and learn about the lives of "shahids" (martyrs) who "died a hero's death," after massacring Jews." Oh wait.... wait, I said I was going to stop talking about that kind of stuff, right? Sorry I mixed up talk of kids sites with something that might be FUN and carefree. My mistake.

2) Simply the most stunning pictures taken of China EVER. Ever ever ever.

3) Come on, you like cheesy games as much as I do. Mind Me Bloody Beer! Drunk Walk! (those babies are for you Sam!) Russian Roulette! Penguin Baseball! Lust for Bust! Spank The Monkey! (worth it for the music, alone!) This site has it all! Prefer classic 80's games? Get yer fill right here!

4) Apparently you can train your pet fish. Um.... you know, to do tricks and stuff. *shrug* There are videos if you don't believe me!

5) I'm pretty sure I'm going to go straight to hell for finding this amusing. It's childish and so so wrong... Ding! Fries are done!

6) If you've never had the opportunity to watch Reefer Madness (circa 1936!), here's your chance! It's not just for potheads anymore!

7) Need a dose of cuteness? Head to Cutecore for things that'll make ya say... awwwww!! If that's not enough cuteness for ya, go here for more.

8) Sometimes bad pictures happen to good people.... and then get mad fun of mercilessly on the internet. Be sure to click the "Next" button underneath .. repeatedly. Welcome to Silly Mosh Girl Images.

9) An oldie but a goodie: the evolution of Michael Jackson's face. That be some scary shit, kids.

10) Alright, if that freaked you out let me make you laugh until you forget; here is a hilarious clip of 4 babies laughing. It's too adorable for words and almost makes me want to have kids. ALMOST, I said.

11) Please, will someone explain this picture to me? And while you're at it, explain why someone would even create such a thing.

12) Once again, so very wrong but this clip brings me tears I laugh so hard. And you best believe I did it to MY cat after watching it. The amazing part? My cat had the exact same reactions. I am going straight to hell, anyone care to join?

13) To my Americans friends: I love clips like this of your president. We never get good stuff like this with our prime minister.

14) Dear sweet God, how I love you Mr. Hasselhoff. I'd jump in your car anytime.

15) Whattya mean drugs and wars don't mix?

16) Raise your hand if you like Jesus! If you do, I have just the store for you!

17) I think I found what I want for my birthday (Sept 13th, in case you were wondering): a Banana Guard. Oh yes, make my banana safe from bruising, oh helpful guard o' mine!

18) When you're done explaining the pic in #11 to me, explain this friggin' thing to me, please.

19) Ok SERIOUSLY now... how much time do you have on your hands that you'd actually create a Virtual Stapler?? Hover and then click on them!!

20) When you're bored of making virtual staplers go ahead and stack your pennies. Another fine time-killer.

21) Need a little help remembering something? No one in your life to nag you? Let HassleMe help. I set it up to remind me to clean the cat litter.

22) If you like Star Wars and ninjas you will find this freakin' HILARIOUS.

23) In case you didn't know I have a deep love affair with the new (and old!) Battlestar Galactica series. While I am normally against posting results of silly personality tests (though that's not to say I don't enjoy taking them when no one is looking) I simply had to post this one because I love the character and the analysis is surprisingly accurate in that blanket-explanation kind of way (that I and I LOVE Starbuck):

You scored as Lt. Kara Thrace (Starbuck). You are the best damn Viper pilot in the fleet, so everyone else can just frack off. They need you, not the other way around. Maybe if you keep pushing people away they won't get close, because that is scary and it hurts. Oh yes, and anyone who has a problem with you being a woman needs to just get over it.

Lt. Kara Thrace (Starbuck)

88%

Capt. Lee Adama (Apollo)

81%

Commander William Adama

75%

CPO Galen Tyrol

75%

Col. Saul Tigh

69%

Dr Gaius Baltar

56%

President Laura Roslin

50%

Tom Zarek

50%

Lt. Sharon Valerii (Boomer)

44%

Number 6

44%

What New Battlestar Galactica character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Anyway, that about does it for me. Feeling good about this post... I think I'm back, kids!! WOOT WOOT!! Have a great weekend, and Shabat Shalom!

what now??

2006-08-04T11:28:00.000-04:00

My computer has died, that's why I haven't been writing. You can imagine how happy that's making me. I have bought a couple of big hard drives and am in the process of salvaging my data from the old drives. If you have ever had to do this you know what a royal pain in the ass this, not to mention painstakingly time consuming. Because of course I have time for this. GRR!!

Be back soon.

Hanging By A Moment

2006-07-28T23:33:00.000-04:00

Well, I *was* having a good day until I read about this.
Now I'm just sad.... deeply deeply sad.
Is this how it's going to be now? Is this a sign of things to come?

It reminds me of the Hebrew lessons I used to take a few years back and how our classroom (in the Jewish centre I went to) was the only office in the building that had cameras outside the office door and an intercom to get in. I recall how depressing it was when the teacher explained to the class that we must always be careful. Be wary. That there are always going to be people who want to hurt us and that we must always be mindful of that. No matter where we live.

One time I was walking with my Hebrew teacher down the street when a group of kids in an SUV drove by and yelled anti-semetic remarks at us as they drove by and I remember how horrible it made me feel. How angry. And now I wonder..... can I expect more of that to come?

How sad is it that I'm thankful I'm working two weeks straight so that I don't have time to sit glued in front of the tv to watch all this unfold? I can't anymore, I just can't. It saps me of hope.

Shabbat Shalom.

crispy

2006-07-26T08:24:00.000-04:00

Oy, I am feeling seriously burnt out. 10 hours of driving in a 20 hour period was a bit much and I am feelin' it this morning. Got home at midnight last night from Montreal and I am hopping in the car again now to head up north and be on the road for another 3 days. You can only imagine how excited I am at the prospect of another 7 hours of driving in the next couple of days. Even more exciting is the idea that I won't get a day off again until August 5th. Colour me thrilled!!

And I'd love to comment on what's going on in Israel but what more can really be said at this point? Things are getting far uglier than I thought they would with no promise of relief. I find myself defending Israel in conversations with people and hate that I can detect disbelief in their voices when talking to them. I feel like I'm running out of arguments when things (like UN workers getting killed) happen. While I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for what happened (no I don't believe it was deliberate, come ON people!) it doesn't matter.... the world has already decided the truth. *sigh*

Anyway, I'm heading out the door and will likely not be online again 'til Friday. Until then, be good.

blurry eyed and ready to drop

2006-07-24T08:54:00.000-04:00

First of all, let me say that I am righteously pissed off that I have become the recent target of comment spam. I hate that I may be forced to take steps to stop it, and I naively believed that my blog would fly under the radar coz of my tiny readership. Oh well. Anyone who has found a good system (ie: doesn't require readers to register in order to comment) please let me know.... I need to start investigating options.

Anyway, I am home safe and sound from Pennsylvania though the return was a difficult one as many things ran amok all at once. Missed flights and thunderstorms made travel difficult and I am just happy to be home, if but for a moment. Today I am driving to Montreal to take one of my co-workers home (part of that whole flights missed fiasco) to the tune of 5.5 hours on the road. I'll stay the night there, drive home, and then the next drive 4.5 hours north. My week will be spent working (and driving, driving and more driving), including the weekend so it's safe to say I'm starting to feel pretty burnt out just thinking about the next 2 weeks without a day off. Joy!

I am having nightmares about all that is going on in Israel and I am getting frustrated with how the public opinion is shifting against Israel, the longer this goes on. I don't even know what to say about it anymore, I truly don't. Like most I just want it to end, one way or another.....

Take care this week, my friends. I'll post when I can.....

I close my eyes, but still I see...

2006-07-16T22:07:00.000-04:00

I had a long day of traveling, plane catching and driving to get to Pennsylvania today for a week of training for work. When I finally got into my hotel room my phone rang almost immediately and my mom told me I should probably turn on the news if I hadn't already.

I have been glued to the news for the last hour and all I can do is shake my head and read all the Israeli blogs I can to make sure everyone is ok. A co-worker came by my room and sat on the couch watching a bit of the news and started saying a few things about the situation that started getting me riled up and I said something to the effect of "I don't think you want to go there with me, you really don't.". It was a warning to back off and thankfully she took it and backed off. I was just too tired and not in the mood to educate the ignorant.

I don't even know what to say about it all anymore. More than anything I guess I've mellowed from mad to just plain sad.

I want this to stop. I want Israel to get her soldiers back and Hizbollah to go away so that Israel can stop. I want Lebanon to have a chance to rebuild and not have its country hijacked by terrorists who drag them into wars and hide like dirty cowards among Lebanese citizens. I just want peace damnit.

Dare to dream.

oh they did NOT just do that....

2006-07-15T09:52:00.000-04:00

Being on the road all the time means I am out of touch with the news much of the day. Wednesday I was straining to listen to some damn French news station on the radio (I was in eastern Ontario, near the Quebec border) to try and hear the report about Israel, but my French is so bad I could only make out bits and pieces. Yesterday when I got home and turned on the news I gasped as I heard that an Israeli ship was hit in the water by either an unmanned drone packed with explosives (and flown into the ship) or a missile. 4 soliders missing off the ship, one since found dead.

Then this morning I woke up to hear that Tiberias, another town I loved spending time in last September, was hit by rockets from Lebanon. I am shocked that the rockets could reach that far and I am getting really angry that they are hitting some of the towns that are closest to my heart. I am also stunned with the swift speed at which this has all been escalating... it has been simply breathtaking.

For an amazingly beautiful if not heartbreaking view on the crisis go to the Lebanese Blogger Forum and read a post in which a Lebanese declares his desire for peace with Israel (and declares that Israel is not to blame for the situation! be still my heart!). Be sure to read the comments that follow for an interest dialogue between the two sides. Hat tip: Allison. For a post about my time along the Lebanon border last fall click here.

Meanwhile, it's Saturday and I am off to work for the day. Evidently I no longer have a life or even a desire for one. :-/ Upon my return I am packing up and in the morning I'm flying down to the US (Pennsylvania) for a week of training. I'll probably post again tonight before I head out tomorrow..... I hate to think of what the news will bring when I get out of work later today.

UPDATE: It's 11pm and I have finished all my paperwork for the week and I am packed and ready to head to the airport in the morning; my alarm is set for 5:45am. *groan* I am taking my laptop so if I have the time and energy I'll try and give an update from Pennsylvania, and I will of course be keeping my eyes on the news while I am there (though I will be out of touch during working hours). Let's keep our thoughts and prayers on the crisis....

stress puppy

2006-07-14T07:44:00.000-04:00

I've become glued to the news about Israel the likes of which I have not been since the US rolled into Iraq a few years back. I have even been reading Arab versions of the news to see what their take is on this (not surprisingly they say no one has been killed in Israel, when indeed civilians have been killed). Yesterday morning I was in a hotel room when I logged into the internet on my laptop and gasped when I saw reports that Lebanon had hit the northern town of Safed (Tzfat) in Israel, a town close to my heart as I spent a great deal of time there last Sept/Oct. I was worried about those I knew there and was angry that such a beautiful and quiet town was hit with rockets. I stared at the pictures, trying to make out the shops and streets I recognized from walking the streets so many times....

Going into the weekend more reports of Safed getting hit are coming in, not to mention reports of Haifa (another town I love) and various other northern towns. *Hundreds* of rockets have been raining down in Israel over the past few days and Israel has taken to bombing spots in Beirut to cut their supply line and to destroy weapon caches. I'm seriously stressed about the situation and worry about all my friends over there. The feeling of helplessness as I worry about people half a world away well and truly sucks, and having been through it before does not make it any easier this time. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those living through this right now, including the innocents on both sides who are caught in the middle of all.

Shabbat Shalom.

alive and kicking (but not too much, it gets me out of breath)

2006-07-12T08:15:00.000-04:00

Hey all, sorry for the long delay in posting again. It has been a crazy emotional roller coaster over the last week or so. Not being able to breathe well really does something to the psyche, ya know? Not to mention the STEROIDS that I was on. Holy hell, Prednisone is a horrible, horrible drug! Talk about roid rage..... I was a seriously grumpy girl. Dark clouds followed me everywhere and I was simply not a pleasant girl to be around. To add to the joy I had such charming side effects as massive joint pain in the knees and a debilitating back pain, both of which would arrive like clockwork two hours after my dose of Prednisone. Lotsa fun!

But I am off the steroids and am feeling better. At least I thought I was doing better until I went to the doctor for my follow up and she put the stethoscope to my back to listen to my breathing and said I still had recovered from my asthma attack 9 days earlier. I was a bit pissy about the news, actually. She then proceeded to lecture me about not using my inhalers everyday in my recover as I was told to and said I "had to, had to, HAD TO" start using them twice a day. I have to go back in a week to see her again. *groan*

Thanks for all your support gang, I really appreciate your sweet words and encouragement. (especially that Italian devil who anonymously posted that he thought I was beautiful! A-prrowl!) Thanks to all your support and some good lovin' in my life I am feeling worlds better... my mood is better than ever. Toda raba! (Thank you!!)

On to other topics....

I can no longer ignore the events in Israel and not comment. First it was the kidnapping of Gilad Shalit (an Israeli soldier snatched by Hamas) and Israel's re-entry into Gaza to get him (which they have yet to do). Now I just read that Israeli troops have entered Lebanon in response to two more soldiers being kidnapped by Hizbollah. I find all this extremely disturbing and upsetting.... I know Israel has to defend herself and all, but I also know the world sees this as a bullying tactic and I hate that Israel is constantly misunderstood. The world wouldn't bat an eyelash if the US launched a huge incursion to get one of their own back, but somehow Israel is a big bad monster when they do it. Hell, the US would launch a massive effort to rescue one of their own and then make a damn MOVIE about it and the world would applaud. Israel is spanked by the UK, the UN and half the planet for being this oppressive beast always picking on the little Palestinians. I am so SICK of it.

What's Israel supposed to do? Just sit back and let rockets get lobbed into their country from Gaza? Because hundreds had been falling into various towns for weeks before the kidnapping, you understand. The kidnapping was just the final straw that finally made Israel say "enough". Is Israel supposed to apologize for their policy of doing whatever it takes to save one of their own? This is a country that would not exist if not for its soldiers standing guard each and every day, so you're damn right Israel will do what it takes to protect her guardians (read this moving article truly understand why Israel goes to such lengths to save but one soldier). Do I like that Israel has to stage massive operations in order to do it? No. But I know Israel has to stand up and fight or else more soldiers and civilians will be kidnapped.

Go get your soldiers back Israel, and make no apologies to anyone.

how I spent my Canada Day holiday

2006-07-01T21:11:00.000-04:00

In a nutshell, I spent my holiday in the emergency room of my local hospital. Luckily (?) I have spent so much time in this very place that I knew where the washrooms, blankets and drinks are to be found. When the nurse registering me asked if I had been to this hospital before I snickered and said "Yes. Plenty of times". I counted at least 3, maybe 4 surgeries in this hospital not to mention the countless other scans, x-rays and ultrasounds.. Good times.

Anyway, my normally dormant and mild asthma decided today was the day it was going to rear it's head to enough an extent that I would be forced to seek greater measures than my usual inhaler in order to catch a breath. This did not exactly thrill me since, though the healthcare is free in this country, it means spending hours upon hours waiting around in the hospital to see a doctor. Not appealing when all I want to do is sleep because I'm not getting enough air to keep me awake.

Part of the fun of this trip was that there was no one around to go with me to keep me company. My parents are out of town and my beau lives nowhere near here. I was on my own, but hey... not my first time alone in emerg. *shrug*

When a nurse finally came in to take my vitals and check my breathing it went a little like this:
(places stethoscope to my back)
"Ok, take a deep breath"
(I attempted to breath)
"Are you breathing??"
"Yes, I'm breathing!!"
"Ok, take a DEEP breath then"
"Look, that's as good as it gets, that's why I'm here"
"Oh. Well that's not good, we better get something for that."

What I got was 5 hours of sitting in a hospital, a dose of prednisone (a steroid), and many hauls from two separate inhalers, one of which tasted so vile I wretched and coughed for 3 minutes straight after each puff. I also got some chest x-rays and three prescriptions to go home with (more prednisone! lucky me! *ugh*).

Anyway, now I gotta take this nasty-ass inhaler every 4 hours and if I feel like I can't make it the 4 hours in between the doses I need to go back to the hospital. *snore* What fun is that? I FINALLY get a long weekend off from working my ass off all week and this is my reward??
*pout*

When I get my breathing back under control I'm going to post some pictures and stories from my trip out to the east coast last week. Stay tuned and have a great weekend.

oh and... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANADA!!!

where am I??

2006-06-27T03:17:00.000-04:00

Bah.

It's a little after 3am and believe me, I'm not up coz I wanna be. I have a flight to catch in a few hours. I'd love to write a deeply insightful post for you but my days have gone something like this..

Thursday: drive 2 hours north, stopping at stores and working along the way. Stay at Grandma's for the night.

Friday: wake up with a blinding migraine and hit the road at 7:30am and drive and additional 2.5 hours north and back (coz who doesn't love driving for 5 hours in construction?), work for 6 hours hours in between that time making for one helluva long day. Stay at Grandma's again.

Saturday:Wake at 5:45am (coz apparently old people don't need to sleep) and open fishing season by hitting the lake at 7am. Proceed to catch many bass, none of which are large enough to keep for dinner. This secretly makes me happy but annoys my grandma.

Sunday: drive 2 hours south, back home. Hang out with the parents, go home for a couple of hours and then get back in the car at 7pm and drive 3.5 hours to a town in the eastern end of Ontario. Stay the night.

Monday: drive 3.5 hours back home, working along the way. work doesn't end until about 7pm at which time I stop by my friend's house to see his 6 day old baby boy. hold baby and coo for an hour, then head home. order pizza, go to bed a little after 10pm.

Today: despite alarm being set for 3:45am I am incapable of sleeping until then and get up early. must post instead.

ta da.
Tres exciting, non? *snore*
Hey, I never promised an exciting post at this hour.

Ok, so I am off to New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island until Friday (those would be provinces on the east coast of Canada, for those not in the know). I can hardly wait for the photo op! I'll bring back all kinds of pics to share and no doubt some good stories. Have a good week, folks!

all quiet on the Western front..

2006-06-22T06:58:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling quiet these days, have you noticed? It started with my last post in which I mentioned that people I don't want reading this blog are, in fact, doing just that. That realization gave me reason to pause and think about what I say on here. Now I have to choose what I share more carefully, and that makes me kind of sad...

Otherwise, things are good; work? good. home? good. car? good. love? good. All seems right, and I have no real complaints. Perhaps I am a better blogger when I am all angry and disenfranchised with life, no? I spent last weekend moping quite a bit (I needed to throw a pity party because I'm not getting my way on a few matters. lol) but this weekend there shall be no time for moping. I am heading up north to once again combine work with pleasure. Today and tomorrow I will be working while staying at my grandma's, but the rest of the weekend will be spent fishing. As many of you may know, the last weekend in June is always reserved for my grandma as it is the opening of fishing season. She's been waiting all winter for this, and it's a tradition going back over 20 years now. Bring on the fish!!

This Sunday is the Pride Parade in Toronto which I have traditionally gone to for the last... I don't know... 8 years? It's always such a party and so damn much fun, but I'm not sure I'll be going this year. We'll see what time I get back from grandma's. If I do, I will post pictures on my photoblog as always. So... on the road until Sunday, back for a day on Monday and then I catch a plane on Tuesday for New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island on the Canadian east coast for work (training a new employee). Woo hoo!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

infiltration

2006-06-15T07:36:00.000-04:00

Know what makes me sad? The fact I will never be able to talk about certain stuff on here. When I first started this blog I had intended to keep it away from people I know "in real life" in order to allow me to be anonymous enough to share all my deep dark secrets, but as happens with blogs, friends and family have come across this blog. Some have confessed to me that they were reading and when I gently asked them not to read it, they stopped. Others read it and despite my asking them to step forward, refuse to admit to it. I accept a lot of the blame for people I know reading it.... I had mentioned I had a blog several times in passing, and people are naturally curious. It doesn't take a whole lot of Googling to find this blog, ya know? So I know I am to blame as well. But it's like a diary.... just because you found it doesn't mean you should read it when you know the other person doesn't want you to.

In an effort to separate the two worlds I had created a separate "friends and family" blog when I went on my trip to Israel last September, which was (and still is) virtually the same as this blog. It's not published on any public Blogger pages or found by Googling, so I am free to be more open about some subjects on there and use my real name. So I talk about work on there more than here (but still don't give too much info for fear of repercussions, coz you never know) but generally have discussed things like my love life more on this blog than with my entire family (and anyone *they* have given the blog to... like my grandma's cleaning lady!! you see my point.) on the other blog.

However, I have noticed recently that someone in the North Bay/Markstay region of Ontario is happily going from one blog to the other when checking up to see if I've posted recently. I know some things about this individual (like the fact that Sympatico is the internet provider) but I can't pinpoint exactly *who* it is. I have some idea, but before I go off like a rocket and blame someone I need to do a little more research. Meanwhile it really chaps my ass that someone is reading boths blogs when I have specifically asked friends and family to grant me my space and privacy. I know, foolish to ask when the blog is so public.

In the end, even if the person confesses to reading my blog it will forever make me realize that there are certain things I will never be able to discuss on here.... and that just sucks. I guess you'll just have to use your fertile imagination about how wonderful my love life is. hahahaha...

Anyway, I was in Montreal all weekend and now I am back out on the road and off for another 5 hour car trip and overnight stay and then 5 hour trek back tomorrow. Ah, life on the road.... must find a way to sneak some play in there amongst the work....

ye old double standard

2006-06-08T23:49:00.000-04:00

So let me see if I've got this straight....

When Israel targets and kills known terrorists it's labelled as an assassination and the world condemns them. Oh, and those known terrorists are called "militants" or "freedom fighters", not terrorists.

When the US Army kills a known terrorist using an airstrike (what Israel also employs to target terrorist leaders) the world heralds them and indeed the entire US and all media praise them for taking another important step in the "War on Terror". Not only is the killing applauded, but the footage of the bombing is posted all over the internet as is the picture of the dead guy.

Can I ask what the difference is?

P.S.
The advisor to the President or Iran, has publicly stated that Jews are filthy. "Historically, there are many accusations against the Jews. For example it was said that they were the source for such deadly disease as the plague and typhus. This is because the Jews are very filthy people. For a time people also said that they poisoned water wells belonging to Christians and thus killed them". And so the lies are perpetuated.....

blog - a four letter word

2006-06-08T23:03:00.000-04:00

Is it pathetic that I am actually considering buying a tape recorder that I can keep in my car to record things that I want to blog about later? I have a real short memory you see, and lots of amusing things happen while I am on the road, but I always forget them by the time I get to my computer. Plus, with the amount of hours I spend on the road I get lots of time to think about stuff; sometimes deep, sometimes not so much.

My new car is fantastic, I'm sure you're dying to know. In less than a week I put 1200 km (746 miles) on my new car, which pretty much tells you the kind of abuse this poor thing is going to get under my ownership. My ass is also much happier with this new car which has been especially great given the amount of time I spend in the car. Happy butt, happy driver!

So let's see... where have I been this week that has kept me away from blogging? I was on the road again, up north, for a couple of days. A shocker, I know. I did some training sessions up north and got to spend a bit of time with grandma again. Ya gotta like a job that allows me to cast my fishing line in for a bit before heading into work. And again when I come back from dinner before going back to work at night. *grin* I even caught me two fish, oh yes I did! (smallmouth bass, if you're wondering) Fishing season hasn't legally opened yet though, so back in the water they went (which makes me happier than putting them in frying pan anyway, much to the shagrin of my grandma).

So I have been home long enough to do a little laundry, tidy the home a bit, and then tomorrow I fly to Montreal to spend a little quality time among the French. I'm trying to get over my loathing for the French.... so far it's going swimmingly. I might learnt o get along with the French yet!

I gotta say, life is pretty good for me right now.... my blog was so much more interesting when I was angst ridden. My job is great and I'm loving it; things are looking good and I may even be given more responsibility in the near future. I love my new home and my new car and I have a new love in my life. What more could a girl ask for? I have the world by the ass and I am enjoying every minute of it. Of course this all comes with a hint of paranoia as to when "the other shoe will drop" as I am forever in fear that things are going too well in my life and something is bound to go wrong. But for now I am just going to ride this wave....

If I don't get a chance to put up a quick post tomorrow, have a great weekend. If you want to see more pictures that I took while up north head on over to my photoblog; I took some amazing pics, if I do say so myself. Enjoy!

playing dress-up

2006-06-05T07:29:00.000-04:00

My weekend was one filled with a little work and a little play. Somehow I got suckered into working on both Sunday and Saturday, but not for the whole day or anything. Still, I clearly need to learn to say no or I'll never get a weekend off.

As you can see from the picture, I got together this weekend with my childhood girlfriends for dress fittings; one of the girls is getting married in November and I am one of the bridesmaids. The blue outfit you see (go ahead and click the thumbnail for the larger image if you like) is what I will actually be wearing except it will be a red satin, not blue. You'll also notice another friend of mine hiding, half dressed, behind the curtain in the background. hahaha .... we had a good time, even if it did involve me having to get into a dress.

Just for the hell of it I even tried on the pinkest frilliest dress in the shop. I felt like Barbie as I stood in this giant caketopper-like frock. "I feel pretty! Oh-so pretty!". Once again, I thought of ocB when I was wearing it, since she has a special hate in her heart for pink. I made sure my friend took a picture because that's about the most girlie thing I have worn in my *life* and perhaps ever again. Maybe I should print it out and frame it for my mother...

Happy Monday Morning, everyone!

'I once got so angry I put a whole army to sleep'

2006-06-01T20:24:00.000-04:00

Beware, rant ahead....

Let me start by saying that I am, and have always been, a loyal Nokia consumer. I just like their phones, what can I say? When I got a new phone in December I got a Samsung that had all the bells and whistles and shiny colour screen and all that good stuff. I hated it and returned it a few days later and downgraded to a Nokia that I liked better. The guy at the phone store couldn't understand why I would take an 'inferior' phone but it was really quite simple... I don't *need* all those damn bells and whistles, I just need to be able to make a few calls and text people and the Nokia phone was better at it.

Alright, so you get my point; I like Nokia.

Now then, over the years I have been somewhat at odds with using a headset for my cellphones. At least once or twice a day I would get them caught on something and have them yank on my ear (which hurts and sends me from zero to furious in a millisecond and causes me to swear a blue streak) or I got them caught when getting out of the car and inevitably the cord would get ruined. Once the cord is ruined they are pretty much useless because people begin to complain that you cut in and out of the conversation (based on how the cord is positioned at any given moment). Anyway! With my job and very extended time spent on a cellphone (which gets hot the longer you are on it, and who wants that next to her head?) it was clear that I was going to have to give in to using a headset again.

At first I bought one on eBay because I am admittedly cheap. I find it ridiculous that a headset costs $30 especially given the phenomenal rate at which I go through them. I don't know why I bothered to buy one on eBay because past experience has taught me that you get what you pay for and indeed the headset I got just couldn't deliver the volume loud enough for me to hear people on the other end. And so began my hunt for a Nokia headset.

Long story short, I tried every cellphone place around town and could not find one. Everyone was out of stock and had no intention of restocking anytime soon; nobody buys these 'inferior' phones anymore, afterall. *sigh*

Finally I went on the Nokia Canada website and ordered the nicer of the two headsets available for my cellphone. I figured this was an investment in my work and I wanted to get the best damn Nokia product for my little 'inferior' phone. I submitted my credit card info and shipping address and was very happy to see that shipping would be free. With taxes my total was $34.95. Yeeha! I should have the headset in a week or two at the most.

"Thank you again for shopping at store.nokia.ca. We are currently processing your order. Your selection is summarized in the order detail listed below.
You will receive an e-mail notification once your order has been shipped.
If you have questions or comments, you can refer to our customer support.
Please e-mail us at: store.nokia@nokia.com or call us at 1-888-22-NOKIA."

Oddly, shortly after I placed the order I got a call from my credit card company asking if I had just ordered something online from Nokia. I told them that yes I had and that they were authorized to charge my card in the amount of $35. (how does an online order seem fishy but me gallivanting all over Israel and England last year with my credit card doesn't seem strange at all?? Top notch security, Visa!) Anyway, Visa said they were just checking and so I gave them the all clear. I appreciate them keeping an eye on my card even if I find the timing bizarre.

Here ends the happy part of the tale. All that took place on May 3rd. Yesterday I began to wonder just where the hell my headset was as it had been almost a month. I went on the website and found a 1-800 number and called them. The woman was pretty much anti-useful and told me I would have to write Nokia in order to have them track my order. Wtf? Why have a phone number for your consumers? Fine, I'll email them (though look out, coz I'm pissed off now):

"It has been nearly a month and I have still not received my order. I called Nokia and was told to email you because they couldn't help me. As much as I enjoy being bounced around I would just as soon have someone help me out by tracking the order and letting me know where it is. This has been a ridiculous waiting time and I need that headset for work.

order # EC 1651

Please and thank you for any help"

Impressively quickly I got a reply:

"As part of our security process we verify user details from our online orders with those on record with the credit card issuing bank or institution. In your case these details could not be verified and as a result your order was cancelled and a refund issued on May 8th. We receive a high volume of attempted fraudulent transactions and as a result we have to be very black and white in these matters. Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience. Best regards, Store.Nokia.ca"

What??? SAY WHAT?????????? I snapped.

"Wow, thanks for not letting me know and keeping me guessing. You have taken me from being the most loyal of customers to Nokia, to never wanting to deal with you again. I received a phone call from my credit card company about this transaction to which I gave my approval so I can only wonder what went wrong. Once again, it was incredibly poor customer service to not let your customer know that the order had been cancelled; it was my first and last time ordering anything online from Nokia. First impressions count."

And here we are now, with me doing what any good blogger would do..... I'm blogging about it. Partly to get it off my chest and partly to vent my newfound hate towards Nokia. No, not hate.... hurt. I feel betrayed! My years of love have just been spit upon! Show me the love Nokia!! I have stood by you for years! Defended my 'inferior' phone when others laughed at me because I couldn't take pictures or listen to music! I didn't care because I loved you and your phones. And now I am left wondering what the hell went wrong.

Today I start shopping for a new phone and never go back to Nokia. Today I tell you all about it so that you too may turn your back on Nokia. And today I send Mr "Best Regards, Nokia.store.ca" the link to this post in my blog so he may know that I have shared my tale of woe with the world.

because I just don't drive fast enough as it is

2006-06-01T08:37:00.000-04:00

I got me a new car yesterday! This sexy new Honda Accord is mine all mine...
anyone wanna lay bets as to how long it will take for me to get a speeding ticket?

ya zoom zoom zoom

2006-05-29T02:29:00.000-04:00

I'm slowly coming to the realization that being on the road is more the norm than the exception in my life now. Yes, I disappeared for a week, thanks to yet another whirlwind week of activities. Work is really cramping my blogging style, lemme tell ya.

Last week when I coloured my hair (it looks lovely, thank you for asking) I had someone from out of town stay with me for several days, and then that friend left only to have another friend and her dad come into town for the day. After that I was busy working my ass off including working at 7am on Saturday morning (*choke*). And that brings me to now.... 2:30am on a Monday morning and doing paperwork before I hit the road again tomorrow for an overnight trip out of town. Then I'm back Wednesday and back up north on Thursday through Saturday. Mm-mm! Driving, driving, driving! You'd think with all this traveling I'd have some stories to share, wouldn't ya? I'll have to work on that this week...

Speaking of up north.... likin' that picture there? That would be at my grandma's place. Sweet lake, no? Makes it all worth it when I get to stop there for a time out during my crazy travels. For a few more awesome pics go to my photoblog.

See ya in a few days! (with a more exciting post, I promise!)

dye without the tie

2006-05-19T07:50:00.000-04:00

As I am sitting here I have hair colour brewing in my hair. Yes, I decided it was time and that I have had enough of my grey hair. Actually, that's not entirely true... my grey hairs weren't really bothering me but after a talk with my hair dresser yesterday some decisions were made. I had told him that I would keep my hair super short for the summer but come autumn I wanted to start growing it out and I wanted his help to keep me from hating the process and crying when my hair gets ugly. Let's face it, growing hair out is never a pretty sight. During the course of the conversation I told him how much I hate my dry curly hair and how it felt like hay and he gently explained that the grey had a lot to do with it (*ouch!*). He also said that if I grow my hair out I'm really going to want to hide those greys because although it looks kinda funky with my short hair it won't look so funky with long hair. I will look older than I am. Ugh, I had to agree.

So here I am with dye in my hair this morning. I figure I might as well get the hang of it now and I just wasn't willing to pay $50 to have so little hair done at the salon. The final clincher for deciding to do it was when my hair dresser said that dyeing hair often softens up the greys. *sigh* Fine, I'll dye my damn hair. "Oh, and go darker, so your grey is covered.... too light and it will look nasty when the greys fade first." *gulp* Now I remember why I had resisted this for so long. What a pain in the ass!

I had dyed my hair once before.... a looooong time ago.... and I had learned my lesson then. (or so I thought!) Back in the day I decided that my hair should be black. I always felt that black was the colour I *should* have been born with since my dad has black hair. So one day I enlisted the help of a friend and black it was. Did I mention that I had long thick hair back then? Long story short... I went berserk when the roots started coming in all medium brown in colour with black hair everywhere else. It looked horrible, but I didn't want to dye it black again. I was in the black trap. Eventually all my other girlfriends took mercy on me and chipped in the funds for me to go to a salon to have it "taken care of". $300 later and endless hours in the chair I came out with something sort of resembling my own hair colour (not before it was an orange colour after stripping the black out. I cried). It was horrible and my hair was so ruined by the stripping process that it eventually lead to me cutting all my hair off.

So why on earth am I doing it again?! Wow, even I'm wondering after reading that! Well, I figure in a worse case scenario I can cut it all out in a month.... my hair is short and grows super fast. This time if I don't like it I just have to wait a few weeks and cut it out and make like it never happened. But who knows.... I might actually really like it! I guess in about 15 mins I'll find out....

Have a great weekend everyone! Shabat Shalom!